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Two Wasted Months Of Marriage - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by cbrass(m): 4:29pm On Jul 24, 2016
jusRadical:




Well that is for them.

For me, my words, my thoughts and my actions matter most to me. I will account for them one day.

I have a name to live for. I have a race to run and I have a prize set before me.

God bless you bro, you sound like an old time Christian, I am highly touched by this reply
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Nobody: 4:30pm On Jul 24, 2016
mrwonlasewonie:
Op i have a feeling the so called saucy friend knows her where about so what you will do is to pet her,beg her and calm her down. If she talks anyhow ignore all that.just find a way to soften her heart then when you have gotten her attention and trust ask her about her friends where about or who will know of her whereabouts; you will see ,she'll tell you

YOU'RE a man na.you guys know your ways around with women especially calming them down. Just try it.if possible buy something for her and give your wife to give her so that she won't think you're trying to make passes at her.you can give your wife money to buy anything she feels a woman might like. It could be hand bag,clutch purse, neklace or Ankara.just do it to make her divulge information .bottonline is infiltrate her
it won't work that way

1 Like

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by brownlolly(m): 4:30pm On Jul 24, 2016
She walked away and I promise you she'll come back.

But my dad used to say that once a woman uses her hands to pack her luggage out of her matrimonial home, the husband must never take her back.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Funjosh(m): 4:31pm On Jul 24, 2016
Hmmmmm........... Let me be reading and learning.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Nobody: 4:31pm On Jul 24, 2016
mrwonlasewonie:
hen let the man find the woman first so that the family of the lady will not hold the man responsible for her disappearance.remember the father handed the daughter over to the man on the wedding day to love protect cherish bla bla bla.so when she's found he (husband) should ask her do you still want the marriage, if she says no then the man has done his best he can then inform her parents and wash hands off her matter. It's even less complicated since kids aren't yet involved
I like that

1 Like

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by AntiWailer: 4:31pm On Jul 24, 2016
@Op ,

You contributed to the destruction of that home.

You know they are having challenges and allowed her to always come and see how you are a perfect husband.

She must have used your pretense to conclude that her own hubby was useless after all.

You should not have welcomed her in your apartment at all.

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Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Ibukun003(m): 4:31pm On Jul 24, 2016
The love language of the wife is simply quality time and acts of service, of which the husband didn't understand. That of the husband, I presume its words of affirmation.

I recommend this book to everyone: The five love languages - How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate by Gary Chapman.

Love is not a fight but its something worth fighting for.

3 Likes

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by calebify1(m): 4:35pm On Jul 24, 2016
This is a really sad experience.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Cadamlk: 4:37pm On Jul 24, 2016
BellaElla:
Oga morning o. In my opinion I believe you are too involved in their marriage. Firstly it is only an irresponsible wife that visits neighbours everyday without reason. You and ur wife shouldn't have let it get that frequent. Its not a behaviour to encouraged and breeds over familiarity and disrespect. Another thing is when she started complaining about her marriage to u people, you should have known the kind of woman she was. That woman can set u up, she can cause issues between u and ur wife . She is not a wise person to associate with. However its not late to disassociate urself. Distance urself from their issues. Stop calling the woman. E no concern u. Let the man and his family sort it out. It would surprise u that when they are talking about their wahala or name would be mentioned. Over familiarity between neighbours dey always bring insult.
Hmnnnn!! Words of wisdom
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by NovusHomo(m): 4:39pm On Jul 24, 2016
Kakamorufu:
thats what happen when two individual did not do the courting the way its supposed to be. Another thing is that they might have been rushed into the marriage. Its well with the man, if his wife ever come back, he should try spice up the marriage. Don't dull

So, what is the way "courting" is supposed to be. Just curious.

1 Like

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by amclimax(m): 4:40pm On Jul 24, 2016
byvan03:
I will advise you to mind your business and let family members sort the issue. Only those inside the marriage know where the rain started beating them, just forget everything you think you know. Only the insiders ever know the true story.
may you never lack wisdom in your life.... God bless you.
to me the op is worst than the devil .... cuz of likes and front page he just they post people private life online....
now I believe if your friends doesnt know anything about you your enemies cant know too

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by marv1: 4:40pm On Jul 24, 2016
That woman has some unfinished job outside. The same sinario happened to my friend. They were married for 8months. I attended the wedding. The wife packed all her things and the marriage certificate and left b4 my friend got back from work. Meanwhile my friend said he called her that day at work and she responded everything was fine. Eventhough she was not working my friend said they had discussed how he would start a biz for her since she is a trained fashion designer, my friend too is into textile biz. She even washed his clothes and spread them outside the house that day b4 she left. Only for us to hear that she packed to another man's house who appears to her to have small coins and connection. Family meeting was called and the only thing she said was that my friend doesnt know how to kiss, he doesnt know how to make love to her. Everybody just bursted out laughing but she insisted she was not going back. She got pregnant for this man and delivered the baby. Her eyes have cleared now because the guy showed her his true colour and sent her packing after the baby came between them. My friend later saw her in an hosipital where she came for her daughter's treatment, she was hidding her face in one corner. After two years of waiting by my friend and calling her by concerned people, including a lawyer friend was fruitless, she always tell them they should to go to hell. My friend re-married another woman quietly. They have two kids now and they have moved to there own house. The first wife went back to her father's family compound which is always the tradition of most ladies in their family. The father died sometime last year and i dont know what has become of her because the properties have been shared. Since this incident happened i fear women.

8 Likes

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Cadamlk: 4:42pm On Jul 24, 2016
njiasi30:
[b]Firstly, u made a mistake by nt telling d man. U would ve saved D marriage by now. U would ve spoken to him man 2 man,in a nice way.[/b]pretend DAT u over heard when she was telling ur wife and she was bittered/crying bc she loves him. D hubby will feel remorse and make amend.

D marriage is 2 early 4 break up, d man is an introvert but he didn't balance things up. Women re 2 soft and dey love to b pampered, d man sleeping off everytime , it's painful Na. She was really lonely and no kids yet to fill in d gap DAT was why she got 2 close to ur family just to b happy. Dat was why she started comparing u 2 her hubby, every woman Will do d same when dey re nt seeing what dey desire...

U don't need to b compatible 2 ve a perfect marriage. Marriage is all abt understanding, tolerance, endurance... Learning each other flaws and accepting it, apologizing even if u re right, DAT shows u value ur relationship more Dan ur ego.listening to each other, No one is perfect, we re all working towards perfection and pray 4 D best.

It's unfortunate she ve a bad friend dat adviced her wrongly, keep calling/texting, let her know her hubby is sorry and all dat, if u can reach d friend fine.Let her hubby go and beg his in-laws and see d outcome first. I wish u best of luck trying 2 reunite dem wink
On that note, i wont blame the op because he may not have anticipated the marriage breaking up

1 Like

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by YINKS89(m): 4:43pm On Jul 24, 2016
nawa ooooo.....
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by NovusHomo(m): 4:45pm On Jul 24, 2016
mrwonlasewonie:
hen let the man find the woman first so that the family of the lady will not hold the man responsible for her disappearance.remember the father handed the daughter over to the man on the wedding day to love protect cherish bla bla bla.so when she's found he (husband) should ask her do you still want the marriage, if she says no then the man has done his best he can then inform her parents and wash hands off her matter. It's even less complicated since kids aren't yet involved

No, he should not wait to find her before telling her father. You never know...
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by badonkadonk: 4:46pm On Jul 24, 2016
snakie86:
We went into their flat and the only thing remaining was the chair, bed and the husband’s cloth, every other thing is gone including to something as small as eating spoon in the house. My wife dialed the lady’s number and it was switched off. I noticed i went to their flat in the morning to discuss an issue concerning the compound with the wife, i met a saucy friend of her in their flat that was just talking anyhow and putting her mouth into our discussion, i saw some packed load on the floor but my mind didn’t even go to anything like that.
I remembered i once called the attention to the fact that i have seen the wife like three times taking things out of the house as if someone was traveling, going out with two traveling bag and so. My wife said maybe probably she borrowed it and decided to return it to the owner but i told her then that i suspected maybe she was packing out of the house. The husband said he also noticed that her belongings were reducing in the house everyday and it got to a stage he started questioning her about where her things were but its either she says her sisters came to borrow her bags or she took her cloths for dry cleaning and they still argued about the rate at which her belongings had reduced in the house before going out in the morning and she swore in the name of God that her things were still intact.

I couldn’t face it when a grown up guy busted into tears in my flat saying he didn’t offend her and they didn’t have any misunderstanding prior before now. Like every marriage, they do have argument but they try as much as possible to settle it like couples do. He started asking what exactly did he do wrong.

The questions have been asking was why go into a marriage which you don’t want? That Monday was exactly two months they got married. I don’t know if there was emotional torture but am very sure there was never a physical abuse between them. Is divorce the next option if you don’t like your husband behavior? I asked the husband how long they dated before the marriage and he said over one and half years. If they were match make, he said NO, he saw her, asked her out and she accepted to date him. The question is WHAT WENT WRONG?

I keep asking myself if things would not have turned this way if we had intervened and shared experience with them as a young couple because apparently i believe they didn’t even witnessed 1% of what me and my wife went through in our first year.
Have called the wife like three times since this incident happened, her friend has been the one picking telling me it was a wrong number, the number her husband gave me herself. The wife’s parent said they don’t know anything about it and her whereabouts but i doubt if the lady’s mum didn’t know about all this.

The wife still respect me a lot and am thinking what i can do to even help, if i can talk her out of her thinking...Please what can i do to remedy this situation. Have sent a text message already to her phone telling her i was the one calling because i know she doesn’t have my number but their hasn’t been any response, i doubt if the friend handling the phone will even show her the text message.

Hmmm.. Women... That woman is not satisfied with what she has or had.. Unfortunately for her, she has a friend who advises her wrongly.... And unfortunately for her husband, he married a woman that can't think for herself and listens to her friend or friends more often than not...

Op!! My advise would be to stay out of their mess.... Face your own and thank God for the family you are building and how far He has brought you and your wife...

Only intervene when asked to... Until then, console and empathisize but dont intervene....

A word is good enough for the wise...
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by 0ubenji(m): 4:47pm On Jul 24, 2016
A woman who's genuinely distraught at the reality of a failed marriage to the extent of packing out of the ause WILL NOT REMEMBER to pack spoons..
Infact...she's even expected to forget some of her own things due to the heartbreak..
OP, that woman just pulled-off a successful 2yr grand scheme..she's not a wife..she only played the part.

13 Likes

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Odunharry(m): 4:47pm On Jul 24, 2016
Olami90:
Op, thanks for all your effort so far to the ex couple. Thanks for sharing too, this has opened my eyes to certain things and I have learned one more time.


That singular part of a domineering spouse is a no no for me. One of the reason I never regret losing my last relationship one bit and thanking God for the relationship coming to an end. It is a red flag that most guys should not ignore.
From my experience, ladies like that always know best, never take others idea/advice and always want to have their ways.

The husband should just take it as his loss for spending that much for the wedding(on someone that doesn't worth it) to the extent of having debt to settle. He made the mistake of ignoring the reg flag probably with the mind that it is not a big deal.
The more we continue to be real and to use our head instead of allowing emotion to control us, the better we will be and the better our marriages would be.
Thank you once again. I appreciate
This.... God bless
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by NovusHomo(m): 4:47pm On Jul 24, 2016
BellaElla:
Oga morning o. In my opinion I believe you are too involved in their marriage. Firstly it is only an irresponsible wife that visits neighbours everyday without reason. You and ur wife shouldn't have let it get that frequent. Its not a behaviour to encouraged and breeds over familiarity and disrespect. Another thing is when she started complaining about her marriage to u people, you should have known the kind of woman she was. That woman can set u up, she can cause issues between u and ur wife . She is not a wise person to associate with. However its not late to disassociate urself. Distance urself from their issues. Stop calling the woman. E no concern u. Let the man and his family sort it out. It would surprise u that when they are talking about their wahala or name would be mentioned. Over familiarity between neighbours dey always bring insult.

That is all, Mr "Peace-broker". Stay away from this. You are so involved that you take it as your problem.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by NovusHomo(m): 4:48pm On Jul 24, 2016
BellaElla:
Oga morning o. In my opinion I believe you are too involved in their marriage. Firstly it is only an irresponsible wife that visits neighbours everyday without reason. You and ur wife shouldn't have let it get that frequent. Its not a behaviour to encouraged and breeds over familiarity and disrespect. Another thing is when she started complaining about her marriage to u people, you should have known the kind of woman she was. That woman can set u up, she can cause issues between u and ur wife . She is not a wise person to associate with. However its not late to disassociate urself. Distance urself from their issues. Stop calling the woman. E no concern u. Let the man and his family sort it out. It would surprise u that when they are talking about their wahala or name would be mentioned. Over familiarity between neighbours dey always bring insult.

That is all, Mr "Peace-broker". Stay away from this. You are so involved that you have taken it as your personal problem.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Juzzybabe(f): 4:50pm On Jul 24, 2016
*Sad* The lady wasn't even ready for marriage! Her husband being an introvert is absolutely no reason to leave your marriage. She didn't even try to mould him into what she wants and she just left. "He who has a head has no cap..." For those asking about courtship,really does courtship determines a marriage status? Some people meet today,marry the next day and they are living happily. It is just about being ready to tolerate each other in some circumstances.

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Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Missonas(f): 4:50pm On Jul 24, 2016
She probably doesn't know the difference between courtship and marriage for life. Their problem is lack of communication. They dated for a year almost two and still the husband cannot have a clue of where she must have gone or someone that can reach out to her like her family or colleagues?
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Nobody: 4:50pm On Jul 24, 2016
Olami90:
Op, thanks for all your effort so far to the ex couple. Thanks for sharing too, this has opened my eyes to certain things and I have learned one more time.


That singular part of a domineering spouse is a no no for me. One of the reason I never regret losing my last relationship one bit and thanking God for the relationship coming to an end. It is a red flag that most guys should not ignore.
From my experience, ladies like that always know best, never take others idea/advice and always want to have their ways.

The husband should just take it as his loss for spending that much for the wedding(on someone that doesn't worth it) to the extent of having debt to settle. He made the mistake of ignoring the reg flag probably with the mind that it is not a big deal.
The more we continue to be real and to use our head instead of allowing emotion to control us, the better we will be and the better our marriages would be.
Thank you once again. I appreciate

I will think about this your advice very well
I see a lot of these in my gf

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by sorextee(m): 4:50pm On Jul 24, 2016
Something doesn't add up in this story.. Im too lazy to open page 1 nd 2 of dis post. Someone shld pls summarize abeg.

Well, we all know Kim Kardashian married one guy like dat nd dey divorced after 72hours. But two months for naija dey too far fetched...
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by 0ubenji(m): 4:51pm On Jul 24, 2016
badonkadonk:


Hmmm.. Women... That woman is not satisfied with what she has or had.. Unfortunately for her, she has a friend who advises her wrongly.... And unfortunately for her husband, he married a woman that can't think for herself and listens to her friend or friends more often than not...

Op!! My advise would be to stay out of their mess.... Face your own and thank God for the family you are building and how far He has brought you and your wife...

Only intervene when asked to... Until then, console and empathisize but dont intervene....

A word is good enough for the wise...
2nded
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Adefemiaderoju1: 4:54pm On Jul 24, 2016
The lady isn't the type for marriage simple as ABC
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by claremont(m): 4:54pm On Jul 24, 2016
I would advice that you mind your own damn business and your own damn marriage, stop poke-nosing into other people's affairs. It's the best advice you would ever get.

1 Like

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by bighorlus(m): 4:55pm On Jul 24, 2016
It's a sensitive issue and I know the problems could be from any of the couple but since you said there wasnt an argument or fight before she left means the decision to leave wasnt made in a hurry. some girls are not cut out for marriage and the challenges it brings but then again you never know what went wrong between the two. i'll give you a situation in a marriage i knew that lasted about 3 months.
This guy was my female cousins very good friend, his demeanor was such that you could tell immediately he is gay. i told the ones that cared to listen, but they said no he had a girlfriend, he talks about sex a lot bla bla bla. My cousin said no he only behaves live a girl etc
Fast forward to when i learnt he was getting married . WHAT? was all i could say when i saw his bride , beautiful, sexy, fantastic body. Infact my spec and im wondering how she ended up with this dude, but then who am i to judge the power of love. smiley they had their first dance as a couple the dude's ass shaked more than the wife rotating and winding like those girls in a fuji music video. i kept wondering who was going to dig who this night? grin lipsrsealed
Fast forward again to 3months. the wife had packed out of the house and was livng overseas to avoid embarrasments.
The story is they didnt have sex on their honey moon he claimed he was tired. they finally managed to have some sloppy sex after some weeks of pressure from the wife. the guy clearly wasnt into females and dosen't get hard , the wife was so sex starved that she had to leave the marriage .
My point is there is so much that could be wrong in any marriage and you wouldnt know unless the couples really say it out. she probably hasnt said it all and he probably hasnt done same. but one thing these marriages always have in common is A WRONG FOUNDATION

7 Likes

Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Cadamlk: 4:56pm On Jul 24, 2016
snakie86:


God bless you too but[b] i think the marriage is over based on my discussion with the husband some few hours ago.
I[/b] will brief our discussion when i can type proper
Then there is more to their issues than they try to make you and your wife understand. I think you should stare clear for now.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Crystalprince(m): 4:56pm On Jul 24, 2016
This sounds somehow bro.
Re: Two Wasted Months Of Marriage by Anoruo(m): 4:56pm On Jul 24, 2016
jerryfisher:
she is a lesbian

You have a good point

1 Like

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