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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Out In The Snow. (987 Views)
Out In The Snow. by RemenZack(f): 10:26am On Aug 03, 2016 |
Abigail watched Children sing and giggle out in the snow. It was the 23rd of December in America and she wasn't feeling Christmasy at all. Her son, Dike, now Rick was held down in Rehab, for his alcohol and meth addiction. Her daughter, Amara, now Becky had eloped in India with her woman lover. Abigail sipped from her favourite chipped mug, when she saw a butterfly on her window pane and she noticed her bald head again. She was dying. 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by Illuminatus(m): 10:56am On Aug 03, 2016 |
You have an interesting story idea. The first line told me that much. But you need to polish this. It seems jumbled and too consize. Rephrase some sentences and add a couple more and you'll have a better story. 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by RemenZack(f): 11:32am On Aug 03, 2016 |
Illuminatus:I wish I could write more. But a concise story is what I wanted to make. A flash fiction piece. Thanks for reading! |
Re: Out In The Snow. by drippingink3: 10:10am On Aug 04, 2016 |
I'm going to start writing because of you. So start I can starve you with flash fiction. (~_~) 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by Gabrendo(m): 12:43pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
Keep It Comin. I like this genre. 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by drippingink3: 2:55pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
The weather changed. Dark clouds gathered above & a strong wind started blowing, bending trees & scattering dust & dirt everywhere. A chill entered Etete as watched this strange phenomenon, transfixed to the spot, wondering what was the meaning of this. " Jesus!" Etete shouted shrinking away from the being that was standing in front of him into his house. The dust that had gathered as a result of the wind that was blowing made it impossible to see clearly. A white light was shining from were the eye should be and It seemed to be wearing a white garment. " Yes," the being said, light coming out of it's mouth. " I am Jesus. I was, am and is, and will forever be." It was has if a high voltage ran through Etete body. He fell to the ground on his knees & prostrated before Him, closing his eye tightly, his body was not his any more. TickTockTick. Nothing happen, all was silent again. Etete opened his eyes & looked up only to see the boy that was preaching to him looking down at him strangely. 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by RemenZack(f): 3:19pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
drippingink3:Please do. Let's get into a duel. |
Re: Out In The Snow. by RemenZack(f): 3:20pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
Gabrendo:Thanks for reading. Come again. |
Re: Out In The Snow. by drippingink3: 3:23pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
RemenZack:I just a learner. 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by Babacele: 4:32pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
RemenZack:duet abi duel? |
Re: Out In The Snow. by drippingink3: 4:42pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
Babacele:A Duel. |
Re: Out In The Snow. by drippingink3: 4:46pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
I think I will take up the challenge. But Please RemenZack I still a learner so you have to be easy with me and make correct were needed. |
Re: Out In The Snow. by Babacele: 4:57pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
drippingink3:you can make it both a duel n a duet . lols. 1 Like |
Re: Out In The Snow. by drippingink3: 5:17pm On Aug 04, 2016 |
RemenZack:so how are we doing this. |
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