Pls most of the language are different from the typical English

So after today's psychology exam
Me and my padi(friend) were just discussing o then we noticed one of our nigga was just so sobbed so as good friends we walked up to him and asked
Guy what is the matter
he said
Abeg make una leave me jare so my other guy left him, as a good padi I sat him down and asked him guy how far
Omo the guy just burst cry o, me come dey fear I was like abeg hope nobody die, he said no then what
(Na then peter drop bomb o)
Esther just dumped me
Omo I burst laugh, could not stopped myself
Peter got up and went off, I ran after him
Guy no vex watin happen na
Bros nothing o just because I was unable to get her the laptop
That was how he started his story
Just because i was unable to get her the laptop I promised o
Yesterday she called me and said she don't think she will be able to continue the relationship
I was shock and I asked what were her reason
But she was unable to give me a soundable reply
but bros I don show this girl love in all ways this is our 5th year together, bros 5 good years, 5
Bros do you believe I never pop this girl up till now
Many times she will say peter let just do it but just because she was not that ready I told her not yet
Continue.....

http://eosa1..com/2016/08/peters-story-heart-break.html

Efulefu