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Dear Wife:

I'm writing to tell you I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S don 't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving to West Virginia together! Have a great life! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Ex-Husband:

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant hining & griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million $$$, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer says the letter you wrote guarantees you won't get a dime from me, so take care.

Your Ex-Wife, rich as hell & FREE!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem,

a

I wonder hw u 2 got married in d first place

Nice one