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Please I Need Advise!!! by sweetheart12: 5:00pm On Sep 14, 2016
My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO

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Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by SlowlybtSurely: 5:03pm On Sep 14, 2016
I like that your boyfriend!

My kinda man.

23 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by ammyluv2002(f): 5:10pm On Sep 14, 2016
Nne, "undream" them! If he doesn't want a big wedding then flow with it. Do you love him? If yes, please let it go. Love is all about compromise & understanding, letting go of some of the things you love to come to an agreement.

You can let go of this one and insist on an elaborate naming ceremony, child dedication or even wedding anniversary & by the time he will insist on low key again then you can stand your ground at least he should be the one to let go this time.

Pele dear! I know it's painful, but isn't love all about sacrifices? If i were you, i won't let this bother me

13 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by sinaj(f): 5:10pm On Sep 14, 2016
He is prolly a shy person tongue

I understand u might have fantasized abt ur wedding nd talked abt it with ur frnds.


You just have to forget it, what matters is ur marriage nt d ceremony smiley

6 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by okirewaju(f): 5:11pm On Sep 14, 2016
Do you love him enough to spend the rest of your life with him should be your major concern and not how the ceremony looks like.



One of you have to step back for the other in this decision.

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by tellwisdom: 5:14pm On Sep 14, 2016
The only recognised African wedding is the traditional. Deal with it sad

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by agarawu23(m): 5:27pm On Sep 14, 2016
sweetheart12:

My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO

Once in a life time my foot.
Must u show off?
Must u copy other people?
Where is it written in your Bible/Qur'an that you must shout your wedding and do all the bla bla ceremony?
Are you a material lady?
Do you want a happy marriage or mouth watering wedding that wont last a year.?
How old are you?
Do you want to remain at home ?


Traditional wedding is the main thing and u guys can go to court if u wish.

Stop following the 'public', go with the guy cos he is the one in charge.

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Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Richy4(m): 5:48pm On Sep 14, 2016
Which one is parlour traditional wedding... never heard of that before... Or are you talking about introduction?
Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Acidosis(m): 6:01pm On Sep 14, 2016
I share the same belief system on weddings with your boyfriend.

Show off is okay, after all na you get your money but please respect your boyfriend's wish. Na man dey marry woman, not the other way...

It is not always about the money, some people hate noise and unnecessary attention. I'm very sure if you had dated a man like Mark (Facebook), you would love to shut down the whole Federal Capital Territory in the name of wedding and attention.


Na una type dey love to LOOK rich, rather than be RICH.

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by thorpido(m): 6:11pm On Sep 14, 2016
I'm afraid your hubby is the one that has to compromise here.The wedding involves families and you're not just the one having an occasion,they are too.It doesn't have to be a loud wedding but it'll surely involve families and friends.
I guess he's shy and probably an introvert.It's once in a lifetime(hopefully) so he should deal with it.If he's thinking of evil people,he should take charge through prayers.

7 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by uairaland: 7:41am On Sep 15, 2016
Just Look at that...

here is a woman who is supposed to love and stand by her husband and also reason with him. None of that, all she WANTS is a BIG WEDDING CEREMONY so she can update her facebook and BBM and whatsapp and twitter and instagram and opress her friends.

I saw her writing about how she LOVES big weddings and how she has always dreamed of big weddings. but there was no where in this whole super story did she talk about how much she loves her boyfriend or how he is her dream man. Perhaps she doesn't love him that much & maybe he is not her dream man and all she WANTS is a big wedding.

Please don't marry him ifhe does not give youa big wedding and call Tuface to come and sing African Queen for you.

9 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by diportivo: 11:24am On Sep 15, 2016
uairaland:
Just Look at that...

here is a woman who is supposed to love and stand by her husband and also reason with him. None of that, all she WANTS is a BIG WEDDING CEREMONY so she can update her facebook and BBM and whatsapp and twitter and instagram and opress her friends.

I saw her writing about how she LOVES big weddings and how she has always dreamed of big weddings. but there was no where in this whole super story did she talk about how much she loves her boyfriend or how he is her dream man. Perhaps she doesn't love him that much & maybe he is not her dream man and all she WANTS is a big wedding.

Please don't marry him ifhe does not give youa big wedding and call Tuface to come and sing African Queen for you.

You hit the nail on the head with sledge hammer bros grin

Ladies like this full town....... angry

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Berbierklaus(f): 11:42am On Sep 15, 2016
sweetheart12:

My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO
Please send that your boyfriend my way,he is my kind of man wink

7 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Dyt(f): 11:50am On Sep 15, 2016
Why do I see pickabeau1 shaking his head?
cheesy
Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Nobody: 11:51am On Sep 15, 2016
sweetheart12:

My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO

Trust me, big weddings are over-rated, and in this economy, completely unnecessary.

I think you should listen to him.

5 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by pickabeau1: 11:53am On Sep 15, 2016
Dyt:
Why do I see pickabea1 shaking his head?
cheesy

Actually I am

You have a husband.. he is willing
All I see is whining about wedding day

in this economy?

My advise:

Do the traditional
Have a church blessing (you can wear gown)

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Victorakats(m): 6:06pm On Sep 15, 2016
sweetheart12:

My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO

If your family wish to sponsor the wedding and everything, please encourage your partner not to worry about anything so that your family will give you the most amazing wedding ceremony.

But if your partner is the one to foot the bills, please respect his decision and prepare yourself for marriage.
The money some individuals spend on wedding can actually provide for their needs or they can even invest it for their children.

Be marriage conscious and not wedding conscious!!!

Read more about marriage, sex and dating @ www.amaraofficial.com

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Nobody: 6:25pm On Sep 15, 2016
Maybe he dsnt want his real wife to hear about it

4 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by ubiR(f): 6:46pm On Sep 15, 2016
sweetheart12:

My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO
He is a wise man, hubby and I did same. My dear forget elaborate wedding, marriage is what matters not one day celebration. if u won't accept allow him marry one who will if not u won't let him rest through the marriage. U will keep reminding him of how he deprived u d joy of wedding. Be wise.

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by sisisioge: 6:54pm On Sep 15, 2016
Hmmm, different strokes!

I want what your bf want sweetheart, it is the easiest jare. I would just use money for decorations to uplift my family house or rent a small garden. I want cosy and intimate affair. However, I once seriously dated a guy who says he won't 'hide' to marry me. He wants to go the whole nine yards! Whew, I wouldn't have liked a wedding like that...I want to it so small that I could make eye contacts with all the guests!

See if the two of you could meet in the middle, after all it is as much your wedding as it is his. Good luck.

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Artistree: 8:15pm On Sep 15, 2016
Hmmm...if I knew then what I know now.
Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Ishilove: 12:12am On Sep 16, 2016
Your boyfriend is a wise person. An elaborate wedding doesn't guarantee a successful marriage, case in point the 1980 wedding of Prince Charles and Diana. Over 1 billion people tuned in to watch the wedding ceremony, Lady Di wore a gown that cost the budget of a small country, world leaders attended etc

Today where are they? Charles is with Camilla and Di is 6ft under. The marriage had already broken down before she died sef.

My point is this: if your man wants a small wedding then compromise. Forget all these 'once in lifetime event so it must be elaborate' nonsense. Wedding and marriage are very different, and you should focus on the forever after, not one day owambe.

Let me also add that God steps into a marriage the day brideprice is paid, the rest are just ceremony. Anyone who says God recognises only church wedding is dwelling in ignorance.

You can only imagine my shock the day my mum told me that in our hometown, once a woman's brideprice is paid she moves in with her husband. The wedding day is the day brideprice is paid and other traditional rites are performed. No elaborate ceremony or unnecessary noise making.

She says it is when she came to Lagos that she heard of 'traditional wedding and church wedding'.

My pastor always sounds it in our ears to get married traditionally and in court (to protect the woman legally). Leave church wedding because all that is just NOISE.

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Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by An0nimus: 1:45am On Sep 16, 2016
Show your boyfriend this pic

6 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by avril9(f): 6:38am On Sep 16, 2016
What is it wit women and big weddings does dat guarantee a successful marriage? Is either he was warned(from d spiritual angle),or he is afraid cos he thinks some tin cud go wrong if its dat big,or he cud b married else where n wudnt want word to get out to d other woman or he is just not into all that stress n noise. Do ur own findings n if he is clean go ahead n just marry before we begin to tell the stories that touch.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Nobody: 7:32am On Sep 16, 2016
Berbierklaus:

Please send that your boyfriend my way,he is my kind of man wink

Then com to me u r my kind of lady!
Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by PresVA: 9:12am On Sep 16, 2016
Why is everyone saying "big weddings don't guarantee successful marriage"? So do small weddings guarantee successful marriage? undecided undecided ..whether big or small wedding, what matters is that the two persons involved genuinely love each other...

What's parlour traditional marriage? I wouldn't want that too. . Not even a small wedding kinda but parlour wedding? That means everything will be done in a small room or what? Because he doesn't want to show off? Who says celebrating love means showing off? Wish me and my husband can be celebrating our anniversary yearly kiss kiss .
The main thing is not spending beyond your means and from what you wrote money isn't even the problem. .so?

Sorry, your fiance should consider your feelings too.. BOTH of you are involved in this, not just him ... Both of you should reach a peaceful agreement where they'll be mutual happiness/satisfaction..

However, in as much as I wouldn't want a "parlour wedding" , I wouldn't let the issue come between me and my partner especially if he's a good man...
I wish you the best Op..

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by whitecloth: 9:53am On Sep 16, 2016
Ishilove:
Your boyfriend is a wise person. An elaborate wedding doesn't guarantee a successfully marriage, case in point the 1980 wedding of Prince Charles and Diana. Over 1 billion people tuned in to watch the wedding ceremony, Lady Di wore a gown that cost the budget of a small country, world leaders attended etc

Today where are they? Charles is with Camilla and Di is 6ft under.

My point is this: if your man wants a small wedding then compromises. Forget all these 'once in lifetime event so it must be elaborate' nonsense. Wedding and marriage are very different, and you should focus on the forever after, not one day owambe.

In addition, God steps into a marriage the day brideprice is paid, the rest are just ceremony. In short,you can imagine my shock the day my mum told me that in our hometown, once a woman's brideprice is paid she moves in with her husband. The wedding day is the day brideprice is paid and other traditional rites are performed. No elaborate ceremony of unnecessary noise making.

She says it is when she came to Lagos that she heard of 'traditional wedding and church wedding'.

My pastor always sounds it in our ears to get married traditionally and in court (to protect the woman legally). Leave church wedding because all that is just NOISE.
Am wowed by your wisdom.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Solidkay(m): 2:17pm On Sep 16, 2016
The skeleton in that guy cupboard still get meat for body, but other news, if he doesn't want an elaborate wedding so be it.

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by justwise(m): 6:26pm On Sep 16, 2016
Ishilove:
Your boyfriend is a wise person. An elaborate wedding doesn't guarantee a successfully marriage, case in point the 1980 wedding of Prince Charles and Diana. Over 1 billion people tuned in to watch the wedding ceremony, Lady Di wore a gown that cost the budget of a small country, world leaders attended etc

Today where are they? Charles is with Camilla and Di is 6ft under.

My point is this: if your man wants a small wedding then compromises. Forget all these 'once in lifetime event so it must be elaborate' nonsense. Wedding and marriage are very different, and you should focus on the forever after, not one day owambe.

In addition, God steps into a marriage the day brideprice is paid, the rest are just ceremony. In short,you can imagine my shock the day my mum told me that in our hometown, once a woman's brideprice is paid she moves in with her husband. The wedding day is the day brideprice is paid and other traditional rites are performed. No elaborate ceremony of unnecessary noise making.

She says it is when she came to Lagos that she heard of 'traditional wedding and church wedding'.

My pastor always sounds it in our ears to get married traditionally and in court (to protect the woman legally). Leave church wedding because all that is just NOISE.
you dey go church? grin not to protect woman legally..na to make sure d man die before the woman
Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by steppin: 6:47pm On Sep 16, 2016
sweetheart12:

My boyfriend wants us to marry but he does not want a big wedding.
i asked him if it is because of the money involve but he said no, he is ready to give my family the money cash than do the wedding.
He insist we do a parlor traditional marriage, which my family will not accept and i do not want, he does not mind paying any amount for the bride price but he insist he does not want a big,noisy marriage. his family support a big wedding but he doesn't, and i have so much love for weddings, i have always dreamed of how my wedding day will look like,i just so loved weddings since its once in a life time stuff but my boyfriend condemns it and say he hate big weddings cos its like he is showing off, he says he is scared about the guest as he doesn't no who has evil mind or not. Right now he wants us to do only the registry, introduction and traditional marriage only. i am confuse here please. I NEED GOOD ADVISE.....WHAT SHOULD I DO
Tiwa Savage married in Dubai, where is she today? Alone in South Africa, putting on show bobi. If you pressure the man to do something he doesn't want to do, it may not end up well in the future.
The essential things in marriage are commitment, communication, honesty and financial security.
If you have all these, why worry your pretty little over a lavish wedding that won't last for more than six hours?
There are so many women going from church to church, babalawo to fake pastors, looking for a man to call a husband.
You have someone who has all it takes and your only problem is his refusal to do a big wedding?
Nnaa, nawa o!

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by steppin: 6:57pm On Sep 16, 2016
Solidkay:
The skeleton in that guy cupboard still get meat for body, but other news,
if he doesn't want an elaborate wedding so be it.
The guy might be hiding from an aggrieved ex and he doesn't want wahala on his wedding day.
The lady won't understand what some guys go through with their ex before they marry. Some of these women can go to any length to see that the wedding is stopped.
It might be the reason or it may not.

3 Likes

Re: Please I Need Advise!!! by Solidkay(m): 7:10pm On Sep 16, 2016
steppin:

The guy might be hiding from an aggrieved ex and he doesn't want wahala on his wedding day.
The lady won't understand what some guys go through with their ex before they marry. Some of these women can go to any length to see that the wedding is stopped.
It might be the reason or it may not.
My point exactly.
God bless u my brother,d ocean if ur understanding will never run dry.

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