Caring for a difficult loved one is especially challenging. While often rewarding, being caregiver for anyone can be taxing, as the role comes with a seemingly endless list of responsibilities. But when a loved one is hard to get along with, uncooperative or even antagonistic, the challenges of looking after them are only compounded. The situation can quickly take a toll emotionally, physically and mentally. If you’re caring for a difficult loved one, here are some ways to cope.

Try Different Activities to Avoid Conflict

If your loved one is particularly difficult during certain activities, explore other things you might do with them. For instance, if they often start arguing when you sit down together, try playing a game instead of just talking. Gardening, shopping or taking a walk outside may all alleviate some tension and remove you both from whatever you were arguing about.

Recognize Your Achievements

While you should accept praise when it’s offered, don’t expect to receive accolades for your efforts. It’s an unfortunate truth that caregivers are often underappreciated, and you may not get any recognition from your loved one if they have a difficult personality. Meanwhile, others in your life may not be aware of all that you do.
Instead of looking to others for encouragement, become your own cheerleader. Take a few moments each day to reflect on all you’ve done. If you have an especially big achievement to celebrate, treat yourself to a latte, massage or meal out.

Learn to Say No

No one person can do everything. Learn to acknowledge when you’re stretched beyond your limits, and have the courage to say no when you’re overwhelmed. Saying no to requests for help is often difficult, but it’s better to politely refuse requests that are asking too much than to burn yourself out.
Saying no may mean declining requests from your loved one or others, but it can also mean saying no to yourself. Even when a loved one is being difficult, there’s often a strong urge to do more for them. Do what you can, but remember not to neglect your own well being.

Lighten Your Load

Saying no doesn’t mean you have to leave your loved one in a lurch. You can reach out for help from others, be they family members, friends or professional caregivers. All of these people may be able to help you lighten your load, and you may be able to have them assist with some of the specific challenges your loved one creates.

Know When Enough is Enough

You may reach a point where it’s all too much. If you’re unable to help your loved one enough, or if it’s too much for you to do so, it may be time to consider long-term care options such as help from an in-home caregiver or an assisted living facility. Assisted living communities have trained staff to care for your loved one — no matter how difficult he or she may be. Oftentimes, assisted living offers the opportunity for residents to connect with other folks around their age. These relationships may ease the tension in your loved one’s life and make caring for them a little easier.

Caring for a difficult loved one isn’t something you should take on alone. Take care of yourself, and seek help when you need it. That way you’ll be in a better position to make sure your loved one gets the care they need.

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