Hello guys the thought of my ex keep coming back and whenever I remember my friends words "Guy you no try" I always thought perhaps I could have salvaged the relationship back then.

About two years ago I met the love of my life. She was beautiful and classy. I fell in love with her intelligence. God she was so brilliant that every moment we spent together I always learn something new. Conversation was never ending and she wasn't too demanding. When we hanged out on several dates she was always modest with her demands and sometimes when the bill was high she would offer to foot part of it. I had an amazing relationship God knows. I was always happy to meet her and she was always eager to meet me.

Problem started when she said I shouldn't consume alcohol that it was not good for Christians and I told her my denomination approves of it as long as you drink responsibly. Then I always tell her that " relationship is not by force that if at any point you begin to feel uncomfortable feel free to speak up...I do not support the idea of you being in a relationship just to please me or because you think breaking up will make me feel bad".

I always pass the message across to her often. Later I discovered our communication level was reducing gradually although she still talks about my consumption of alcohol and I told her I have started drinking since I was 12. Though I was willing to give it up at some point yet I was struggling. She had issues with my church too (orthodox). At some point she told we she wanted us to talk...

She told me how she couldn't sleep at night always thinking about the relationship how she often get scared about the outcome. Then I told her being in a relationship was supposed to make her happy and...if she felt uncomfortable with the relationship she could actually quit. She couldn't say anything and she busted into tears I couldn't understand then I asked her if quitting will make her happier....then she murmured that she can't sleep that she is always thinking...so many sleepless nights that we should end it. At that point I ordered a bottle of beer to calm myself just then she said "that is what am talking about"...I tried not to cry and I held it for so long when I couldn't hold it anymore I told her "If quitting will make you happier so be it" when I told my friends they all said I didn't handle it properly and my philosophy was wrong. Sometimes I still try to figure out where I got it wrong....she was indeed love of my life...and the 2years was more like infinity...wooowww...

U have anger ishhh

is drinking her reason of quitting or your church I don't understand... drinking can't make a lady quit there's more to it

u did d rite tin man
she has 4goten d rule DAT says Neva ever try to change a man
if any lady no fit tolerate my habits na to show her d door remain

You did the right thing. People may not understand but what makes both of you happy individually matters a lot.
Given her that choice is the best you can do for her, she might hurt now but eventually she would see the good in what you did

You fvcked up you two should av talked 1st and attempt at making compromises. Maybe reduce ur drinking and go to church and she gets off ur back

INTROVERT:
U have anger ishhh

really you don't say...how did you come about that?

ishiamu:
hmmm

awwww say something

Fidelismaria:


u did d rite tin man

she has 4goten d rule DAT says Neva ever try to change a man

if any lady no fit tolerate my habits na to show her d door remain

so you can't change a particular habit for you to get the love of your life?

eemalex:
You did the right thing. People may not understand but what makes both of you happy individually matters a lot.
Given her that choice is the best you can do for her, she might hurt now but eventually she would see the good in what you did

my frnds felt that I should have showed her more love at that point and not offer her a choice of quitting or staying

Section8:
You fvcked up you two should av talked 1st and attempt at making compromises. Maybe reduce ur drinking and go to church and she gets off ur back

Maybe Bro Maybe...I have not had another relationship since then...wow

CuteMorriz:
so you can't change a particular habit for you to get the love of your life?

and y can't d love of my life accept me as I am?

.

Look here op, pay no attention to all these small small boys beating their chests saying you did right. You didn't do right and a part of you knows it too.

There is nothing wrong if your babe complains that you drink too much, it only shows that she cares about you and is only looking out for your best interests. I can't blame you for liking alcohol so much, I used to drink like a fish in my younger days but at some point I had to quit by myself because it was having a negative effect on my health and truly, there is nothing special about alcohol. It's just youthful exuberance that's doing you, that's all.

Where you erred is constantly threatening her to end the relationship if she's fed up. In fact, you left her no choice. You don't sh.it gold, why threaten her to quit if she's tired? Who the hell do you think you are?

Na small Pikin bin dey worry you bro, I understand. That need to be macho even when it's unnecessary. Now, swallow your pride, pick up your phone and call her. You never know what could happen bro...

Not to beg o, just talk to her.

Bro.... her concern was you were on your way to being an alcoholic. Drinking from the age 12....it seems that you had already become an alcoholic. You could've told her you needed help to kick the habit...but how can your ego allow you to? Instead you sent er a strong message..... "I am not ready to stop drinking...deal with it..or feel free to move on." I am almost sure you are now drinking even more.... a ehmmm.... full blown alcoholic. Don't even think about rekindling the relationship if you are still drinking period. Work on yourself first....hard and long.

OP you need a fat jumbo. why do you still have her number?

waywardpikin:
Look here op, pay no attention to all these small small boys beating their chests saying you did right. You didn't do right and a part of you knows it too.

There is nothing wrong if your babe complains that you drink too much, it only shows that she cares about you and is only looking out for your best interests. I can't blame you for liking alcohol so much, I used to drink like a fish in my younger days but at some point I had to quit by myself because it was having a negative effect on my health and truly, there is nothing special about alcohol. It's just youthful exuberance that's doing you, that's all.

Where you erred is constantly threatening her to end the relationship if she's fed up. In fact, you left her no choice. You don't sh.it gold, why threaten her to quit if she's tired? Who the hell do you think you are?

Na small Pikin bin dey worry you bro, I understand. That need to be macho even when it's unnecessary. Now, swallow your pride, pick up your phone and call her. You never know what could happen bro...

Not to beg o, just talk to her.

I haven not spoken with her in 2years...where do I start from...?....she can never be single...thanks man...

If after 2 years, you think about her that way you should try and initiate contact.

When cupid releases it's arrow we never know where it will land.

Can you reduce your alcohol intake, note I didn't say stop. That decision is yours. However, the red flag I see right now is the church issue.

I have seen many ladies...yes ladies lose the love of their lives over 'he goes to the wrong church'
Who are we to judge a church...we ate not God.

Contact her, she might also be thinking of you. Don't leave it too late

Originalsly:
Bro.... her concern was you were on your way to being an alcoholic. Drinking from the age 12....it seems that you had already become an alcoholic. You could've told her you needed help to kick the habit...but how can your ego allow you to? Instead you sent er a strong message..... "I am not ready to stop drinking...deal with it..or feel free to move on." I am almost sure you are now drinking even more.... a ehmmm.... full blown alcoholic. Don't even think about rekindling the relationship if you are still drinking period. Work on yourself first....hard and long.

I drink socially and responsibly. I know I can't get her back...but the thoughts though

Lleigh:
If after 2 years, you think about her that way you should try and initiate contact.

When cupid releases it's arrow we never know where it will land.

Can you reduce your alcohol intake, note I didn't say stop. That decision is yours. However, the red flag I see right now is the church issue.

I have seen many ladies...yes ladies lose the love of their lives over 'he goes to the wrong church'
Who are we to judge a church...we ate not God.

Contact her, she might also be thinking of you. Don't leave it too late

awwww...contacting her will be one of my greatest achievement this year but what if she is taken...it will be more disastrous. Yeah the church ish didn't help at all...you 're right about. Perhaps I will just wait and wish her merry xmas or happy new yr...so that it won't look like am initiating a come back...even though I want to

CuteMorriz:
I haven not spoken with her in 2years...where do I start from...?....she can never be single...thanks man...

You never know until you try. Just say you did sim backup that's how you were able to retrieve your contacts, and that you just wanted to check up on her. Sound happy and light hearted. From your conversation with her you will know if she's single or not. It's possible she also thinks about you a lot. You might even call her and discover that you're over the whole thing, that maybe all you needed was closure.

Call her.

waywardpikin:


You never know until you try. Just say you did sim backup that's how you were able to retrieve your contacts, and that you just wanted to check up on her. Sound happy and light hearted. From your conversation with her you will know if she's single or not. It's possible she also thinks about you a lot. You might even call her and discover that you're over the hell thing, that maybe all you needed was closure.

Call her.

Perhaps during Christmas I will...so that she won't suspect a thing...

CuteMorriz:
awwww say something

modified*

CuteMorriz:
I drink socially and responsibly. I know I can't get her back...but the thoughts though

So you know you can't get her back? The fact that she been begging you so long to drop the habit.... and quit maybe because you ' put the gun to her head' ... shows that she truly loved you. Tough talking you have not moved on..... so why are you so sure she has?...how are you so sure she is not waiting for the day when you get your act together and will come calling/crawling? Why shut the door on yourself? Bro... cut the social drinking and responsible drinking crap... the cause of your heartache in the first place. What is there for you to gain by hanging on to the rum wagon?....what is there to gain should you get off? Your heart is not right your life can never run smooth. Attend to the heart.

Originalsly:
So you know you can't get her back? The fact that she been begging you so long to drop the habit.... and quit maybe because you ' put the gun to her head' ... shows that she truly loved you. Tough talking you have not moved on..... so why are you so sure she has?...how are you so sure she is not waiting for the day when you get your act together and will come calling/crawling? Why shut the door on yourself? Bro... cut the social drinking and responsible drinking crap... the cause of your heartache in the first place. What is there for you to gain by hanging on to the rum wagon?....what is there to gain should you get off? Your heart is not right your life can never run smooth. Attend to the heart.

She is too good to be single...I may call during xmas...thanks...

CuteMorriz:
my frnds felt that I should have showed her more love at that point and not offer her a choice of quitting or staying

Not everyone see love the same way though.... But I would say do what makes you happy

CuteMorriz:
She is too good to be single...I may call during xmas...thanks...

Lol... you're a funny guy....zero confidence... zero hope!

CuteMorriz:
She is too good to be single...I may call during xmas...thanks...

Lol... you're a funny guy....zero confidence... zero hope! Xmas time you call.... she answers ...all excited...after appetizers you dive into the main course and ask.... are you in a relationship?...she answers...no... never since we broke up.... she asks... are you?... same reply... then you excitedly follow up... do you think we can try to pick up the pieces?...she replies ... most definitely...then she asks the million naira dollar question.... did you give up drinking?.......social and responsible drinking?...hello??...hello??...can you hear me??...hmmm.... network?..I don't think so. Click.