I'm a teanage writter that has written bunch of books,that needs editting,and comments from co,writters and non writters.sugestion on how it shud be and how it shouldn't b,wel wen it comes to writting i wouldn't say i'm curious,bt just a guy wit bunch of ideas wanting to know more.hmmn just hope to hear your comments.here are the fist two chapters of the book.tittled:
ADORA
(THE MYSTERY CHILD)enjoy it,

It was in the middle of the night,pa Agidi heard a very loud noise he woke up immediately,he listened carefully to hear the voice come again but he was dissappointed because he taught to himself maybe he had heard it in his own sleep,at second thought it might be a terrible nightmare,he immediately went back to sleep.not quiet long the loud voice came like the roar of a lion in pains,once again pa Agidi almost jumped out of his own body like a snake pulling out of his own shell.he thought once more,"what on earth could be making that loud noise,,he rose from his bed wanted to open the door of his small hut,only to come to a hault.and changed his mind,and went back to sleep.
Few minutes later,same noise was heard again,but this time,pa Agidi did not hesitate to open his door to trace the noise.
Pa Agidi is a tall man,dark in complexion,with a muscular body,a very good huter.who was known to have killed an elephant from the forest,carried the elephant and brought it to the village.since then pa Agidi has lived to earn the respect of the young and old people of umuclan.with handsomeness,Pa Agidi was able to win the heart of many young girls of the clan.chinyeye was of the them,that was enticised by Agidi's handsomeness.chinyeye was one of the most charming and beautiful young girls of the clan, she was tall and fair in complexion,with a dark curling hair,her face smooth and always bright as the morning sky,based on her beauty she was been reffered to as the silky gazalle by her friends,she was in her late thirties and pa Agidi was ten years older than her.their love grew old and eventually got married.it was her voice that was almost sounding like the roar ofa lion.immediately Agidi rushed out like a rabbit that is been persue by a snake from its hole.he rushed out saying "chinye,chinye,chinye,bi ko my darlimg! Was the matter,my beloved wife please answer me,it is the baby answered chinyeye,i guess is timd, i guess is time repeatedly,as she moan,groan in pains and agony.before now,chineye was living in a separate hut according to the laws and customs of the clan,NO pregnant woman is allowed to stay in same roof with a man,for it is regarded as impure and unholy.chineye was not an exemption,so Agidi been a rich and properous hunter,he built his wife anotheq hut untill her safe delivery.immediately,pa Agidi took on his heels like a cheetah that is pursueing its prey,he went to pa dicksons house.
On getting there he pounced on the door like a lion that has just pounced on his prey.the only words that could come out of his mouth was "my w-i-f-e is about to make her delivering, immediately fell on the ground,for he has ran a marathon race.with just a blink of an eye pa dickson made it known to his wife Ngozi,and ageimg woman, a wrinkled face,in her late 70ties,with experience of child delivery.Ngozi and some group of women were been called,midwives by the people of the clan,Ngozi at once alerted the other women and they set for Pa agidi's compound.no sooner they arrived at the compound,they were accomplianed by pa Agidi and pa dickson.Agidi at once show them the hut chineye was undergoing her child labour.they went inside,a woman came outside and requested for water and other items needed for child's birth, Agidi rushed to his hut and brought the necessary items needed for child's birth.Pa Agidi could be seen woundering about like a hyena,feeling restless,filled with anxiety and fear,not quiet long,a cry of a baby was heard in the next hut where chineye was making her delivering,there was enormous joy and excitment in his heart and pa Dickson that was with him at that moment.pa Agidi unable to hid his joy,continued,crying tears of joy.and was experting to hear from the midwives,whether a male or a female.
A minute later,a woman came out of the hut to deliver the good news, she said"unaee,is a bouncing baby girl.immediately Pa Agidi jumped up and started shouting,a shout that woke people from far and near to come and celebrate with him, for his wife has delivered of a baby,neighbours who heard the shout, came out and celebrated with him,for it was a memorable night,to Agidi and the people that was present for they have never witnessed a night like that in their lives,for it was a night that appeared to be an eclipse.
It was exactlx 8days since the baby was born,according to the tradition of umuclan,when a baby is delivered it is on the 8thday after delivery such a baby would be given a name.on the 8thday which happens to fall on eke market day,pa Agidi invited all elders in his kindred and people of the clan,to come to his house to celebrate with him on the naming ceremony of his new born baby.
Agidi's compound is a large one,with a beautiful huts in it,goats,fowls,pigs and other domestic animals could be seen strolling in the compound.no sooner the compound was filled with people from far and near,wanting to celebrate with pa Agidi.(to be continued for there is no space left)

It was in the middle of the night,pa Agidi heard a very loud noise he woke up immediately,he listened carefully to hear the voice come again but he was dissappointed because he taught to himself maybe he had heard it in his own sleep,at second thought it might be a terrible nightmare,he immediately went back to sleep.not quiet long the loud voice came like the roar of a lion in pains,once again pa Agidi almost jumped out of his own body like a snake pulling out of his own shell.he thought once more,"what on earth could be making that loud noise,,he rose from his bed wanted to open the door of his small hut,only to come to a hault.and changed his mind,and went back to sleep.
Few minutes later,same noise was heard again,but this time,pa Agidi did not hesitate to open his door to trace the noise.
Pa Agidi is a tall man,dark in complexion,with a muscular body,a very good huter.who was known to have killed an elephant from the forest,carried the elephant and brought it to the village.since then pa Agidi has lived to earn the respect of the young and old people of umuclan.with handsomeness,Pa Agidi was able to win the heart of many young girls of the clan.chinyeye was of the them,that was enticised by Agidi's handsomeness.chinyeye was one of the most charming and beautiful young girls of the clan, she was tall and fair in complexion,with a dark curling hair,her face smooth and always bright as the morning sky,based on her beauty she was been reffered to as the silky gazalle by her friends,she was in her late thirties and pa Agidi was ten years older than her.their love grew old and eventually got married.it was her voice that was almost sounding like the roar ofa lion.immediately Agidi rushed out like a rabbit that is been persue by a snake from its hole.he rushed out saying "chinye,chinye,chinye,bi ko my darlimg! Was the matter,my beloved wife please answer me,it is the baby answered chinyeye,i guess is timd, i guess is time repeatedly,as she moan,groan in pains and agony.before now,chineye was living in a separate hut according to the laws and customs of the clan,NO pregnant woman is allowed to stay in same roof with a man,for it is regarded as impure and unholy.chineye was not an exemption,so Agidi been a rich and properous hunter,he built his wife anotheq hut untill her safe delivery.immediately,pa Agidi took on his heels like a cheetah that is pursueing its prey,he went to pa dicksons house.
On getting there he pounced on the door like a lion that has just pounced on his prey.the only words that could come out of his mouth was "my w-i-f-e is about to make her delivering, immediately fell on the ground,for he has ran a marathon race.with just a blink of an eye pa dickson made it known to his wife Ngozi,and ageimg woman, a wrinkled face,in her late 70ties,with experience of child delivery.Ngozi and some group of women were been called,midwives by the people of the clan,Ngozi at once alerted the other women and they set for Pa agidi's compound.no sooner they arrived at the compound,they were accomplianed by pa Agidi and pa dickson.Agidi at once show them the hut chineye was undergoing her child labour.they went inside,a woman came outside and requested for water and other items needed for child's birth, Agidi rushed to his hut and brought the necessary items needed for child's birth.Pa Agidi could be seen woundering about like a hyena,feeling restless,filled with anxiety and fear,not quiet long,a cry of a baby was heard in the next hut where chineye was making her delivering,there was enormous joy and excitment in his heart and pa Dickson that was with him at that moment.pa Agidi unable to hid his joy,continued,crying tears of joy.and was experting to hear from the midwives,whether a male or a female.
A minute later,a woman came out of the hut to deliver the good news, she said"unaee,is a bouncing baby girl.immediately Pa Agidi jumped up and started shouting,a shout that woke people from far and near to come and celebrate with him, for his wife has delivered of a baby,neighbours who heard the shout, came out and celebrated with him,for it was a memorable night,to Agidi and the people that was present for they have never witnessed a night like that in their lives,for it was a night that appeared to be an eclipse.
It was exactlx 8days since the baby was born,according to the tradition of umuclan,when a baby is delivered it is on the 8thday after delivery such a baby would be given a name.on the 8thday which happens to fall on eke market day,pa Agidi invited all elders in his kindred and people of the clan,to come to his house to celebrate with him on the naming ceremony of his new born baby.
Agidi's compound is a large one,with a beautiful huts in it,goats,fowls,pigs and other domestic animals could be seen strolling in the compound.no sooner the compound was filled with people from far and near,wanting to celebrate with pa Agidi.(to be continued for there is no space left)

It was in the middle of the night,pa Agidi heard a very loud noise he woke up immediately,he listened carefully to hear the voice come again but he was dissappointed because he taught to himself maybe he had heard it in his own sleep,at second thought it might be a terrible nightmare,he immediately went back to sleep.not quiet long the loud voice came like the roar of a lion in pains,once again pa Agidi almost jumped out of his own body like a snake pulling out of his own shell.he thought once more,"what on earth could be making that loud noise,,he rose from his bed wanted to open the door of his small hut,only to come to a hault.and changed his mind,and went back to sleep.
Few minutes later,same noise was heard again,but this time,pa Agidi did not hesitate to open his door to trace the noise.
Pa Agidi is a tall man,dark in complexion,with a muscular body,a very good huter.who was known to have killed an elephant from the forest,carried the elephant and brought it to the village.since then pa Agidi has lived to earn the respect of the young and old people of umuclan.with handsomeness,Pa Agidi was able to win the heart of many young girls of the clan.chinyeye was of the them,that was enticised by Agidi's handsomeness.chinyeye was one of the most charming and beautiful young girls of the clan, she was tall and fair in complexion,with a dark curling hair,her face smooth and always bright as the morning sky,based on her beauty she was been reffered to as the silky gazalle by her friends,she was in her late thirties and pa Agidi was ten years older than her.their love grew old and eventually got married.it was her voice that was almost sounding like the roar ofa lion.immediately Agidi rushed out like a rabbit that is been persue by a snake from its hole.he rushed out saying "chinye,chinye,chinye,bi ko my darlimg! Was the matter,my beloved wife please answer me,it is the baby answered chinyeye,i guess is timd, i guess is time repeatedly,as she moan,groan in pains and agony.before now,chineye was living in a separate hut according to the laws and customs of the clan,NO pregnant woman is allowed to stay in same roof with a man,for it is regarded as impure and unholy.chineye was not an exemption,so Agidi been a rich and properous hunter,he built his wife anotheq hut untill her safe delivery.immediately,pa Agidi took on his heels like a cheetah that is pursueing its prey,he went to pa dicksons house.
On getting there he pounced on the door like a lion that has just pounced on his prey.the only words that could come out of his mouth was "my w-i-f-e is about to make her delivering, immediately fell on the ground,for he has ran a marathon race.with just a blink of an eye pa dickson made it known to his wife Ngozi,and ageimg woman, a wrinkled face,in her late 70ties,with experience of child delivery.Ngozi and some group of women were been called,midwives by the people of the clan,Ngozi at once alerted the other women and they set for Pa agidi's compound.no sooner they arrived at the compound,they were accomplianed by pa Agidi and pa dickson.Agidi at once show them the hut chineye was undergoing her child labour.they went inside,a woman came outside and requested for water and other items needed for child's birth, Agidi rushed to his hut and brought the necessary items needed for child's birth.Pa Agidi could be seen woundering about like a hyena,feeling restless,filled with anxiety and fear,not quiet long,a cry of a baby was heard in the next hut where chineye was making her delivering,there was enormous joy and excitment in his heart and pa Dickson that was with him at that moment.pa Agidi unable to hid his joy,continued,crying tears of joy.and was experting to hear from the midwives,whether a male or a female.
A minute later,a woman came out of the hut to deliver the good news, she said"unaee,is a bouncing baby girl.immediately Pa Agidi jumped up and started shouting,a shout that woke people from far and near to come and celebrate with him, for his wife has delivered of a baby,neighbours who heard the shout, came out and celebrated with him,for it was a memorable night,to Agidi and the people that was present for they have never witnessed a night like that in their lives,for it was a night that appeared to be an eclipse.
It was exactlx 8days since the baby was born,according to the tradition of umuclan,when a baby is delivered it is on the 8thday after delivery such a baby would be given a name.on the 8thday which happens to fall on eke market day,pa Agidi invited all elders in his kindred and people of the clan,to come to his house to celebrate with him on the naming ceremony of his new born baby.
Agidi's compound is a large one,with a beautiful huts in it,goats,fowls,pigs and other domestic animals could be seen strolling in the compound.no sooner the compound was filled with people from far and near,wanting to celebrate with pa Agidi.(to be continued for there is no space left)

The concluding part of chapter 1
Agidi stood up to make a speech,been the host of the remarkable event.he greeted the people,and began his speech,sayimg you all are here because of the nameing ceremony of my new born baby.i as a man has waited patiently for this day to come,he further went on saying ,i'am happy and impressed for you all to hounour my invitation.PA Agidi was a cisero and a good orator,he ended his speech,saying since we are here to witness the naming of my new born baby,without wasting much of your time, i name her Adora.because i would like to adore her like the goddess of Amuzike river,a goddess that was worshipped by the people of umuclan.she is a fearsome goddess,that serve as ancestor to the people of umuclan.on hearing this,the people laughed and rejoiced in their heart,because Adora was named after their goddess.he ended his speech,saying drink,eat,and be merry, for i have many to offer.those who can eat,eat to your satisfaction,and those who drink's,drink to stupol.he was indirectly reffering to uzomo,a well known drunkard in the clan.uzomo stood up and said you have all heard it from the horses mouth,that foq those who drink's drink to stupol.and i have waited patiently for him to say it,and atlast has just said it all.and if i'm not mistaken,it mean my drinking here is not limited.saying this, he was already drunk and was dangling around with a bottle of aromatic shenarp,on his right hand and his left hand holding his trouser that was almost falling of his waste.and this made the people to laugh at him.since his actions was creating some sort of distraction,pa okonkwo cut in immediately to prevent further distraction,pa okonkwo was an ageing man in his late 70ties,dark in complexion,with a wrinkled face.began his speech in order to kill down the existing humour on ground caused by uzomo.saying thank you Agidi for entertaining us well,for giving us alot to eat and much to drink.i greet you once more,so he sat down to finish his own cup of palmwine that was served.pa Okonkwo is a respectable chief in umuclan.not quiet long,Ozomo stood up again to rain blessings and prayer's for the newly named Adora.and the people wounder the kind of prayer a drunk can offer due to this fact while he was praying,some were busy eating and taking merry with their drink.
Okafor a brother to Agidi was also present at the ceremony,Okafor is a farmer,about 5.9ft tall,with a muscular body,and a handsome man to cap it all.stood up to make his own witty saying,when immediately, Uzomo interupted him.saying Okafor stop! Stop! there is a big snake crawling at your back, this made Okafor frightened and jumped,and shouted Chineke,(God) and this made the people to laugh and laugh, untill there were no more strength in them anymore,which also made the ceremony to end in a happy,peaceful mood.
END OF CHAPTER 1 WATCH OUT FOR CHAPTER 2.

The concluding part of chapter 1
Agidi stood up to make a speech,been the host of the remarkable event.he greeted the people,and began his speech,sayimg you all are here because of the nameing ceremony of my new born baby.i as a man has waited patiently for this day to come,he further went on saying ,i'am happy and impressed for you all to hounour my invitation.PA Agidi was a cisero and a good orator,he ended his speech,saying since we are here to witness the naming of my new born baby,without wasting much of your time, i name her Adora.because i would like to adore her like the goddess of Amuzike river,a goddess that was worshipped by the people of umuclan.she is a fearsome goddess,that serve as ancestor to the people of umuclan.on hearing this,the people laughed and rejoiced in their heart,because Adora was named after their goddess.he ended his speech,saying drink,eat,and be merry, for i have many to offer.those who can eat,eat to your satisfaction,and those who drink's,drink to stupol.he was indirectly reffering to uzomo,a well known drunkard in the clan.uzomo stood up and said you have all heard it from the horses mouth,that foq those who drink's drink to stupol.and i have waited patiently for him to say it,and atlast has just said it all.and if i'm not mistaken,it mean my drinking here is not limited.saying this, he was already drunk and was dangling around with a bottle of aromatic shenarp,on his right hand and his left hand holding his trouser that was almost falling of his waste.and this made the people to laugh at him.since his actions was creating some sort of distraction,pa okonkwo cut in immediately to prevent further distraction,pa okonkwo was an ageing man in his late 70ties,dark in complexion,with a wrinkled face.began his speech in order to kill down the existing humour on ground caused by uzomo.saying thank you Agidi for entertaining us well,for giving us alot to eat and much to drink.i greet you once more,so he sat down to finish his own cup of palmwine that was served.pa Okonkwo is a respectable chief in umuclan.not quiet long,Ozomo stood up again to rain blessings and prayer's for the newly named Adora.and the people wounder the kind of prayer a drunk can offer due to this fact while he was praying,some were busy eating and taking merry with their drink.
Okafor a brother to Agidi was also present at the ceremony,Okafor is a farmer,about 5.9ft tall,with a muscular body,and a handsome man to cap it all.stood up to make his own witty saying,when immediately, Uzomo interupted him.saying Okafor stop! Stop! there is a big snake crawling at your back, this made Okafor frightened and jumped,and shouted Chineke,(God) and this made the people to laugh and laugh, untill there were no more strength in them anymore,which also made the ceremony to end in a happy,peaceful mood.
END OF CHAPTER 1 WATCH OUT FOR CHAPTER 2.

Please i need comments from u guys.

The ending of your chapter one left me in laughter, shows you can write humor into your books. Very good.

But there are several typos in the book. Also, when in time is your story set? I guess it's rural Nigeria before colonisation,

If so, there's no way Pa Agidi would be in his late forties and not married, same for Chinye/chinyere. If they got married young and waited a long time for a child then let us know. By why was he called Pa Agidi if he had no previous children named Agidi. Men are called Pa becaus e of their children or if they're old.

Keep writing you have talent for story telling.

@myne white tanks for appreciating my work.at my typo i would say i agree wit u to sum extent.wel is a rural setting sum tyme most men and women are offen reffer's to as nee and pa,and dosen't really mean they must have gven birth before is just a way of showing respect to them.as for their ages they are wel spoken as wel,for u wil get to understand later in the novel,i also acknowledge that i made sum mistake due to my typing for it wil nt be in chapter 2.all thesame tanks.bt dnt take this too person r'e u a male or a female,i have a reason 4 asking.

O lawd, i had a good laugh with your novel and as Myne white said, you injected humour. Very commendable.
Also i liked the simplicity of your language.

That said,
1. The sentences are a bit disjointed and there where lots of grammatical error.

2. Your novel did not have suspense or any new dimension. It was too descriptive and detailed. You wrote what most people already know about chidbirth and naming ceremony and at some point, i felt itwas a nigerian movie you watched and was telling.( he saif my W-I-F-E, unaee, shouted chineke,) I laugh die for there.

3. Your book had different time settings. At first it was a rural eastern part of Nigeria, then it was a civilised community and they were doing a naming ceremony with so much pomp.

4. Your characters were changing.
If pa Agidi was a fearless hunter and so fierce and respected, then i dont see why you should depict him again as a sentimental man with so much emotions. (Though it could work if you know how to go around it).

You are a teenager? wow, i didnt see that part earlier, and you have started early. I guess you will make a great writer.
Thumbs up. Keep the humour in your book, makes it lively.

BTW, you could target an age group. Books like yours would be enjoyed by teenagers and youngsters as well. Think about it.

@nezed tanks 4 ur comment,and 4 ur encouragement.

Though you have great ideas but as an author/publisher i would strongly advice you give your work to TRUSTED publishing firm to edit. else you may fall a victim of men and women who steal ideas from young creative authors like you. be careful visit my blog for more on publishing http://publishing4profit..com/

@bode i wil tink abt it.

More advice plz