The following is a true life tale. Facts, names, place or any identifying features have been slightly altered to protect the characters in this story.

THE ARREST
9th May, 2014. It was a cold friday morning, laying on the bed were five guys (Obiora, Izuchukwu, Henry, Oqui and I ) in positions which gave the scene a scenario that a gay orgy had taken place the previous night. I was still fast asleep when I heard a thud, my orientation was a little distorted then was the sound again, like someone was trying to either break down my door or force me out of bed by past 6; must be my psycho neighbor Faith or some sex-starved lodge mate who wants to pick up their phone they let to charge last night. I reluctantly opened the door and saw a shockingly handsome light skinned guy (should be in his late twenties) with a double barrel accompanied by two policemen looking like S.W.A.T armed to the teeth except they didn't have a nose mask on. Oh yeah?! shit just got real, I was about to go Bruce Lee on this niggaz and make it for  the window, Bleep! My window has a burglary proof I had go to Mike not Tyson and act smooth criminal on these popo. He stepped in, had this annoying Christiano Ronaldo's smirk on him (something my friend Obiora does when bitches begin to talk to him about how cute he was cos of his grey eyes) was like don't I know who he is? TF should I know, I've banged chicks whose real name I don't know or can't recognize an hour later. Introduced himself as the school anti-cult, what these Mofo don't know I've been trained by Jet Li *movies* since I was 7, I could take on all three in less than 5 seconds. Bang! A right punch to the throat, a swift jab to the left ribs close to the heart and a quick kick in between the legs, they won't t even know what hit 'em. Did I forget to mention that I have an overactive imagination? Back to my story, well they demanded for my phones and laptop which I gave to them, and they took me in without reading the miranda, showing me an arrest warrant or telling me what am being charged with.

As I was escorted out of my lodge in cuffs, I could hear murmuring and feel the piercing judging eyes of my lodge-mate condemning me already for crime/crimes I have no fore knowledge of. Lord knows what stories might be brewing now on the darting tongues of gossips (my friends have had a fair share, Obiora  owns more condoms that shoprite, Dude what are you trying to do; Bleep an army?!. Izu is a man-LovePeddler, Henry was guy who never makes it out of the friendzone with any girl, cool and nice opening but this nigga never closes*ok I'm going to go out of my way and place a free a advert for Henry. Ladies, he is loquacious so u don't have to worry about what to say, he'll do all the talking, got a dick the size of a toothbrush for you ladies who think size isn't everything and I know what y'all are thinking.. Ok I've not actually seen it but I did see him in a swimming trunk once. Please any lady feeling like doing some charity work -helping the needy? He seriously need to get laid before his 18th birthday*. Oqui on the other hand has profoundly bad choices in women). Everyone was peeping through the window and balcony to get a glance of what's going on. Two policemen were stationed outside, one at the gate and the other at the entrance with their fingers on the trigger in a military stance which suggested that they've been giving the order to shoot on sight if things should go south. "Emma, wetin dey happen?" asked Onyeka the lodge president, I looked up a gave a weak smile and relied "I dunno" trying to sound as strong as possible. As we approached the police van parked out side, I noticed two other people were seated in the back Chucks and Diogor. I got in and Chuks narrated how he was arrested the previous night and Diogor this morning. Both Chuks and Diogor are both course mate and I have known them since their first year.