While your connection with your partner is a serious thing, you don’t have to go about it in a serious way. Being playful and silly with each other is powerful. So is engaging in exciting activities together.


According to research, sharing novel, highly exciting experiences with each other can dramatically improve your relationship. “The novelty gets the brain’s reward chemicals of dopamine and norepinephrine flowing, repeating the factors present in the early stages of falling in love and bonding,” said Susan Lager, LICSW, a psychotherapist specializing in couples work at her private practice The Couples Center PLLC, in Portsmouth, N.H.

She also stressed the importance of activities that focus on sharing and teamwork, along with “open, expansive conversations,” which can become a significant source of connection.

Below are four fun ideas for connecting with your partner on a regular basis by PsychCentral. Some are super simple, and others take a bit more effort.

Cook together.

Certified Imago Relationship therapist Lena Aburdene Derhally, MS, LPC, suggested couples cook together, because it lets you work as a team. You might make a meal at home, while playing your favorite music. Or you might participate in a cooking class.

Take turns creating mystery dates.

Lager suggested each partner serve as the “Fun Captain,” planning a mystery date for next week or month. When you’re the “Fun Captain,” pay attention to your partner’s ideas about intriguing activities and places, and incorporate those preferences into your date, she said.

For instance, maybe your spouse mentioned that they’d like to explore a new seaside town. So you find a great place to eat lunch, a pretty park to explore and an art gallery you know they’ll love.

Also, be sure to take care of things, such as reservations, tickets or scheduling a babysitter, if needed, she said. This way your partner doesn’t have to do any “work.” Keep your agenda a secret, only telling your partner what they might want to wear, she said.

“Through these experiences you’ll exercise your empathy muscles as you imagine and plan activities both of you will enjoy.”


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