As Danjuma ascended the podium, the crowd yelled excitedly. It excitements were almost blinding. He grinned from ear to ear and had the appearance of a middle age man with a purpose. The sun rays were tolerant that day, almost soothing to the deep dark complexions that filled the arena. He waved repeatedly and requested for silence with his gestures, his hands working like that of a doctor operating on a pregnant underage girl. As the crowd wore the mien for silence, Danjuma's grin was still on, plastered on his face as white on rice.

Ekh, ekh, ekh, Danjuma began, his voice booming into the powerful microphone fixed on the stand, his phlegmatic throat then cleared. "Fellow brethren!" he hailed and punched the air with his fist. The crowd responded comically: "Danju! Danju!!" and almost on cue, the silence returned, the crowd aching to listen to him.

"As we all know," he started, then paused for major emphasis, looked around and continued, "today, 7th October, 2009, is the last day of our blessed three day campaign. Or aren't we blessed?" he looked around like he lost something and the crowd exploded again. Positively.

"We still remember the recent deaths of our brothers and their deaths is why we are here, of course. We need to protect our interests and that of our unborn children today and endure these events never occur again." The crowd was gravely silent then, the deaths imprinted on their minds. I'll tell us a story now.


"It is the story of chief Sande, my used to be closest friend. We all knew him while he was alive and all benefited of his generosity. Isn't it so?" The crowd agreed vigorously, though soundlessly and effortlessly. A good sign, Danjuma nodded.

"When I heard of Sande's death, I was shocked and I felt as the working blades of a turbine. But when I heard of the cause, I wasn't surprised anymore, anger suited it instead.

When we were very young - Sande and I, almost 8 months old, his mother used to bring him to our place in Toogah. She would have him strapped as she came in and would unstrap him immediately she saw my maa.

"Look," she'd say and bring Sande's neck forward for my maa to feel. It was always hot then. "He doesn't sleep or take other foods, all he does is cry. I'm fed up!" she always cried and my maa would ask her to be calm and believe Sande was alright. He would crawl to me and say as we chattered: "I can't sleep, Danju, not when mama's breasts always give me succour when I am awake or cry." I'd smile and feel pity for his poor Maa. Now, this is where I am going to."

The crowd had its ears perked and its interest piqued to the moon. The solemn look on the men's faces spoke volumes.



"The first time Sande fainted was when his maa couldn't breastfeed him as she was terribly sick. He was 2 and some months then. Simply put, Sande became addicted to breasts and this attitude was with him till he died." Danjuma saw how captured the crowd was.

"Sande, as we grew up had very great interests in breasts and they were all he thought of. He introduced me to a woman who let us suck her breasts for a shilling. And Sande could suck any breast dry. Unfortunately, Sande sucked his life himself two months ago when he paid another man's wife to let him suck her flood; he had always done that but this camel had another addict whom had poisoned the breasts. So to say, Sande died of breast poisoning. We know of our other brethren that died this way too."

The crowd looked like it would break into tears any further moment.

"All we are saying is this: Stop breastfeeding our babies! We don't want any breast addicts anymore. This 'Sandetragedy' cannot be condoned anymore. It is dreadful, wicked, barbarous, hazardous, zero utilizable......." the rest of his speech was eat up by the heavy cheers of the crowd.

"I drop." the microphone boomed. A group broke free and lifted Danju on their shoulders and heads. They chanted till dusk.

And Danju was so eloquent that every man in the arena had his mind made up.
However, Danjuma swore Sande appeared to him in his dreams, unpleasantly. He was feeling crossed.

Oladokun Oluwabukola

Seriously what is the purpose of this work? Are you against breastfeeding babies?

Beautiful piece i must confess. You just doing things mervelously. Old men and breast, lol. It really does harm, skimpledawg and co that like breast- change.

Akposb:
Seriously what is the purpose of this work? Are you against breastfeeding babies?

This is a satire. I like breasts myself, why condemn it If you're pissed off, just pass.

stuff46:
Beautiful piece i must confess. You just doing things mervelously. Old men and breast, lol. It really does harm, skimpledawg and co that like breast- change.

Lol, bro. Don't mind Skimple. How's the ministry going?

OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Lol, bro. Don't mind Skimple. How's the ministry going?

Ministry is good, dont mind that niccur he is the way i dont understand errh.

OluwabuqqyYOLO:

This is a satire. I like breasts myself, why condemn it If you're pissed off, just pass.

May be I should have used a smiling emoticon or I didn't get the satiric message but I saw it that way. Its your decision at the end of the day but seriously criticism can come in any way so sorry.

OluwabuqqyYOLO:
Lol, bro. Don't mind Skimple. How's the ministry going?

Olu-Maintain, u join Stuff dey gossip me shey

Akposb:

May be I should have used a smiling emoticon or I didn't get the satiric message but I saw it that way. Its your decision at the end of the day but seriously criticism can come in any way so sorry.

Okay. I was feeling you all the same. Thank you.

stuff46:


Ministry is good, dont mind that niccur he is the way i dont understand errh.

Hahahaha.

Skimpledawg:

Olu-Maintain, u join Stuff dey gossip me shey

So, you have truly become a father. Congratulations!

OluwabuqqyYOLO:
So, you have truly become a father. Congratulations!

Holy Shii ....
u had fun with a mermaid in d dream?

Skimpledawg:

Holy Shii ....

u had fun with a mermaid in d dream?

Gerrarahere!!!

I can't understand why a lot of you guys read but don't commend or even drop a critique. Can the next reader, please, change that?

OluwabuqqyYOLO:

Gerrarahere!!!

ogbeni, calm down! I go reason ya Mata later


about this short piece,....
sincerely, I found it hard wrapping my head about the piece, it was captivating ( dunno if its cos of the br. easts). the day I read it, I really wanted to finish it all and I found myself yearning for more. Kudos man.

OluwabuqqyYOLO:


"The first time Sande fainted was when his maa couldn't breastfeed him as she was terribly sick.

Oladokun Oluwabukola

However, I find this part of the story over exaggerated!
we all sucked br. easts when we were small niqqa c'mon

Skimpledawg:

However, I find this part of the story over exaggerated!
we all sucked br. easts when we were small niqqa c'mon

Bro, Sande was addicted since his early ages. So, when his mom couldn't feed him breasts for over three weeks, he fainted even if he was past 2 then. This part is to emphasize Sande's issue, man.

Understand before you go and come and smoke weed o.

Skimpledawg:

ogbeni, calm down! I go reason ya Mata later


about this short piece,....
sincerely, I found it hard wrapping my head about the piece, it was captivating ( dunno if its cos of the br. easts). the day I read it, I really wanted to finish it all and I found myself yearning for more. Kudos man.

Ahahahah!!! Alashewo oshi. Thank you, man!

Lalasticlala, featured page, please?

Catwalk in with my popcorn........... Ehmm, come here. What did you say is wrong with breast biko?

Angelinastto:
Catwalk in with my popcorn........... Ehmm, come here. What did you say is wrong with breast biko?