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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Wazzat? (2751 Views)
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Wazzat? by tytylayor: 8:20am On Oct 20, 2009 |
Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work with the news of my grandchild's birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers. "I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds." "When was she born?" someone asked. Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar, and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!" |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 8:21am On Oct 20, 2009 |
The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day, I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning. Later, on my way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. Where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words, "Rough Road." |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 8:24am On Oct 20, 2009 |
A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him." "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!" "Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket, What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!" |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 8:26am On Oct 20, 2009 |
A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?" The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?" The person says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it." |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 8:29am On Oct 20, 2009 |
A man walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Don't touch the purple monkey up in room 222." The man sneered and went straight up to room 222 and opened the door. There sitting right in front of him was a purple monkey. The man laughed again and touched the monkey. He then started down the stairs, the monkey was following him. The man went outside and got into his jeep. The monkey got in the back seat. The man ignored him. Later the man drove to the Eiffel Tower. The man got out of the car and the monkey followed. Later the man finally reached the top, but the monkey was right behind him. The man just burst and yelled, "What do you want!" The monkey came up to him and said, "Tag, you're it. |
Re: Wazzat? by nich(m): 8:46am On Oct 20, 2009 |
singing: . . . dis is as good as it gets yeah . . . . . . senile old men . . . . . . lousy government . . . . . . unintelligent mates . . . . . . peeps listening, but not hearing . . . . . . dis is as good as it gets yeah . . . |
Re: Wazzat? by sylve11: 8:52am On Oct 20, 2009 |
@ololumi, good of u! |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 8:43am On Oct 21, 2009 |
Re: Wazzat? by Ben13: 9:07am On Oct 21, 2009 |
great collections |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 1:00pm On Oct 21, 2009 |
ynx |
Re: Wazzat? by nich(m): 1:10pm On Oct 21, 2009 |
all we are saaaaaaaying, give us some moooooore. . . |
Re: Wazzat? by donjon: 11:02pm On Oct 21, 2009 |
Kolo, stop smoking dat thing |
Re: Wazzat? by bydot1(m): 12:53am On Oct 22, 2009 |
Nice oner, Auntie mi |
Re: Wazzat? by Kunbee: 1:22am On Oct 22, 2009 |
Re: Wazzat? by bydot1(m): 1:41am On Oct 22, 2009 |
Wazzat nite don fall o, its coldy here |
Re: Wazzat? by donjon: 1:49am On Oct 22, 2009 |
Close ur eye and sleep |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 9:15am On Oct 22, 2009 |
my eyes no fit close |
Re: Wazzat? by nich(m): 9:19am On Oct 22, 2009 |
tytylayor: what happened? 'sure u are ok? |
Re: Wazzat? by bydot1(m): 5:29pm On Oct 22, 2009 |
Am much more ok |
Re: Wazzat? by nich(m): 5:36pm On Oct 22, 2009 |
you ke? wetin do u before? |
Re: Wazzat? by donsponky(m): 5:43pm On Oct 22, 2009 |
only you dey post only you dey reply. 9ce shaa |
Re: Wazzat? by donjon: 6:36pm On Oct 22, 2009 |
Im don take dat thing, wey terry g dey take! |
Re: Wazzat? by D1KeleVra(m): 9:02pm On Oct 22, 2009 |
whish kin ololumi be this? |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 6:55am On Oct 23, 2009 |
NOT U |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 6:56am On Oct 23, 2009 |
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, 'Children are a gift from God,' he said. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much, we wear raincoats.' And the congregation said, 'Amen!' |
Re: Wazzat? by nich(m): 9:34am On Oct 23, 2009 |
word! nice one! singing: . . . thief, ole carry am go . . . |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 9:57am On Oct 23, 2009 |
must u sing on every post? |
Re: Wazzat? by nich(m): 10:08am On Oct 23, 2009 |
tyty, no be my fault. na wetin my signature talk o. | | v |
Re: Wazzat? by sweetliet: 1:05pm On Oct 23, 2009 |
nice jokes babes. im stil lmao!!!!! |
Re: Wazzat? by sylve11: 3:30pm On Oct 23, 2009 |
Nich sharap! u don wash those plates wen i take eat? |
Re: Wazzat? by tytylayor: 4:21pm On Oct 23, 2009 |
he still dey wash my pants |
Re: Wazzat? by busybody20: 4:28pm On Oct 23, 2009 |
tyty, Kaiiiii See wetin Asu strike dey cause! Wahala dey! U nor get work? |
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