Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was elated when he called me at work with the news of my grandchild's birth. I took down all the statistics and turned to relate it all to my co-workers.

"I'm a grandmother!" I declared. "It's a baby girl, and she weighs five pounds."

"When was she born?" someone asked.

Recalling the date my son told me, I stopped, looked at the calendar, and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!"

The road by my house was in bad condition. Every day, I dodged potholes on the way to work, so I was relieved to see a construction crew working on the road one morning.

Later, on my way home, I noticed the men were gone and no improvement in the road. Where the crew had been working stood a new, bright-yellow sign with the words, "Rough Road."

A new young bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother, you don't understand. I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom. "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars."

"No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey, it was the airplane ticket."

"Airplane ticket, What did you need an airplane ticket for?"

"Well mother, when I went to fix it, I looked at the directions on the package and it said - 'Prepare from a frozen state,' so I flew to Alaska!"

A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?"

The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?"

The person says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."

A man walked into a bar and the bartender said, "Don't touch the purple monkey up in room 222." The man sneered and went straight up to room 222 and opened the door. There sitting right in front of him was a purple monkey.

The man laughed again and touched the monkey. He then started down the stairs, the monkey was following him. The man went outside and got into his jeep. The monkey got in the back seat. The man ignored him.

Later the man drove to the Eiffel Tower. The man got out of the car and the monkey followed. Later the man finally reached the top, but the monkey was right behind him.

The man just burst and yelled, "What do you want!"

The monkey came up to him and said, "Tag, you're it.

singing: .  .  . dis is as good as it gets yeah .  .  .
. . . senile old men . . .
. . . lousy government . . .
. . . unintelligent mates . . .
. . . peeps listening, but not hearing . . .
. . . dis is as good as it gets yeah . . .

@ololumi, good of u!

great collections

ynx

all we are saaaaaaaying, give us some moooooore. . .

Kolo, stop smoking dat thing

Close ur eye and sleep

my eyes no fit close

tytylayor:

my eyes no fit close

what happened? 'sure u are ok?

Am much more ok

you ke? wetin do u before?

only you dey post only you dey reply. 9ce shaa

Im don take dat thing, wey terry g dey take!

whish kin ololumi be this?

NOT U

There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went to the congregation and asked for a raise.

After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that
whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation
decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary.
There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's
additional children were costing the church.

Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to
the crowd, 'Children are a gift from God,' he said. Silence fell on the congregation.

In the back of the room, a little old lady stood up and in her frail
voice said, 'Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much, we wear raincoats.'

And the congregation said, 'Amen!'

word! nice one!

singing: . . . thief, ole carry am go . . .

must u sing on every post?

tyty, no be my fault. na wetin my signature talk o.
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nice jokes babes. im stil lmao!!!!!

Nich sharap! u don wash those plates wen i take eat?

he still dey wash my pants

tyty,

Kaiiiii See wetin Asu strike dey cause! Wahala dey! U nor get work?