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Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 1:57pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Toddlers are more than a handful right! Sigh! They weren’t given the title “Terrible Two’s” for no reason. At this age, they are working on the normal human ability to make decisions for themselves and need guidance to learn the best way. It is not always going to be easy, because you want them to learn the Rights and Wrongs, without breaking their spirit of independence. Giving them choices when needed, but letting them know that in some things there is no choice. You can let some things slide and not make a big deal of it, but when it has to do with others then you may need to step in. Choose your battles wisely. Is it something that is really bad, or is it that they are just not listening to you. Are they tired, hungry or just want their way? Really a child’s stubbornness is often caused by parents who don’t listen to their own children. The “I don’t care what you want, you will do what I say” type of parenting doesn’t help anyone or anything at all. Here are ways you can put them right- 1. Don’t Reward Bad Behaviour- Don’t give biscuit or sweet simply because you want to stop a child from throwing tantrums. But one thing to do is to reward positive behaviour. When your child is kind, let them know that they were kind (be specific). Be careful of your reward abilities. A child throws a tantrum because they want that toy or biscuits should not be quieted by giving them what they want. If a tantrum begins for their not getting their way, the best thing is to take a breath and ignore it. 2. Pick Your Battles- Give them options, don’t be too rigid that your way must be the only way even if there are alternatives. As a parent, we know you must be firm but be kind. For example, in a case whereby you may have asked a child to pick a red or blue shirt, but they come up with a striped shirt. Is the striped shirt okay? Will it work? Yes, they came up with the third option but you realise if they picked an appropriate shirt, they were ultimately already following your teaching. And your child may be that person that wants to try another way which is their way. As long as the choice is safe, appropriate and within the limit set, we would discuss option C. We should not be adamant as parents about our options. 3. Time Outs- A time out for really bad things like hurting others or just being totally defiant to what you have asked them to do, or not to do, will be appropriate for. It takes time and you must make your words mean what you say. The best is 1 (one) minute in time out per age,(One year for 1 min, two years for two mins). Put them in a place where you can see them (A naughty corner). Just explain what they did and why it is wrong, in a firm, not yelling voice. Do not give in, but do not talk to them while they are in the time out. If they get up before the time is done, put them back and tell them they can’t get out because they need to understand that the behaviour is unacceptable. If they get up again, put them back with no words. Don’t confuse them by giving in and letting them return to something else without completing their time out and them telling you they are sorry. Eventually, they will understand what is expected and the outcome for bad behaviour, so they will know the Rights and Wrongs. 4. Love Them- Remind them of what they did, the reason why they had to be by the naughty corner and remind the baby that you love them and you want them to be nice to everybody (hugs and kisses and a tickle to cheer them back up). But if they should do that again, then they might have to go back there. Source: mamalette.com 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by wtfCode: 2:05pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Back then in my family, na cane my parents go use dey talk to u. Things aff changed |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 2:08pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
wtfCode: Yeah, things have changed, I agree. 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 2:16pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
wtfCode:That was the good old days. Now parents aff spoil. Such disciplinary actions are now called "child abuse". 4 Likes |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Zehner(f): 2:27pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Please how do you mean "the title terrible twos" ? You make it sound like another name for toddlers or should I say the write up makes it sound that way or am I wrong? 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 2:44pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Seal7: Flogging a child isn't a guarantee that the child will not go back to doing the same thing he was flogged for. 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 2:52pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Mimzyy:No "method" guarantees anything. All the points You mentioned above doesnt guarantee anything either. But in terms of efficiency/effectiveness, flogging still does a better job...since 1960. 16 Likes |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 3:00pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Seal7: Not true, I disagree. Flogging only makes em more stubborn(from experience) . When you flog a child, you only harden their heart and they tend to repeat the same thing since it's end result will be spanking anyway. 2 Likes |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 3:04pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Mimzyy:Your opinion. 4 Likes |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 3:06pm On Oct 23, 2016 |
Seal7: I'm entitled to it 3 Likes |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:24am On Oct 24, 2016 |
. 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 8:34am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Mimzyy: Only if the flogger can't flog, I was always amused anytime my dad or mum used the belt on me but my military uncle...boy or boy, that man is the devil's right hand. If you flog properly, they won't repeat although I won't flog my kids, I find taking privileges away much more effective. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 8:57am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Wingback: at bolded. My Dad was also in the military. Tho I wont flog my kids(hopefully), I still think flogging is the most efficient way anybody can discipline a kid. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:03am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Wingback: Have you considered the fact that flogging them too hard might leave indelible marks on their body? The fact that we were brought up that way does not mean it is the most effective method of correcting a child. At the emboldened, you couldn't have said it better. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 9:06am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Mimzyy: that's no more flogging but child abuse. 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:07am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Seal7: Flog 'em leme see you na |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:07am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Seal7: Now we are on the same page |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by SalomonKane: 9:09am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Mimzyy:Things haven't changed at all. Flogging still is among the best way one can use in handling kids. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 9:10am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Mimzyy:Are You stylishly saying Yes to my marriage proposal? Lord is this a sign? |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by SalomonKane: 9:11am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Seal7:What's your definition of child abuse? |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:15am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Seal7: You know the deal na, A Ferrari If you love me you go buy me Ferrari eh eh 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by sisisioge: 9:16am On Oct 25, 2016 |
God help all the parents out there and we the aspirants. Kids of today are too strong-willed for everybody's good biko. My friend's kids are a typical example. The girl is so level headed. She listens, shes cool, she fears the cane(though no one beats her)...she's a sweet girl. The boy on the other hand...ohlordinheaven! Whew, he's all of troublesome merged in one! He could climb for Africa, noisy, silly...I'm already exasperated thinking about him! The only thing that works briefly on him is taking privileges away. Even that has 30mins expiration! It is well, if only we could all stick to having the girl child... 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 9:17am On Oct 25, 2016 |
SalomonKane: Child abuse is when a parent or caregiver, whether through action or failing to act, causes (permanent) injury, death, emotional harm or risk of serious harm to a child. 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:17am On Oct 25, 2016 |
SalomonKane: Why? Whatever in the world happened to dialogue? Or rewarding good behaviour and depriving them of things they cherish owing to bad behaviour? |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:20am On Oct 25, 2016 |
sisisioge: It works, a lot of the time honestly. The girl child too can be very strong-willed too. It just takes the grace of God and application of the right corrective measure(s) to lead them aright. It is well |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by SalomonKane: 9:28am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Mimzyy:Dialogue? With a kid? Come on now. I'm telling you. Most of these kids can't be reasoned with, especially those from dis-functional homes and those who are spoilt by their parents. The carrot and stick method works very well. I work with kids. When try to deprive a kid of something he or she likes, they usually look for a way to thwart you. These kids think they're smarter than you, you know. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by SalomonKane: 9:32am On Oct 25, 2016 |
Seal7: Seen and noted. You know from you definition. I was abused by my teachers when I was in secondary school. I still have the scars they gave me. Oh how I hated them then, but now, I love them and I thank them for making me who I am, for without their careful ministration of discipline in me, lord knows what I would have turned out to be. Know this, we're not whites, the black man has his own unique way of handling his children. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by SalomonKane: 9:34am On Oct 25, 2016 |
sisisioge:That boy needs a time out with me, seriously. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Mimzyy(f): 9:37am On Oct 25, 2016 |
SalomonKane: I beg to disagree with you, the fact that a child is from a home where things are not going on well between the parents does not automatically mean that they will not be open to correction. Yes, dialogue works. I know this because i have tried it many a time, it might not work all of the time but you will get desired result if you are persistent enough. If i can tell a child that is barely two years old that "if you throw that water bottle, no cheeseballs for you" (of course with a very stern look) and she automatically hands over the water bottle to me, then yes!! dialogue works no matter how young the child is. I will not be a party to child abuse under the pretext of reprimanding. When you catch them young, whatever you imbibe in them will stick with them. 1 Like |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by Nobody: 9:41am On Oct 25, 2016 |
SalomonKane:Then oga Solo must have been a very stubborn pikin. I was also "abused" when I was in primary school. Tho the teacher was later dealt with, I still wont support flogging a child to the extent of causing serious injuries, black or white. |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by sisisioge: 9:45am On Oct 25, 2016 |
SalomonKane: E go tire you! His energy level is alarming |
Re: Ways Of Handling A Stubborn Toddler by SalomonKane: 9:48am On Oct 25, 2016 |
sisisioge:My energy level is alarming too. |
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