Nairalanders I'm in need of your advice here. Please let advice be mature because every advice is important to me.

I met this guy in church December last year and we got talking. He actually came home to visit because he is based abroad. So he went back to his base and kept in touch. He calls me often and we chat often. Along the line he made his intention known which is to date me. And I considered everything, he's being abroad and all. So I said ok let me pray about it. Then he told me that he has an oyinbo live-in girlfriend who has been very good to him, in fact she has helped him out of trouble with the authorities severally because of illegal business. So he's that indebted to her.

So I asked him what he wants with me then. He said that he's telling me because something might come up along the line to make him marry the oyinbo girlfriend considering that she can help him out with the authorities. But that he seriously wants to marry a Nigerian girl.

So nairalanders this is my dilemma. Should I or should I not? It seems that some Nigerian girls actually do this knowingly.

Please mature advice is needed. Thank you all.

Lalasticlala mynd44 ishilove seun pls help move this to FP.

Pls I created this new acct for this purpose.
Y'all might want to see this
https://www.nairaland.com/3424731/why-nigerian-men-come-back/2

Babe, that's a question you yourself can answer, nd not a public matter.


Cus it from your message, u already decided what to do.

Why/what does he need to be adviced abt dat? At least he knws wat he wants..wants to marry a Nigerian den go marry one

;Dyes o, its that time of the year again, abroad based bobos are coming home for Christmas and weddings

The guy is being honest with you,, its left in your court if u want that kinda marriage, you'd be his home based wife, the oyibo would be his abroad based wife D:

missolivea would he tell the lady before marrying her of his intended marriage with you? if not that makes him a trickster and devoid of truth. if his answer satisfies you then the next would be if you would be ok to a third wife once he wants more.

Missolivea:
Nairalanders I'm in need of your advice here. Please let advice be mature because every advice is important to me.

I met this guy in church December last year and we got talking. He actually came home to visit because he is based abroad. So he went back to his base and kept in touch. He calls me often and we chat often. Along the line he made his intention known which is to date me. And I considered everything, he's being abroad and all. So I said ok let me pray about it. Then he told me that he has an oyinbo live-in girlfriend who has been very good to him, in fact she has helped him out of trouble with the authorities severally because of illegal business. So he's that indebted to her.

So I asked him what he wants with me then. He said that he's telling me because something might come up along the line to make him marry the oyinbo girlfriend considering that she can help him out with the authorities. But that he seriously wants to marry a Nigerian girl.

So nairalanders this is my dilemma. Should I or should I not? It seems that some Nigerian girls actually do this knowingly.

Please mature advice is needed. Thank you all.

Lalasticlala mynd44 ishilove pls help move this to FP.

are you that desperate? you want to marry a man that does illegal business and lives with a woman already? Go ahead. Mods pls dont put this rubbish on frontpage.

Dear it's a decision you alone can take, it depends on what you want, many girls do it for reasons best known to them, either for money or to brag that my husband is outside but I tell you that the joy of marriage is not there. when you get close to such a person dt the husband is outside you will find out that they are passing through alot emotionally.
My colleague was telling me yesterday how their neighbor's husband that has been outside for 3yrs came back and stayed only 3 week and left and the wife was crying and complaining and worst is that she was given condition not add the husband on any social network bcoz if the oyibo wife finds out that he is married in Nigeria it will be war.
I'm not trying to discourage but if u truly love him you can go ahead.

Note this whilst making your decisions

You will NEVER be his legal wife (either in 9ja or in the abroad)
You will live your marital life as a married woman but single because hubby visits x1 a yr or x1 in 2yrs.
You will hv step kids who will probably be older than yours.
His legal wife will visit with him to 9ja and you will be relegated to maid position by him and ur in laws because them no want spoil their son chances of gaining papers.
There is no guarantee he will divorce that lady except she chooses to file......he will work to pay alimony and child support = less income to look after u and and children u birth.
Your income will be used to run the home in 9ja.
You can't visit and live with him.
He will only visit to get married 2 u. Then subsequent visits will be to get u knocked up
You will never live under the same roof as husband and wife for more than 1 month. So pray tell, what type of marriage, relationship do u envisage 4 yaself?
Oga will be banging his whitey daily yr in yr out whilst you can't even kiss a man without bn termed a cheat and adultere

Please run for your life. He isn't the only man in this world that you can marry. His life is complicated and based on a foundation of lies, insincerity and deceit.

What happens If after marrying you he ends up in jail? Is he going to be a good role model for your kids?

Don't be desperate to get married.

Getting married for the wrong reason is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Let him be and give yourself some peace of mind.

Missolivea:
Nairalanders I'm in need of your advice here. Please let advice be mature because every advice is important to me.

I met this guy in church December last year and we got talking. He actually came home to visit because he is based abroad. So he went back to his base and kept in touch. He calls me often and we chat often. Along the line he made his intention known which is to date me. And I considered everything, he's being abroad and all. So I said ok let me pray about it. Then he told me that he has an oyinbo live-in girlfriend who has been very good to him, in fact she has helped him out of trouble with the authorities severally because of illegal business. So he's that indebted to her.

So I asked him what he wants with me then. He said that he's telling me because something might come up along the line to make him marry the oyinbo girlfriend considering that she can help him out with the authorities. But that he seriously wants to marry a Nigerian girl.

So nairalanders this is my dilemma. Should I or should I not? It seems that some Nigerian girls actually do this knowingly.

Please mature advice is needed. Thank you all.

Lala.sticlala mynd.44 ishi.love pls help move this to FP.

What are you looking for in FP?

Go have a talk with your mother, young woman.

It depends on what you want of a husband, a marriage, and of course, how desperate you are.

ElsonMorali:
Please run for your life. He isn't the only man in this world that you can marry. His life is complicated and based on a foundation of lies, insincerity and deceit.

What happens If after marrying you he ends up in jail? Is he going to be a good role model for your kids?

Don't be desperate to get married.

Getting married for the wrong reason is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Let him be and give yourself some peace of mind.

You can just imagine the kind of man a woman is giving serious thought to.

keepingmum:
Note this whilst making your decisions

You will NEVER be his legs wife (either in 9ja or in the abroad)
You will live your marital life as a married woman but single because hubby visits x1 a yr or x1 in 2yrs.
You will hv step kids who will probably be older than yours.
His legal wife will visit with him to 9ja and you will be relegated to maid position by him and ur in laws because them no want spoil their son chances of gaining papers.
There is no guarantee he will divorce that lady except she chooses to file......he will work to pay alimony and child support = less income to look after u and and children u birth.
Your income will be used to run the home in 9ja.
You can't visit and live with him.
He will only visit to get married 2 u. Then subsequent visits will be to get u knocked up
You will never live under the same roof as husband and wife for more than 1 month. So pray tell, what type of marriage, relationship do u envisage 4 yaself?
Oga will be banging his whitey daily yr in yr out whilst you can't even kiss a man without bn termed a cheat and adultere

I have thought along these lines too. I was wondering what makes some other ladies do it and if their reasons are valid. Thanks so much for your advice

Talasuma:
Babe, that's a question you yourself can answer, nd not a public matter.


Cus it from your message, u already decided what to do.

No I've not decided or I wouldn't be seeking advice.

Ziyadah:
Why/what does he need to be adviced abt dat? At least he knws wat he wants..wants to marry a Nigerian den go marry one

Your are getting it mixed up. The question is should I agree to it or not?

Eyekandi:
;Dyes o, its that time of the year again, abroad based bobos are coming home for Christmas and weddings

The guy is being honest with you,, its left in your court if u want that kinda marriage, you'd be his home based wife, the oyibo would be his abroad based wife D:

Babe would you do it if you were the one?

teemy:
missolivea would he tell the lady before marrying her of his intended marriage with you? if not that makes him a trickster and devoid of truth. if his answer satisfies you then the next would be if you would be ok to a third wife once he wants more.

My dear if he has the probability of being a trickster, then any response he gives to such a question will be carefully tailored. I'm wondering why he even wants a Nigerian wife at all. Why is the oyinbo not enough?

ireneidiva:

are you that desperate? you want to marry a man that does illegal business and lives with a woman already? Go ahead. Mods pls dont put this rubbish on frontpage.

Thanks for your advice. Its much appreciated

ElsonMorali:
Please run for your life. He isn't the only man in this world that you can marry. His life is complicated and based on a foundation of lies, insincerity and deceit.

What happens If after marrying you he ends up in jail? Is he going to be a good role model for your kids?

Don't be desperate to get married.

Getting married for the wrong reason is the worst thing you can do to yourself.

Let him be and give yourself some peace of mind.

I don't want to marry for the wrong reasons at all

Are you sure the oyinbo lady is not already a wife? Use your head

Ishilove please let this get more responses

maxioptiultra:
It depends on what you want of a husband, a marriage, and of course, how [size=22pt]desperate[/size] you are.

Keyword

The guy is obviously a criminal, engaging in illegal activities over there.
He will probably end up in jail, or dead in the streets.
.
This Babe knows, but as she heard "abroad" thingzzz, she can't sit still.
.
Is this story even real?

Winneygirl:
The guy is obviously a criminal, engaging in illegal activities over there.
He will probably end up in jail, or dead in the streets.
.
This Babe knows, but as she heard "abroad" thingzzz, she can't sit still.
.
Is this story even real?

Babe its real. People find themselves in this position everyday, some unknowingly.

Missolivea:

I don't want to marry for the wrong reasons at all

For you to even give his proposal a thought shows you probably don't know what you want.
He's into illegal business,lives with a woman already,doesn't have legal papers to stay and that's the kind of man you want?

Missolivea:

Babe its real. People find themselves in this position everyday, some unknowingly.

Did you unknowingly find yourself in this position?
.
This is bad fiction.

thorpido:
For you to even give his proposal a thought shows you probably don't know what you want.
He's into illegal business,lives with a woman already,doesn't have legal papers to stay and that's the kind of man you want?

My dear. I know some people do it. Was wondering whether they had some valid reasons... Its good to ask questions sometimes before one will think one is being too difficult

thorpido:
For you to even give his proposal a thought shows you probably don't know what you want.
He's into illegal business,lives with a woman already,doesn't have legal papers to stay and that's the kind of man you want?

My dear. I know some people do it. Was wondering whether they had some valid reasons. Its good to ask questions sometimes before one will think one is being too difficult

Missolivea:

My dear. I know some people do it. Was wondering whether they had some valid reasons. Its good to ask questions sometimes before one will think one is being too difficult

The major reasons they do it is because they get money from abroad(nothing like hard currency ),they dream of going there and they are jonsing(don't have suitors here in Nigeria).
Is that your situation too?

thorpido:
The major reasons they do it is because they get money from abroad(nothing like hard currency ),they dream of going there and they are jonsing(don't have suitors here in Nigeria).
Is that your situation too?

Like I said I don't want to marry for the wrong reasons, not for janding opportunity or hard currency and I know that there's a man out there that God made me for

So glad others are seeing my point

Missolivea:

Like I said I don't want to marry for the wrong reasons, not for janding opportunity or hard currency and I know that there's a man out there that God made me for

Do you think this man abroad is the one God made for you?