Your marriage/relationship must work, everything must not be about DIVORCE,BREAKUPS
The goal of this article isn’t to make a man light up like Christmas lights, and be all chirpy and cheerful. The goal really is to bring light in to his life; to be the yin to his yang, and to enchant.

The very purpose of this post is to help you find a way to ease a man’s tension and give your feminine gifts. But this post is written for women in a relationship.

As a woman, I have found that the task of cheering my man up and comforting him has proven to be very difficult at times. Mostly because I am a woman, not a man; and it has taken a shift in psychology to understand that my perceptions are not my man’s perceptions, and moreover, that when I think he seems emcumbered or stressed and upset; he may not actually be looking for relief from this state he is in. He may not want to change the state he is in, unlike how a woman might by talking about it, being listened to, etc.

Like most women, if my girlfriendsare upset, I naturally ask something along the lines of:

“Are you OK honey?”

“What’s going on?”

“What’s happening?”

“Can I help?”

“Are you upset?”

“Do you want to talk?”

“I’m here for you.”

And if you probe enough and show enough care, and she trusts you, mostly, women will open up to you and talk (got to love women) what wonderful creatures we are!

But, when dealing with men, asking these questions is not always the best approach. Your task really is to give your feminine energy.

Counter-intuitive though it is – if your man is masculine and he is having financial troubles for example, it is rarely the right solution to offer your financial help, or to offer to go out and get a job or to offer your knowledge in financial investment (raising my hand to show that I’ve made this mistake before). Stupid. Stupid.

And it’s very, very hard not to want to offer this solution because it’s how we have been conditioned as women in most cultures today! And even if I tell you, instead, give your feminine energy – you may ask “how?! I’ve never been taught!!”

Feminine women care about everything. So, you’re probably like me in that you’ll be sad and wanting to do everything that you can to help if your man seems down. Well, this everything that I’m talking about is simply giving your feminine energy.

You could guess what my initial reactions were when I first encountered my man’s stressed-out looks, during the earlier period of our relationship. I would often take his mood as a sign of lack of affection or love for ME. I would think that it was about me. I’d think that he was angry at me, hated me, was judging me, or found me a nuisance. I would think ‘OMG, he thinks I’m ugly right now’. Or ‘he doesn’t care about me anymore’. ‘He’s so cold’. Or ‘he’s so arrogant!!’

As I have come to realize; it was never any of these things. He has never judged me. Never. I know that in my heart of hearts. But as a woman, you will know what I mean when I say that we tend to close up and get uptight and scared when our man seems to go away or get caught up for days on some problem that he needs to fix. And when he won’t open up to us; we fret. The majority of men are never judging us women as much as we think they are (if at all).

On giving or offering your ‘solutions’…..
Perhaps your man has a demanding career that requires he work outside of traditional working hours. Perhaps he just often seems to be dealing with this or that dilemma. Perhaps he is lacking sleep or rest.

And in relationships, this is probably one of the hardest things a woman will have to deal with. Of course, most of us have been taught to just approach the problem with a solution. To give advice.

No.

No giving advice unless you have been asked to. And no, this isn’t because I think you should be a docile, useless, frail woman. It’s because your job (as well as your man’s) in relationship is to give and to understand. And no masculine man wants his woman to approach him with a bunch of instructions.

Hell. No.

As soon as you approach him and start to offer “answers”, this will make him feel like he is not understood by you.

Rest assured, there will be a time for this. And, when it arises – when he asks for your input, tread carefully, and always come from a loving place.

nice @op