Am a victim of tribal difference a bleeding hearth and need to air my mind.
Will this Tribal war ever stop?
Why is their so much hatred among the Yoruba and The Igbos
It hurts to the soul to see that in this modern generation our parents will still let TRIBALISM LEAD there hearts and decisions instead of LOVE
I have been dating her for two years with all sincerity and loved her to the soul, its beyond what I can easily explain and she love me too.The mother will say ''just tell him to be ready to build two houses'' usually said with joke. With hope and Love I kept on and I was Loving harder.... I offered all the love I could and ever gathered on earth. We prayed about it and it was told that her families won't accept westerner and even if they accept they will cause alot of trouble in the future but with this she sounded strong and we were ready to pray it out. She then traveled to the East with the hope of having a hearth to hearth discussion with her mother but Surprisingly at the point of discussing marriage they started this problem of Tribal issues and saying Lagos is too far from Enugu, whereas this lay has been staying in Lagos for over 12 years. Just today the 4th Of November the lady called me after all pressure, what I call ( fearful brain washing) and treat of death by her mother she finally surrender to them her family members and she was told not to pick a husband from the West or North but if she picks among themselves in the East they will allow her. She normally gives me hope but suddenly all hopes are gone and my life i must say will not remain the same because I offered ALL MY HEARTH TO HER. It feels like the end of my life. CAN I STILL GET BACK TO MY FEET?

Hmmm, I feel your pain and truly sorry for what you are going through. Lucky you are a man and can pick any lady of your choice in the nearest future. A friend called me yesterday, crying her heart out that a man she's been dating for over 10yrs just call it quit all because his mum doesn't like her 'cos she's from imo while he's from anambra and this is the same guy that has been on his knees begging her to stay with him when he had nothing. Pls take heart and know that she isn't meant for you, cos if she was, she'd fight for her heart and love...I've seen such.

jopretty:
Hmmm, I feel your pain and truly sorry for what you are going through. Lucky you are a man and can pick any lady of your choice in the nearest future. A friend called me yesterday, crying her heart out that a man she's been dating for over 10yrs just call it quit all because his mum doesn't like her 'cos she's from imo while he's from anambra and this is the same guy that has been on his knees begging her to stay with him when he had nothing. Pls take heart and know that she isn't meant for you, cos if she was, she'd fight for her heart and love...I've seen such.

thanks its just that am so down that I dont know what to do or how to get out of this pains and bitter esperience

Until we start doing the right thing and forget what our parents say....some of us follow advise sheepishly.so my parent will tell me not to marry an anambra man and am from imo....what if I bring a Fulani man....!!!...Do the right thing and tell your children good things.....the stories and history our parents say of. Another tribe is not fair..live and let's live!!!

Listen to music and don't forget to cry out in your inner room. It'll help the pain go away

DarlingtonJ:

thanks its just that am so down that I dont know what to do or how to get out of this pains and bitter esperience

Most times I blame we the youths, our parents have lived their lives and still want to 'live' ours for us and we dance to their tune all because we don't want to offend them. Question I ask is, what if the man/woman we are meant to marry is from the 'forbidden' tribe, do we still listen to our parents?

babyfaceafrica:
Until we start doing the right thing and forget what our parents say....some of us follow advise sheepishly.so my parent will tell me not to marry an anambra man and am from imo....what if I bring a Fulani man....!!!...Do the right thing and tell your children good things.....the stories and history our parents say of. Another tribe is not fair..live and let's live!!!

Well, move on bro.that is part of stories to tell in future.
But why is your heart is a glass type? Broken into pieces just like that?

taoheedoriloye:
Well, move on bro.that is part of stories to tell in future.
But why is your heart is a glass type? Broken into pieces just like that?

you simply dont undrstand what it means to give ALL, I mean ALL. My main problem is what can we do to stop this tribal war it is causing our generation alot of problems, should parents still be choosing for their children at this age? i KNOW ALOT OF PEOPLE WILL BE GOING THROUGH THIS SAME THING IN SILENCE and are dieing inside but I feel its time for Nigerian youths to stand up against TRIBALISM. Its time we start choosing what we want for ourselves... we are not just the leaders of tomorow our leadership should start from today!!!

Touching stories we get to hear when people let 'old' folks who have lived their lives to control and dictate for them.

babyfaceafrica:
Until we start doing the right thing and forget what our parents say....some of us follow advise sheepishly.so my parent will tell me not to marry an anambra man and am from imo....what if I bring a Fulani man....!!!...Do the right thing and tell your children good things.....the stories and history our parents say of. Another tribe is not fair..live and let's live!!!

Any lady Igbo or not dating an Anambra man and you arent from Anambra is wasting ur time on earth,they'll never marry a non Anam.
Anam ppl are the most egotistical and tribalistic ppl I know ,that is for those looking their way I mean

Abiagirl777:


Any lady Igbo or not dating an Anambra man and you arent from Anambra is wasting ur time on earth,they'll never marry a non Anam.
Anam ppl are the most egotistical and tribalistic ppl I know ,that is for those looking their way I mean

and they will say they are one and united,when you can't even marry someone outside your state,even if it is the same tribe..chai!!!!!

love lost can never be regained. the igbos ( my ethnicity) still hold alot of grudge against Nigeria and even other ethnicity that played a part in the massacre of it people. if it where to be an Ibibio man now, we hesitate to give our brides out. awolowo was the one who proposed the blocked of food meant for dying women and children. that enough to start a tribal war. Yoruba men are promiscuous without remorse.!

OMAR12:
l[s]ove lost can never be regained. the igbos ( my ethnicity) still hold alot of grudge against Nigeria and even other ethnicity that played a part in the massacre of it people. if it where to be an Ibibio man now, we hesitate to give our brides out. awolowo was the one who proposed the blocked of food meant for dying women and children. that enough to start a tribal war. Yoruba men are promiscuous without remorse.[/s]!

continue blaming awolowo. But just think of it u are fighting someone and u are feeding that person, is that not foolishness. Moreover stopage of food won the war quickly and it save more igbos from dying. Just look beyond ur tribal sentiment and kiss the truth. Awolowo and yorubas have no apologies to offer igbos

orimsamsam:
continue blaming awolowo. But just think of it u are fighting someone and u are feeding that person, is that not foolishness. Moreover stopage of food won the war quickly and it save more igbos from dying. Just look beyond ur tribal sentiment and kiss the truth. Awolowo and yorubas have no apologies to offer igbos

that your business, who needs ur apologies?. now the casualties suffered from that single act alone was more than the entire military men killed on both side. so tell me, which was far greater, the casualties of the military men or the innocent souls starved to death. if the war had continued without that declaration and blocked of food we would have know who truly won the war. if the blocked of food didn't happen, the casualties would have been less than 800,000 soldiers. u do not have an excuse for consciously killing innocent women and children who where civilians.

Abiagirl777:


Any lady Igbo or not dating an Anambra man and you arent from Anambra is wasting ur time on earth,they'll never marry a non Anam.
Anam ppl are the most egotistical and tribalistic ppl I know ,that is for those looking their way I mean

I don't know how true this is, BT if true, then anambrans are taking this too far. ihiala is not far from mbaitoli so if a man from ihiala wants to marry an mbaitoli woman, the mother would not concor for what nah. this is the more reason why Biafra or regional system of government would make sense. back then no body knows anything called anambra or IMO. in the biafran system of government as well there will be nothing like anambra or IMO. everybody go and answer the name of those provinces he finds his village under.

OMAR12:
that your business, who needs ur apologies?. now the casualties suffered from that single act alone was more than the entire military men killed on both side. so tell me, which was far greater, the casualties of the military men or the innocent souls starved to death. if the war had continued without that declaration and blocked of food we would have know who truly won the war. if the blocked of food didn't happen, the casualties would have been less than 800,000 soldiers. u do not have an excuse for consciously killing innocent women and children who where civilians.

I think it is better to be fear and Irrational about this issue. Do you realy mean you are holding back all those grogginess in your hearth these this happened decades ago and any leader who is preaching or teaching you to block the flow of love is your real enemy because i can tell you that '' nothing good comes out of hate''!!! all you need is a bit of love and your wounds will be healed beside this same yorubas you talk against are not Awolowo and they have shown love in many ways and have accommodate the Igbos for decades and ain't complaining and will continue to accomodate and welcome them till forever because of the love for peace/peacefull co-existence . This does not mean Yorubas are perfect neither are the Igbos perfect although choices, languages may be differnt but LOVE is a universal language that EVERY MAN HEARS, FEELS, KNOWS AND UNDERSTANDS and FORGIVENESS IS KEY. Even animals knows the meaning of love, they hear it, they feel and they show it also much more we humans. Love is a language understood by even the blind and the deaf. My question to you is being a normal human, LOVE or HATE which would you prefer

DarlingtonJ:
I think it is better to be fear and Irrational about this issue. Do you realy mean you are holding back all those grogginess in your hearth these this happened decades ago and any leader who is preaching or teaching you to block the flow of love is your real enemy because i can tell you that '' nothing good comes out of hate''!!! all you need is a bit of love and your wounds will be healed beside this same yorubas you talk against are not Awolowo and they have shown love in many ways and have accommodate the Igbos for decades and ain't complaining and will continue to accomodate and welcome them till forever because of the love for peace/peacefull co-existence . This does not mean Yorubas are perfect neither are the Igbos perfect although choices, languages may be differnt but LOVE is a universal language that EVERY MAN HEARS, FEELS, KNOWS AND UNDERSTANDS and FORGIVENESS IS KEY. Even animals knows the meaning of love, they hear it, they feel and they show it also much more we humans. Love is a language understood by even the blind and the deaf. My question to you is being a normal human, LOVE or HATE which would you prefer

Even Hiroshima done Forgive U.S. Haba....... Please let forgive and let love lead.... the youths tell your old ones that we need love in our generation and not transfer of aggression and God will Bless you even more.

DarlingtonJ:
Even Hiroshima done Forgive U.S. Haba....... Please let forgive and let love lead.... the youths tell your old ones that we need love in our generation and not transfer of aggression and God will Bless you even more.[quote]

Lets pass these messages on to our parents and make the world a better place by our own little efforts

i still find it hard to understand wats difficult in marrying your own .it saves you a LOT of drama

jopretty:
Most times I blame we the youths, our parents have lived their lives and still want to 'live' ours for us and we dance to their tune all because we don't want to offend them. Question I ask is, what if the man/woman we are meant to marry is from the 'forbidden' tribe, do we still listen to our parents?

My sister u are so right. Let me use myself as an example. Am from Edo state and the woman I want to marry is togolese and Calabar . My parents where against it especially my mother and even when I wanted to marry from my place they still stood against it because it's not what dey want. I admit it was a foolish thing I did for lots of years just because I want to please them and they don't even care about my feelings. Now am holding on tight to this Togolese lady who grew up in Lagos . I simply following my heart not caring what my parents thinks. Am standing on my decision as a man.

catal:
i still find it hard to understand wats difficult in marrying your own .it saves you a LOT of drama

You forget to remember that people don't just choose its the hearth that chooses. In life we do not have the opportunity or privilege to choose our parents, we cant choose the day we want to be born to Earth neither can we choose the day we will die but the only thing we can choose in life is our life partner. Its better to marry your friend than just a husband or wife!!!

boobyman:
My sister u are so right. Let me use myself as an example. Am from Edo state and the woman I want to marry is togolese and Calabar . My parents where against it especially my mother and even when I wanted to marry from my place they still stood against it because it's not what dey want. I admit it was a foolish thing I did for lots of years just because I want to please them and they don't even care about my feelings. Now am holding on tight to this Togolese lady who grew up in Lagos . I simply following my heart not caring what my parents thinks. Am standing on my decision as a man.

You will soon realize that is the happiest decision you have ever made in life because that is how it works. You follow you hearth and you find happiness

DarlingtonJ:
You forget to remember that people don't just choose its the hearth that chooses. In life we do not have the opportunity or privilege to choose our parents, we cant choose the day we want to be born to Earth neither can we choose the day we will die but the only thing we can choose in life is our life partner. Its better to marry your friend than just a husband or wife!!!

I understand your point ,but unless you choose to deny that there's no tribal tension in nigeria , you wont blame the parents that are trying to protect their children(especially females). Me, i run as far away from problem and dont just walk into it to see what happens.

catal:
I understand your point ,but unless you choose to deny that there's no tribal tension in nigeria , you wont blame the parents that are trying to protect their children(especially females). Me, i run as far away from problem and dont just walk into it to see what happens.

Thanks for your understanding. YES every good parent will protect their children but who is the problem or WHAT is the problem we are talking about here? its HOLDING BACK LOVE because of the offence of our fathers. Though we are burn by these parents but it does not mean we should or will follow their own ways of life. So it will be justifiable not to judge a son by the fault or offence of the father. THe truth is who soever I LOVE, I WILL NEVER HUT!!! That is my own way of life not my father's.

DarlingtonJ:
Thanks for your understanding. YES every good parent will protect their children but who is the problem or WHAT is the problem we are talking about here? its HOLDING BACK LOVE because of the offence of our fathers. Though we are burn by these parents but it does not mean we should or will follow their own ways of life. So it will be justifiable not to judge a son by the fault or offence of the father. THe truth is who soever I LOVE, I WILL NEVER HUT!!! That is my own way of life not my father's.

I will like to know you better can I have your phone number? am Darlington and my phone number is - 08136975775

That's a good one, bro. I'm not saying disobediece to one parents is right, but when it comes to matters of the heart and future partner, they should let us be. If the only problem parents have with our chosen partner is based on tribe, then they have no reason to hold us back whatsoever.

boobyman:
My sister u are so right. Let me use myself as an example. Am from Edo state and the woman I want to marry is togolese and Calabar . My parents where against it especially my mother and even when I wanted to marry from my place they still stood against it because it's not what dey want. I admit it was a foolish thing I did for lots of years just because I want to please them and they don't even care about my feelings. Now am holding on tight to this Togolese lady who grew up in Lagos . I simply following my heart not caring what my parents thinks. Am standing on my decision as a man.

jopretty:
That's a good one, bro. I'm not saying disobediece to one parents is right, but when it comes to matters of the heart and future partner, they should let us be. If the only problem parents have with our chosen partner is based on tribe, then they have no reason to hold us back whatsoever.

Now what is the best way to pass these messages to our parents because they are not bearing our pains they do not know what we suffer emotionally by the kind of dissensions they make for us. How can we make them understand?

By standing your ground oo. Having a long and meaningful convo with them and backing it up with action. A friends once told his parents that if they stop him from marrying the lady of his choice, he'll keep on killing the wives he'd marry and will accuse them of instigating him. The parents had to let him be...hahhahhahahaa. I wish unmarried singles will stop this "I have to obey my family and marry whom they wish"

DarlingtonJ:
Now what is the best way to pass these messages to our parents because they are not bearing our pains they do not know what we suffer emotionally by the kind of dissensions they make for us. How can we make them understand?

my man aside from what awolowo did that caused the death of millions of my people, Yorubaland is far from home, if a babe from Enugu marries a man from asaba or aba.. it will be quicker for her to rush home should the need arises. especially if she is the first daughter, first daughters are not allowed to marry too far from their village in question. unless their parent are well to do. aside for that ooo, me I won't advice my sister to marry a yorubaman rather she should stay at home, reason being that Yoruba men are not family oriented, I have been in Lagos for more than 20years. the chances that they may cheat on u is 8 out of 10. u can hardly find a Yoruba man that doesn't have a child outside before he turns 24, so ladies shouldn't be surprised if a child pops out from somewhere and claiming ur man to be his daddy.

OMAR12:
my man aside from what awolowo did that caused the death of millions of my people, Yorubaland is far from home, if a babe from Enugu marries a man from asaba or aba.. it will be quicker for her to rush home should the need arises. especially if she is the first daughter, first daughters are not allowed to marry too far from their village in question. unless their parent are well to do. aside for that ooo, me I won't advice my sister to marry a yorubaman rather she should stay at home, reason being that Yoruba men are not family oriented, I have been in Lagos for more than 20years. the chances that they may cheat on u is 8 out of 10. u can hardly find a Yoruba man that doesn't have a child outside before he turns 24, so ladies shouldn't be surprised if a child pops out from somewhere and claiming ur man to be his daddy.

Am laughing in Spanish language hehehehe. Show me a ''perfect'' man and I will tell you his weakness. Stop generalizing issues. Please remember this proverb that says '' Every white pap/akamu/ogi comes out from a black pot'' I hope you understand. Our life is a matter of choice, what make you think your thought is right and even if it is, my brother, '' I AM DIFFERENT and so are YOU too because I am myself not someone else, AND YOU ARE YOURSELF TOO NOT SOMEONE ELSE. Talking about distance, I must say you are wrong because TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO BOUND and no place is too far for LOVE. TRUE LOVE GIVES NO EXCUSE it's only deceitfulness that gives excuse. Brothers and Sisters of my generation PLEASE MARRY FOR LOVE and that may be the first step towards you fulfilling God's will because GOD IS LOVE

DarlingtonJ:
Am laughing in Spanish language hehehehe. Show me a ''perfect'' man and I will tell you his weakness. Stop generalizing issues. Please remember this proverb that says '' Every white pap/akamu/ogi comes out from a black pot'' I hope you understand. Our life is a matter of choice, what make you think your thought is right and even if it is, my brother, '' I AM DIFFERENT and so are YOU too because I am myself not someone else, AND YOU ARE YOURSELF TOO NOT SOMEONE ELSE. Talking about distance, I must say you are wrong because TRUE LOVE KNOWS NO BOUND and no place is too far for LOVE. TRUE LOVE GIVES NO EXCUSE it's only deceitfulness that gives excuse. Brothers and Sisters of my generation PLEASE MARRY FOR LOVE and that may be the first step towards you fulfilling God's will because GOD IS LOVE

bro! so she will be taking care of her parent from miles and miles away bah.. yo talking about love, love for family will always surpass that of an individual. her family's welfare will always come first. that in a way is LOVE. also u can't dispute the fact that both men and women from ur ethnicity are bound to cheat. am not saying that my ethnicity is perfect BT it on a lower side. divorce is also on a higher side when it comes to ur ethnicity due to the complexity of ur society.

OMAR12:
bro! so she will be taking care of her parent from miles and miles away bah.. yo talking about love, love for family will always surpass that of an individual. her family's welfare will always come first. that in a way is LOVE. also u can't dispute the fact that both men and women from ur ethnicity are bound to cheat. am not saying that my ethnicity is perfect BT it on a lower side. divorce is also on a higher side when it comes to ur ethnicity due to the complexity of ur society.

Well, thank you for you view and opinion but my brother, I THINK YOU NEED TO READ MORE and enlighting your mind. What will happen if you relocate close to your inlaws area or vicinity don't u think that is posible, what is wrong if your parents stay with u ? my brother STOP THINKING MICRO! Please think large and you will see a bigger and broader picture of LOVE. When u love a girl you will love her together with all her family. Love is not confined to area or distance LOVE IS VERSATILE and it knows no Bound. Please read the Bible and if u are a Muslim read the Holy Quran, read books, listen to successful lovers and read more about LOVE then your thought and mindset will be refined. Thanks and God Bless you ........