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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? (1644 Views)
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8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 2:01pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Reason 1. Lack of attention and intimacy: How long can you go without receiving love and attention before you look somewhere else? Some can go for only days or weeks, and others can go for years. However, in general, women need and desire intimacy, physical touch, and mental and emotional attention. If you are not receiving this from your husband or boyfriend, it will only be a matter of time and you may seek it from another i.e. a caring guy friend, the attentive guy who feeds your emotional needs at your workplace, or the hot trainer at the gym. Women deprived of attention, compliments, and compassion; usually have emotional affairs. That doesn't mean it won't lead to sex, but initially they crave the attention and compassion that has been absent from their relationship. Reason 2. Revenge: Being cheated on is a very difficult act to forgive. For those of you who have been cheated on, you know how awful it feels. You feel deceived, hurt, angry, sad, numb and even violated. It also affects your self-esteem. At the moment, you find out your man cheated, your whole body begins to shake, you begin to sweat, your stomach drops, and you feel nauseated. Clearly, it negatively affects your relationship, your mood, behavior, and your ability to trust the cheater ever again. When you have been cheated on, some of you may want to get revenge by making them feel the way you felt. This can lead you, to do the cheating next. The biggest truth is that cheating never solves a relationship problem. Communication, assertiveness and increasing passion and romance in your relationship are a much better solution. Reason 3. Bad sex: Women need to feel desired and experience REAL orgasms during sex. If women are getting bad sex, not enough sex, non-emotional sex, or "wham-bam-thank-you-mam" sex, you may eventually lose interest in the relationship and look elsewhere for GOOD sex! This creates a temptation to seek sexual or emotional satisfaction elsewhere. In my opinion, it's best to communicate your needs to your man with the hopes that he will step it up a notch. You can do this on your own or with the help of a sex therapist. Reason 4. Weight loss/plastic surgery: Male attention increases quickly after a boob job, a butt implant or weight loss, and so does your self-confidence. With all this male attention, your temptation to cheat rises, and it takes more self-control to resist some of those male offers. Once you realize other guys want you, your desire to act on it may have you feeling euphoric. However, be careful, act wisely and make your pros and cons list. Reason 5. Financial independence: When you feel financially dependent on your husband or boyfriend, it's more difficult to speak up in arguments or leave the relationship. The fear of being alone and financially unstable keeps you in a one-down position. Now that women make their own money, enjoy working, and are good at it, the need to stay in an unhappy relationship is not necessary. That feeling of power and independence can be like seeing the red carpet laid out for you; all the way to those other fish in the sea. Reason 6. Low self-esteem: When you feel insecure about yourself, you have a need to seek validation from others. This can be in the form of sexual, emotional, or intellectual attention. When you don't love or value yourself, you may project that onto the person you are in a relationship with, and believe they don't love or value you. Even if your husband or boyfriend loves you greatly, you still may cheat because you find it hard to accept their unconditional love. I suggest reading one of the many self-help books out there on building your self-esteem, or get some counseling to help improve self-confidence. Reason 7. Feeling under-appreciated: When you are in a relationship, you like to please your man. Cooking a romantic dinner, buying sexy lingerie, and listening with your heart, are just a few ways you may show your love and appreciation. So what happens when you don't hear "thank you, please or I love you.” Holidays and birthdays come and you don't receive anything meaningful, nothing at all, not even a verbal acknowledgment. We all have thresholds, and once yours is reached, you may decide to act on a "thank you, please, or I love you" coming from another direction. Let your man know he may lose you if he continues to take you for granted. Reason 8. Bored: He doesn't spray on that good smelling cologne anymore, his clothing is wrinkled, stained or way out-of- date. When he comes home from work (assuming he has a job), it's the same old thing; "what's for dinner"? When the weekend comes, he says he's tired and just wants to relax at home, or go out to the same sports bar you go every weekend. The routine is the same over and over again. You are no longer on the same page. You barely have anything in common. You are feeling emotionally distant from him. You find yourself looking at other prospects and fantasize about being with someone else. You begin to feel excited (something you haven't felt in "forever" just thinking about it. There are many ways to spice up an old, tired relationship. Boredom is something that can be resolved with a little, or sometimes a moderate amount of effort. It requires both of you introducing new ideas and behaviors, and some spontaneity. Be sure of what you want. Culled From Palmchat 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 2:02pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Nope. You can't blame them Modified : After reading op; I say why not just move on. Nothing justifies hurting another person. If you can't be blamed for cheating then change your man. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by modsRbastard: 2:07pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999: But everyone will be accountable for their actions. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 2:14pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
modsRbastard: Yeah. You're right |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 2:22pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999:How many men can handle breakup? |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 2:35pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ibibiofirstlady: A lot more than those who can handle a cheating partner. To cheat is a waste of time. If you have no respect for the man and you're in the relationship for some personal gain that you can't do without then at least be honest with yourself don't use those excuses up there. But karma is wicked so don't cry when it's your turn. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Laveda(f): 2:39pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999: Well said, nothing justifies cheating.. Leaving is way better than hurting that person intentionally. 1 Like |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by modsRbastard: 2:40pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ibibiofirstlady: I do, I did handle it. Don't know how much more I can take. I don't know why people have to cheat for a breakup. If you're tired of the relationship just simply put it out and go your way. It's hard enough that you have to leave...don't add salt to injury. Meanwhile... Your comment only affirms that men are more committed and love more in relationship...if not, why would it be so hard to handle a breakup. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by MilesLamar(m): 2:43pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ha |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 3:07pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999:I disagree Dear. That a woman cheats doesn't mean she wants breakup. And some men will never take breakup, they see it as betrayal |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 3:07pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
modsRbastard:I don't think you have experienced seeing the girl you love just walk away |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 3:11pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Laveda: I know right, the things listed in the op should be deal breaks rather than a reason to cheat. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 3:13pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ibibiofirstlady:And cheating is what if leaving is betrayal |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 3:20pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
There is no valid reason for cheating. Either get out of a relationship or don't commit if you are allergic to commitment. Relationships come with expectations fidelity being one of the main ones. If you are running low in that department go solo. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 3:26pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999:Nobody get caught, nobody get hurt |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 3:43pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Raine80:It isn't as easy as you make it sound |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 3:45pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ibibiofirstlady: Girl you baaadt I don't have it in me to cheat. I'm too emotional and too lazy to keep up with my lies. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 3:52pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999:Boys think only them deserve variety, you know good can can always turn bad... Baad baad |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by modsRbastard: 4:09pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ibibiofirstlady: Been there, different scenerio. It's one of the most traumatic and psychologically depressing moment. Hence why i said it's hard enough that she had to leave but cheating to facilitate the leaving is the salt to injury. Look...I've loved and I've lost. Dated a beautiful girl who sees through my BS, we stood by each other for 7yrs of a blissful relationship. I was privileged to make her a woman... If you know what that means; but I had to let her go when when I realized I couldn't give her what she wanted at the moment; tho she told me she would wait for me cos I had only graduated at the time; but depression took her over with mounting pressure from her family and friends to marry cos she wasn't getting any younger. I love her so much but I couldn't bear the thought of bringing a child into this world without a better life than I have. I promised my unborn child they would have it easy when they come so I refuse to rush into that matrimonial life. Today.... She's married and she calls me once in a while, but she's still very bitter that we part and blames me for it but I don't blame her cos I understand. I keep my emotions from her cos I want her heart be with her husband. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by modsRbastard: 4:14pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999: I love you already ... Let me help you with the pinshure 1 Like
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Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by numericalguy(m): 4:20pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Nope.. Why should we blame them. We should throw them a party and give them awards. Nonsense OP advocating for cheats. There is no excuse under the sun for cheating. If for any reason you are not happy in any relationship, the only solution is to walk. Cheating is for people who are morally bankrupt and with low self esteem. Stop disgracing the good people of Ibibio land. |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by modsRbastard: 4:22pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999: Disloyal lol I don't know what point she's trying to buttress ooo, what happened to calling a spade a spade |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 4:30pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
modsRbastard: She's young and pretty and I think she got hurt maybe. But she'll understand one day |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 4:31pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
modsRbastard: I'm telling you ain't na body gat tyyyme for that I got a full time job |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by ibibiofirstlady(f): 4:34pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
modsRbastard:very touching indeed but that is different boo |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by modsRbastard: 4:48pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
Dimples999: I hope she does sooner, else her glory hole will suffer ehn. Cheating to get back at your man is not an excuse to be HOE . |
Re: 8 Valid Reasons Why Women Cheat... Should We Blame Women That Cheat? by Nobody: 6:24pm On Nov 10, 2016 |
ibibiofirstlady:It is if you do not allow social rules to dictate your marital status. If not then this is when a couple bitterly unhappy with each other start looking elsewhere. They stay together because its viewed socially acceptable to maintain what's in actual fact a facade of a relationship. Compatability is not viewed as an important aspect when pairing these days and that's the problem. |
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