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When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy - Islam for Muslims - Nairaland

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When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by balash(m): 8:24am On Nov 11, 2016
The husband is obliged to spend on his wife’s maintenance, on a reasonable basis, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means”

[an-Nisa’ 4:34]

“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him”

[at-Talaaq 65:7]. 

It was narrated that Mu‘aawiyah al-Qushayri (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I said: O Messenger of Allah, what are the rights of the wife of one of us over him? He said: “That you feed her as you feed yourself, clothe her as you clothe yourself, do not strike the face, do not disgrace her and if you want to shun her (by way of disciplining her) do not leave home.” 

If the husband fails to spend on his wife’s maintenance, then she has the choice of leaving him or putting up with him. 

If she chooses to put up with him, in the hope that he will change, if he is withholding her maintenance out of miserliness and stinginess, or until his financial situation improves, if he is not well off, then she is not obliged to allow him to be intimate with her. 

Ash-Shiraazi ash-Shaafa‘i said in al-Muhadhdhab fi Fiqh al-Imam ash-Shaafa‘i (3/155):

If she chooses to stay after he becomes unable to spend on her, she is not obliged to allow him to be intimate with her, and she may leave his house, because allowing intimacy is in return for maintenance, so it is not obligatory when there is no maintenance. End quote.

Muhammad Najeeb al-Mutee‘i said in his Sharh (20/169): 

If it is proven that the husband is no longer able to spend on her, she has the choice of three options: she may annul the marriage; she may stay with him and allow him to be intimate with her, and it is her right that she should spend on her whatever he is able to spend; or she may remain married to him, without having to allow him to be intimate with her – rather she may leave his house, because allowing intimacy is only obligatory upon her when he spends on her maintenance, but he is not doing so in this case, but she is not entitled to maintenance when she is keeping herself away from him, because maintenance is only enjoined in return for allowing intimacy, but in this case she is not allowing him to be intimate with her. End quote. 

Al-Bahooti (may Allah have mercy on him) said in Kashshaaf al-Qinaa‘ (5/477): 

She has the right to remain in the marriage and not allow him to be intimate with her, so she does not have to allow intimacy or reside in his house, and he must not detain her; rather he should let her earn money, even if she is well off, because he has not given her anything in return for intimacy with her. End quote. 

However we should draw the wife’s attention to the fact that refusing intimacy with the aim of making him mend his ways, correcting his behaviour and the like is a means of amending and correcting someone’s behaviour in which attention should be paid to the husband’s condition and character, and the negative outcomes that may result from that, as well as the hoped-for benefits. It may make some husbands escalate the quarrel and become stubborn and get angry with his wife if she does such a thing, and he would forget his own shortcomings and the wife’s aim of reforming him, to the point that he ends up destroying the marriage. 

So be very careful, lest you make matters worse between yourself and your husband when you are trying to put things right. Look carefully at your husband’s situation and what you think will have a positive impact on him; if you have a right over him, be wise and prudent in exercising your rights.

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by balash(m): 8:26am On Nov 11, 2016
CC: Sissie
Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by Nobody: 12:10pm On Nov 11, 2016


No

She needs to go get a job and buy anything she wants

The same woman will leave her husband and jump to another man if her husband becomes poor

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by womenareevil: 12:35pm On Nov 11, 2016
No be yansh full everywhere!

Make she refuse! Once i drill the people she know and she find out, she will open that holed by fire by force.

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by SweetyZinta(f): 12:39pm On Nov 11, 2016
Masha Allahu, May Allah provide the means for those who are poor and Forgive those who have the means and will rather spend on the wrong people

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by goingape1: 12:39pm On Nov 11, 2016
ohhh!


so in islam women refuse to give men sex when the men refuse to give them 50naira for food stuff?


never know there is such a law in islam.

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by evesdon4u: 1:14pm On Nov 11, 2016
SweetyZinta:
Masha Allahu, May Allah provide the means for those who are poor and Forgive those who have the means and will rather spend on the wrong people



Thank you for this beautiful prayer....
Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by SweetyZinta(f): 1:18pm On Nov 11, 2016
evesdon4u:




Thank you for this beautiful prayer....
Allahumma Amin
Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by Beeman1(m): 1:52pm On Nov 11, 2016
May Allah be plss with us all.
Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by HAH: 3:48pm On Nov 11, 2016
goingape1:
ohhh!


so in islam women refuse to give men sex when the men refuse to give them 50naira for food stuff?


never know there is such a law in islam.

The quran never say a wife should deny sex when not taken care of but made it clear that it is the responsibility of the husband to take care of the wife.

Sex is the primary reason for marriage and when there is none there is valid reason for separation. So any woman that deny her husband sex is making a sin as sex is part of ibada furthermore she is risking her marriage and also it is the responsibility of the man to take care of her, i.e food, clothing and shelter unless otherwise agreed

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by uboma(m): 3:56pm On Nov 11, 2016
If the man has the means but refuses to cater for the BASIC needs of his wife, then I see no reason why the same woman should satisfy her husband's sexual needs.

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by Nobody: 5:22pm On Nov 11, 2016
goingape1:
ohhh!


so in islam women refuse to give men sex when the men refuse to give them 50naira for food stuff?


never know there is such a law in islam.

The point is that if he denies her her rights on him, she may deny him his rights on her. It is not about N50. Did you not read the part where it states 'he must provide her with the same type of food he eats', or are you deliberately trying to be obtuse.

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by goingape1: 5:55pm On Nov 11, 2016
Farmerforlife:


The point is that if he denies her her rights on him, she may deny him his rights on her. It is not about N50. Did you not read the part where it states 'he must provide her with the same type of food he eats', or are you deliberately trying to be obtuse.
have you been in the north to see how much those Muslim give there wife for food?
Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by disco82: 6:14pm On Nov 11, 2016
goingape1:
have you been in the north to see how much those Muslim give there wife for food?
Northerner takes good care of wife than southern. Even those that sell ordinary biscuit and water melon on the road, if you see their wives.
I served in d north , so I know

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Re: When A Husband Refuses To Spend On His Wife, Can She Refuse Him Intimacy by Nobody: 6:26pm On Nov 11, 2016
goingape1:
have you been in the north to see how much those Muslim give there wife for food?

I have been to the North, and obviously what they give their wives would differ, I do not believe that Dangote gives his wife N50 for food, but that is beside the point. The Islamic law requires that Muslim husbands maintain an equal level of feeding for all their family members. What some people do in North, South, East or West has nothing to do with this law.

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