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Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? - Family - Nairaland

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Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:06pm On Nov 21, 2016
Is it morally right to have kids? This might seem like a weird question, but in my opinion, it's a really important question to ask, especially to Nigerians, who view having children as a marital achievement.

Given the nature of our world, and the overt futility of our existence, is having kids the sensible, morally upright thing to do? Is it right to bring humans into this world, despite acknowledging the persistent struggle, pain and intermittent suffering that defines the existence of humans?

Why do people have children? Why do people feel the need to birth new humans into the world? Do people who give birth actually evaluate the nature and consequences of their decision? Because when one looks at it critically, the decision to have kids is born of selfishness and a desperate need to conform to societal standards, which prevents the individual, or consenting individuals, from actually considering the effect of their decision on the life that they want to create and belch into this world.

I really want to be convinced that there is actually a tenable reason for having kids, that is not draped in selfishness, ignorance and blind, sheepish conformity.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:13pm On Nov 21, 2016
The human race would go extinct – that's being selfish towards Nature.

And to answer your question, it isn't morally wrong.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by talktonase(m): 5:18pm On Nov 21, 2016
Yes of course! What use is the kpekus and joystick made for if not for procreation...
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:25pm On Nov 21, 2016
DarkRebel101:
The human race would go extinct – that's being selfish towards Nature.

And to answer your question, it isn't morally wrong.

How would the extinction of the human race be a selfish action towards nature? Our existence in nature and the inordinate proliferation of our species, is unwholesome and immensely deleterious to nature. I think the extinction of our race would be appreciated by nature.

Think about the deliberate actions of man that has led to the extinction of animals, the destruction of plant life and the pollution of the biosphere. Our existence is doing nature more harm than good. The balance of nature can be kept without the existence of homo sapiens.

Why isn't it morally wrong?

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Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:30pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:

How would the extinction of the human race be a selfish action towards nature? Our existence in nature and the inordinate proliferation of our species, is unwholesome and immensely deleterious to nature. I think the extinction of our race would be appreciated by nature.

Not true.


Think about the deliberate actions of man that has led to the extinction of animals, the destruction of plant life and the pollution of the biosphere. Our existence is doing nature more harm than good. The balance of nature can be kept without the existence of homo sapiens.

Why isn't it morally wrong?

I don't have time to argue out something that has an obvious answer. Having kids is not morally wrong. Even if it were, there's nothing you can do about it.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 5:31pm On Nov 21, 2016
This OP needs to take a much needed break at the beach.

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Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:34pm On Nov 21, 2016
talktonase:
Yes of course! What use is the kpekus and joystick made for if not for procreation...

I could also apply your logic and say, since the teeth is used for biting, then I should go around biting people. But is my doing so justifiable, given the harm done by my action? No.

Because you have been naturally endowed with certain traits, doesn't mean you should use such traits, especially given the fact that we are conscious species that have the ability to consider the consequences of an action before carrying it out.

It requires a certain amount of intellectual sincerity and empathy to realize the harm that procreation does to our society, especially to those we selfishly choose to procreate, and it seems lots of people tend not to possess these traits.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:35pm On Nov 21, 2016
Ishilove:
This OP needs to take a much needed break at the beach.

Why?
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:36pm On Nov 21, 2016
DarkRebel101:


Not true.

I don't have time to argue out something that has an obvious answer. Having kids is not morally wrong. Even if it were, there's nothing you can do about it.

How is it not morally wrong? You are just mincing words.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 5:36pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


Why?
Because you're all tensed up and don't seem to be having a lot of fun.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 5:37pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear, define 'morality'. Let's start from there.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 5:39pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


I could also apply your logic and say, since the teeth is used for biting, then I should go around biting people. But is my doing so justifiable, given the harm done by my action? No.

Because you have been naturally endowed with certain traits, doesn't mean you should use such traits, especially given the fact that we are conscious species that have the ability to consider the consequences of an action before carrying it out.

It requires a certain amount of intellectual sincerity and empathy to realize the harm that procreation does to our society, especially to those we selfishly choose to procreate, and it seems lots of people tend not to possess these traits.
So you admit that your birth has done more harm to nature than good?
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by talktonase(m): 5:44pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


I could also apply your logic and say, since the teeth is used for biting, then I should go around biting people. But is my doing so justifiable, given the harm done by my action? No.

Because you have been naturally endowed with certain traits, doesn't mean you should use such traits, especially given the fact that we are conscious species that have the ability to consider the consequences of an action before carrying it out.

It requires a certain amount of intellectual sincerity and empathy to realize the harm that procreation does to our society, especially to those we selfishly choose to procreate, and it seems lots of people tend not to possess these traits.
simply say you dont like children and cut all the intellectual speech short...you will not be alive today if not for your parents ingenuity to utilize gifted traits that they possess.

1 Like

Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:52pm On Nov 21, 2016
Ishilove:
GrizzlyBear, define 'morality'. Let's start from there.

In my opinion, the concept of morality revolves around the nature and consequences of our actions, and how these actions affect the wellbeing of other sentient beings.

So, by definition, a moral action is one that has positive effects on the well being of other sentient beings; one that patently maximizes their happiness and attenuates their suffering, and one that provides a healthy environment that positively enhances their physically, psychological and emotionally experiences.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 5:54pm On Nov 21, 2016
Ishilove:

So you admit that your birth has done more harm to nature than good?

Yes it has, so has yours.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by missjo(f): 6:01pm On Nov 21, 2016
I think your question should have been, Is it morally right to get married?

This is a more suitable question because I can't think of any other logical reason people get married except to have kids. You can love and spend the rest of your life with someone without marrying them.

Birthing kids is a marital achievement whether we like to admit it or not.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 6:06pm On Nov 21, 2016
talktonase:
simply say you dont like children and cut all the intellectual speech short...you will not be alive today if not for your parents ingenuity to utilize gifted traits that they possess.

Actually, my reason for creating this thread was born out of a genuine love for children. Why give birth to them when you know fully well that they are going to suffer and struggle all the days of their life? Why give birth to them when you know that they might grow up to not love themselves? Why give birth to them despite acknowledging that they are destined to experience pain, suffering, diseases, disappointment and heartbreaks?

Do you think my being born is something I applaud my parents for, or something any intellectually sincere person would thank his parents for? My parents gave birth to me out of a consensual desire to have kids to satisfy their marital needs, not because they critically considered the circumstances of my being born.

I am asking a simple question. Is it moral to have kids? I am not forcing anyone to not have kids, I just want honest answers.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 6:28pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


In my opinion, the concept of morality revolves around the nature and consequences of our actions, and how these actions affect the wellbeing of other sentient beings.

So, by definition, a moral action is one that has positive effects on the well being of other sentient beings; one that patently maximizes their happiness and attenuates their suffering, and one that provides a healthy environment that positively enhances their physically, psychological and emotionally experiences.
You just answered the question you asked in the OP.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 6:30pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


Yes it has, so has yours.
Can you shed more light on these societal and natural harm which 'our' births have caused?
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by talktonase(m): 6:31pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


Actually, my reason for creating this thread was born out of a genuine love for children. Why give birth to them when you know fully well that they are going to suffer and struggle all the days of their life? Why give birth to them when you know that they might grow up to not love themselves? Why give birth to them despite acknowledging that they are destined to experience pain, suffering, diseases, disappointment and heartbreaks?

Do you think my being born is something I applaud my parents for, or something any intellectually sincere person would thank his parents for? My parents gave birth to me out of the consensual desire to have kids to satisfy their marital needs, not because they critically considered the circumstances of my being born.

I am asking a simple question. Is it moral to have kids? I am not forcing anyone to not have kids, I just want honest answers.
My response to this is strictly Biblical!!!
Truth be told after the fall of man in the garden of Eden due to his disobedience a pronouncement was made on both parties and after that man persisted in his wicked ways and God had to destroy earth but promised never to do so again.
My point is that man has continuously been disobedient from time immemorial.God wants us to look upon him despite our challenging circumstances.(Theodicy) lets recognise his magnanimity and goodness in spite of our troubles. The book of Job explains it all.This is a man who had it all but lost everything.Despite the challenge he never wavered in his faith in God and because of his belief God replenished all in ten folds...Suffering is part of human nature and it occurs only to streamline us to the supreme being(God). Bringing children to this world should be a blessing.We should continue to reverence him in our challenging circumstances.As we await his coming to take us away from this wicked and painful world,I believe the holy sprit will continue to strengthen and speak to our hearts.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 6:32pm On Nov 21, 2016
Ishilove:

You just answered the question you asked in the OP.

How? Please provide an elaborate answer.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 6:44pm On Nov 21, 2016
Ishilove:

Can you shed more light on these societal and natural harm which 'our' births have caused?

You asked if 'our' births have harmed nature, and that's what I'll address.

Yes, our existence constantly harms nature, and poses a huge threat to it's sustenance and proper functioning. We are sources of pollution to nature. We use cars and generators. Cars and generators release gases like CO2 that are harmful to the environment and ourselves. We utilize certain chemicals and devices that pollute the atmosphere by increasing the level of CFC gases, the major cause of global warming.

By normal mathematics, our being born potentiates the expansion of the population of humans on earth, which isn't favorable for the earth, because it doesn't have enough resources to cater for too many people.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 6:55pm On Nov 21, 2016
talktonase:
My response to this is strictly Biblical!!!
Truth be told after the fall of man in the garden of Eden due to his disobedience a pronouncement was made on both parties and after that man persisted in his wicked ways and God had to destroy earth but promised never to do so again.
My point is that man has continuously been disobedient from time immemorial.God wants us to look upon him despite our challenging circumstances.(Theodicy) lets recognise his magnanimity and goodness in spite of our troubles. The book of Job explains it all.This is a man who had it all but lost everything.Despite the challenge he never wavered in his faith in God and because of his belief God replenished all in ten folds...Suffering is part of human nature and it occurs only to streamline us to the supreme being(God). Bringing children to this world should be a blessing.We should continue to reverence him in our challenging circumstances.As we await his coming to take us away from this wicked and painful world,I believe the holy sprit will continue to strengthen and speak to our hearts.

So your only justification for deciding to give birth comes from the bible? Really?

And I am surprised you are citing the story of job to reinforce your position, because that's a morally reprehensible story. It boggles my mind how people tend to detach themselves from the suffering and death of Job's children, as if they weren't human beings.

Bringing children into this world is a selfish act because you regard it as a blessing for yourself. It's just for you. It's like winning a medal. That's what these children are to you, just trophies. You don't consider their lives. All you want is to satisfy your desires of having children. This is what's morally impermissible about this decision.

So you agree that the world is wicked and painful, but you still decide to bring people into it? You believe that there is hell, but you still decide to bring people into a 'sinful' world, despite knowing that there is a probability that they'd go to this hell?
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Ishilove: 7:01pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


You asked if 'our' births have harmed nature, and that's what I'll address.

Yes, our existence constantly harms nature, and poses a huge threat to it's sustenance and proper functioning. We are sources of pollution to nature. We use cars and generators. Cars and generators release gases like CO2 that are harmful to the environment and ourselves. We utilize certain chemicals and devices that pollute the atmosphere by increasing the level of CFC gases, the major cause of global warming.

By normal mathematics, our being born potentiates the expansion of the population of humans on earth, which isn't favorable for the earth, because it doesn't have enough resources to cater for too many people.
So the best way for the earth to survive is for man to go extinct?
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 7:23pm On Nov 21, 2016
Ishilove:

So the best way for the earth to survive is for man to go extinct?


Yes, or a massive cut down of our population through selective sterilization, but this would still devolve to the same problem after few years.

Nature has been designed in a way that it creates balance in itself. That's what natural selection does. But humans through strides in medicine and technology, have bypassed natural selection, albeit for good reasons like reducing mortality rates, increasing natality rates and improving the health of our species.
The average life span of humans is progressively increasing yearly. There will come a time when we would have a cure for almost every disease, and a time when our average lifespan would be 20 years more than what it is today. If this happens, there would be a massive upsurge in world population. We would think that we are helping ourselves, but we would just be plunging into our doom and the doom of our innocent planet.

And given the progress we are making in the area of artificial intelligence, it's definitely not a non probability that we would one day create artificial intelligence that would be smarter and more efficient than us, and would possibly control and destroy us and our world.

But this is a deviation from the premise of my thread. My question is, is it morally right to have kids?
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by talktonase(m): 8:05pm On Nov 21, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


So your only justification for deciding to give birth comes from the bible? Really?

And I am surprised you are citing the story of job to reinforce your position, because that's a morally reprehensible story. It boggles my mind how people tend to detach themselves from the suffering and death of Job's children, as if they weren't human beings.

Bringing children into this world is a selfish act because you regard it as a blessing for yourself. It's just for you. It's like winning a medal. That's what these children are to you, just trophies. You don't consider their lives. All you want is to satisfy your desires of having children. This is what's morally impermissible about this decision.

So you agree that the world is wicked and painful, but you still decide to bring people into it? You believe that there is hell, but you still decide to bring people into a 'sinful' world, despite knowing that there is a probability that they'd go to this hell?
now I know I am conversing with a person who has much skepticism about the creation.The point I tried to emphasize is the fact that man has been largely disobedient and has Brought all of the calamity upon him self because of his selfish and narcissistic mind set.This was due to Lucifer's self absorbed persona that eventually poisoned the mind of man to be an almost replica of his wicked nature but due to God's merciful character his grace continues to abound.Job lost his children and I think your anger in the story is 'why so much suffering'?.Humanities problem at the moment is that we want to use our intellect to get ourselves out of our challenges,failing to recognise God.The further we drift away,the more we wallow in our human capabilities which are very much temporal...
My God is so merciful that he cant afford to have burning furnace which many call 'hell'.It is accorded for man to die once then judgement.Death is nothing but deep sleep,until he comes to resurrect his children from the slumber...
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 8:27pm On Nov 21, 2016
It seems no one has been able to provide a convincing, reasonable positive reply to my question.

Lalasticlala & dominique, please move this discussion to the front page for a larger audience to reply to this question.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by TsokanCrown(m): 10:40pm On Nov 21, 2016
is it morally right that you were born to ask such a purposeless question
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 7:44am On Nov 22, 2016
TsokanCrown:
is it morally right that you were born to ask such a purposeless question

Is it?

And how is the question a purposeless one? Isn't intellectual illumination a purpose? Isn't a sincere acknowledgement of truth a purpose? Isn't the critical examination of an important aspect of our lives a purpose?

I wonder if people like you even think at all.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 8:10am On Nov 22, 2016
missjo:
I think your question should have been, Is it morally right to get married?

This is a more suitable question because I can't think of any other logical reason people get married except to have kids. You can love and spend the rest of your life with someone without marrying them.

Birthing kids is a marital achievement whether we like to admit it or not.

I actually do not see anything morally wrong with deciding to tie the knot with someone you love. Maybe you looking at it from the angle of what imminently proceeds from marriage, that is, the huge probability of child birth, but this is just a probability and can be curtailed, so it shouldn't be used to define marriage, because it's just the constitutional union between a man and a woman. Full stop.

Birthing kids has been defined as a marital achievement by society and culture, but that doesn't mean everyone should subscribe to this definition.
Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by TsokanCrown(m): 8:12am On Nov 22, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


Is it?

And how is the question a purposeless one? Isn't intellectual illumination a purpose? Isn't a sincere acknowledgement of truth a purpose? Isn't the critical examination of an important aspect of our lives a purpose?

I wonder if people like you even think at all.

Re: Parents, Married Couples And Aspiring Couples: Is It Morally Right To Have Kids? by Nobody: 8:20am On Nov 22, 2016
GrizzlyBear:


How would the extinction of the human race be a selfish action towards nature? Our existence in nature and the inordinate proliferation of our species, is unwholesome and immensely deleterious to nature. I think the extinction of our race would be appreciated by nature.

Think about the deliberate actions of man that has led to the extinction of animals, the destruction of plant life and the pollution of the biosphere. Our existence is doing nature more harm than good. The balance of nature can be kept without the existence of homo sapiens.

Why isn't it morally wrong?

I am surprised you are alive to wrote this. One would assume that you would be honourable enough to remove yourself from existence by now and one would be wrong. Do nature a favour and cancel yourself, at least. that's one less human pollutant.

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