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Pyramid Of Love - Family - Nairaland

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Pyramid Of Love by IAmOged(f): 10:00am On Nov 30, 2016
“Women don't love, they only care for themselves.” This is a comment from a gentleman I came across recently that made me stop to give pause.
After some pondering,I must conclude that I disagree with the statement that inspired this article. I do suspect that the gentleman who said what he said felt it to be true with every inch of his fiber, but I do not believe the assertion to be right. Nevertheless, I am sympathetic to his sentiment, for although he is wrong, he is not entirely. It is, at least among the old guard of the century community, an established truth that women do not love men in the way that man wants to be loved.

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Inharmonious Love:[
The problem is contingent on not only the way in which man craves to be loved, but likewise the way in which woman is capable of loving. Man desires a sacrificial love, sacrifice implies loyalty and connection. What men want from love, and what woman's love amounts to is fundamentally irreconcilable.
In matters of love (and not simply lust,) man is an optimistic egalitarian. He loves as he wishes to be loved. In matters of love, when man is young and oblivious to the ways of women, he is a true adherent of the golden rule.

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[b]The folly of man’s nature lies in the belief that the loyalty quintessential to woman's maternal instinct will be available within a romantic context. He believes rather foolishly, that as his mother loved him, the idealised girlfriend could. He sees how women love their children, and upon making such an observation concludes that women are capable of great love. This is true, they are. Only sadly, this great love is a love reserved solely for children, it extends not to man. As such, man has an idealisation of woman's love, not a realisation.
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Man desires that which is unattainable to him, unaware the love he desires is maternal in nature, unable to be felt for him. Nature plays a cruel trick on the psychology of man. It gives him a very pure, high quality love in his childhood. It gives him a template for woman's love that he comes to expect as standard of all women.
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He is taught by his mother's love that unconditional loyalty, noble character, gentleness, sacrifice and trust are intrinsic of the feminine essence. And so as he grows from a boy into a man he comes to the rather logical conclusion that if he is “a good man,” he can expect to be loved by his lover in much the same way. His mother, well-meant but quite incorrectly likewise affirms this notion to him. This is a wicked lie, but a man whose heart is yet to be broken does not realise this.
[/b]
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He thinks woman's love is immutable. He knows not that her love for child is different from that of her love for him.
And so man longs to be loved like a child, not realising such a love is reserved for children. Believing that the love he covets is romantic love, when truly it is maternal love.
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Such a man of course lacks the experience or nuance of mind to make this distinction. And so the tragedy for this man is learning that women do not love men like they love children. The unconditional loyalty inherent to the maternal bond is all but absent from the mating bond. Most men do not realise this. They love wholesomely right up until they are emotionally blind-sided by a woman in the most violable of ways, forced to re-evaluate their opinion of female nature. This is not a hypothetical so much as it is an eventuality.
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From there on, man can learn to re-evaluate his notion of woman's capacity to love. He will come to learn woman's love for her mate is of vastly reduced moral and psychological quality than that of her love for her child. How he responds to such powerful knowledge will ultimately shape what kind of man he decides to become.
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Be it a man going his own way, a disillusioned bachelor looking to use women for nothing but sex, or a Patriarch who runs his house like a business, aware of the risk, but acting in all his power to mitigate it.
However cruel as it may seem, women are incapable of reciprocating man's love.
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We women love differently. There is a pyramid of love that trickles down. Man sacrifices for woman, and woman, for child. Rarely does the river flow upward. As such, if man is to believe that women can love to the same extent as he, then he is doomed to disappointment and misery when she invariably acts within accordance of her nature rather than his idealisation.

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Woman's Love Defined:
[b]The epitome of a woman's love is infatuation. To define it, this is a lust for your power and an obsession with how your character makes her feel, secondary to your power. It is put crudely: OPPORTUNISM and emotional self-appeasement alchemised with lust.
Man oft forgets that love does not flow upward in the sacrificial sense. He makes the mistake of thinking that because he can love a woman without lusting for her, that a woman can do the same.
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She cannot, because her love is not based on sacrifice, it is based on the appreciation of man's sacrifice met with lust. The more man sacrifices for a woman, the more likely he is to fall in love with his investment. The more a woman sacrifices for man absent of animal lust, the more repulsion she feels for him, interpreting her need for investment as a shortcoming on his part. And so there it is, unspoken in word but detected in sentiment; woman expects man to love her more than she loves him, reinforcing the hierarchy of love. Female sacrifice is predicated on lust and mental entrapment. Male sacrifice is expected, and freely given.[/b]

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Love And Female Self-Deception:
A woman who does not lust for you cannot love you as you wish to be loved. Lust is the basis for her love, absent of lust you have “like” rather than “love.” Such a woman can do naught but use you and lie to you both that she is in love when she isn't. If it is convenient for a woman to be in love, she will convince herself she is in love so that she may convince you of it. We Women are masters of self-deception, so one must be extremely cautious in assigning any substance to our convictions. Treat such earnest emotional conviction as sophistry.
Women are generally speaking, emotionally neurotic. Women who become too self-aware can end up hating themselves because they cannot overcome their animal elements. They can't make themselves love you in the way you want them to, even if they tried to. To do so would ravage them with immeasurable misery. So as unfair as you may think it is that your girlfriend can never love you the same way your mother did, it is likewise unfair to expect her to do so if you wish her happiness. I am of the belief that this is why society has collectively lied to itself for generations.[/b]

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Conclusion:
As i do emphasize ....Women are what they are; your perception of women no matter what that might be is powerless to change their fundamental nature. You can, with the knowledge you have acquired, learn to accept them, or you may, reject them out of unappeasable disappointment predicated on the idea that “woman's love just isn't worth it.”
We can argue about what is right for society, what is right for your personal situation and all the rest, as many of you like to do, but ultimately this is a personal choice to be taken by our men.


#CAVEAT

CC:ILTM

#EMOTIONAL DIFFERENCES

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“When a woman marries again, it is because she detested her first husband. When a man marries again, it is because he adored his first wife. Women try their luck; men risk theirs.”Oscar Wilde

Re: Pyramid Of Love by mukhcech(m): 11:34am On Dec 01, 2016
I am in love with the writeup ( I hope em right!!)

talking bout women who are too self-aware. @ Op, do you consider yourself as a woman who is too self-aware?(No pun intent)
Re: Pyramid Of Love by johnson232: 4:58pm On Dec 01, 2016
op nice write up....
Re: Pyramid Of Love by IAmOged(f): 6:24pm On Dec 01, 2016
mukhcech:
I am in love with the writeup ( I hope em right!!)

talking bout women who are too self-aware. @ Op, do you consider yourself as a woman who is too self-aware?(No pun intent)
sniff the answer out?

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