Sometimes I wish I could make a quick fast forward through my life and see that everything ends OK.

Mummy why don't u like us was the question my 3.6yrs old daughter asked me tonight.... I held her close to my heart and told her that I love them so much and even too much that I can't imagine my life without them.


There are days I come back home tired and I just want to give them food and sleep but they won't let me. Sometimes I scold, or beat them. Sometimes I let them av their way like a child that they are, other days I just can't stand it.


Mummy, I want a new cloth ..... I am sorry dear, we can't afford that now cos we've got bills to pay.
Why don't you give us everything we want.....i know that I don't give up to 20% of what u want but am working very hard to put food on the table for us.

Mummy when is daddy coming back..... This is the question I fear the most, I just let them fall asleep while I cry throughout the night. How do I tell you that daddy isn't coming back. I really wish he was here, we had a perfect dream of raising our kids together.


My fear is will they understand when they grow up?
Won't they grow up hating me thinking I hated them when they were kids??

Why not tell them the truth about their dad where about if he is still Alive or not...



I don't like seeing woman Hustling while their husband is not doing anything it's hurt my hrt

He's late.

bleble24:
He's late.

Oh that was such a sad read

One proverb from my village says as you spank a child with one hand, you should also draw them closer or pet them with the other hand.

So please whenever you are harsh with them also try to let them know you care and love them in other ways.

About their dadsee if you can get him back. Cajole him if necessary, tell him how the kids always miss him.
If you can't succeed in brigig him back then let the kids know its his fault for being absent from their lives so they don't ed up blaming or hating you.

If the dad has passed on then tell them.

bleble24:
He's late.

Awwww so sorry.
You'll be fine, always explain things to them whenever you are free and have the time to talk with them.

You are a wonderful mum. When they get to the age of understanding they will appreciate all the hustle and effort you are making towards giving them the best in life.

bleble24:
He's late.

awww solo sorry about that.
may God grants the strength to carry through

bleble24:
He's late.

awww solo sorry about that.
may God grants the strength to carry through

Hmm

bleble24:
Sometimes I wish I could make a quick fast forward through my life and see that everything ends OK.

Mummy why don't u like us was the question my 3.6yrs old daughter asked me tonight.... I held her close to my heart and told her that I love them so much and even too much that I can't imagine my life without them.


There are days I come back home tired and I just want to give them food and sleep but they won't let me. Sometimes I scold, or beat them. Sometimes I let them av their way like a child that they are, other days I just can't stand it.


Mummy, I want a new cloth ..... I am sorry dear, we can't afford that now cos we've got bills to pay.
Why don't you give us everything we want.....i know that I don't give up to 20% of what u want but am working very hard to put food on the table for us.

Mummy when is daddy coming back..... This is the question I fear the most, I just let them fall asleep while I cry throughout the night. How do I tell you that daddy isn't coming back. I really wish he was here, we had a perfect dream of raising our kids together.


My fear is will they understand when they grow up?
Won't they grow up hating me thinking I hated them when they were kids??

I''m so sorry for your loss . . . May God give you the strength you need right now.

However, please don't hide the fact that their dad is late from them. Tell them that their daddy has gone to heave to be with Jesus and guard over them. Tell them he's not coming back but he's watching and protecting them from Heaven and they should always know that he's loves them and will always be with them. Kids understand more than you think . . .

As for providing for the, please do the best you can and correct them with love. Kids sometimes need a firm hand and now is the time to instill that discipline. If you can avoid it, please don't spank them. You can deprive them of somethings and explain to them why you are punishing them.

They will understand when they grow up...trust me.

Awwww baby...so very sorry for your loss. It is well.

Truth is, your kids will love you so much when they become adults, with great understanding of your sacrifice. However, you might go through some rough times with them during their teenage years. Pls let them know their daddy isn't ever coming back as soon as you could make them understand it. It's really important. Also, talk to them like they are adults already(funny, right?) I'm talking about decision process. Then let them see just how much you crave their love too.

My friend lost her husband last year to the cold hands of death too. Hers was so dotty on the kids that those younguns realised daddy was 'really' missing in no time. What she did was to step on the gas by showing them more love, talking to them the best she could and working just as hard to take care of them. Yes, they still fill my eyes with tears with stories of the the country their dad is in o, guess she couldn't just tell them he's never coming back. The boy is so smart with very active imagination plus guy has serious EQ, he would take one look at her and say things like "mommy don't worry ok... everything will be alright". God help us, children are really smarter than we give them credit for...talk to yours. Her daughter was 3yrs when it happened, girl listens too( though my favorite Iya has always been cool). Hmmmm, though their mom could be scattered at times like outrightly breaking down into tears in front of them when smallsmall things happen o, those kids have no doubts their mommy loves them to bits.

^{Whew! I should go visit the family today sef}

You are not a bad mum, kids are not easy to raise single handedly. This is when you might need another positive adult to help out. Is his family not involved, how about yours? They need a healthy support system, try and see if you can get some of your trust worthy family or friends getting involved in their lives too. I wish you well

Sorry for your loss. It'll be easier to bear as time goes on. Time really does heal wounds.

Your kids may not appreciate your firmness with them now or your struggle to put food on the table, but they will when it matters, when they've grown up.

Please raise them right, spank them when need be and hug them a lot unconditionally.

I pray you reap an abundant harvest from your toil on them.

Keep your chin up and smile dear, daybreak is around the corner.

Thank you everyone. His family promise to be there, and they were there at first but later thing change.
I will try and adjust.

austine4real:

awww solo sorry about that.

may God grants the strength to carry through

Which one is solo sorry now

favourmic:


Which one is solo sorry now

wanted to type soo sorry na android auto correct

So sorry dear.
It isn't easy being the bread winner and a doting mum. God will see you ok.
My prayer for you is that you will be alive to see them become big shots in future and you reap the fruit of your hardwork.

Ur a good mom....my mom made me understand that my dad left n would never come back so since i waa a kid i knew n never asked bout him
But when ur kids become teens its goung to be hard
I know i gave my mom a really hard time cos i was looking for independence n all that
But right now im 18 but i understand her sacrifices n suffering n really i try to make everything easier
I got a job so i rarely ask for money except school fees which is 60k a yr

Thank you.

The truth is I haven't accepted it yet.

Sometimes, I feel like he is going to knock on the door one day and say it was all a dream.

It's not been easy, believe me.

I'm so sorry for your loss...
Time heals all wound but the scars still remain, over time you'll be fine.
Tell the kids,that their dad loves them and he has gone to heaven to be with God in order to watch,provide and care for them....let them know their dad loves them but God called him..
It ain't easy raising a child alone but one thing that will keep you going is telling yourself ''I can do it''...you're stronger than you think...
Trust God that you'll be fine.
#hugs#

Hernyolar:
I'm so sorry for your loss...
Time heals all wound but the scars still remain, over time you'll be fine.
Tell the kids,that their dad loves them and he has gone to heaven to be with God in order to watch,provide and care for them....let them know their dad loves them but God called him..
It ain't easy raising a child alone but one thing that will keep you going is telling yourself ''I can do it''...you're stronger than you think...
Trust God that you'll be fine.
#hugs#

Thanks

As i read through the comments, tears fill my eyes. It's well with you dear. Tell Jesus everything, He is a reliable friend, He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Debbiemma:
As i read through the comments, tears fill my eyes. It's well with you dear. Tell Jesus everything, He is a reliable friend, He will never leave you nor forsake you.

Thank you

bleble24:

Thank you

pls flag me or whatasp me on 08105141316
I want to discus somtin with u

As a mum, you have doubts if you're doing a good job or not until they grow up.

They probably won't understand your pains and efforts now, but when they're grown, they will and appreciate you for being so amazing.


I know it can be tiring, coming home from work at night and the kids misbehaving, but try not to take your frustrations out on them. minimise the way you beat them. There are various ways to punish a child, and always give them a rewqrd for good behaviour.

little things make kids happy, buy them icecream or whatever things they like(sometimes) when you're coming back from work.

I lost a parent at a tender age, I only got to know when I was sixteen, before then, they had me believe she traveled abroad. you can try that, the pain will be less for them to bear then.

Debbiemma:
As i read through the comments, tears fill my eyes. It's well with you dear. Tell Jesus everything, He is a reliable friend, He will never leave you nor forsake you.

I don't mean to be rude madam, but the op needs a practical and realistic advice here not preaching and gospel.

The Bible said faith without works is useless.

based on what you wrote,
you're a good mom and you're doing your best.

i'm sorry for your loss.

bleble24:

what's wrong?

Always tell kids the truth in a way they understand. It saves you a lot of stress. Lies never make sense to the intelligent ones and they will keep asking questions that can almost make you commit. Tell them their dad is in heaven and looking out for them from there. Tell them you do not have a lot of money but are trying your best.

Tell them things are hard in the country for everyone but they can make their requests and put it in a request box with no guarantee they will get any of the requests answered. Then you have no pressure and you can attend to the requests at your own time. Also teach them to write out their thoughts in a diary and take time to go through it. You know you are busy. You may not have the time to really know what is going on in their lives.

Teach them about money, contentment and how to manage, and it will take them far in life. Being a good parent is not based on how many material things you give them but the lessons you teach them. Life is not easy, so trying to shelter them is not helping them.

Let them start doing small chores to help you in the house and you can pay them a small token and from there teach them about saving and spending. Manage yourself and live within your means and all will be well. I know it is not easy but try to pace yourself at work so that you are not so tired after work, and you can have at least 1hr with your kids! Find out about their day and help with their homework. Let them help you with dinner if possible during that time so you can all bond. They grow so fast and you will not be happy that you spent their growing years a big time depressed and angry person.

Your husband is gone sadly, accept it and know that you cannot take his place or fill that void, you can only do your best to help them through life. Please don't also be in a hurry to find outside men to fill that void. Even if you remarry, leave their dad's place in their life and respect that.

Have a good system for them that when it's time for bed. It's time for bed, and when they are in bed, they are not allowed out of their room expect to use the toilet. You need to have a working routine or things can get out of hand and overwhelm you.

Don't be angry at those that are not keeping their promises to you. Everyone is struggling themselves and trying to survive. The truth is when we lose a loved one, we think everyone should stop their lives because our life seems to have stopped and we are stuck. But the truth is life goes on. If we don't get on with life, we may not survive the loss. Sad to say but you have to pick up all your broken pieces and move on with life for your kids at least.

Only when you experience loss do you truly realize that in this life, you are on your own. You can't rely on anyone. Everyone is out looking for their daily bread and soon will forget all the promises they made to you. Never hang your future on any promise. Humans mostly disappoint and it's not intentional. It's survival.

Thank you baby124.

iliketheSunrise:
based on what you wrote,
you're a good mom and you're doing your best.

i'm sorry for your loss.



what's wrong?

I promised her Xmas cloth but couldn't afford one. She cried ee.. ...i was shattered.
It's well sha.