The home is the bedrock of a society. A successful home doesn’t just happen, it is built. A home is more than just a roof above one’s head; it is a secure place where you are free to enjoy your life and fulfil your potentials. It is a place to be better and not to be bitter.

Characteristics of a Home

A home should provide adequate privacy and space
A home should provide security
A should provide a healthy environment
A home should provide links to a community. A home should allow you to form relationships and links to the wider community.

Differences between a Home and a House

It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a Home
A house is made of walls and beams, while a home is built with love and dreams
A house is not a home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as the body.
A house is a structure, but a home is the people who live in the house and make it safe and a pleasant place to be.
A home does not have to be a house; it can be any place in the world. A home is a place of love, belonging and happiness. A house is a building which accommodates you – it is just a building and you do not necessarily care about it. It takes a lot of love, care and affection in a house to turn it into a home.

Establishing a happy and successful home requires tremendous efforts based on inputs from the key players in the home; the husband and the wife. The husband is the head of the home and should love his wife sacrificially. He should make her better and not bitter. The wife should love and submit to her husband. Submission does not mean you are inferior; rather, it is a position of power.

Marriage involves commitment, communication, companionship and control. Marriage is teamwork; no single party can do it alone without the support of the other. There is a need for synergy in marriage in order to make the relationship blissful and pleasurable.

Children need companionship, confidence, discipline and respect. Confidence and trust should be instilled in children from an early age. They should be encouraged to derive their identity from God and not in fleeting things like the kind of shoes and clothes they wear or school they attend etc. Discipline should be done creatively and should be commensurate to the offence. Children should be taught to respect themselves and others regardless of class, creed or gender.

In building a successful home, it is important to have family vision and values. It helps to define what the family stands for and what they intend to achieve. Capturing a fresh and compelling vision for the family begins with understanding God’s purpose for the family and taking an honest look at the current state of the home.

A family vision and mission statement is an articulation of a family’s values, goals and character. Through creating and writing a mission statement, families will define who they are as individuals and as a family, have clearer understanding of their priorities and gain some peace in having a plan.

Steps to Creating a Family Vision

What makes you happy? What are those things in life that put a smile on your face and get you through your difficult days?
What makes us fulfilled? What are those things in life that bring us the most satisfaction and leave us with the feeling of completeness?
What do we want for ourselves and for our family? What are our hopes, dreams, aspirations not only for our family, but for ourselves as well?

After crafting it, be sure to post them in many spots and in central spots so that they remain the focus of your family’s attention.

Here are a number of things you can do to create a happy home;

Create special moments
Express affection
Hug more
Show interest in one another
Appreciate one another
Create a friendly and safe environment
Listen more to one another
Dance and play music together
Acknowledge one another
Remember the extras
Pamper one another
Play together
Communicate openly
Share and read stories together
Relax and enjoy one another
Cook together
Celebrate art
Reinforce the ‘I love you’ by saying it often.

Building closeness in your family – between parents and kids, or between spouses or among siblings – doesn’t have to be a difficult thing. Family-building activities can be free and quick, with little preparation and without even leaving the home. But the trick is that you have to be intentional about it. Deliberately make choices that will help you build a successful family.

To your successful family…