Story based on true life experience of a friend.

I have been in a relationship for 2-3 years, she is from the middle belt and I am from the south west and we really loved each other. I can testify to her love and I really love her too despite that sometimes, we quarrel but I always find a way to resolve it especially because I can hardly do a whole day without talking to her. She was a respectful, nice and homely lady until recently;she is wife material.

I made a couple of mistakes in the relationship:
I had flings and I made a mistake of confessing a particular fling (with a prostitute) to her
I yell at her sometimes when I am angry but I always apologize to sort out our differences
I had some amorous chats with some ladies and she discovered by going through my phone, I never knew she was gonna use this against me.
I actually exchanged nude pictures with a lady and she saw it on my phone.
I missed an opportunity to meet the parents a year ago because of logistics problem and the fact that I took the meeting for granted, apparently,it was pretty important to her then.

Gradually, she started keeping her distance from me: I realized she stopped calling me regularly until she stopped completely, I noticed the change in attitude but I took the red flags for granted. Recently, she broke up with me and I have tried everything to change her mind.
I made promises and talked,I took responsibility for all the blames and insisted it will never happen again. I tried everything to save the relationship. I became desperate to keep her and i made another mistake of discussing the matter with her aunt.
She got more offended, became confrontational and disrespectful. She became very adamant about the break-up and blocked me on all social media. She also placed my phone lines on permanent reject on her phone. I have tried to involve all the people that I feel could change her mind but she is so adamant.

It has been devastating for me in the last 4 mths and worse now. I really love her and my efforts to move on are poor. House,please advice me.

She has been working on breaking up the relationship for 4 months. She has also been seeing another man discretely and she confessed it to me but I wonder if I can still get my woman back.I really don't wanna loose her but she insists she has lost the love for me and could never trust or love me anymore. What do you advice?

Sir please you should move on.. Sometimes, finding solution to every situation doesn't solve the situation.. You have tried and all I see is that you deliberately find it difficult to move on as if your life has been enslaved by her. Its hard but move on..

This country's situation is already hard on individuals and you still want to add more to the STRUGGLE and for how long? What you don't know is that after stressing and fighting so tirelessly hard to bring her back especially for a long stretch of time, that you won't feel the same way anymore for her. My one kobo..

RELATIONSHIP is not meant to hurt..
See the illustration of what is going on with you right now..

When we have something we don't value it until we loose it

first guy to comment again


waris my bizz ....you eff up...she treats ur eff up...you cum cum here dey do lyk kitten



gerrarehia jareee

Bros, abeg go and sit down ....or call those prostitute and flings... they should make u happy. Next

Guys,

He knows he messed up. He accepted his faults but wishes something can still be done to save the relationship. Do you agree with him?

She has been working on breaking up the relationship for 4 months. She has also been seeing another man discretely and she has confessed it to me but I wonder if I can still get my woman back. I really don't wanna loose her but she insists she has lost the love for me and could never trust or love me anymore. What do you advice?

Oga this is where your problem emanated from. Its not your weaknesses/mistakes that made her broke up inconsiderately. She has hers too. Shes just lucky u didnt discover them. If she has been seeing a man for some time, body attractions would have been involved too. You hrd shes seeing another man and you kept up with her. Now she saw yours on phone without seeing the person, she childishly left.

Shes using ur past engagement to a prostitue to haunt you as well. Has she vowed that she did not do runs at one time or the other to meet her needs? Can she vow that she doesn't ask for money and gift items from any other man but you or that she hasnt without your knowledge? Has she no past? Love overcome these things. Hers isn't love. What she want is a calm man she can ride over while she keeps misbehaving and d man will be cold to reject her..the reason why they seek court wedding as soon as they see a mugu. Its like an irresponsible man looking for virgin mary. If shes mature enough, she'll meet you back for a peaceful separation acknowledging that she had her mind on someone else for quite some time and not necessarily becus of ur mistakes. And both of you will peacefully forgive each other and be friends even with each others spouse. Some ppl dont just care about the foundation of thier marriage sha.

So free your mind from blame and move on bro. It may not be easy but as soon as you realize its not all your fault but partly hers too, your emotional balance would begin. And when you get better balanced, ask to see her in d presence of her spouse if u don't mind and tell her what she did that wasn't right to clear your conscience. If her new man is experienced, he will console you friendly.

Please can we keep the advice coming. He needs it.

RadicallyBlunt:

Oga this is where your problem emanated from. Its not your weaknesses/mistakes that made her broke up inconsiderately. She has hers too. Shes just lucky u didnt discover them. If she has been seeing a man for some time, body attractions would have been involved too. You hrd shes seeing another man and you kept up with her. Now she saw yours on phone without seeing the person, she childishly left.

Shes using ur past engagement to a prostitue to haunt you as well. Has she vowed that she did not do runs at one time or the other to meet her needs? Can she vow that she doesn't ask for money and gift items from any other man but you or that she hasnt without your knowledge? Has she no past? Love overcome these things. Hers isn't love. What she want is a calm man she can ride over while she keeps misbehaving and d man will be cold to reject her..the reason why they seek court wedding as soon as they see a mugu. Its like an irresponsible man looking for virgin mary. If shes mature enough, she'll meet you back for a peaceful separation acknowledging that she had her mind on someone else for quite some time and not necessarily becus of ur mistakes. And both of you will peacefully forgive each other and be friends even with each others spouse. Some ppl dont just care about the foundation of thier marriage sha.

So free your mind from blame and move on bro. It may not be easy but as soon as you realize its not all your fault but partly hers too, your emotional balance would begin. And when you get better balanced, ask to see her in d presence of her spouse if u don't mind and tell her what she did that wasn't right to clear your conscience. If her new man is experienced, he will console you friendly.

very enlightening!

OP,
What was sex like between them?

Wallade:

Story based on true life experience of a friend.

I have been in a relationship for 2-3 years, she is from the middle belt and I am from the south west and we really loved each other. I can testify to her love and I really love her too despite that sometimes, we quarrel but I always find a way to resolve it especially because I can hardly do a whole day without talking to her. She was a respectful, nice and homely lady until recently;she is wife material.

I made a couple of mistakes in the relationship:
I had flings and I made a mistake of confessing a particular fling (with a prostitute) to her
I yell at her sometimes when I am angry but I always apologize to sort out our differences
I had some amorous chats with some ladies and she discovered by going through my phone, I never knew she was gonna use this against me.
I actually exchanged nude pictures with a lady and she saw it on my phone.
I missed an opportunity to meet the parents a year ago because of logistics problem and the fact that I took the meeting for granted, apparently,it was pretty important to her then.

Gradually, she started keeping her distance from me: I realized she stopped calling me regularly until she stopped completely, I noticed the change in attitude but I took the red flags for granted. Recently, she broke up with me and I have tried everything to change her mind.
I made promises and talked,I took responsibility for all the blames and insisted it will never happen again. I tried everything to save the relationship. I became desperate to keep her and i made another mistake of discussing the matter with her aunt.
She got more offended, became confrontational and disrespectful. She became very adamant about the break-up and blocked me on all social media. She also placed my phone lines on permanent reject on her phone. I have tried to involve all the people that I feel could change her mind but she is so adamant.

It has been devastating for me in the last 4 mths and worse now. I really love her and my efforts to move on are poor. House,please advice me.

She has been working on breaking up the relationship for 4 months. She has also been seeing another man discretely and she confessed it to me but I wonder if I can still get my woman back.I really don't wanna loose her but she insists she has lost the love for me and could never trust or love me anymore. What do you advice?

In life you can never eat your cake and still have it...there's also this saying that, until you lose what you have you'd never value it...my brother, she's gone and gone for good...guys should learn how to appreciate and care for their gfs when tbey are lucky to have a good one like in your case....good girls hardly comeby these days and that's why i'm still single....learn your lessons and move on abegi.

BabaRamota1980:


very enlightening!

OP,
What was sex like between them?

She suspended sex with him for reasons best known to her but presented as a need to do some things with God. Even the night he saw the prostitute,they were together but she declined and I guess he was in need so he did a prostitute and he stupidly confessed to her. She presented an opinion that was the beginning of their problem.

I think sex was great between them.

I understood exactly what you might be passing through now bc I hv been in ur shoe.
It pains when u love someone and the person toys with ur heart, it really happened to me, there z this girl I loved, was faithful to her yet she kicked my ass.
But when I gave up on her in my heart and moved on with my life, I came to realize that there are many other good girls out there that are even more intelligent, more beautiful and good mannered more than she do, and by the time she realized herself, unfortunately to her, my feelings for her hv dropped to 10% if it can be quantified.
My brother I advise you to move on with ur life, she z not worth it, open ur heart, build ur self confidence, work up to single ladies out there and u will be wowed with ur discovery, somethings happen in our life to pave way for better things, though we do misunderstood it to be misfortunes in the short term, but in the long run, u will surely smile.
Prove to her that ur life doesn't depend on her.
good luck.

I concur.

RadicallyBlunt:

Oga this is where your problem emanated from. Its not your weaknesses/mistakes that made her broke up inconsiderately. She has hers too. Shes just lucky u didnt discover them. If she has been seeing a man for some time, body attractions would have been involved too. You hrd shes seeing another man and you kept up with her. Now she saw yours on phone without seeing the person, she childishly left.

Shes using ur past engagement to a prostitue to haunt you as well. Has she vowed that she did not do runs at one time or the other to meet her needs? Can she vow that she doesn't ask for money and gift items from any other man but you or that she hasnt without your knowledge? Has she no past? Love overcome these things. Hers isn't love. What she want is a calm man she can ride over while she keeps misbehaving and d man will be cold to reject her..the reason why they seek court wedding as soon as they see a mugu. Its like an irresponsible man looking for virgin mary. If shes mature enough, she'll meet you back for a peaceful separation acknowledging that she had her mind on someone else for quite some time and not necessarily becus of ur mistakes. And both of you will peacefully forgive each other and be friends even with each others spouse. Some ppl dont just care about the foundation of thier marriage sha.

So free your mind from blame and move on bro. It may not be easy but as soon as you realize its not all your fault but partly hers too, your emotional balance would begin. And when you get better balanced, ask to see her in d presence of her spouse if u don't mind and tell her what she did that wasn't right to clear your conscience. If her new man is experienced, he will console you friendly.

didn't read tho its too long.... itz not difficult to move on most times we jes dont want to move on.. ..we make reasons why we shouldn't or give ourselves silly excuses why we shouldn't move on.... den u keep going back cos u wanna fix things den u keep hurting urself. . learn to let go!

Mikylopez:
didn't read tho its too long.... itz not difficult to move on most times we jes dont want to move on.. ..we make reasons why we shouldn't or give ourselves silly excuses why we shouldn't move on.... den u keep going back cos u wanna fix things den u keep hurting urself. . learn to let go!

I want to ask, why you always having this flower effect? Are you a Persimmon Perch?

It's too late to apologize

To the extent of sending nudes, while still in a relatioship with her??
And u expect her to stay
tell me if u are her, will u stay? be honest.

Dead topic from the biggest gaylord on Nl trending since 2013 u no dey shame

You took her for granted with your actions, and she has been enduring it till she couldn't take it anymore, that is why she stopped calling you and bothering about you, cos she is already tired of you and your bullshiit, everybody have their limit of tolerance and the mind is very tricky.

she is just like me, when one keep taking me for granted, I will be very patient with the person, and during that period, am using it to get over the person, then one day I decide to date another person. That's how the relationship will end.

You don't know the value of what you have until you lose it.

Sorry about your heartbreak, their is nothing you can do about it.