“Who gives this woman to be married to this man? ” Reverend Wale,CGMC church priest inquired.

Steps forward almost simultaneously, “I Bamidele Olomola do give my daughter ,Mirabel Lola to Benjamin Adebayo as Wife” muttered the Octogenerian,the bride’s father with his voice losing grip.

While he said this he had simultaneously held his daughter’s hand, stretching it to the priest.


And the priest while grabbing both father and daughter’s hands decreed “Sir,by this action this day,before God,his ministers and these faithful witnesses , you release your daughter Mirabel Omolola from your authority and covering to be joined to Benjamin Adebayo as wife. Therefore she has now come under the authority and covering of Benjamin Adebayo. “

“Do you understand and accept this as the will of God sir?” Concluded the Reverend gazing at the bride’s father for response.

“Yes sir,I do” Mr Bamidele Olomola,the bride’s father responded letting off the hands of his daughter as he returns back to his seat and the bride thereafter joined to the groom.

Typical of Christian solemnization these conversations we have just gone through. Virtually this happens to all couple joined together by law either in a ceremony organised by church,mosque or any legal authorized body.

This conversation either it takes place in all setting or not,it is followed by an action of oath which brings these duo under the subject called union.

While the oath is less of a discourse today,one of the deepest and most sensitive clauses of solemnization is what makes me ponder.

In the above scenario of the father handing over his rights of exercising authorities and covers over his daughter to her friend,spouse and husband what then happen when the contract is over?

In other words if either party files for a divorce and this is done,under whose authority has the woman come to? Has she come back to the father who has released her? Or she is still under the man’s despite the divorce? Or perhaps now has authority over her own self?

Biblically that will be a taboo because the scripture in 1st Corinthians 7 says the woman has no authority over her own body.

As much as different perspective we view this,its rare that a divorced woman becomes better by her decision regardless of what prompted her to opt out.

Upon her there is no more covering and the scars inflicted in the first marriage will forever lingers no matter how much care the new man lavishes peradventure she remarries.

The need to court and be decisive before saying “I do” can never be overemphaiszed. Different reasons cause people to opt out,ranging from infidelity,physical and psychological abuse,to lies and false identity however the case may be,all these are no justifiable reasons for breaking the oath binded union because they were in the relationships or the individuals before they walked down the aisle.

My thirst for knowledge about Under whose authority the wife is after divorcing her husband who once had authority and coverings over her as given to him by her father is nothing but an urgent one because on this phenonmenon,destinies are continually marred.

Is the woman under her own authority? Which means,she defines what to do with her own body,where to go and not to go,when to return.

Or she has returned under her father’s authority? Which means the father can give her to another man after he has received the first rites. Or she forever remains under his roof?

What really troubles me is the nauseating increase of single mothers they now call “Baby Mamas” some who are not even concerned about marriage. They turned themselves to child bearing/sex machines.

It rips my heart apart when I see a woman devotes her life to a courship,being chasty and pure as possible but ends up being divorced or divorcing her husband who married her in a glamorous union and defiled her in an extraordinary honeymoon as well as impregnated her in a royalty filled ambience only to divorce her in a shameful and life thwarting way as well as exposed it on the media where they first flung their coursthip and wedding pictures. Sadly they could have birthed children and had to share these lads like inheritance.

But what is the panacea to this burden?

TO BE CONTINUED

Fatomilola Ezekiel Adewale is the author of Handicapped Hero. He is an evangelist of a healthy marriage and an advocate of the homeless children.

Follow me on twitter @easycare77 and Facebook @ Ezekiel Adewale Fatomilola.

Till we continue this episode next weekend,keep journeying the Marriage Journey by reading our other fascinating articles. Shalom!

Wow....quite insightful!

UNDER WHOSE AUTHORITY ARE DIVORCED WIVES? 2 BY FATOMILOLA EZEKIEL A

Welcome to the concluding episode of “Under whose Authority are Divorced wives”


Let’s start with a dialogue I had with a neighbour on the above topic sometimes ago.

Me: Can a divorced wife remarry?

Neighbour:Why not if some pastors could remarry after divorcing their wives? In fact my church pastor,who is equally a zonal supritendent divorced his wife recently and remarried. So,if you were the one you won’t remarry?

I was mouth agaped. Really surprised about the teaching she and many others would have had under this so called pastor.

By the way,be reminded that this episode is to provide panacea to the dillema. And that it will do accordingly.

Divorce is a man’s carved out process of avoiding marriage scourge. Just like some would drop out of school if academic requirements or demands are beyond what they can bear so also are men and women would leave all they have struggled to build when they conclude they can’t carry through and not that they won’t if they try. Some after years ,while some in barely months.

The sad aspect is that some would have birthed children and when they discover they can’t continue in the allegiance they have pledged to their lovers,they share children and in rare cases share property then go their separate ways.

No one is hit by the mischieves of divorce and ever heals. Not one that I have seen. Either they wallow in emotional setbacks, spiritual attacks,psychological impairment, financial instability among other scourges. It’s ever certain that the bruise will forever be nursed!

To the extent that the Creator of universe said he hates divorce.

A failed courtship is better than a failed marriage. What many don’t know is what courtship stands for. Its a prerequisite for marriage. What you learn through it, you make use of in marriage.

Courtship is a very necessary process every relationship must pass through. Just like you don’t go from primary school to University,you can’t enter marriage without courtship. However some bribe their way through.

Not surprising,they will still bribe their way out and recycle the process.

Courtship is a stage you check for compatibility. It is a period you shouldn’t be distracted with what people feel about him/her.

It is not your mother that will live with him/her. Your dad may like short men,that will not help you ascertain if you really are comfortable with short men.

Your friends could have many idea about how to dress to kill,your man might have chosen you because of your decent dressing.

Courtship will let you see deal breakers. It will let you see what you can’t change and he/she can’t compromise.

That he is a star writer doesnt make him a star life partner. That he sings and the world gives ovation doesn’t mean he can lead the family and the children will confess they have a father in him. Her beauty can’t rub off on her mentality it can only compliment when she is mentally beautiful.

If you compromise your standard now in marriage you will lose your life. If he wants sex,tell him to wait,if he can’t wait,there you have it! The deal breaker,don’t be told to flee!

The problem is that we have many slips between cup and mouth. We tend to be complacent and give in to what will eventually destroy us not until we take charge of our life,the ship will be continually steered for us and we will be displeased.

Marriage is like an empty treasure box that demands our treasuries. Until you drop things there, no magic will make them full.

Marriage is like a period of harvest for whatever you have planted in courtship. Imagine you have planted pre marital sex,you will harvest marital dissatisfaction,infidelity ,STI and its related fruits.

When you practise sanctity and chastity, your marriage will be filled with enormous marital satisfaction,so much that every day will be an oppourtunity to explore and this will breed fidelity.

If you have checked for marital compatibility, and have realised that intellectually she is not a misfit,spiritually he is at par,career wise she is independently dependent,his medical history complies and she is not only fertile but also sexually qualified as well mature to handle your emotional,physical and psycholgical pressure tell me how divorce could be thought about talkess of acted upon?

When we stop considering beauty alone and look at other factors that can also promote our togetherness,we are heading for a lifetime comapanionship.

Also not forgetting the colossal effort of beauty because as much as other factors are pertinent,marrying somone you are not attracted to in bed is mischievous and can soon lead to divorce.

Divorce is more worse than cancer. It leaves the one who bears it more inflictions such as emotional instability,financial setbacks,spiritual incompleteness and whatever signs and symptoms you can see in patients around you.

Just like other deadly dieases like Hepatitis B,divorce is incurable but can be prevented. And can be prevented when the divorce is reneged.

Someone may ask,if I marry a killer who repeatedly abuse me,what do I do? You have made a choice to share his life with him and that part of his life you will have to share!

You can’t also say all of a sudden,your husband just became an abuser,you must have seen it before now or perhaps your courtship was too short for you to notice or you never had one. If that be the case you have to work out a therapeutic aid for him. Because you once made us know he is the best man in the world and now you can’t afford to change that!

Divorce is not a choice and should never be thought of.

Then under whose Authority are divorved wives? To answer this,I will like to state categorically that both men and women who are divorced or who divorces as case may be cannot remarry.

Since God said he hates divorce, then such are automatically under the authority of the devil.

Conclusively, walking down the aisle is almost every man/woman’s dream but before you do,count the cost and ascertain if that man/woman is worth the rest of your life because once your father withdraws his authority on you or her father hands her covering to you,then be ready to spend a lifetime with Him/Her until death do you part!

Till we meet during the next episode of the MARRIAGE JOURNEY,keep engaging your mind with contents of the Marital Psychologist’s blog. Let’s continue the conversation on our FB page by searching and liking THE MARITAL PSYCHOLOGIST or drop your comments here.

Ezekiel Adewale Fatomilola is the author of the Handicapped Hero. An Evangelist of a healthy Marriage and advocate of the Homeless Lads.

I can be reached on +2347066444111 Ezekielfatomilola@gmail.com

Follow me on twitter@easycare77

easycare77:

“Who gives this woman to be married to this man? ” Reverend Wale,CGMC church priest inquired.

Steps forward almost simultaneously, “I Bamidele Olomola do give my daughter ,Mirabel Lola to Benjamin Adebayo as Wife” muttered the Octogenerian,the bride’s father with his voice losing grip.

While he said this he had simultaneously held his daughter’s hand, stretching it to the priest.


And the priest while grabbing both father and daughter’s hands decreed “Sir,by this action this day,before God,his ministers and these faithful witnesses , you release your daughter Mirabel Omolola from your authority and covering to be joined to Benjamin Adebayo as wife. Therefore she has now come under the authority and covering of Benjamin Adebayo. “

“Do you understand and accept this as the will of God sir?” Concluded the Reverend gazing at the bride’s father for response.

“Yes sir,I do” Mr Bamidele Olomola,the bride’s father responded letting off the hands of his daughter as he returns back to his seat and the bride thereafter joined to the groom.

Typical of Christian solemnization these conversations we have just gone through. Virtually this happens to all couple joined together by law either in a ceremony organised by church,mosque or any legal authorized body.

This conversation either it takes place in all setting or not,it is followed by an action of oath which brings these duo under the subject called union.

While the oath is less of a discourse today,one of the deepest and most sensitive clauses of solemnization is what makes me ponder.

In the above scenario of the father handing over his rights of exercising authorities and covers over his daughter to her friend,spouse and husband what then happen when the contract is over?

In other words if either party files for a divorce and this is done,under whose authority has the woman come to? Has she come back to the father who has released her? Or she is still under the man’s despite the divorce? Or perhaps now has authority over her own self?

Biblically that will be a taboo because the scripture in 1st Corinthians 7 says the woman has no authority over her own body.

As much as different perspective we view this,its rare that a divorced woman becomes better by her decision regardless of what prompted her to opt out.

Upon her there is no more covering and the scars inflicted in the first marriage will forever lingers no matter how much care the new man lavishes peradventure she remarries.

The need to court and be decisive before saying “I do” can never be overemphaiszed. Different reasons cause people to opt out,ranging from infidelity,physical and psychological abuse,to lies and false identity however the case may be,all these are no justifiable reasons for breaking the oath binded union because they were in the relationships or the individuals before they walked down the aisle.

My thirst for knowledge about Under whose authority the wife is after divorcing her husband who once had authority and coverings over her as given to him by her father is nothing but an urgent one because on this phenonmenon,destinies are continually marred.

Is the woman under her own authority? Which means,she defines what to do with her own body,where to go and not to go,when to return.

Or she has returned under her father’s authority? Which means the father can give her to another man after he has received the first rites. Or she forever remains under his roof?

What really troubles me is the nauseating increase of single mothers they now call “Baby Mamas” some who are not even concerned about marriage. They turned themselves to child bearing/sex machines.

It rips my heart apart when I see a woman devotes her life to a courship,being chasty and pure as possible but ends up being divorced or divorcing her husband who married her in a glamorous union and defiled her in an extraordinary honeymoon as well as impregnated her in a royalty filled ambience only to divorce her in a shameful and life thwarting way as well as exposed it on the media where they first flung their coursthip and wedding pictures. Sadly they could have birthed children and had to share these lads like inheritance.

But what is the panacea to this burden?

TO BE CONTINUED

Fatomilola Ezekiel Adewale is the author of Handicapped Hero. He is an evangelist of a healthy marriage and an advocate of the homeless children.

Follow me on twitter @easycare77 and Facebook @ Ezekiel Adewale Fatomilola.

Till we continue this episode next weekend,keep journeying the Marriage Journey by reading our other fascinating articles. Shalom!