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My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by smartistics(m): 10:58pm On Jan 03, 2017
Dear Op, honestly I feel your pain. But come to think of it, take your time and the the other beauty of your wife. There must be something peculiar about which is so much unique even in her flaws. Am telling you this because we both share the exact same plight but mine is just four years. My dear brother, at point in time, i seek for God's intervention and knowledge to manage it which gradually turns positive. There must be something you see in her before getting married to her initially, it's the same thing you will look into to reconsider her.
Guide her, teach her, pray for her and love her more if not but for the children. God bless you and your household.

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 10:59pm On Jan 03, 2017
delishpot:
Oo cool down. She does not want to go back to school is not reason enough to feel she isn't worth anything. You alone said she doesn't know much academically so why insist she go to school? She can't speak fluent English? Did you not know that fact before you married her? She takes in at will? Is it not you that inserts your penis inside her without protection? Do you know the effect of all these family planning on a woman's health? (Please use Google) so you can start by using a condom or practice withdrawal method. As for the business, why not start her small and then see how she manages it?
You are justvgeneraly tired of the woman so all her small faults are beginning to irritate you.
I believe you should drag her to that her favourite pastor and tell her how you feel about her. Please stop forcing the woman to go and learn she clearly doesn't like to study. Just try to rekindle the love and you guys can live happily ever after again. After all the baby she is carrying is yours.



God bless you jare.
The op giving her task she is not capable of doing. She openly said she wants to trade in a small way.. Op came up with his lofty ideas and said she should trade in wholesales. The wife knows she is yet to understand the trade, so common sense told her to start small.
Op if u don't know ? Pls know tonight your wife is wise. She knows her limitations and she searched for way to be productive around it.. but u are the one trying to change her to super mom.
I don't like enforcing career or business to women or men who clearly states they can't do what one is offering . I don't like it. Allow the person to be him or herself and u will see how she will thrive in the business or career.

Mothers wey dey sell tomatoes and pepper in small shades in streets and markets, they single hanndedly train their children into graduates. And graduates have good jobs now. Are those mothers not human being? Are they not productive in their own way?

And dress code? U can buy the kind of dresses u love so she wear them?
And with patience teach her how to write perfectly with spellings and the rest.

10 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by nonjebose(m): 11:00pm On Jan 03, 2017
Since you once saw her application letter, then I guess she wants to assist. Give her something much less than the #1.5 M you wanted to give to her for a start. Let her learn on the trade if possible.
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by chiefojiji(m): 11:01pm On Jan 03, 2017
mehn! ah don laff taya reading this thing.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by soath(m): 11:03pm On Jan 03, 2017
This thing doesn't add up to me. You should have noticed all of this while courting now. But my prayer is that the Lord will grant you wisdom to go about this.
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BLoomfrancs(m): 11:03pm On Jan 03, 2017
Acidosis:
grin grin


You're in trouble bro

gringringrin
Guy e no go better for you.
Your brother they look for solution to his problem; instead of you to suggest something you come dey tell am say him don enter one chance cheesygringringrin

E no go berra for you I sweargringringrin
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by aalangel(f): 11:04pm On Jan 03, 2017
Wonukwuru, your problem started right inside your first paragraph where you said......I have been thinking, what will i do for her to be like others.

You want her to be like others What about what she wants? You're already comparing her with other women that you're probably eyeing.

You think because you married her, she must comply to everything you say without discussion? Is she your daughter? That's your wife. You love her but you don't respect her.

Divorcing her is a stupid, flimsy excuse and it shows how weak you are.

There are three sides to this story: your side, her side and the truth...so far you've lost your case on your own side.

11 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by femi4: 11:04pm On Jan 03, 2017
FreeSpirited:
Abeg who dey fvck her?......deliberately take in?...When raw dey sweet you and u dey pour everytin inside...she force u?
na holy ghost dey touch her?
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by no1madman(m): 11:04pm On Jan 03, 2017
I must cummmmm b4 I give my opinion. .
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:05pm On Jan 03, 2017
ebby9z:

The gentleman sought your opinion but you prefer to call him names. If you can't advise him, then keep mute. Even if you see his faults, there are other humane, civil and polite ways to point those out to him. You don't just call people foolish without prior provocation. Nawa o



True I crossed the line. My apologies op, but pls next time try and understand carefully what your wife need . Bad mouthing her publicly and privately helps no one. Also looking down on her like something else is bad.. It's even worse than the foolish I mentioned earlier.
Pls learn to respect your wife and appreciate her. U married her with your eyes open.
And she's a human being. A useful one at that.
Remeber No human being is useless .

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Macchiavelli(m): 11:06pm On Jan 03, 2017
I think u should see a therapist or a counsellor with her, trust me these nairaland folks will drill a hole in your soul. i am sensing your wife has psychological problems as regards to education or being tutored.God doesn't give us a problem we cannot solve.#no to divorce#

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by beecity: 11:06pm On Jan 03, 2017
wonukwuru:
I have taken time to read all your wonderful comments, even though some are very insulting. For crying out loud, why will come online to discuss my family if I don't need a solution? I said in my post that my wife deliberately takes in anytime I remind her of what to do to assist in the family. Some of you are asking if I'm not the person doing it and why don't I use condom. For your information, my wife is the type that does not like her husband using condom on her. In fact, the day she saw condom in the house, she went to our pastor to report me that I'm using it outside. Her reasoning is that anybody with a condom is an "ashawo". On the other issue, it's not as if I never noticed her academic backwardness during our courtshithough my thought was that she will improve beside, she had over 2years extra for a course of 4years and by then we are already married. So, how could I have known that she will graduate with 3rd class? Believe me guys, I cannot lie against her on this platform. All I have said is nothing but the truth. Ok, tell me, will I stop sleeping with my wife? I have even complained to the sisters. I did not initiate this post to be rediculed, all I need is matured advice on how to handle the situation. Agreed, I made a mistake by marrying her in the first place, but it has already happened, what do I do? I'm not foolish or careless as somebody commented above.
You ain't foolish bro. I tell you it's too late for a divorce. If she dresses like someone in her late 60's accept her as she is after you married her and not her dressing. Don't be embarrassed by your own wife, someone you claim to love. People will talk that's for sure but you shouldn't join them. From what you wrote, I can deduce that you are already seeing her as 'irritating' which is wrong and should be corrected ASAP. See her as your everything. For once sit her down and hear what she has to say and don't force her to conform to your will.
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by samuelson06(m): 11:07pm On Jan 03, 2017
Hello wonukwuru, I see no big deal here. This case doesn't require divorce. Love is understanding. Understand her and love her the way she is. For your wife taking in, don't blame her please. Even if you don't like using condom, there's a natural contraceptive method you can explore. I can teach you how to go about this. For growth, I'll tell you that not everybody was created for white collar job. If she doesn't want to go back to school, then help her go into the nature of business she wants to do and that is buying and selling. Personally, I see this kind of business suitable for a housewife. I'll suggest you let her do a mono-product business in wholesale. Get a shop for her around the market and let her deal on something like peak milk or Guinness malt alone or anything you can think of that sells fast. The company would deliver the product to her and all she does is selling them. Once there's stock out, you place your order and they'll deliver to you. Don't become unnecessarily angry. She's still your wife. Get close to her and love her for who she is. Continous staying away from her is initiating divorce. She can even do well in business and earn more than you do per month. Give her the chance and follow up on the business tracking her progress. I see you are very angry; calm down and don't shout on her. She'll make you happy.

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by dljbd1(m): 11:09pm On Jan 03, 2017
maxti:
i confuse pass u bro.
Hahahahaha ...guy, this na serious issue na. Why u make me laugh like this.
This is really funny bro...U try grin

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by idupaul: 11:09pm On Jan 03, 2017
carammel:
This year makes it ten years that you have been married to her,why did it take you this long?

You just realised she is not intelligent and cannot compose a good text message after ten years right?

Anyways,your wife is the type that is contented with being a full time housewife,you cant force her to be what she doesnt want to be,you just need to work harder and harsher so you can have more to spend on your family.

African men love to be the breadwinner and the Lord of the house so keep bearing it.

Don't mind him his eyes have caught something outside
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by DukeNija(m): 11:10pm On Jan 03, 2017
LoveJesus87:
Which pain? D guy is BLOODY SUPER IDIOT walai. Dis one no be man AT ALL. I can bet my life on it. There are better ways to handle a woman Dan all des nonsense abi am I reading double ni? If its true, he should go for mental check up first

You are a dumb mofo i swear. Instead of cursing out the man who came here to seek advice you should have shut your foul mouth as reasonable people who lack proper input do. Ewu

9 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by protocoll(m): 11:10pm On Jan 03, 2017
FreeSpirited:
Abeg who dey fvck her?......deliberately take in?...When raw dey sweet you and u dey pour everytin inside...she force u?

2 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Lankyscot(m): 11:11pm On Jan 03, 2017
maxti:
i confuse pass u bro.

LWKMD

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by mctowel01: 11:11pm On Jan 03, 2017
carammel:
This year makes it ten years that you have been married to her,why did it take you this long?

You just realised she is not intelligent and cannot compose a good text message after ten years right?

Anyways,your wife is the type that is contented with being a full time housewife,you cant force her to be what she doesnt want to be,you just need to work harder and harsher so you can have more to spend on your family.

African men love to be the breadwinner and the Lord of the house so keep bearing it.
What a retaded comment. I bet you are also as retarded as the wife, if not worse. How can you be suggesting that one remains/supports a full time housewife in this present age and time. What has African men and history got to do with this? The man is well to do, and needs a supportive wife or someone reliable, you are talking trash. No wonder they say many women are dumb, just read your comment again.

5 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Duru009(m): 11:12pm On Jan 03, 2017
Didn't you date her at all...
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by chiefojiji(m): 11:12pm On Jan 03, 2017
but op, I think you're seeing another woman wey don give u efo chop, cus I wonder say na after many years of marriage u discover say she can't construct a simple text message.

I wish u could attach copy of sms she sent to your brother's so I can believe a 1st degree graduate in accounting can't put up a simple application letter.


bros, you finish your wife finish for here oooooooooo, if she mistakenly stumble on this ur post, she go just cook delicious food for you with little ota-pia-pia to spice it up.



well my candid advice, take your cross, carry it well, she's your wife. just know how to manage her, treat her like she no go school.


but come, how come she graduate for school try ask her!


maybe na runz things, cus I hardly believe your write up oooooooooo. even person wey no go school sef no fit dey do like her.



God will unconfuse you bro!

divorce is not a best option, according to the bible!
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by frubben(m): 11:13pm On Jan 03, 2017
C
carammel:
This year makes it ten years that you have been married to her,why did it take you this long?

You just realised she is not intelligent and cannot compose a good text message after ten years right?

Anyways,your wife is the type that is contented with being a full time housewife,you cant force her to be what she doesnt want to be,you just need to work harder and harsher so you can have more to spend on your family.

African men love to be the breadwinner and the Lord of the house so keep bearing it.

Leave that guy, when the will telll them observe and learn in the relationship they will not hear. He was busy enjoying the girl pussy instead studying her
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Akalia(m): 11:14pm On Jan 03, 2017
OP if she gives you the respect due you then she is to an extent pretty tolerable. I think one thing she is probably good at is cooking; since she enjoys being a housewife; am I right? If I may advice enrol her into a Kettering school(hope I got the spelling right), so she can be able to make some income from baking and all.

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Lankyscot(m): 11:15pm On Jan 03, 2017
Oga Sir,The Truth Is That You Married A Complete LIABILITY.The Signs Were There Early Enough, Why Did You Not Do The Needful Then?Why Do People Like To Manage Mediocrity Hoping There Will Be A Change? People Rarely change For The Better After Marriage Infact They Get Worse.

6 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Nobody: 11:15pm On Jan 03, 2017
mctowel01:

What a retaded comment. I bet you are also as retarded as the wife, if not worse. How can you be suggesting that one remains/supports a full time housewife in this present age and time. What has African men and history got to do with this? The man is well to do, and needs a supportive wife or someone reliable, you are talking trash. No wonder they say many women are dumb, just read your comment again.

Baba...You too dey vex ooo.

But wetin u expect ? Who fly go support if not shit.

Op don enta one chance. If not for the kids ...i for advise divorce...

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by melejo(m): 11:15pm On Jan 03, 2017
wonukwuru:
I have taken time to read all your wonderful comments, even though some are very insulting. For crying out loud, why will come online to discuss my family if I don't need a solution? I said in my post that my wife deliberately takes in anytime I remind her of what to do to assist in the family. Some of you are asking if I'm not the person doing it and why don't I use condom. For your information, my wife is the type that does not like her husband using condom on her. In fact, the day she saw condom in the house, she went to our pastor to report me that I'm using it outside. Her reasoning is that anybody with a condom is an "ashawo". On the other issue, it's not as if I never noticed her academic backwardness during our courtshithough my thought was that she will improve beside, she had over 2years extra for a course of 4years and by then we are already married. So, how could I have known that she will graduate with 3rd class? Believe me guys, I cannot lie against her on this platform. All I have said is nothing but the truth. Ok, tell me, will I stop sleeping with my wife? I have even complained to the sisters. I did not initiate this post to be rediculed, all I need is matured advice on how to handle the situation. Agreed, I made a mistake by marrying her in the first place, but it has already happened, what do I do? I'm not foolish or careless as somebody commented above.
Don't bother yourself explaining too much. You must know that nairaland is full of children. Just read the matured response and move on. Sincerely i feel your pain. I had very similar experience with the girl I was planning to marry. After trying to encourage her to improve and she kept resisting, I let her go. Yours is different because you're married already with kids so try and forget about divorce, it's not a solution to your problem. There must be something you're wife is good at. Carefully identify her area of strength and build her up. On dressing I noticed that women that have poor dressing sence hardly improve while married but its not impossible. So you need to take her out from time to time and let her get some good clothes that suitable for her especially romantic night wears. You can also buy her some simple books regularly on different subjects to improve her spoken and written English, above all don't forget to pray that's if you are not like Seun of nairaland

4 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by paykobo: 11:15pm On Jan 03, 2017
smiley
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Okeyson4wisdom(m): 11:16pm On Jan 03, 2017
Heavance:
This is a serious issue o....
I no know where to start to mend sef, God abeg save me from such
I suggest in the matter of starting a business u should look for someone that is already into the business inform the person about ur wife dream to start the business if the person agrees u call ur wife to join the person, as for the matter of divorce pls don't go there, u two should go for counseling and on ur own part compliment ur wife, in the way she is doing it right, he that is in haste to castigate his wife spreadeth his linen in a open ground and it brings shame? She is part of you.
Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by Darvel(m): 11:16pm On Jan 03, 2017
LoveJesus87:
Which pain? D guy is BLOODY SUPER IDIOT walai. Dis one no be man AT ALL. I can bet my life on it. There are better ways to handle a woman Dan all des nonsense abi am I reading double ni? If its true, he should go for mental check up first

the guy came for advice, u come dey jump up and down... see dis one...

3 Likes

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by BarrElChapo(m): 11:16pm On Jan 03, 2017
I'm not married but after 10yrs of no cogent reason except the usual marital problems you want a divorce, smacks of pure selfishness.

You alone made the choice of marrying her especially with her deficiencies eg. Poor university result. But i wonder if you didn't see the signs, if she's as dumb as you potray her.. then making conversation would have told you years again the kind of person you are dealing with.

When you marry a liability as a wife expect children as a cure for boredom and your finances would suffer but u could have gotten a vasectomy urself.

We even speaking biblically she has not done anything to warrant a divorce for those that say unfaithfulness is a ground for one.

I also don't think you have enough to get a divorce in court tho, we lawyers can do and undo

Its ur call to make tho but think about your children. Love alone doesn't carry a marriage, sacrifice does. Goodluck with whatever you decide

1 Like

Re: My Wife Is Not What I Thought Before We Got Married: I Want To Divorce by iamteegee(m): 11:16pm On Jan 03, 2017
Lmao! Did the man just say "he is adult"?? Ojebi you for b children not chyde

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