EmilieJones:
I ask because I have already asked my boyfriend to marry me. He said yes. To me it WAS the right thing to do. Just wanted a man's opinion that's all

because your boyfriend no be man ni?

okay you proposed, what's next.......who's housing who?

It only works if the woman or her family will be paying for the wedding. If it's the man's responsibility to pay for the wedding then it's his right to decide on when to propose marriage. It works for white people because it's the father of the bride that pays for the wedding.

EmilieJones:


I think it takes courage for a woman to do it

It takes more than courage... It takes a large heart and the highest risk taking capacity a woman can ever have.
That's why most ladies would rather die than do that.

lilmax:
because your boyfriend no be man ni?

okay you proposed, what's next.......who's housing who?

What next? We get married and live together. And yes my boyfriend is most definitely a man

EmilieJones:
I ask because I have already asked my boyfriend to marry me. He said yes. To me it WAS the right thing to do. Just wanted a man's opinion that's all

You asked him like "will you marry me??" in form of a condition for expressing his love in the middle of your conversation...as normal boyfriend girlfriend thing.

Or did you kneel...even without kneeling...with a ring and asked him "will you marry me??"

If the former, it is normal for any guy to say yes...even me...after all, it's just a promise.
If the latter...I doubt he actually said yes if you actually did it.

So, which one happened??

EmilieJones:


What next? We get married and live together. And yes my boyfriend is most definitely a man

proposal: I want you to marry(get ready to take responsibility) me..... I ask again are you the one housing him? there goes your answer

AngelSweetLips:
It only works if the woman or her family will be paying for the wedding. If it's the man's responsibility to pay for the wedding then it's his right to decide on when to propose marriage. It works for white people because it's the father of the bride that pays for the wedding.

Yes it is tradition for the father of the bride to pay for the wedding. But in my situation, I will be paying for it all myself. I have chosen to get married so I wouldn't expect my parents to fund it

AngelSweetLips:
It only works if the woman or her family will be paying for the wedding. If it's the man's responsibility to pay for the wedding then it's his right to decide on when to propose marriage. It works for white people because it's the father of the bride that pays for the wedding.

But proposal today doesn't necessarily mean they would get married this year or in the next two years... I think marriage proposal simply means, "I want to marry you!"... Then whenever they are able to tie the knot, they will do it.

After marriage proposal is accepted, the both would go back to their normal lives knowing that they have agreed to marry each other.

Bluezy13:



You asked him like "will you marry me??" in form of a condition for expressing his love in the middle of your conversation...as normal boyfriend girlfriend thing.

Or did you kneel...even without kneeling...with a ring and asked him "will you marry me??"

If the former, it is normal for any guy to say yes...even me...after all, it's just a promise.
If the latter...I doubt he actually said yes if you actually did it.

So, which one happened??

Seeing as we are apart right now it was in conversation. And yes I did buy him a ring

EmilieJones:
I ask because I have already asked my boyfriend to marry me. He said yes. To me it WAS the right thing to do. Just wanted a man's opinion that's all

Girl, that's very nice. Sampling all the opinions here, you might be discouraged but believe me, there are men who would really appreciate that. I for one do not consider some of these conventions people adhere to even though it doesn't sound logical enough.

krauss:

Girl, that's very nice. Sampling all the opinions here, you might be discouraged but believe me, there are men who would really appreciate that. I for one do not consider some of these conventions people adhere to even though it doesn't sound logical enough.

Thank you. It wasn't a decision I took lightly. But it was the best decision. I'm not a very traditional woman. I like to bend the rules a bit lol

There's this girl I wish to get closer to and of course I'm working on it. Believe me, if she opens her mouth to ask my hand in marriage, I wouldn't blink an eye before accepting it. My rigid opinion though.

krauss:
There's this girl I wish to get closer to and of course I'm working on it. Believe me, if she opens her mouth to ask my hand in marriage, I wouldn't blink an eye before accepting it. My rigid opinion though.

Awwwww that's real nice. Hope she does ask you. That'd be soooooooo amazing

EmilieJones:


Seeing as we are apart right now it was in conversation. And yes I did buy him a ring

That's seemingly genuine, although I would prefer you had asked if he was ready for marriage first before popping the big question to avoid him saying "After all...I didn't, you did..."
And I guess you are more financially bouyant than he is.
I'm looking at it from the African mind tho.

I wish you lifelong happiness

EmilieJones:


Yes it is tradition for the father of the bride to pay for the wedding. But in my situation, I will be paying for it all myself. I have chosen to get married so I wouldn't expect my parents to fund it

In your case I think it is allowed because you are the one taking responsibility. I noticed you're white from your dp and I might assume he is white and in that case you're culture would be different to mine.

I wouldn't propose to a man because I feel that black men from my experience would play up because I proposed.

It's my understanding that men in general are hunters and for them the thrill is in the chase, capture and mounting on the wall and watching their acomplishment.

They will guard it with their life. But if the deer shot itself, mounted itself on the roof of his car or laid down outside his door after knocking the door then he won't take much pride in it and he certainly won't mount it on his wall and show it off to everyone who enters his house.

#metaphor

krauss:
There's this girl I wish to get closer to and of course I'm working on it. Believe me, if she opens her mouth to ask my hand in marriage, I wouldn't blink an eye before accepting it. My rigid opinion though.

You think say na only you go accept am without blinking an eye? Me go kill cow that day and buy her a diamond ring the next day... Then ask her to take me to her mama the day after the next day

Wetin else I go do the day after the day after the next day? Okay, I go hit studio the day after the day after the next day and record a crazy love song and dedicate it to her.

AngelSweetLips:


In your case I think it is allowed because you are the one taking responsibility. I noticed you're white from your dp and I might assume he is white and in that case you're culture would be different to mine.

I wouldn't propose to a man because I feel that black men from my experience would play up because I proposed.

It's my understanding that men in general are hunters and for them the thrill is in the chase, capture and mounting on the wall and watching their acomplishment.

They will guard it with their life. But if the deer shot itself, mounted itself on the roof of his car or laid down outside his door after knocking the door then he won't take much pride in it and he certainly won't mount it on his wall and show it off to everyone who enters his house.

#metaphor

I love your wording. And yeah I totally understand that. But in answer to your query, no he's not white, he's African. But I sincerely hope he would be proud of me for asking such a question as to me it shows my true feelings for him. And one where I know that he couldn't ask me as he is not financially stable. But would have asked if he was

Bluezy13:




That's seemingly genuine, although I would prefer you had asked if he was ready for marriage first before popping the big question to avoid him saying "After all...I didn't, you did..."
And I guess you are more financially bouyant than he is.
I'm looking at it from the African mind tho.

I wish you lifelong happiness

Thank you. We had discussed marriage before I properly asked him lol. I wouldn't have just sprung it on him out of the blue

Emac34:
I'm open minded
Filling where supposed to be expressed not staying and dying emotionally

Feelings.

EmilieJones:


Thank you. We had discussed marriage before I properly asked him lol. I wouldn't have just sprung it on him out of the blue

Now that's more defined.
I just wanted to know how you came about it.
It is a good thing.

AngelSweetLips:


In your case I think it is allowed because you are the one taking responsibility. I noticed you're white from your dp and I might assume he is white and in that case you're culture would be different to mine.

I wouldn't propose to a man because I feel that black men from my experience would play up because I proposed.

It's my understanding that men in general are hunters and for them the thrill is in the chase, capture and mounting on the wall and watching their acomplishment.

They will guard it with their life. But if the deer shot itself, mounted itself on the roof of his car or laid down outside his door after knocking the door then he won't take much pride in it and he certainly won't mount it on his wall and show it off to everyone who enters his house.

#metaphor

Not all guys love that silly chase of a thing. I for one wouldn't dare disregard a lady who could take that bold step... I go break bank for her and break all my rules for her... I'll give her my ATM card (of course money no dey inside ).

You see, I'm different from the rest

Bluezy13:



Now that's more defined.
I just wanted to know how you came about.
It is a good thing.

Well basically we have a child together so I want us to be a married family. Kind of cement our relationship. Why want to live the rest of your life with someone and not marry them? That's my view though

EmilieJones:


I love your wording. And yeah I totally understand that. But in answer to your query, no he's not white, he's African. But I sincerely hope he would be proud of me for asking such a question as to me it shows my true feelings for him. And one where I know that he couldn't ask me as he is not financially stable. But would have asked if he was

I really pray for you sis...

Us women are evil when we have power over a man... we tend to throw it in their face that we are the bread winner and that we did this and that and that he is not a real man... Please with power comes great responsibility so be very careful.

Another thing is this reversal of roles especially when an African man is concerned is really dangerous because men operate on logic without emotions and you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.

If you take on the role of providing, asking and doing your own marriage rights, bringing the home and I have a feeling that because he is here in Africa then he will be joining you instead of you joining him... it's a really big risk...

ikp120:


Not all guys love that silly chase of a thing. I for one wouldn't dare disregard a lady who could take that bold step... I go break bank for her and break all my rules for her... I'll give her my ATM card (of course money no dey inside ).

You see, I'm different from the rest

This is another problem. The woman will enable him to be lazy and because she took the chase out of the game then she can't try and change him to be responsible after the fact.

Atm card you crack me up!

EmilieJones:


I love your wording. And yeah I totally understand that. But in answer to your query, no he's not white, he's African. But I sincerely hope he would be proud of me for asking such a question as to me it shows my true feelings for him. And one where I know that he couldn't ask me as he is not financially stable. But would have asked if he was

Please shine your eyes o ... Yahoo boys full naija o... one out of every 5 Naija university or polytechnic school boy is a yahoo boy... I hope you are not a maga sha.

AngelSweetLips:


I really pray for you sis...

Us women are evil when we have power over a man... we tend to throw it in their face that we are the bread winner and that we did this and that and that he is not a real man... Please with power comes great responsibility so be very careful.

Another thing is this reversal of roles especially when an African man is concerned is really dangerous because men operate on logic without emotions and you are putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.

If you take on the role of providing, asking and doing your own marriage rights, bringing the home and I have a feeling that because he is here in Africa then he will be joining you instead of you joining him... it's a really big risk...

OK thank you. We have a child together so to me it would be the right thing to do. Maybe it is a big risk. Suppose only time will tell. I value your opinion

ikp120:


Please shine your eyes o ... Yahoo boys full naija o... one out of every 5 Naija university or polytechnic school boy is a yahoo boy... I hope you are not a maga sha.

I really don't understand what you just said. What's a Yahoo boy? And what's a maga sha?

EmilieJones:


OK thank you. We have a child together so to me it would be the right thing to do. Maybe it is a big risk. Suppose only time will tell. I value your opinion

You're very welcome. Best of luck.

AngelSweetLips:


You're very welcome. Best of luck.

Thank you x

EmilieJones:


Well basically we have a child together so I want us to be a married family. Kind of cement our relationship. Why want to live the rest of your life with someone and not marry them? That's my view though

That's actually the antecedent of the whole thing. I'm glad to know more now.
Initially, It was weird seeing your premise about proposing to a man...just like that.

It is very principled and wise of you to decided to take the bull by the horn.

As per myself, although I'm young...or so I think...the thought of marriage scares me...like going to jail.
Anyways, how is he doing

AngelSweetLips:


This is another problem. The woman will enable him to be lazy and because she took the chase out of the game then she can't try and change him to be responsible after the fact.

Atm card you crack me up!

Lolzzz

I am not lazy joor... I work really hard

EmilieJones:


Thank you x

Do you have a boy or a girl together? They must be sooo cute! I love mix raced children. Although I want my baby to look like me so I don't tend to mix with other races only out of choice though. #say no to racism#