Relationships are a natural part of the human
reproductive cycle. It's what, in the eyes of
many, makes life worth living. But finding 'the
one' is now harder than ever, and with dating
apps on the rise, current generations are now
spoilt for choice. Even older generations are
finding it increasingly difficult. After all, work commitments in modern-day economies are increasing, while wages only seem to stagnate.

But they're not the only reasons. In fact, in the
grander scheme of things, you're likely to be
single because of you. Yes, YOU! Here are ten
possible explanations.

1. Your standards are too high
This is a general problem with both sexes. For
guys, perhaps you've been watching too many
Victoria Secret Fashion shows. Or if you're a girl,
maybe you have a crush on a member of a
boyband that in your eyes is perfect and can't
possibly be found among the 'regular' crowd.
Well, that will only get you so far. It's okay to
have celebrity crushes, or even just have an idea
of who your perfect future partner is. But if you
have a specific checklist, it's unlikely you'll ever
find 'the one.'
That doesn't mean you should date anyone, but
you should be open-minded to dating people for
an array of reasons, and not merely the ones you
deem acceptable.

2. You can't get over your ex
Relationship breakdowns are a hard lesson in
life. They hurt like hell, but they also invaluable
lessons in how to improve yourself as well as
what to look for in others. But, if you haven't yet
learned anything, and still wish deep-down you
had them in your life, then it;s unlikely you'll
embrace any possible new suitors- even if they
happened to be your dream partner, Don't let
that happen to you. It's a cliched saying but time
really is a healer. For some, however, it can take
longer than others. Don't prolong your
heartbreak. Learn from it and learn to love again.

3. You enjoy you own company too much
Ah, we all know one of those! Time is a precious
commodity, and for some, theirs must be
regimented into a daily routine.
Take this is an example. X is in a relationship
with Y. If you want to see X at 1, then Y will
have to wait an hour as X adheres to a
particular weight training session at that time. Or
if you want to see X after work, then even
that might have to wait as X wishes to get on
with their outside projects. Still with us? If you
are, then there's a high chance you can relate to
X and Y. That, in a nutshell, is why the right kind
of love- the mutually exclusive kind- is so rare.
You have to want to see each other equally. If
you feel you're like X and likes doing their own
thing, then that's perfectly fine. But if you're
looking for a relationship as well, chances are
you'll have to show a bit more commitment.

4. You don't take pride in your appearance
Don't take this the wrong way. Taking pride in
your appearance doesn't mean becoming a gym
going, hair gel enthusiast. But a little pride can
go a long way. It shows you're proud of yourself
and that you carry yourself in a respectable
manner. If you go up to someone looking like a
shaggy dog who hasn't bathed in weeks, chances
are they're not going to be too pleased.

5. You have little to no confidence
For some, being single offers the
liberating prospect of seeing who you like, when
you like. But for others, being single isn't
something they embrace. It can be awful, and
knowing they're is someone you like, but not
having the social capabilities to talk to them can
be a huge cause of sadness and depression. This
is often the case with guys, who- as social
norms dictate- are often required to make the
first move.
But there is a solution. You! Yes, you are the
answer. And whether you're a man or women,
brushing up on a few social skills can
significantly improve your chances. Try asking
your friend to play the part of a potential
suitor. It may seem silly, but if you practice
potential questions and responses, then you're
more likely to feel prepared.

6.You're scared of commitment
Now, onto the other side of singlehood. As
alluded to briefly above, for some men and
women, singledom is nothing to cry over. If
anything, it's a time where you can be in a
relationship with yourself, and be in control of
every aspect of your life. But there comes a time
when the novelty will fade, and the Sunday spent
in bed will feel empty and cold. So, when that
day does come, prepare to sacrifice parts of your
life for that future partner. All love requires
sacrifice, and cutting your gym sessions down
from 5 a week to 3 will hardly ruin your life. In
fact, it will make it better.

7. You let your job define you
Increasingly, working hours are on the rise, and if
you live in a big city, the chances are that's
always going to be the case until retirement. But
that doesn't mean you can't enjoy yourself. Or
take full advantage of your holiday allowance.
It's important, not just because it allows you
time to date more, but also because your life, in
the general scheme of time, is significantly
short. If you spend 80% of your adult life behind
the desk, no matter how much money you earn,
your youth will pass you by.
Work and play hard by all means, but don't be
that person who loves their blackberry more than
their partner.

8. You're too clingy
Unless you've both decided to to start a little
farming community in Sudan, chances are you'll
want to keep up with outside social
engagements. You might even want to see your
parents every now and then. And that's fine!
Remember, they were there from the beginning.
You weren't.
So If you're of the clingy disposition then take a
step back and assess what your grievances are?
Are you genuinely concerned at not seeing them
enough? Or are you with each other so much,
that any time apart feels wrong? If the answer is
the latter, then you're certainly a hanger-on. But
don't be. It's great you're passionately in love
with someone, but it's also unhealthy. Develop
your own life, and carry on with what you had
before. You had a life before them, and you can
still focus on yourself, and over time, the
relationship will be better for it.
If that wasn't persuasive, then let these wise
words of wordsmith William Shakespeare sink in.
'Go wisely and slowly. Those who rush stumble
and fall.' The guy had a point...

9. You're worried what other people think
This type of mentality can be destructive. If
that's the case then perhaps you should assess
why you care about the opinions of others? This
could range from whether you think the partner
will be deemed attractive enough to others, or
even worried that others will disapprove of their
social class. If that's the case, then you'll likely
always be single as it's rare that all your friends
and family will approve. Remember, beauty is in
the eye of the beholder. If you see beauty where
others don't, then that's their loss and your gain.

10. You don't listen enough
All relationship counselors and marriage
therapists will tell you the number one skill to a
happy partnership is listening. If you feign
interest and don't have a care for their opinions,
then you shouldn't be with them in the first
place.
But if you do really like them and just happen to
be a terrible listener, then develop listening skills.
It's crucial, not just for a happy relationship, but
also for learning. If you speak all the time, you're
not learning. And if you're not learning, it's
unlikely you'll ever become a good partner.
Harsh, but true.

  Cc;
Lalasticlala, Mynd44, Fynestboi

Guilty of number 7


I think I'm married to my job

7.....

3 and 6

But it's not a crime to be single

1, 3, 6, 7

my brother I am finding naija women personality wise very uninteresting and am not pursuing them at the moment, they all talk about the same stuff and since they are women its not stuff we have in common or relatable. Pursing my own goals and dreams is the mission and will be for the next 5 years, and probably my whole life