It is a widely known fact that every relationship  is unique in its own way. What rocks my boat might sink yours and whats good for the goose is not neccessarily good fort the gander  but there are certain factors  that can crash any relationship if not properly checked. 

I would briefly explain  five of these common reasons  why relationship fail and marriages  destroy.  




*Lack of communication :* communication they say is the basis of every interpersonal  relationship and same goes for a romantic relationship  or a marriage. When couples stop  communicating, it spells doom on the relationship as it gives room for other minor factors that destroy relatiionships to creep in. Without communication  a relationship cannot simply exist so if you find out you are not communicating  with your spouse there is a big problem which would grow bigger if not looked into. Communication as the basis of relationship  can also be the reason a relationship  crash. If you can't  communicate  with your spouse about certain things  and experess your pleasure or displeasure about certain things such relationship is heading for the rocks. In asmuch communication  is important , it is also vital for you to know when to communicate  about certain things to syour spouse and when not to communicate. For instance when you want to discuss sensitive issues with your spouse make sure he/she  is in a relaxed mood and not in a tensed mood as that  can hamper on the outcome of such discussion. 

*Lack of Trust:*it is so ironic that what builds a relationship can also bring it down.  Trust is also an important pillar on which relationships are founded and once there is a reduction in the value of trust given or earned in a relationship it breeds jealousy and resentment. Once trust is evicted and jealousy  creeps in, feelings of insecurities begin to grow and also side by side with resentment. This is not healthy for a relationship. Once you notice you  are loosing trust for your spouse because of certain instances or actions, communicate with your spouse and pour out your mind.  However if you know that  because of certain actions or instances your  spouse cannot gain your trust anymore, thats the point where the best and wisest decision  is to take a bow out of such relationship.

*Shortage of love:*many would wonder what i mean by shortage of love since love is not a commodity.  When love is not being circulated in a relationship its just a signal for an impending doom. A relationship  is not meant to be onesided so if only a party is showing love  while the other is at the receiving end without at least reciprocating the gesture occasionally that means there is lack of love or shortage of love.  When we talk about love,  it does not just mean uttering the over used phrase "i love you" no it transcends  that.  It means having an high degree of liking the totality of the individual and showing it conciously and sub consciously with your actions and reactions. If that is missing, then there is no love. 

*Keeping too many secrets:*don't  get me wrong i am not saying that good relationships dont have secrets, they do but when there are lots of secrets being kept by both parties thats a red flag that such  relationship is not meant to be.  As i mentioned  earlier once there is "real love" exiting between spouse no secrets would be hidden because you both have advanced to a level where you are willing to accept each others flaws and building something better.  Some scholars would argue that there are some secrets not worth telling but i am of the opinion that if you dont tell your spouse those things about you and make him/her accept you the way you are those same secrets might come to haunt you at the verge of your happiness. 

*Domination of a party*: a relationship  in general sense is partnership.  This simply means everything that  happens in a relationship  must be a joint agreement between both parties.  If it seems one party is dominating and calling the shots  without consideration  of the other party such relationship is just a disaster waiting to happen.  This particular trait affects the men more  especially  when they  provide  everything financially in the relationship. They tend to want to call the shot always based on the fact that if they allow the lady call the shots occasionally  it would be a wound on their ego.  However,  there are ladies too who try to dominate their relationships probably because they are more educated or earn more than their spouse. Domination in a relationship  is not meant to be considered at all as both parties are meant to make decisions as one. 

As i said earlier, i would be stopping at five but let me add one more. 

Intolerance: anybody in a relationship must be able to exercise an high level of tolerance and if you can't  do that it's  best you back out of the relationship as your spouse  might deliberately  or by chance annoy you so you have to be tolera t enough to enjoy your relationship.

Do you agree?  Please add yours. 



source: https://relationshipnsex./2017/01/16/five-things-that-destroy-relationships/