InformedLola:


Lailai, it can never be OUR money when the other party is contributing nothing to it. That's the fact. It's his money and he has every right to be worried about how it's being spent. Haba, put yourself in his shoes now, economy is not smiling. Get back to your grind and contribute, even if it's a little, then it gets back to being OUR money.

You're not ready for marriage. My money will always bring resentment. Just look at the OP.

tillaman:
Then weneva he comes crawling to u at night tryna remove ur wrapper to log in. Tell him it's ur kpekus not ours

That would be the last straw!

This present economy don cause too many wahala... people dey vex no be small. But then the man must understand say na him responsibility to cater for his family. Them no dey force person to marry o. If your level never pure, hustle real hard before you go dey form marriage.

As boys dey talk..." ready ko to lo redi"

Abi nw, na so e suppose b nw

Scream:



That would be the last straw!

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Give and it shall be given unto you

I am impressed by the quality of advices I have seen so far... great job y'all.
I know of a situation that presents a different perspective.
This guy was preparing to wed this lady and was having the discussions about how the prospective family resources will be managed. And the lady clearly pointed out the she was not interested in having shared family income with her husband saying the for her, her money is her money. This guy went ahead to marry her with the understanding that her money is her money and he will do the manly thing and provide for the family. The guy kept his promise to be the sole provider. She proved her stand by not showing him any money she gets and when he asked her to just inform him just for information sake, she said that it was her money given to her by her own relatives and so he has no right to know.
Some months down the line the same woman started complaining that the man does not allow her to make decisions on the finances of the family and accused him of thinking it's his own money. The guy being principled reminded her of their agreement about finance management in the relationship and the woman sulked and complained but the guy refused to give in.
Now the essence of this boring story is to point out that some ladies have the notion that their money is their own money while the man's money is "our" money.
I am not saying it is the case with the OP but this is just a different perspective to the discuss... thank you.

Olufemiolaolu:
u just need 2 get a job 2 add value 2 ur family. Sitting @ home ll make u rusty. Bothering him 4 money 4 ur personal things isn't OK.

Okay. Thanks

airminem:


Sometimes Men Just Don't Get The Fact We Are Workin At Home... We Just Don't Get A Paycheck For It, Okay.

Which work. You dey collect paycheck for una papa house.... Nonsense

PaperLace:
My sister, 1yr and half? it's Buhari's economy.
Everyone is getting worked up, we're not getting value for our money and hardwork.

---

We should be more bothered 'bout how you can make some money, while still having time for you baby.

Modified: it seems you really want us to blame the man, and we have refused...lols. Okay, his money is una money, but you have a better idea of what he earns_ less the incessant hike in prices of recurrent expenditure from it and you'll understand why he is angry.
Have you bothered to ask what he thinks he should have achieved? Maybe he planned buying a land in 2016, this is 2017, no land-no savings. Men naturally get angry when they are not meeting their target.

I didn't advise you to jump back into teaching because the average teaching jobs doesn't pay that much. It may not give your family's financial condition the required boost. There are so many things you can do from home to earn better than the average teacher. If you really want a career in teaching, you can do certification(s) while at home, that way...you'll be relevant upon your return.

Abeg I owe u, 200naira recharge card.....how do you claim it?......You want us to fault the man Lol...he is not at fault...oshe for that wisdom...and the advice given on venting into a small scale biz? In fact u need another card

mayoor15:
Which work. You dey collect paycheck for una papa house.... Nonsense

Abusive Man. Hmmm

As a woman, staying at home without any source of income or help from your husband can be very frustrating. Men most times are more worried about investments and not the immediate wants or needs of the wife or child.I believe no matter how small your hubby's salary is, there should be no "my" money since there was nothing like that when you had a job.

My little advice is, apart from teaching, if there's anything you love doing e.g baking, beading, make up e.t.c,convert it to business as soon as possible.Yes, it will not be easy at first but the little you will get is far better than being in the house and quarrelling over his money.There are so many cases like this OP, you just have to be patient and make your own money too.

Also, sit him down and tell him how things where and how he has changed.

Thats why am here on nairaland. You can be at home caring for your baby while you set up a mini business for yourself. You will be surprise you earn more than your teaching job.

Am talking reality but truth is bitter. If you want to start something.........consider honey business. I tell you its so lucrative but many underate it.

Get supplied from a trusted and genuine supplier like me ,with 4yrs experience
Its not compulsory you start big, 2kegs is enough
bottle into gossy ang begin to sell
the honey will speak for you
You keep increasing in capital and profit
Contact me tru my signature , and see for yourself

Na him sabi

Joavid:


Why are you seeing this from "his money, our money" thing?
its just talk from a tired man.

The issue you should focus on is the family eating deep into his finances and he can barely save.

Have you taken into consideration how much he earns?

Do you know how frustrating it is working and having little to zero savings

So is he not suppose to take care of his family as a man? Y getting upset because his wife isn't working for now, he should rather discuss with his wife amicably, table his salary before her and let them jointly plan together instead of getting angry at the woman, marriage comes with a lot of responsibility especially on the mans part. Back to you madam, I think you should think of how you will be earning something no matter how small it is. I tell you, even if your husband happens to be the richest man on earth and gives you all that you needed, nothing beat the joy of earning some money as a woman. I will advice you dust your certificate and go look for a job especially the teaching job u were formally into. Don't mind oga, he is just angry; probably he feels you don't know the stress he goes through at work to earn the money since you aren't working.

airminem:
I am a stay at home mom, for now. I was laid off from a teaching job while pregnant and decided to use this time to care for our 8months son. In the beginning there was never an issue with one persons money being his or hers it was always ours.

Now after a year and a half anything I spend becomes an issue. When we talk about money he talks about working his a.s.s off, having nothing to show for it, because I'm spending HIS money.

Surprisingly, I don't even shop. Every once in a while I may purchase something for the home or something our kid need. I'm almost tempted to go on back to work, but I would like to stay out one more year until our son is of preschool age. I don't know if I will be able to make it that long.

It just seems like when you become a stay at home mom and don't earn an income you become less than, not equal, and nothing is truly yours because you didn't earn it. Just because we are at home doesn't mean we don't work, we just don't get paid for it.

mention the thing you bought that caused fight. Confess. What is the little thing you bought for the house.

airminem:


Sometimes Men Just Don't Get The Fact We Are Workin At Home... We Just Don't Get A Paycheck For It, Okay.

we get it
We appreciate
We just don't like when you spend money on asoebi and other mumu things when we don't have savings or assets

airminem:


Sometimes Men Just Don't Get The Fact We Are Workin At Home... We Just Don't Get A Paycheck For It, Okay.

You sound like you live in the States. If so, you should know it ain't easy to live on one paycheck when one has family.

He is wrong for saying those words though but every man who can't boast of at least $10k savings can say such words out of frustration.

airminem:


Outcome Of Our Previous Discus ~ He Says That's His Money So He Should Knw What He Does Wit It And The Day I Work Then I Can Claim My Own Money. This Is So Hard To Deal With. Thanks Though

you too why did you marry broke man wen no appreciate you

Sorry Dearie! I can feel your pains with calmness in your post! If not for being laid off, you wouldn't have experienced this. I pray God will provide a new job for you and also increase your husband's purse. Blame the economy.

sisisioge:
Biko, you have tried. Enough of being a stay at home mother. Dust your papers and go look for job. Let the next worry you guys do together becomes getting competence hands to do the plenty nothings you were doing while 'sitting' at home. At least, he would pay for a nanny and a house keeper! Ungrateful lot!

Nothing beats earning one's own income though.

Is there any written rule that the man must do the part in bold above?

peacemara54:
Thats why am here on nairaland. You can be at home caring for your baby while you set up a mini business for yourself. You will be surprise you earn more than your teaching job.

Am talking reality but truth is bitter. If you want to start something.........consider honey business. I tell you its so lucrative but many underate it.

Get supplied from a trusted and genuine supplier like me ,with 4yrs experience
Its not compulsory you start big, 2kegs is enough
bottle into gossy ang begin to sell
the honey will speak for you
You keep increasing in capital and profit
Contact me tru my signature , and see for yourself

Please my friend, which state do u reside? I need pure and original honey please. Will appreciate your prompt response.

onos217:
My dear sister, If I should consider the rigorous exercise I have to pass through every week just to earn the peanut I receive at the end of the month,I doubt if I would still have the heart to give a shilling to anyone.
Every week you work your ass-out,and at the end of the month, when you weigh the peanut you earn and the expenses that must be taken care of, you're left with little or nothing to save. This is after working tirelessly in the office, and when you get home, the whole of you is restless because of excruciating body pain.
My dear sister, find a way to assist your hubby, and put an end to this our-money-thing.I for one don't like women that solely depend on their hubby for everything they need.Yes,it is the responsibility of the man to cater for the family, but don't overburden the man.As a matter of fact, the man needs assistance too.Just look for a way to assist him .
God bless you .

On top of that you'll be expected at some point to buy land, build a house in the city where you are based, build one in the village and save for other things.

How would one achieve those if you keep spending all you earn just to make wify happy?

nwabobo:


Is there any written rule that the man must do the part in bold above?

See question! You should ask where it's a rule for a man to pay the children's school fees, house rent, food and supplies , etc. Abi you heard from our papas and their papas before them say Na women dey pay am?

Go and do family planning and face your career squarely for the next 2-3 years. Men, na so them be.

tillaman:
Then weneva he comes crawling to u at night tryna remove ur wrapper to log in. Tell him it's ur kpekus not ours

Na that night she carry her clothes not ours and all her belongings not 'ours' go her papa house.

In fact, she fit get up collect transport dey go that night, I go carry her things not 'ours' go for her mk she no stress herself.

-Lord

sisisioge:
Biko, you have tried. Enough of being a stay at home mother. Dust your papers and go look for job. Let the next worry you guys do together becomes getting competence hands to do the plenty nothings you were doing while 'sitting' at home. At least, he would pay for a nanny and a house keeper! Ungrateful lot!

Nothing beats earning one's own income though.

so becos of one man's behaviour u nw tink u r right to call all men 'ungrateful lot'. So much of hate in u.. Mind u d job of bringing up a child is nt meant for nannies and dt of house keeping isnt for hus girls but for wives.

ststyreal:

Please my friend, which state do u reside? I need pure and original honey please. Will appreciate your prompt response.

Am in ekiti state but we supply from adamawa from cameroun. check my thread on agriculture, business, family and more. we supply nothing but raw honey directly from the bees we deliver to states in nigeria.. See a lot of nairalander that have ordered. They keep coming because our honey passed the quality test in flying colours,
I think you can check my signature for whatsapp chat. Any information you need pls contact me tru whatsapp or this forum better still. Try to reach me on sun if you have interest buying because we have few jericans left. Original honey is scarce now. we will sell the last honey available to buyers on mon, after, we wont be having honey till march. Contact me 2mrw if you need honey.

airminem:


I think it should be OUR money regardless if both parties are working or not. I totally understand where you're coming from and am also looking to the answers people respond with.

Well, he personally earned the money from his own hard work. So yeah, it's HIS money.