Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 7:31pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
I have been dating a great guy for 3 months now, although we are kind of broken up at the moment for reasons I will post below The problems started when my boyfriends good friend for 15 yrs told my best friend that my boyfriend was married back home but him and the wife are seperated. Of course when i met my boyfriend, he said he was not married, of course. I have never caught him in a lie about anything else so, The bad part is, when I heard this, I reacted a bit too rash and text my boyfriend that I wanted my things that he had borrowed back from him and that it was over because of what I had heard from his good friend who is like a family member to him. Of course he maintains he is not married, of course Why would his best friend lie to my best friend? Is my boyfriend the liar or the good friend? Now when I called the best friend, he did not pick his phone. And now is phone is disconnected, my best friend who was still talking to him (they were trying to start their own relationshp) says she does not have his new number. So till now, I have not been able to talk to my boyfriends good friend at all and of course he will or has not contacted me. Lastly, I told my boyfriend sorry for how I reacted and let's talk about things and sort things out, but now he refuses to get back with me citing the reason is how I reacted to the news. He doesn't want to talk at all. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by justwise(m): 7:37pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
U reacted too quickly, give him sometimes to cool off. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by mamagee3(f): 7:43pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
Both are retarded.  |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 7:44pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
Thank You, That is what another friend told me. He came by the other day to drop my things to me, he drove 1 1/2 hrs to do so rather than just posting the things which would have cost him way less. He acted like he didn't care, but when he saw my mom, he went over to her and tried to prolong conversation. After he left, my mom called him and asked what happened. He just started complaining about the situation, he still sounded angry about the whole thing and told my mom that he no longer has confidence in me and feels he cannot trust me again. So I was wondering, is it that he is just still mad and wants me to stress before taking me back or is he really serious that he no longer is interested? |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Nobody: 8:00pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
I think he has something to hide. I mean why would his best friend want to lie about that  If he really is not married, then he's taking it too far. He should understand with you why you took his friend's word, afterall, ther are best of frinds. If he wanted to clear his name, then let him confront his frind in your presence. My dear, I've learnt that some guys can be terrible . . dont ever think you did anything wrong by believing his friend. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by justwise(m): 8:06pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
Ujujoan: Have to agree with u there. He is trying to cover it up by acting angry. How come suddently the friend refused to pick his call and her friend doesn't know his new number? I smell a rat. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Nobody: 11:37pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
@poster what more do you need?! the writing is on the wall, you just have to read it. if i was accused of something i didnt do then i would FIGHT to clear my name and if it was really bullshit then i would have called my ¨best friend¨ that same minute and ask him to come and sort this mess out. if they really are tight friends then there wouldnt have been a problem to do so if it was really not true. he just walked away like that for this little thing then he didnt really care about what you guys had. you have ALL THE RIGHTS to react the way you did, nobody wants to date a person that is ¨supposedly¨ a liar and probably married or separated. if your BF doesnt understand that then there is not much you can do about it but to forget about him. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by posakosa(m): 11:44pm On Nov 30, 2009 |
Follow ur heart and find another man. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by iice(f): 4:16pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
Intuition would tell you Depending on how long you're dated, how well you can read him, how close you are, how receptive you are. . .you'd know if he's lying. Some people are jealous or want something or someone one, another has. I've seen it happen a couple of times. Some women are intuitive enough to know that the friend has some screws loose  or have a hidden agenda. Some men don't want to have to prove something. . .it's like when someone says, 'well, if you think this of me, then you don't really know me' (kinda in that disappointing way). Or he's hurt, you never gave him the chance to counter before reacting. Or he really could have been married before. Anyway. . .it's just another day in the drama segment called human behaviour People can be devious  What may pass for normal and sane on the surface isn't always as it looks. Many aren't rational What does your gut tell you? You guys need to have a talk to come to a conclusion. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by whitelexi(m): 4:28pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
It is a 50 - 50 situation He may have lied to you on the one hand, and on the other hand u may have seriously cocked up. Family members have problems let alone best friends, and jealousy can lead to all sorts before its curbed! |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Busta(f): 4:32pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
Give him his space for now. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Czarskit(m): 4:37pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
Ehm, You, Ehm, You. . .  |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Dewdeuces(f): 5:11pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
MRbrownJAY: true |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by omega25red(m): 5:24pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
His good friend is a jack ass for saying that crap to your friend and when he came to drop your things you should have confronted him about the where abouts of his friend. Besides what do you care if he is married you will leave him any way. so if he is giving up on the relationship let him go because chances are, he is married back home and because he knows it will have to come out eventually he figures he should leave now so thank your stars that he is leaving |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by ruskiee(m): 5:28pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
They probably planned the whole thing. I'm just saying. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by omega25red(m): 5:31pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
ruskiee: ^^^ very good point didnt even think of that. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 5:44pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
His good friend is a jack ass for saying that crap to your friend and when he came to drop your things you should have confronted him about the where abouts of his friend. Besides what do you care if he is married you will leave him any way. so if he is giving up on the relationship let him go because chances are, he is married back home and because he knows it will have to come out eventually he figures he should leave now so thank your stars that he is leaving Until now, I have wondered why his good friend would tell my best friend knowing that she and I talk all the time and are tight. ***UPDATE*** My best friend did something shady last week and I have stopped talking to her for now. NL's - 2 days after I comfronted my boyfriend, him knowing I was still hurt and upset, according to my best friend, he called her to "clear his name" and explain to her that he loved me and that he was not married, blah, blah, blah. Plus being that he is in the military that the military would have to know if he was married and he is not so, blah blah blah. But the funny thing is after he made this call to my friend - she was reluctant to be the intermediary (normally she loves this stuff) but she started acting strange about trying to put us back together. And then he went cold and began not talking. So I have been confused as to why you call to profess your love for someone and sound apologetic and then just disappear. I could not comfront him like I wanted when he came to drop off my things as I, I was shocked how he just showed up early in the morning - no warning. Normally he would not drive such a distance that early morning so I was puzzled. My "gutt" tells me and it was obvious to people there that he did not drive 90 min. one way just to drop off software disks and a key. My mom and a family friend were there so it would have been awkward. I could tell that he wanted or was expecting for us to be able to talk but, after trying to force continue my mom in conversation, he walked over to me, handed me the things and said he would talk to me later. And that was 3 days ago. Like I said before, my mom called and he told her that he cannot trust me, he lost confidence in me, blah blah blah, he was venting and still very upset. If he is really married, no I do not want to date him and I am thanking my lucky stars that he is gone. But if he is not, then yes I want him back. We had a good relationship. He used to drive down every weekend and we would really have fun and he was very good to my children most of all. I am so grateful to you Nairalanders for the advice - I am pondering all that I receive.  This thing has been paining me so much and is really confusing. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Nobody: 5:55pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
I have the same story here.I got heard he had got married after 5yrs from his blood brother and whn i confronted him,he denied it.And up till now,he refused to tell me the truth.Each time i asked him,he got angry and walked away.I know deep within that he is lying cos his blood wuld not lie against him. Now i hv walked away. @poster You shld thank your God for his friend that revealed this secret.He might know know why he told you or whn he voiced out cos the my own case the brother was mad at himself for telling me abt his brother.He is just using that his attitude to camo for you.Looking for the way to break up with you since you hv a clue of his private life now.He never believed it that such truth wuld ever come out and whn it finally came out,the next thing to do is to look for the way to dump you since u cant date a married man and his secret has bn revealed. My advise id that u move ahead and dont bother to get in touch with him.try to ignore him and dont beg him again.He will come back to you but tell him it is over.Dont be dececived again or feel guilty abt ur action. A word is enuf , |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by omega25red(m): 6:04pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
I think your so called friend is sleeping with him which is why they planned to break the both of you up so they could be together. He showed up early in the morning which means your friend with whom he is sleeping with told him to hurry up and return the stuff so they could go on with their lives at least thats what im starting to suspect now. why would she not want to patch up your relationship with a man who im sure she knows you really like i mean if anything thats what a friend does as in help out so watch out for her |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 6:15pm On Dec 01, 2009 |
I think your so called friend is sleeping with him which is why they planned to break the both of you up so they could be together. He showed up early in the morning which means your friend with whom he is sleeping with told him to hurry up and return the stuff so they could go on with their lives at least thats what im starting to suspect now. You know, I thought of that, Or was wondering if she tried to throw herself at him because there have been a couple of "fishy" incidents on her part during this whole thing. I didn't think that initially because, not to be mean, but she is much older (9 yrs older than him and 12 years older than me) and she is unattractive, but you never know. My family strongly suspects that she tried to go after him when he called her to "plead his case" and maybe - since she and I are supposed to be so close that threw him off and just wanted space or something, My family also thinks that she has said negative things about me to him to make sure we do not get back together out of jealousy as she has no relationship of her own and has not had one in years. Plus she is in love with a guy who does not love her the same way so, |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Nobody: 5:53am On Dec 02, 2009 |
What does his BF gain from lying to you? He told you the truth and your boyfriend has warned him to keep away from you. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by frank317: 4:34pm On Dec 02, 2009 |
ruskiee:gbam! girly, get wise and learn. you have just been played. i actually have helped a friend drive away his babe through this method. it reduces guilt. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by kpolli(m): 4:42pm On Dec 02, 2009 |
the day a woman understands a mans behaviour, she will win a ticket to heaven straight |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Raymo(m): 2:49pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
Hello my dear, there are what we call fact finder. You don't rush things especially when it has to do with some one you love. Now read this very carefully. 1. Take extra pain to find out the truth of the matter before you continue your begging. 2. If he is guilty call him for a meeting and tell him your mind, but make sure you don't continue with the relationship cos he can kill you one day without anybody knowing. 3. If he is not guilty go to his house and beg for audience make sure you narrate every thing to him. Ask for his forgiveness even if his not accepting you back as a lover. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by galatico(m): 3:26pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
Hush!!! Babe you reacted too soon, something similar to that happened to me. I wooed a babe that lives in my street, three houses from mine, you know girls stuff, she didn't say YES, although I knew she had accepted, didn't bother anymore, all of a sudden I got a text message from after she tried calling me and I wasn't picking not intentional though. The Problem was that a friend of hers, who reside in the same compound as her, told her some stupid stories about which was untrue and she just reacted, she should have confronted me which she never did she sent me a terrible text message and since then I have not been able to forgive her, cuz each time I see her I remember the text message and it makes me want to shoot her. When you hear something bad about your boyfriend you can either investigate to confirm the genunity of the story before reacting, what if the guy wants to date you and your boyfriend his is only obstacle, so he has to try and make you guys brake up before coming for you, |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by candyshore: 4:05pm On Dec 07, 2009 |
POSTER JUST BE CAREFUL THIS CAN BE A PLAN I DONT REALLY SEE WHY A GOOD FRIEND OF HIS WOULD LIE TO U ABOUT HIS FRIEND BEING MARRIED, IF HE WASNT GUILTY AND HE LOVED U U WOULD REALLY TRY TO CONVINCE U DATS ITS A LIE AND NOT STAY AWAY FROM U. SO THINK WISELY DIS GUY MAY REALLY BE MARRIED. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 2:58am On Jan 16, 2010 |
Well NL's! It turned out that he is married after all. The friend was telling the truth.  |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Nobody: 5:29am On Jan 16, 2010 |
abasssgirl: well, just slowly get away from him and get him out of your life for good. no point staying in such relationship. suerte!!!!! |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 6:14am On Jan 16, 2010 |
I know Mr. BrownJay, You are right - it is just so hard. When we were together everything was so good and he was good to my kids. We had a really strong connection and he was good and caring to me too. But it is what it is I guess. I cannot lie - I would love to sit here and tell you that I no longer care and big deal. But I miss him so much right now I could scream. In a strange twist of events, his cousin recently "re-surfaced" and reached out to talk to me a few times. I really miss him. This really hurts. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Nobody: 2:43pm On Jan 16, 2010 |
@abasssgirl i can understand completely how you feel and its normal to feel this way. you just have to be strong and put all your mind and energy on other stuff like work/family/friends. its not easy to forget someone we've loved dearly. sometimes we win and sometime we loose but remember that its better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. the sad part in this saga is that this guy came into your children's life as well knowing fully well that he was only going to be here for a short spin. you have to count your blessings that you got to know this now and not a few yrs down the line. dont give up on us, there are some good ones out there. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by abasssgirl(f): 6:38pm On Jan 16, 2010 |
sometime we loose but remember that its better to have loved and lost than never loved at all. @ MrBrownJay - I hate that saying! LOL I have always hated it! lol You would say that one in your attempt to comfort me abi? LOL (just pulling your legs) My children are still attached to him too. My little boy asks after him almost each day as to when he is coming back. My older girl is matured but it hurts her that he is gone. They were bonding very close before things ended. So my children missing him is the pain that stings the most. Are there still any good men out there left - who are full of integrity and have good things going on for them at the same time? I am really starting to wonder at this point. |
| Re: Is My Boyfriend The Liar Or His Best Friend? by Youngpo413: 7:55pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
ruskiee: |
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