The door caved in easily beneath the malice. There was no resistance that would keep the law locked out of that hotel room, on the loneliest street in the city. The two women in the room sat up straight in the queen-sized bed; they were dressed in nothing at all, aside from the looks of confusion which they wore on their faces. Their breasts stood bare to the chill of the air-conditioning, and they pointed accusing nipples towards the rude intrusion.

Three men had invaded the privacy of bedroom activity; one man with a voice, and two men with guns. They were dressed in the colors of night, but they did not hide their faces. There was no need for concealment, when there were crests of approval sewn into their breast pockets. The men with the guns stood by the door with itchy fingers. They barely restrained themselves from pulling the triggers on guns that could have been pointing their menacing barrels at carnage much worse than this. But they were in a bedroom, regulating the positions for acceptable orgasms.

The man with a voice skirted around the bed, dripping a bucket of disdain.

"What is going on here?"

The women exchanged a nervous look, believing that there must be more to this question than the request for an answer that already seemed undeniable. But they dared to state the obvious, risking the irritation of their interviewer. "Officer, we are having sex."

The cold truth made a splash as it hit the face of the man with a voice, where did this boldness come from? "This is a crime under the law. And by your own admission, you are guilty. You are, therefore, both under arrest!"

"Officer, we assure you, we are not prostitutes." The women had assumed that the officer had made assumptions that could safely be assumed to be wrong.

"That may be so, but I haven't accused you of prostitution."

"Then what is our crime?"

"Lesbianism."

The women shared a look of utter disbelief. Lesbianism!

"But we are not lesbians." The protest was made with sound conviction.

"How can you say that you aren't lesbians when the evidence is all in this bed? The heat of your sin hasn’t even diminished yet."

"What evidence are you referring to, officer?"

"You are two women, naked in bed with each other, having sexual relations."

"Yes, we are naked and we are having sexual relations. But we are not lesbians."

"Are you trying to confuse me?"

"No, officer. How can this be confusing? We are not having sexual relations with each other."

"I do not have to be psychic to devise exactly what happened in this room. In spite of the chill, you still wear the glow of sex on your skin. And by your own admission, you were having sex."

"Yes, but we were not having sex with each other. There is more to this than you see."

"What do you mean? Did you lie next to each other masturbating yourselves to a climax?"

"No, that is not what happened. But if it were, would that be considered lesbianism? Seeing as it is a woman's hand - even if it is only my own - that stimulated my private parts?"

"No, it is only lesbianism if another woman stimulates your private parts." The man with a voice determined. "And that, it seems to me, is what happened here. Did you not touch each other?"

"Yes, there was some touching." The admission was measured as they reflected on the activity which had preceded the break-in.

"And the touching involved stimulation of your intimate parts, as well?"

"Yes. But it wasn't for our sexual pleasure. We didn't feel anything for each other because we are not lesbians"

The man with a voice refused to be bamboozled by these women. There was no discussion necessary here; it was clear to see, that they had engaged in activities which were regarded unlawful. "That has nothing to do with it; the crime is in the association. It is a crime for two women to be together in a sexual way. You are, therefore, under arrest!"

The sound of a toilet flushing interrupted the conversation. Momentarily, a man stepped into the room from the bathroom. He was naked too. His excessive belly leaned over his unimpressive genitals, and he had more hair on his back than he had on his head.

"What is going on here?" The man with a voice asked again in confusion.

The women exchanged a confused look, believing that there must be more to this question than the request for an answer that had already been previously clarified. But, again, they dared to state the obvious, risking the wrath of their interviewer. "Officer, we are having sex."

The officer looked from the man to the bed, and, for the first time, realized the gulf of space between the two naked women –a space which would have been perfectly filled out by the man who had emerged from the bathroom. This was not a case of two women in bed with each other, after all. This was a case of two women in bed with a man.

"I see there has been a mistake." The man with a voice admitted. He addressed the man, "Sir, is this your party?"

"Yes, it is." The man replied smugly. It was an impressive feat for a man with his aesthetic disabilities to get not one, but two beautiful women into his bed. And he saw that the man with a voice appreciated that fact, because he regarded him with a subdued look of veneration. This was not merely a case of two women in bed with a man; this was a case of two women in bed with a man and his money.

"I apologize for the intrusion," the man with a voice stated, "We received an anonymous tip that there was lesbian activity going on in this room. But I do realize now that there has been a serious mistake. This is merely a regular party."

"Yes, it is only a party." The man confirmed, "These women are not lesbians. They only kissed and touched each other at my persuasion. It excites me to see two women together. And it excites me to have four breasts in my bed."

"An honest misunderstanding!" The man with a voice said, "You are, obviously, a man who likes to have a good time. Please do carry on."

The man worried that the man with a voice, considered him an irresponsible cad who, in his advancing years, was still indulging in the juvenile pleasures of excessiveness.

“This has every bit as much to do with duty as with pleasure.”

“Duty you say?”

“Yes. I should be able to have them both in my bed. They are both my wives, after all, and I should be fair enough to give them even parts of me.”

“That is benevolently thought out, Sir. And we hope to bother you no further.”

Me Likey

You were born to write.