I AM A MAN.
so what?

I shouldn't even be writing this.
I am a man and men are not supposed to  complain.
Men are not supposed to whine and cry,  it is not manlike,  I am taught.
And yet I get hurt like everyone does. But because I am a man I cannot show it.

Society demands that I be tough,  rugged,  take the lead even though I have never been shown how to do so.

I am pushed to succeed at a very early age,  I am forced to pick careers that were never my choice.

As a child I lost my virginity to my auntie, my nanny,  the lonely woman next door,  but I dare not say it.  People will laugh and smirk that I enjoyed it. Some don't even believe a man can be raped.

I give up my dreams to get married and use my energy to raise a family. Its called being responsible,  to sacrifice yourself for them daily.

I lose my job and society sees me as worthless.  I succeed in my career and my kids label me absent. 

All the money I earn is not my own.  As soon as I get home my wife and children drop their list. 

I worry and fret and spend sleepless nights thinking of how to secure their future.  I try to prepare them for the hardships of life and they call me a tyrant.

I cannot retaliate to a woman's aggression,  if I do that I am a beast.  I cannot report her either,  if i do that  I am a weakling. And so I suffer in silence, for that is what is acceptable to society.

I marry a woman and pay her bride-price,  I I give her shelter, security and food. But as soon as i come knocking in her garden I am rejected like a piece of rag.  Again and again rejection repeats and I am told 'sex is not food'. I dare not complain because as a man I should have self control. And if I go outside,  I am considered the lowest of the low.

As a man I take risks for the family,  as a man i do the most dangerous jobs,  as a man I am more likely to die before my spouse,  but no one talks about this because we are men,  we shouldn't  complain.

Even in times of serious danger men are seen as expendable, it is women and children first.

And yet when I ask for a little respect I am told 'respect is earned'.

Most men won't pass this message round because they will see it as not manly enough.  As a man, I will be attacked for this, because men shouldn't show their feelings.
You don't need to pass the message around but if you have a man sitting silently and stoically beside you,  give him a hug to encourage him. He needs it badly but he will never ask for it because he is a man.  And men as we know do not complain.
R.

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