Let me share a story:

I’ve always wanted to be married by the age of 28. I had a great career, was working towards building my first home, basically I was living the American Dream. One day, a close family friend gave me a call. She was singing sweet nothings in my ear about a Lady who just landed in NY from Lagos. She swore the Lady was an angel and as far as she is concerned I would be silly if I did not give her a call. I wasn’t buying what she was selling but I took the number and said I will give her a call the next day.

That didn’t happen.

I don’t recall the exact length of time, but it probably took me a month or so to eventually call the Lady. Conversation went well, I can tell she was holding back as she was a bit shy. In the end she agreed to have dinner and drinks with me in the City. I looked forward to the day and when it finally arrived, I drove to the apartment complex where she stayed with her Aunt. I arrived early so I sat in my car, listening to music and fiddling with my phone. I’m not sure what prompted me but I decided to look up, and there she was, exiting the complex. The Lady was gorgeous, but there is a BUT. She wasn’t my type or should I say she wasn’t my spec in physical appearance. So as she walked over to me and I got out of the car to greet her I already told myself I’ll show her a good time and we will just remain friends. After all I was known as “Mr. Friendzone”, so I might as well live up to the name.

That didn’t happen.

Our first date was H A M A Z I N G! That is how we went on date after date after date. My plans of just being friends failed. Before I knew what was happening we were an item! We were both head over heals. As in we were inseparable. She knew what I was going to say before I even uttered a word. She was intelligent, quick witted, and her clap backs were legendary. In short she knew how to tame the beast. I was done, she had my heart. It was only a matter of time, it was inevitable. This was the woman I was going to marry.

That didn’t happen.

One day we were Roku and Chilling. Not as popular as Netflix and Chill of today, but it was a thing back then. Anyway I digress. We were basking in each others presence and she said she wanted to tell me something. With tears in her eyes, she told me of something that could potentially kill our chances of getting married. I knew it then, but I didn’t care. Really I didn’t. And I told her so.

“All that matters is that I love you, everything else is just noise.”

One day I went to visit my parents at their home and my late Dad started asking me questions about her. This was awkward as we never ever talked about the women in my life. Heck, we never had the birds and the bees conversation. Apparently, someone called him and told him EVERYTHING. Family meeting after family meeting. Conversation after conversation. I was told that no blessing will be given. For about two years, maybe even longer I tried to get my family on board as it was very important to me.

That didn’t happen.

With all that was going on, our bond only grew stronger. She felt my pain and I felt hers. That is how I became a diplomat and started calling Aunts, Uncles, anyone who would care to listen to see if they can put in a word or two to our benefit. It is during one of these conversations that I was told that if I wanted to proceed, that I should be ready to go at it alone.

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