Well since I got in trouble for this https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-373378.0.html  I've decided to do this.  Oh yea, I am not here for wahala.  And if the joke ain't sweet, I sure know how to tickle myself.  After all, Elmo did it so why can't I

MAKING SURE

Two men were stoning a mango tree, trying to hit down a large mango at the very top. One of them stopped to say to the other: "All the stone we ah stone, suppose de mango no ripe?"
"True," replied his friend, "Check it out nuh."
The first man then climbed the tree all the way to the top where the branches were dangerously slender, reached out and carefully felt the mango, then came back down.
"It ripe," he announced to his buddy. "We nah fling fi nutten."
Then they began to stone the mango tree again.

So

tanimz:

So

a needle pulling thread
To paraphrase what a supermod just say ( I couldn't say it any better) "I created this thread for a purpose, if you have nothing to contribute please move on"

@ post: nice 1

DUMB BROTHER

Tessa was injured in a car accident and fell into a deep coma. After six months she woke up and found that she was no longer pregnant. Naturally, she asked the doctor to tell her what happened to her baby.
The doctor replied, "Well, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
Tessa became anxious as she didn’t think her brother was very smart.
Expecting the worst, she asked the doctor, "So what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," said the doctor. Tessa began to feel a little guilty about how she thought about her brother.
"Not bad,” she said. “I like the name Denise.”
She then asked the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replied, "Denephew."

^^rotflmao

Nice Joke

Epi:

Well since I got in trouble for typing gabby https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-373378.0.html instead of Gabry, I've decided to do this. Still don't understand why he lock the thre[/b]ad. Anyway, wetin concern agbero with over load. Oh yea, I am not here for wahala. And if the joke ain't sweet, I sure know how to tickle myself. After all, Elmo did it so why can't I

Please Dont confuse you'rself. .
[b]PM Sent.

Billy was a Ghanian with a serious problem. So he called his family together
and asked them what they thought of it. He explained, "When ah press mi stomach
with mi finger, it hurt mi. When ah press mi face, the pain real bad. When ah
press mi forehead I see stars. This problem like is all over my body." The family tried
to help, but gave up and said he should see a doctor. At the Nigerian
Hospital the doctor said, "We'll get that fixed right away. You have a broken
finger."

PRAYER FOR HEARING

Mac went to revival meeting and listened attentively to the preacher. Towards the end of the meeting, the preacher invited anyone who needed prayer to come to  the altar.

When Mac went up, the preacher wanted to know what concern he wanted lifted up in prayer. Mac said: "Please pray for my hearing."

The preacher moved closer to Mac, put a finger in Mac's ear and the free hand on Mac's head." The preacher prayed and prayed and prayed.

When he was done, he took up his towel, wiped his brow, sipped some water and approached Mac. "How is your hearing now?" he asked.

"I don't know, Reverend," he replied. "It starts on Wednesday!"

A lawyer is hunting and shoots a turkey which lands in a farmer's field. As the lawyer tries to get the turkey, the old farmer stops him. The lawyer threatens to sue the farmer but the farmer says, "We don't sue people around here. Instead, we each take a good kick at each other and the winner takes the bird." The lawyer sees that the farmer is old and won't kick that hard and agrees to method. He lets the farmer go first. Well, that farmer lets him have a kick that sends the lawyer to his knees but he still gets back up. The lawyer says, "now it's my turn." But the farmer says, "Nah, you can have the bird."

Nice Joke. . lol

Nor make me laugh abeg

Teacher: Joe, I want you to make one sentence with the words "defense", "defeat", and "detail."
Joe: The cow jumped over de fence, de feet first, and de tail last.

A husband came home from church, greets his wife and lifts her up. He then carries her around the house.
The wife surprised of her husband’s actions looked at him and said, “did the Reverend preach about being romantic?”
The husband looked at her and said, “No; he said we must carry our burdens and sorrows

Is that it?

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.
After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look
towards sky, what you see? "
"The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are
millions of galaxies and potentially billions of
planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in
Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a
quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the
Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful
day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

"You dumber than buffalo S.hit. It means someone stole the tent. "

i forced myself to laugh i couldn't, i even tried the tickle thing, u prescribed, it didn't work, pls can someone
borrow me his or her laugh, i want to laugh here

Unprecedented Court Decision in South Africa

A seven year old boy was at the center of a South African Courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over whom should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that the family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that, while visiting his aunt during the summer holidays, his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Super Eagles Team, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

your jokes be like news , u dey give us updates

Post your own make me see

i smile sha.

Boy, i laffed my fill . . . . especially wiv that one about Tonto.

studio43:

Post your own make me see

maybe i no sabe post, na reply wey i sabe pass , if i post one joke now, na u go be the first critic on the list to fuk am up

One night a man was was relaxing watching TV when out of the kitchen
comes his wife with a frying pan --BOOF!-- "a who name Shiela?" asked the wife,
"me find a paper inna you pocket wid di name Shiela on it, who is she?".
The man rubbing his headback said "me and Richie were down at the racetrack, that's the name of the horse we bet on, a wha wrong with you?!!". So the wife apologized, kissed his
headback, and went back to her chores. 15 minutes later the wife storms out of the kitchen
again --BOOF!! BAM!!-- "A WHA DO YOU?!!" shouted the husband, and the wife shouts
back "YOU HORSE DEH PON DI PHONE!!".

Gibson na kunbee my Ex handwork be that na habba

cool jokes

hmmmm nice jokes

"de fence, de tail, de feat"

lol

@ kay, yahoo, pharoh, jumain, tayo

@topic

Tatooed Peenis

This fellow was so deeply in love that just before he was married, he had his bride's name tattooed on his love muscle. Normally, only the first and last letters were visible, although when he was aroused, the tattoo spelled out W-E-N-D-Y. Now they're on their honeymoon at a resort in Nigeria. One night, in the men's room, this fellow finds himself standing next to a tall Nigerian at the urinal. To his amazement, he notices that this man, too, has the letters W-Y tattooed on his peenis. "Excuse me," he says, "but I couldn't help noticing your tattoo. Do you have a girlfriend named Wendy?" "No way, man, I work for the Tourist board. Mine reads, "W[/b]elcome to Nigeria, have a nice da[b]y.'"

Nansense!