Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage - Romance - Nairaland
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| Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Kayleb26(m): 7:01am On Apr 13, 2017 |
The time is 20:40pm. A young woman has been thrown out of her matrimonial home by her husband after he’d used his fists and then his belt on her… Don’t be too quick to reason domestic violence. From the husband’s reply to neighbors who cared enough to ask the “usual wetin happen, kilo șelę”; this woman doesn’t know where to draw the line between her husband and her male friends. When the moral wall of the society was still very strong, it wouldn’t be heard (not to talk of seen) that a woman/man have thisclose male/female friends unknown to their spouses; it was an outright tufiakwa matter, even colleagues at work were known to spouses. These days that public display of affection (PDA), passed down to us by the western world is the order of the day, it is common (especially among young people) to call any random person honey, sweetheart, boo, my love and pet names like these and act same way even when you’re very much “taken”. As endearing as the practice is, it must be mentioned that not every guy/girl has grown enough emotionally to bear the feeling of fondness that comes with being called pet names without cooking up romantic emotions (even in places they don’t exist). On this fateful day, this woman was escorted to her bus stop by a male colleague (a crush more aptly; the husband has severally seen them both in places and proximity too close for comfort) in her workplace. Coincidentally, the husband just alighted from a Keke, he was going home too. He could see his beloved playing Juliet to another Romeo from where he stood at the other side of the road. They were going back and forth and touching each other in a way unbecoming for a married woman. He decided to do a nollywood on them and watched this movie to the end so that no action would be left out incase someone else was to narrate the story to him.When “to be continued” appeared on the screen. He gave his wife few minutes to get home. He immediately followed her. On getting home he didn’t exchange pleasantries with neighbors like he usually does. He went straight to the wife and without any question began to pounce on the woman with punches and later his belt until neighbors came to her rescue. According to the husband, the woman has had this challenge since when they were dating. He’d report her to the dad but baba was positive marriage would change her. Well, somebody should tell the old man that marriage didn’t or hasn’t change her. Perhaps a better upbringing would have done what he expects marriage to fix. Marriage has only magnified a weakness that could have been corrected long time ago. There is a lesson here; young people have so many baggage of relationship issues before and during marriage, personal and social. They tell themselves marriage will change it. Marriage won’t my dear. It’ll only magnify your strength or your weakness, depending on which is dominant. Up until now, I still wonder why and how my #first love could forget about me patapata in spite of howclosewewere. Now, I’m learning that some experiences are better when prevented rather than leaving them till they are full blown and then looking for a one-cure-heal-all-solution. https://theexcellentway./2017/04/10/singles-work-on-your-personal-weaknesses-marriage-wont-fix-them 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by marstreetspy(m): 7:12am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Hummmm....OK... Another FTC for me...  |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by LordIsaac(m): 7:29am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Hmmmm....indiscipline is central to many marital challenges! |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Idydarling(f): 8:06am On Apr 13, 2017 |
this happens when a lady is not emotionally mature for marriage and has not learnt how to say no to every Paul, Peter and Segun. |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Li2Finger: 8:06am On Apr 13, 2017 |
I must confess, this is a very interesting topic but at the same debatable... Why make it mandatory for him/her to work on her weaknesses when he can always get a complimentary halve of him/her. From ground up perspective, marriage in the real sense is all about complimentary. It all about feeling in when your partner is wanting. It all about completing his/her page. It more like breaking your strengths and weaknesses together to form a formidable whole... So, why work on yourself when you can channel that useful energy into finding that person that can complete you? |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Alphamale2017(m): 8:22am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Li2Finger:some will betray you after some years, some will die like 10-20 years before u. that's why u still need to complete urself because you are the only one you will have with you for the rest if your life. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Alphamale2017(m): 8:24am On Apr 13, 2017 |
I bet my charger that story was completely made up to buttress your point . nice write up though . |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Li2Finger: 8:35am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Alphamale2017:In an event where you spend all years working on yourself, what then happens if you end up marrying someone with so much weaknesses but pretentiously cozy upto you? Or maybe, your accesment of her was flawed due to your misjudgement of her? You can only only do your best to make yourself perfect. It hard to change someone.. From my own point of view, the best way to change someone is by being a complementary figure of them. That wont happen if you are too quick to point out their faults |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Alphamale2017(m): 9:00am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Li2Finger:of course every man and his dog knows its hard to change someone but get my point. the reason I quoted you was because you said there is no need to work on yourself that its better to look for someone who complements you . that's the point I don't concur with . look for someone who complements you but don't rule out improving or completing yourself like u insinuated in ur first comment. for example a guy who was treated with kid gloves while growing up. he doesn't know how to do any house chore , let alone to cook. and probably he sometimes talks in a rude manner . now he goes for someone who complements him, a wife material , beautiful, good cook , maintains the house and make sure everywhere is very neat. also she hardly ever talk back at you when you scold her ( I had a gf who was like that , she will only draw ur attention to it later ) probably she didn't grow up that way and was well trained . now this over pampered guy has finally found someone who complements most of his weakness. does that therefore mean he shouldn't. learn a thing or two in the kitchen ? or learn how to sometimes talk politely without shouting . ?? now u get my point Abi ? finding someone who complements you doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to become a better / upgraded version of yourself. even if he can not completely eliminate his weaknesses but at least to curtail it . its just one life oh. you only live once #YOLO 1 Like |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Li2Finger: 9:15am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Alphamale2017:Sorry, you misunderstood my initial stances... "Why so much ado on improving yourself when you can always get a match " doesn’t rule out the fact that you mustn't work on yourself... |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Alphamale2017(m): 9:25am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Li2Finger:okay then . we probably are on the same boat . one love |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by FavoredGuy: 9:27am On Apr 13, 2017 |
No comment for now |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Safiaa(f): 9:49am On Apr 13, 2017 |
My problem with this is the issue where the guy decided to beat her as a result of his anger. I dont understand. Theres no justification for him to beat his wife, even through her flaws. I do agree that we should work on becoming the best version of ourselves prior to marriage though. He should've handled the situation better. 1 Like |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Nobody: 10:06am On Apr 13, 2017 |
Story for another day. |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Kayleb26(m): 1:55pm On Apr 13, 2017 |
So, you'll rather ignore a known weakness in you just so you can channel your energy on getting a complimentary partner? Isn't that something like a soldier failing to learn how to fight just because his colleagues would defend him? Well, good luck with your search! Li2Finger: |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Li2Finger: 2:07pm On Apr 13, 2017 |
Kayleb26:It not about Goodluck with anything, it the reality... In as much as you would want to make yourself perfect, I want you to have it at the back of your mind that you can't change people. And in fact, perfect people or people with self acclaimed perfection often stumble in getting their right. That's because when others are choosing based on love, they will be busy looking around for perfect someone like them... The truth is, no matter how you try, there will always be weaknesses and in fact, there are some weaknesses can't just deal with except with the help of others and that's where the complimentary halve is important... Now, if you are able to find your better halve, together through acceptance and admittance of weaknesses, you can build a formidable force that no one can infiltrate... Am even surprise, why so much talks on working on your weaknesses when in fact you can leverage on your strength? Since you are so hell bent on building yourself to that infallible figure, let me at this juncture ask you this: in an event where you finish building yourself and your ended up misjudging the qualities of spouse due to the fact that he/her was able to hide the obvious, what would you do? 1 Like |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Kayleb26(m): 2:14pm On Apr 13, 2017 |
Your point is noted. We're on same page just like you and the other guy. Thanks for your comments Li2Finger: |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Kayleb26(m): 2:16pm On Apr 13, 2017 |
You can as well bet your phone, it's a true life story 100%  quote author=Alphamale2017 post=55525408] I bet my charger that story was completely made up to buttress your point . nice write up though .[/quote] |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Kayleb26(m): 2:27pm On Apr 13, 2017 |
This guy got the message 100% quote author=Alphamale2017 post=55526322] of course every man and his dog knows its hard to change someone but get my point. the reason I quoted you was because you said there is no need to work on yourself that its better to look for someone who complements you . that's the point I don't concur with . look for someone who complements you but don't rule out improving or completing yourself like u insinuated in ur first comment. for example a guy who was treated with kid gloves while growing up. he doesn't know how to do any house chore , let alone to cook. and probably he sometimes talks in a rude manner . now he goes for someone who complements him, a wife material , beautiful, good cook , maintains the house and make sure everywhere is very neat. also she hardly ever talk back at you when you scold her ( I had a gf who was like that , she will only draw ur attention to it later ) probably she didn't grow up that way and was well trained . now this over pampered guy has finally found someone who complements most of his weakness. does that therefore mean he shouldn't. learn a thing or two in the kitchen ? or learn how to sometimes talk politely without shouting . ?? now u get my point Abi ? finding someone who complements you doesn't mean you shouldn't strive to become a better / upgraded version of yourself. even if he can not completely eliminate his weaknesses but at least to curtail it . its just one life oh. you only live once #YOLO [/quote] |
| Re: Why Singles Must Work On Their Weakness Before Marriage by Alphamale2017(m): 2:39pm On Apr 13, 2017 |
Kayleb26: 1 Like |
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