In Nigeria, the relationship between poverty and a perpetually erect penis is always on the positive side of the curve. Poor people can Bleep for Africa!

If you say these things, they call you arrogant or privileged. But no better evidence of this than the short story I and a friend were treated to at a Car Stand in Abuja here this afternoon.

As we sat in the office of this friend, he began to regale us of how nervous he’s already feeling about paying for the impending school fees for his two kids following the Easter break. And here was a car dealer. Wealth wise, here was a very comfortable businessman, even by Abuja’s lofty standards.

And then his security man waves at us as he passes by. And then our friend chuckles. And almost instantly, he soberly shakes his head.

That is my security man, Nuhu, he starts. I’ll tell you guys a story about Nuhu.
You know, I have two of them working with me. Him and his colleague, Ali.

Ali is the one that washes the cars every morning. I pay him 30,000 a month. Honestly, I tend to feel a bit guilty paying him that at the end of every month, because he has 10 children. But that’s the much I can do. You know how things are.

At some point, I was contemplating whether to send him away or to marginally increase his salary. In the end, I decided maybe I should add something on top. But I told him it should be on the condition that he stops having children. But you know, sometimes it’s as though you’re talking down on them.
So I called Nuhu to my office, and asked him to please talk to his colleague about what I said. But before he leaves the office I ask him: “You, how many children do you have?”
Behold, I swear to God, Nuhu said 23! I told him, no need. You’re not in a position to advice Ali.

At this point, none of us could hold back the laughter.

By Mitterand okorie

Toh!

Sex is the only compensation for being in poverty.

Ichoro ka ha buru Ogbenye burukwa amosu?