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I stood at the scene, not knowing if I should walk away, cry because nothing could help her at that moment, i wanted to scream at the top of my lungs or take the gun and shoot myself too.

I decided that was the best option, I'd kill myself and meet her wherever she went to, Heaven, Forever land, Hell. Yeah, I would follow her to hell if needs be. I picked up the gun, placed it on my head and tried to shoot.

Gbam! I opened my eyes waiting to see where I'd be, I had always wondered where we "humans" go when we die, I was disappointed by what I saw, I was still alive, the noise came from the policeman, they just forced the door open.

"Drop the gun on the floor, Right now" One of them yelled, I just laughed, I laughed because I know they wouldn't shoot me if I didn't shoot them, I laughed because I know I'd still die at the end if this goes to court, I won't be able to prove I am not guilty, I laughed because all I wanted was to hold that woman, feel her skin, lay in her pool of blood.

"Or what?", I asked the policeman, " Will you shoot me again, if I decide to end my life or arrest my dead body?. I smiled, took the gun to my forehead and this time, I pulled the trigger, but again nothing came out, the policemen immediately disarmed me.

"Na him go kill the woman, na why he wan kill himself, see dem na here una dey come do una parole", Another policeman mocked, I didn't know what to do.

You know that feeling when your mind tells you to do something, to do everything but your body does nothing, I had that feeling all over. They took me to station, stripped me, cleaned me up, gave me the prisoner uniform to wear, and placed me in an empty cell.

I didn't sleep that night, I couldn't sleep. My mind kept replaying the scene where the woman I loved with all of my life killed herself because I made the biggest mistake of my life. A mistake that change our world, it seemed so small a mistake, so small a mistake.

The next morning, I was passed something that looked like Eba ( Garri) and beans, I just rolled my eyes and continued to think. I had concluded that everybody who played a part in her death will join me here. Every single one of them.

Chapter One: Amaka, Hot Akara



Do you often hear the word " Gigolo"?, Anybody? Oh Nobody, Well, that's what I am or I was, The name's Timilehin, Just Timilehin forget my last name.

Why will I say that?, I didn't get to know my parents, I grew up in an orphanage, from what I gathered I was left under a bridge just two miles away from the orphanage, the bridge was a very popular one in Aba where I grew up and learnt everything I know today.

People will say "If you no mumu for Aba, You go wise for any other part of the world", I am not a sucker for proverbs but this one is very true. Even right in St. James Orphanage where I grew up, Everybody tried to show how smart they were, it was like game of thrones in there but just that everybody was tyrion lannister.

Amaka, the name that will never be out of any story I will tell, because we grew up together in that orphanage, learned together, fell in love with each other. You won't hear a man say this anytime, but Amaka made me the man I am or thought I was, an alpha female who carefully maps out strategies and can think so far ahead, I was so glad to have her with me as I grew up.

It was a hot Thursday afternoon, the day I met Amaka, I and some other guys that made up my cliche were caught playing games during our siesta. Our caretaker, a very strict and fat woman called Aunty Nkiru came over and saw us, we knew what we were supposed to do next so she just rolled her eyes as the lot of us moved over to the backyard picked up a cutlass and went to the field to trim the grasses.

We had started to clear the grasses, when Aunty Nkiru came again with a girl, she was drawing her ear but the girl was struggling to let go, something none of us ever dared to do.

"Ogbanje, You won't sleep, Useless girl, that's why you are here, I am sure you killed your mother at Birth" Aunty Nkiru said to the girl, and started to walk away.

"Bag Of Rice" The girl muttered. I shivered, I wasn't guilty but I was scared, I wanted to figure out why I was scared or what I was scared of, so when I raised my head to see Aunty Nkiru about to turn around, and my eyes met the girl's own, I knew I was scared of the girl, not Aunty Nkiru.

"What did you say, Ogbanje, What did you say?", Aunty Nkiru asked, the girl moved over, picked up her cutlass, pointed it at Aunty Nkiru's face and moved over to her portion and started to clear the grasses. I could have sworn that Aunty Nkiru would give her the beating of her life, but then she started to cry. She moved to report to the head of the orphanage, crying like they were about to bury her father or mother.

The boys started to laugh, trying to imitate Aunty Nkiru and showing gestures indicate how robust she was, I was more interested in getting to know the girl, I wanted to know who she was and why I hadn't met her all the while, I was in the house.

I moved closer to her, and pretended like I was looking for my slippers and just when I decided to gather the courage to say, " What's your name"

I heard someone shout, "All of you come here, Sister Philomena is calling you". It was Aunty Nkiru.

We were told to first kneel down, we didn't even need that information, it was the tradition here, before Sister Philomena came out to address your offence, you have to be on your knees to show you regretted what you did.

Aunty Nkiru came over, and whispered; " If any of you tries to support her, you will see what I will do to you in this place, and you (She was now pointing at Amaka), you think I am your mate, you will see what I will do to you in this place". The sound of the door opening brought her to order, and Sister Philomena walked in.

"Nkiru, O gi ni?", Aunty Nkiru narrated what happened to her, but as usual as a woman, she excluded all the part where she called her an Ogbanje, and that her mother died when she gave birth to her.

" Amaka, You again, you again?", Sister Philomena said, you could sense the anger in her voice. She moved over to take her cane which we nicknamed "Oga Titus", but Sister Philomena usually listen to both parties before meting out her punishment.

" OK Amaka, Tell me what happened", so Amaka (Now that I know her name) narrated her part of story, and as a fearless girl she was, she didn't leave any part of the story. Sister Philomena looked at her and then to Aunty Nkiru, who had started crying and swearing that Amaka was lying. She decided to use her usual joker, the blackmail game. She asked the boys if she ever said what Amaka had said, and they all agreed that Amaka was lying, that Aunty Nkiru was telling the truth.


I looked at all of them ashamed, I looked at Aunty Nkiru with her eyes begging that I joined them to condemn Amaka, I looked at Sister Philomena who just wanted to know the truth, and then finally, I looked at Amaka wanting to see her reaction to all the lies, but she still had that anger in her face, fearless as before.

"They are lying, Aunty Nkiru called her an Ogbanje and also said her mom died when she gave birth to her", I said.

Sister Philomena stood up, told us to go and then had Aunty Nkiru stay back in the office, as we were leaving we could hear her scolding Aunty Nkiru.

The boys all look ashamed and betrayed, and they moved swiftly to our room. I knew I would be taunted when I got back there, but I didn't really care.

I turned to at least speak to Amaka, try to be friends with her. " Sorry about what happened in there, my name is Timilehin", I said as I offered my hands for her to shake.

She giggled and said; "Yoruba boy, no wonder, Next time you will have sense to not betray your guys because of someone you don't know", She giggled again and walked away.

That was my thanks.

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