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Woman Accuses Her Pastor Husband Of Domestic Violence / Pastor Michale Matthew: "I Dumped My Marriage Over Domestic Violence" / Broken Eye Socket And Knocked Teeth – Lady Shares Her Story Of Domestic Violence (2) (3) (4)
|Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 9:35pm On May 11, 2017|
Lately, several topics about domestic violence have graced the front page of this forum, and there seems to be a shocking trend; "the fact that the female is always the victim, and the male the beast".
Before you start passing judgements, i would like to state clearly that I'm not here to hold brief for the "shameful" actions of some men, but to point out the often ignored hypocrisy that usually accompanies society's views and analysis of this despicable act.
Most men are inbred introverts, as opposed to their extroverted female counterparts, and its not too uncommon to see men reacting physically when under pressure or when they get to what I'll like to term their "elastic limit".Most women have noticed this weakness in men, and never fail to use it to their advantage. Women thus have mastered the act of playing the victim card.
The average man seeks to be respected by his wife or girlfriend, while the woman seeks to be loved and showered with affection. Women don't understand that more than anything else, the man places an inestimable value on respect from his spouse, as no man ever wants to have his ego dragged in the mud - its no fault of ours, thats just how we're wired.
I watched a clip on Facebook where a girl was literally harassing a guy in a high school classroom, calling him a bïtch and all forms of demeaning names as she pulled his shirt and continously tossed him around to the consternation of his friends and everyone around, even the high school teacher. This continued for a while as the dude kept his cool, expecting her to retreat, but she only increased the tempo. Dude lost his cool and slammed the the girl to the floor. That was the moment the high school teacher and everyone else stepped in to stop him and take him out of the class. Many comments from men and women alike condemned the girls actions while excusing that of the guy, as they claimed she got what she deserved. But my question was what if there was no video recording of how everything played out and the girl just steps out with a swollen face accusing the guy of brutality?? Your guess is as good as mine - the dude will be cooling off in jail and not even his own parents will believe his side of the story!!!!
There's another instance of a lady, who on instagram cried for help as she was thrown out by her fiance after an altercation with him. He was angry and called her names after she consumed his breakfast, and instead of attempting to mollify his anger by sweet words or just walking away, she claim to have given him"back to back" and when the dude couldn't handle any more of her venomous words, he requested that she be thrown out! asserting that he had no respect for her, ladies on instagram were busy screaming for her to "pull out, pull out", like davido was about to cum in his third side chick, but she insisted she wants to have words with him, which shows she takes a large portion of the blame for what really played out.
No man in his sane mind who proposed to a woman or marries her would want to hit her for any reason, but the venomous and disparaging vituperations from some angry women could make even angel Gabriel's heart boil. Some women have mastered the art of so pushing men to the wall and expecting them to remain docile because he's the man, and any attempt to touch her would constitute domestic violence. I'm strongly of the opinion that if ladies will learn to bridle their mouths and respect their better halves, cases of domestic violence will trickle down to almost none. I make bold to state that no sane man would dare touch a respectful woman, except under the influence of some substance. Even the holy books command the woman to be respectful and submissive to the husband while he in turn loves her and cherishes her as his own self.
The popular slogan "real men don't touch women" should be amended to "real men dont touch respectful women". Don't disrespect every man that comes your way, and expect to be respected in return. Life is all give and take!!!
The feminists as usual would run to counter this often ignored truth, but any rational mind would see this as the truth laid bare.
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by KhalDroggo: 9:43pm On May 11, 2017|
Unfortunately, people like you only learn from experience. So my wish for you is that your mother, daughter, sister, aunt, in short all the females in your life, experience the kind of violence you are condoning. Let's see how "understanding" you would be under those circumstances
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by eyinjuege: 9:46pm On May 11, 2017|
How many men and women that are strangers to you who have disrespected you have you slapped? Talk more of giving blows to?
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 9:49pm On May 11, 2017|
eyinjuege:Everyone has a limit!!! Those who did were pushed beyond theirs, and like i said i don't support hitting women, but i hate the hypocrisy that comes with the way men are being condemned and the women always excused
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 9:53pm On May 11, 2017|
KhalDroggo:Was expecting shallow minds like you to quote me. This is a dispassionate analysis of the truth. Hate it or like it
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by eyinjuege: 9:54pm On May 11, 2017|
You still didn't answer the question I asked.
I know for sure in Nigeria, as a Nigerian we have very rude, annoying people on the roads. If you drive, you can be sure to get into road rage on the roads. If you also take public transport, its a no brainer that your ox will definitely be gored. Its unavoidable.
By both men, and women.
My question again- how many of these annoying, rude, crazy people on the roads have you slapped?
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by KhalDroggo: 9:56pm On May 11, 2017|
Why am I shallow for wanting you to enjoy a taste of your own medicine?
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:00pm On May 11, 2017|
eyinjuege:Don't be too quick to quote if you don't have a valid point to pass across. Note my usage of the word "limit". Getting pissed by a reckless driver on the road or some angry woman at the store, does not compare to being psychologically traumatized by the actions of a spouse you meet and live with everyday!
You can put up with it for years but someday you might just lose your cool.
I do not advocate domestic violence as clearly outlined in my post, i just hate "the hypocrisy, and double standards" that come with it.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:02pm On May 11, 2017|
KhalDroggo:A taste of my own medicine Wasn't wrong after all to conclude you have a shallow mind. Go through the post one more time, this time read slowly and with your senses on
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by optional1(f): 10:13pm On May 11, 2017|
op wait till one beast punch ur sister in the face..
Lets see if you will blame her or the man....
No matter what a lady do to piss you off never rise your hands on her.. There are one million and one ways to punish her order than punching her...
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by KhalDroggo: 10:13pm On May 11, 2017|
Don't need to go through your post again. Just going through your vomit once was bad enough, but I'll summarise your main point so you'll understand how mindless it is: Your position is that a man is typically level-headed but society should not judge him harshly if he loses his calm and beats a woman to stupor for merely saying something that he doesn't like. And for you, there is nothing wrong with this. The question is, would a man be that bold if it were another man who used abusive language towards him? Especially if that other man is bigger and stronger than him? So why would he be justified for using the same methods against a woman? Try your argument out in the civilised world and you'll be amazed at how ridiculous it sounds because such ideas have no place in any civilised community.
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by eyinjuege: 10:15pm On May 11, 2017|
There is no hypocrisy anywhere. Its just common sense. A woman close to you keeps putting you down. Its only logical to leave such a toxic relationship. Same as its advocated for victims of domestic violence.
Now, when we talk of the law, it never equates physical assault to verbal/emotional assault. Once you touch a person, it becomes a different ball game entirely.
Your wife cheats on you? Then divorce her. Don't go beating her. Does it mean if a man cheats on his wife, she's allowed to pour hot water on him? Or use a pestle to break his head while he's asleep?
Your wife always insults you and disrespects you? Then divorce her. Its not by force to stay married to a nag. Why break her skull? Men also nag, and are emotionally abusive. Do we still advocate violence on such men? You'd be surprised that a lot of men are masters of emotional abuse.
If we all don't stand against violence now, do not be surprised when the women who are pushed to the wall begin their own retaliations.
No sex has a monopoly on violence, and its just a matter of time if its not curbed.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:25pm On May 11, 2017|
KhalDroggo:Your use of sensless gifs and obtrusive fonts says it all.
And @the bolded, ill suggest you go through the post again, but you wouldn't because you've chosen to wallow in your self delusion of making a valid point. You should fix your comprehension problems though
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by emmyN(m): 10:27pm On May 11, 2017|
OP has a point, like it or not
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:32pm On May 11, 2017|
eyinjuege:I presume you to be a matured adult. I cant help you think with your rational mind!!
How many times have instances of domestic violence against men popped up on the news??
For ages the women have been known to play the victim card. Do you know how many men go through domestic violence of some sort and are asked to suck it up cos they men?
You scream divorce like its ewa agoyin and bread. How many men can risk parting with half of what they labored for all their lives?? How many can risk parting with their biological kids
So you get married to a woman, she insults you on your wedding night, and you.file for divorce the next morning
God how do nigerians reason
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:34pm On May 11, 2017|
emmyN:I always knew rational beings like you exist, who can think outside the the usual way of slaving for a woman. Thanks
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:41pm On May 11, 2017|
optional1:The feminist are here!!!
"NO MATTER" what a woman does", DO NOT punch her!!
Honey I'm no proponent of domestic violence or beating women, my point is the belief that a man should hold himself even after he's been put through the greatest ordeal by his wife, and he be regarded as a beast for taking a "reflex action" based on how bad he's been treated at that time is hypocritical, especially when you consider the way the women are being excused.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by Viking007(m): 10:46pm On May 11, 2017|
hobermener:I edited @bolded. I'm not a fan of violence regardless of the gender involved. Except ofcourse its for self defense.
Brilliant piece You've got.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 10:49pm On May 11, 2017|
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by ScarletOverkill(f): 11:01pm On May 11, 2017|
Lol. Victim card, huh?
Speaking out about domestic abuse = playing the victim card? When you use that sentence, "playing the victim card', you imply that these women aren't even victims. That perhaps they just love being pitied or that they somehow want to make men look bad or that they just like making noise. Check the frontpage- a girl in South Africa was burnt to death by her boyfriend after suffering routine beatings throughout the duration of their relationship. Had she gathered the guts to speak out, would that be your conclusion? That she just wanted to, you know, play the victim?
And who asked men not to speak up? Anybody hold una mouth? Who created a system of hyper masculinity where men feel obliged to protect their ever-fragile manhood's by suffering in silence?
When Daddy Freeze spoke up about the constant physical and emotional abuse he sufferred in the hands of his ex wife, was it not men who mocked him? I have a friend who still sees Freeze as a weakling because his wife used to hit him. If that boy gets married tomorrow and his wife starts abusing him, he'll also feel obliged to suck it up and protect his nonexistent masculinity.
When men are ready to get over their hang-ups, they can finally muster up enough courage to speak up. Until then, park well and let people who are courageous enough to speak up do so.
I find it really amusing, but not very surprising, that a lot of Nigerian men, like you, are triggered by the recent spotlight on domestic abuse and somehow feel the need to defend themselves. Guilt is a biatch, yeah?
I've always wondered about this, too. You and your thread made me wonder even more.
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by eyinjuege: 11:10pm On May 11, 2017|
The world doesn't revolve around your wants. If you like, you can slap your wife for insulting you on your wedding night.
Thank God that some state govts are taking the issue of domestic violence seriously. Its got no place in modern day society. Anyone that decides to act like a barbarian, should be treated as such. They can go and cool off in jail, and practice their boxing skills there.
Regarding men that keep silent in the face of domestic violence, its still their fellow males that make fun of them. You don't always have to blame the women. The women have spoken about their challenges, have shown their battle scars and wounds e.g latest one of mercy aigbe with pictures, even signs and radiology reports of a fractured skull. Wtf!, Nothing is stopping the men from sharing what they're going through.
Some countries who have serious men who care about others have campaign groups and support for men who suffer from domestic violence. Even the groups for women is just recently being taken serious in Nigeria.
Women groups have worked tirelessly to bring out the scourge of domestic violence on women, and yet you as a typical man want it handed to you on a silver platter because you're a man?
You as a man need to work hard to educate people on it. Its not the women that will form support groups for men going through domestic violence as the challenges faced are not the same
Statistics worldwide has always shown women to be the victims in majority of cases, so why are you surprised that they 'play' the victims when they are the victims?
I'm still waiting for the day Nigerian justice system will give a woman half of a man's property. Lets see if Mercy Aigbe will get half of her husbands property after the whole brouhaha. So that your talk of losing half of what he's labored for doesn't hold water. A lot of them usually get away with not providing any support for their children, and start wailing when the children are all grown, and don't have any regard for them.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by ScarletOverkill(f): 11:18pm On May 11, 2017|
@first emboldened: So women where you come from don't need respect? And men don't need love and affection? I've always wondered at the sheer idiocy of statements like this. Can you show love and affection to someone you don't respect? Or is your perception of respect different from mine?
Second emboldened . Interesting. When will it ever be men's fault? It must be an acquired skill, not taking responsibility for any of your actions.
So, according to our wonderful OP, the society practices a system of double standards in cases of domestic violence against women because...they do not consider the fact that...*gasp* men have egos!
And...*whisper* women need to respect that ego of they
dont want to get beaten. How wonderful. The next time a man appears in court on charges of domestic violence, he should just say " ahh, she insulted me and my ego couldn't take it". I'm sure that'd make a very solid defence.
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 11:21pm On May 11, 2017|
ScarletOverkill:Mrs wannabe feminist, refrencing the case of the south African girl is just a shameful act of trying to whip up sentiments on your part, while ignoring countless cases of men who've committed suicide due to the frustration and trauma their wives put them through. This is less pronounced in a coun5 like nigeria, but in the western world, a man can be sent to jail simply for being accused of rape or some form of violence against a woman, without the burden of proof being on the woman. And as regards freeze, did his wife not allege him battering her too?? Or you carefully skipped that just to prove your point??
I am no advocate of domestic violence, but when a woman acts in such an offensive manner as to trigger a man into hitting her, she should be apportioned some blames too, something we never get to see
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by eyinjuege: 11:22pm On May 11, 2017|
Its a pity that when some boys on NL can't come up with logical reasonable arguments, they start talking of feminists to whip up sentiments.
Until I started visiting NL, I never for once bothered about feminists. Till date, I'm still not sure about what the movement is all about.
But I've realised that most of the people tagged feminist on NL are logical.
When something is bad, its bad. You don't need to be a feminist to speak against such.
If people would just apply common sense, be fair to others, and don't give to others what they can't take there'll be no wahala, and everyone will be happy.
The four way test of the Rotarians come to mind......
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by ScarletOverkill(f): 11:31pm On May 11, 2017|
The only time you're allowed to take reflex action is if you were hit. Do you go around reflex actioning everyone who badmouths you, or do you reserve that honour for your wife alone?
A man who hits anyone because of any useless ego is a beast and should be treated as such.
Reflex action should be in self defence and nothing more.
Women are being excused?
So, when a man who beat his wife because she "disrespected" him is being arraigned, the wife should be arraigned in court, too? Or the matter shouldn't be taken to court at all, since the whole fault apparently lies with the woman, as it is not men's fault that they possess over-fed and over-bloated egos?
What sort of offspring are people raising these days?
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by KhalDroggo: 11:32pm On May 11, 2017|
Well, at least we agree that my use of gifs and bold print is like your use of brain power: loud and pointless You're one of those bright boys who only sees the good in those who blindly agree with you. Sorry, won't join be joining that bandwagon.I see other Nairalanders have been putting you in your place though. Very nice.....
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by eyinjuege: 11:34pm On May 11, 2017|
You need to calm down, and stop listening to beer parlour gossips. Before a man is convicted of rape, there must be an investigation. Some young men have been acquitted of rape in the western world because during the trial it showed it was consensual. I don't believe the justice system is about punishing innocent people.
This is not a war of the sexes, and your topic was about domestic violence. You have brought in another topic- the cases of false accusations of rape in the western world.
Rape is a criminal offence, and the burden of proof isn't on the woman, but rather on the prosecution- the federal govt in this case. Every reported case of rape must be taken seriously by the authorities and investigated appropriately
We know for a fact that rape is very common in Nigeria, especially the rape of children as it seems to be a daily occurrence. I'm sure its even a tip of the iceberg. Hopefully, we will have a serious government who will take that up too with all they've got
There's no need to defend evil. Rape is evil. No means No.
False accusations is also evil, so that has no place amongst reasonable humans.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by ScarletOverkill(f): 11:45pm On May 11, 2017|
Yes o, any female who disagrees with your disgraceful views is a feminist. That word has to be the most used and abused word of the millennium.
Bringing up the south african girl was me showing you that nobody is "playing" the victim - they are actual victims speaking out, but I'm sure you'd rather they shut up.
Provide stats showing the exact number of "countless" men who committed suicide because their wives verbally abused them. Dont worry, we go wait.
Freeze's wife's counter-allegations have nothing to do with my point, so, yes, i skipped it. I was making a point about the fact that Freeze was mercilessly mocked by other men when he made his own allegations; that men are the ones who perpetaute the culture of sucking it up. What on earth has his ex wife's counter allegations got to do with the fact that he was mocked for making his?
@second emboldened: Yes, you are. A woman should only share the blame if she did the hitting first.
And you just showed yourself to be cringe-makingly ignorant as to criminal procedure. The burden of proof always lies on the prosecution, except in special circumstances where the burden shifts, and in cases of rape, the woman would, of course, work hand in hand with the prosecution to prove the case.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by chibzykeys(m): 12:36am On May 12, 2017|
Never will I support men hitting women but I've seen women hit their husbands several times and the husband does nothing because they've been brainwashed " that's how marriage is", I once told a friend a woman can never slap me (wife) cos slapping someone won't start with the slap and this things you should pay attention to them , before the slapping I will walk out of that relationship , seen women slap men on the road and the man starts crying and some years back a lady slapped me without provocation and immediately I wanted to reciprocate her friends fought me ,my point is man o woman if you can't cope leave.
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by coolcatty: 1:08am On May 12, 2017|
Dumb comparison....... How many of such women run their dirty uncouth mouth at their boss,soldiers and policemen when aggravated?
I will never hit a woman first...but if my woman looks at me from head to toe and hits me first...I will hit her back....no time for sentiments..
|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by coolcatty: 1:21am On May 12, 2017|
And how many women run their putrid mouth on their female bosses?...female soldiers and policemen?...heck they don't even run their mouth at their tailors and hair stylist..so why run it on their husband that provides for them?
it's just like my wife now,running her mouth at me when I know and have witnessed how she is so so scared of her immediate boss..even stammers when she answers his calls.....a small boy that is not my mate in anything academically and financially...then tomorrow society expects me to walk away when she hits me.....who will pay for my emotional and psychological trauma?
Take time and go through what the OP posted...most of u just comment whatever u think will help u garner likes from ignorant people..... Bet u are not married....never being in a relationship sef..........the society is just moroniic and tends to support a woman even when she denigrates her husband......I have friends that have very provocative women as wives...mwomen with no iota of respect for their husband....just running their ungrateful tap they call a mouth.....causing immense emotional and psychological trauma to the man.....men suffer domestic violence too.
And if any if my female relations raise her hands first to hit her husband,I will regard the man as the biggest fooool on earth if he doesn't retaliate.
Rubbish... What lousy morals are we teaching our young ones self?
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|Re: Why Is Society's View Of Domestic Violence So One Sided?? by hobermener: 4:09am On May 12, 2017|
coolcatty:Glad we still have people who reason like you in today's fūcked up society.
Bless up bro
I'll reply those dumb comments when i gat time, just busy now
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