As a Yoruba boy, i grew up with the orientation that the marital system is a sacred one in which everyone irrespective of his/her status, or belief must partake in. Also, i (perhaps as well as most of people here) was made to belief that a female is never complete without a man by her side. And that one of the essential features to look out for in an irresponsible man is 'being unmarried.'

However, with the little experiences i have seen, heard and witnessed over the years, i think the concept of marriage is seriously misconstrued and overated. Not that, marriage isn't an essential thing, but i think the beliefs that surround the marital institution is becoming stale and unbecoming.

Case 1: That every lady MUST be married at a certain age - This belief has eaten very deep into our belief system, especially among the ladies. While the dangers of late marriage can be tough on females (menopause effects), i do think it is not enough to compel any one into marrying early. Marriage is a long-term commitment that requires at least some level of maturity. You don't just get married to a guy just because you feel he spends on you. You have to at least be into him and him into you to certain depth, before you decide to spend your life with him. This typically takes time. You surely wouldn't love to get married at 23 and get kicked out by 26! It is better late, than disappointing, i guess!

Case 2 - Single parenting: I am an arvid fan of shared parenting, at least i am who i am thanks to the fact that i grew up in one. Nevertheless, i think the idea of the society castigating single parents is wrong and unfortunate. While there are some who got to become single parents due to self-inflicted troubles, i think a majority of single parents were mere victims of society-induced pressure. Take for instance, a lady that was pressured to drop a man that loved her simply because 'he was not of her tribe', for a man that was of 'similar tribe', but was and remain largely irresponsible. Such a lady will most likely prefer and perhaps be better off as a sole parent than stay in a relationship where, she won't feel secure and loved. Perhaps there is a verified stat that says kids are better groomed under shared parentage than single parentage.

Case 3 - Virginity: No doubt, abstaining from sex before marriage is something worthwhile and commendable. However, down the years, i have seen people talk about having flings with Virgins whose hymen are still intact, but have experienced every other forms of intumacy (kissing, romancing, etc etc). Are those ones any better than the ones that have been siphoned before marriage? I think personality should be the highlight of any marriage, not the couples' sexual prowess.

Case 4 - Marrying based on Love: I have read and heard numerous people try hard to define love. But all this while, i have been yet to see a single piece of coherent definition for the 'seemingly abstract word.' If love really exists, then i think it is more likely to be the connection shared between mother and child (most of the time, natural and unabridged), rather than the ones shared between couples. Irrespective of this, i think the best person to marry is not someone you supposedly 'LOVE', but that person you 'like, cherish and understand'. In short, marriage should be between best of friends and not lovers.

Case 5- That everyone MUST get married: Marriage should be a choice thing. The fact is some people are better off sharing things with other persons, while some others are simply better off being on a solo mode. The best thing to happen to any one is never getting mariage. Rather, i believe it is finding one's purpose in life, and pursuing it continuously. That's what life should be about.

©® Adediran Adedayo A.

P. S. The article is basically based on a personal opinion and do not necessarily have to be tagged as being factual or not. It is simply an opinion.

Cc Lalasticlala, Mynd44

Great piece but i think is ur opinion though

akaahs:
Great piece but i think is ur opinion though

Thanks bro

Marriage with family as we know it is dying.
The evolution of working class women, abusive husbands, feminine men, easier acess to cheating is killing it faster than we know.
If you know any successful marriage/family enjoy it while it lasts. The institution is on its sick bed. It might be revived, it might die.

Proudlyngwa:
Marriage with family as we know it is dying.
The evolution of working class women, abusive husbands, feminine men, easier acess to cheating is killing it faster than we know.
If you know any successful marriage/family enjoy it while it lasts. The institution is on its sick bed. It might be revived, it might die.

Exactly sir