I was Shitting in my Toilet yesterday, when a white light appeared.
I heard a voice saying "Riff-Raff my son, i have inspired u 2 write my words. Go forth unto Nairaland & seek out holy ones 2 help"
after all if an illitrate can recieve a book in a cave & some unknown authors were inspired 2 write a jewish religious book.
so if u have a an unbelievable story 2 tell write it here, i wil add it 2 d book.
My own god enabled one of his chosen (koraena) 2 Swallow a Whale for 20 days.
My god wil punish u if u dont believe in him.

Riff-Raff:

I was Shitting in my Toilet yesterday, when a white light appeared.
I heard a voice saying "Riff-Raff my son, i have inspired u 2 write my words. Go forth unto Nairaland & seek out holy ones 2 help"
after all if an illitrate can recieve a book in a cave & some unknown authors were inspired 2 write a jewish religious book.
so if u have a an unbelievable story 2 tell write it here, i wil add it 2 d book.
My own god enabled one of his chosen (koraena) 2 Swallow a Whale for 20 days.
My god wil punish u if u dont believe in him.

Funny, but god spoke to me whilst I was in the toilet as well. It was shortly after he spoke to you. He said 'tell Riff-Raff that he is no longer my prophet, as he left out the bit about money and jets.'
He said, 'Zodiac, go forth and start a church, for it is written you will become a billionaire in five years. You will have a house in every country in the world, you will own 10 jets and world leaders will seek you here, there and everywhere. Remind the world that I am not a poor god. Anyone who fails to contribute 20% of there income to you to the church shall surely burn in hell, but those who obey this commandment shall surely live forever.'
lol 

Well, NO thanks to the two of you for making me choke on my cup of tea. 

look poster be mindful on how you use the name of the lord, he said it in exodus

OP and his co-prophet: Congrats on coming to terms with your shitty god. You can begin to honor him with coprophagy between the two of you guys. [s]And may I suggest a checkup with a qualified psychiatrist? This is the onset of schizophrenia. [/s]

ha ha ha ha ha ha.

jerty:

look poster be mindful on how you use the name of the lord, he said it in exodus

ancel:

OP and his co-prophet: Congrats on coming to terms with your shitty god. You can begin to honor him with coprophagy between the two of you guys. [s]And may I suggest a checkup with a qualified psychiatrist? This is the onset of schizophrenia. [/s]

I was on the crapper, and god appeared to me again (He seems to have a fascination with  the toilet).
He said, 'tell all the people of the world not to mess with my anointed, Zodiac and Riff-Raff. For verily I say unto you, if you insult my prophets, you will surely burn in the everlasting fire of the seven hells. But should you keep my commandment and honour my prophets, you shall surely get all your hearts desires.'
He said,' Tell Ancel to make due reparation to my prophets, Zodiac and Riff-Raff, for the slurs. For verily I say to you, If Ancel does not sacrifice 100 cows at midnight, he shall surely burn in the fire of the 20 hells, and will not be entitled to the 1000 virgins who await the righteous.' thus said the lord.

zodiac, tell it what Bellick told Scofield in Prison Break: "Put your ideas & complaints in the suggestion box" and he tapped the toilet bowl. Yeah. Thats its temple,, right? Sacrifice ko, scar face ni. Lol. Your god used to be a standup comedian but it couldnt keep up.

Zodiac61:

Funny, but god spoke to me whilst I was in the toilet as well. It was shortly after he spoke to you. He said 'tell Riff-Raff that he is no longer my prophet, as he left out the bit about money and jets.'
[b]He said, 'Zodiac, go forth and start a church, for it is written you will become a billionaire in five years. You will have a house in every country in the world, you will own 10 jets and world leaders will seek you here, there and everywhere. [/b]Remind the world that I am not a poor god. Anyone who fails to contribute 20% of there income to you to the church shall surely burn in hell, but those who obey this commandment shall surely live forever.'
lol 

Let me hear you say aww horn aww horn.