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The Audacity Of Shìt by rexbuton: 12:14pm On May 19, 2017
Shît is awesome I must confess. Though known by so many names her manners and temperament remain the same. Borne out of the need to survive she represents the other end of the spectrum, the despised end, yet equally vital and in spite of our collective irreverence she doesn't complain as she understands perfectly our inner workings.

Her greetings like a rumble or a deep growl should not be taken lightly - respect is reciprocal. Forcing even the most valiant into retreat and the weak immediately seeking release. Her room being too small would make someone else hurry, but she is never in haste ; except in the consummate plagued by dysentery whom she chastises him by sending gusts of air and water in infernal fury. Her chastisement not lasting long is however frequent so the lesson learned is committed to memory. But those are on very rare bad days.

Proceeding slowly downwards, mortals being the teases that they are love to test her, per prod she sends her spirit and we're assured she isn't here yet. Another category of subjects are those who would employ diabolical means such as Metronidazole to halt her majesty's procession, to what end? Even such are conquered after incurring unnecessary losses and broken ties from friendly fire. Resign yourself to her fate and she will honour you. As she descends our sense of awareness sharpens and increases but we often times aren't prepared for her. We prod her "are you here yet?" and she sends her spirit once more - foul smelling and pervading as if warning us not to tempt her further...

Shít loves no one and she loves everyone. Preventing us from falling too deep into our sinful games of obstacling her and even the more rebellious sin of preventing that she doesnt exist, she ups the tempo. We of course are jolted by her sudden change in temperament, anger without malice, a holy anger, pure and thorough , instilling fear in board directors , market women, sportsmen , gamblers, executioners and even the carefree students. The latter are wont to offer sacrifices of spittle on their navels , acts that she would never even notice. Sweat breaks forth on the brow, she is not of the excretory family but he knows her well and answers when summoned, rather not being caught in crossfires, he does his job with alacrity cum dexterity and whether under the ministration of rugged colonial AC unit or in the violent Yola sunshine his response changeth not. Her ferociousness doesn't insist upon itself as she lives to the billing per appearance and even commanding chills upon the ones too stubborn to give her passage. It is at least foolhardy to to prod her in this state though many have done with mixed results; some with soiled pants and the lucky ones with a final descent of her spirit.

Her descent with its intrigues also takes its toll on her, as due to the fact that she has been expected for so long and the unavoidable blisters of wielding the whip all day, her glory has been watered down but she can't turn back now, too many depend on her for solace, happiness and their livelihood like in the peculiar case of the night soil man. Most importantly and how would Sir Twyford and Sir Armitage Shanks feel? These men knighted and dedicated to arrange logistics, receive Her and conduct her to the inner recesses of the earth after a bath. These good men would lose their professions, men who conduct charitable services accepting payment in form of the worthless tissue paper.

When she is ready to step out, we as feeble subjects that we are enter into labour. Her entry style depends on how she was treated beforehand and the integrity of her portal. In sodomites it is not unusual to find both sphincters in a state of decay and Her Majesty grieved to be in such a worthless host pours out herself with her fury. They do not feel a thing, it is as though the host just sat and stood up! A conjecture of tragedies , first being denied the joys of expectation bestowed upon those who entertain the Queen daily, secondly virtues lost repeatedly through a gate that should have been closely guarded.

Heralded by Urine, Sweat's kin-man very familiar to the rest of us, we have to coax her gently, sometimes with forceful pleas when we've consumed lots of fibrous material. The uninitiated would think she would bring down the gates in her entrance. But she smiles, coming out sequentially - her climactic moments leaving orgasmic feeling, sliding swiftly, there is sympathetic stimulation with Priapal awakening which is the hallmark of all human emotion. Her late release since it was freshly conceived is soft, luxurious and forms intricate patterns. For other subjects involved in faecomancy and faecstrology we are too familiar with the extra caution in not getting carried away and lured into destruction by the exquisitely patterned motifs in Mr Twyford's bowl.

Her send-forth is a ritual. It must be done with reverence and deep feeling of contrition and at the same time being joyful that she has successfully completed another circuit. Thou must wash thy ass lest boils break forth. Whilst naked, steadily and carefully approach Twyford, at a push of a button Her Majesty hates drawn out goodbyes especially with insufficient water. In standard conditions she'd say her goodbyes fairly quickly, swimming to the septic depths and onward to her reincarnation. Man once again is relieved and resumes his daily activities.

But how did she become so powerful? Why has she reigned for so long? Why is she so daring and fearless in quickening men, women and children? Because of her beauty? Her numerous shades dependent of food consumed? Or is it that she wants to destroy us? Not at all! Alas she carries out her ward rounds because she cares, because she'd rather have murder on her knees than her hands. Because she is truly Invincible ; conquering Negroes and the other races completely and lovingly. Cleaning after her translates to Wealth. She represents an energy source unknown to research institutes. Queen Shít is not biofuel, she's worth more than that. Little wonder Nigerian and Ghanaian occultists would rather eat her than allow her return to the ground. There is so much unexplained and unfathomable but can I go on? Definitely not - I must attend to her.
Re: The Audacity Of Shìt by damilola1978: 1:04pm On May 26, 2017
I never thought that the art of going to toilet and passing out feaces from the body could be gloriously explained in a very analytical manner...very good read!!
Re: The Audacity Of Shìt by rexbuton: 9:14am On Jun 03, 2017
damilola1978:
I never thought that the art of going to toilet and passing out feaces from the body could be gloriously explained in a very analytical manner...very good read!!

I'm pleased you found it interesting. Cheers man.

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