mfm04622:


Some gifts are too big to be given without explanation. A guest will need to explain why he or she is given another man's wife a car! Don't you think so?

padiga047:


There is a line between kindness and mumism.

The man who did what you said has unfortunately crossed that line.

ImaIma1:


Your mind is not yet mature for marriage. You still have a loooong way to go

padiga047:
I wonder how the marriage would look like the wife rides a car and he doesn't.


Why not transfer it to cash and give the couple to start their family.


That man is unknowingly causing trouble.

charain:


The question you should ask yourself is why an egoistic poor man will marry a rich woman ?
when a woman refuse to marry below her class you say; women are only after money,
when a rich woman fall for a poor guy you accuse her of disrespecting the husband by being rich.
What exactly do you want ?

Dpharisee:
Giving a woman a big gift such as a house or car can create problems for the new couple; I know of a couple whose rich parent gave their daughter a house as wedding gift and one day they had a quarrel and she told him to his face that 'after all, he is living in her house given to her by her parents' he threw her out and she ran home to report him to her parents.

The father invited the guy and his wife and told the daughter to kneel before her husband and ask for his forgiveness and told her that the house he gave was for the two of them and that her husband is the head of the home and custodian of the property and not her.
He then asked her to promise in their presence that she will always be a good wife and she goes back to her husband's house and that solved the problem. If the father had not handled it carefully, that marriage would have packed up and today they are a happy couple.

Like was done by my family in a recent wedding, the gift of a new car by the family for the wife was placed in her hands with the husbands hand underneath same way the place the couples hands over the knife during the wedding cake cutting event.

ImaIma1:
But if he had given them a tray as a gift he wouldn't need to ask permission in case they already have enough trays. Such myopic and egocentric mindset! Whatever they do with their gifts is left to them. It is a wedding gift and she is his daughter.
What broke the marriage might not be the gifts bit how the couple handled it.

dominique:
Even an in-law must walk on eggshells to massage the bloated ego of an average Nigerian man. This shouldn't even be a topic for discussion. Why on earth should a woman reject a gift from her own parent? Asking for permission means that there is a possibility of rejecting the car gift which is a huge disrespect to the father that raised her. So many rules and regulations a Nigerian woman must follow all in the name of "keeping her marriage". Nigerians can make marriage harder than rocket science sha.

charain:


The question you should ask yourself is why an egoistic poor man will marry a rich woman ?
when a woman refuse to marry below her class you say; women are only after money,
when a rich woman fall for a poor guy you accuse her of disrespecting the husband by being rich.
What exactly do you want ?

firstking01:
Very Wrong.

sekem:


Very good

To you, you may think it is totally harmless

I totally understand

But sometimes, we just have to read in between the lines to understand certain human actions

If the said father in law wanted to show level of deftness, I believe he would have found a way to specifically specify that the house belongs to both his son in law and his daughter

That way, the young man will go home without necessarily having that sickening feeling that he is being controlled/owned.

You will probably never understand that feeling because you are not a guy

But that feeling is real, for men

Believe it or not, that feeling is probably one of the main reason why some ladies just can't find a man to marry them

The woman is not the problem.

She may be very understanding, very respectful, very humble, very submissive

But...

That's just the problem

Because according to James Hadley Chase, you never know with women!!!

Saintsammurai:
hmm brilliant

ImaIma1:


You lost me with your comment. Why is it that the fact that it is a car gift the problem. My colleague was given a car gift by her dad. And it was a surprise. They didn't know till the wedding day. An uncle of mine gave his daughter a car gift on her wedding day. Both marriages are yet to break up. If a man cannot handle the fact that his woman is from a well to do family, why go ahead?
Communication between a couple is very important. They have to be able to discuss anything and agree.

ImaIma1:
But if he had given them a tray as a gift he wouldn't need to ask permission in case they already have enough trays. Such myopic and egocentric mindset! Whatever they do with their gifts is left to them. It is a wedding gift and she is his daughter.
What broke the marriage might not be the gifts bit how the couple handled it.

1. If the gifts were for the daughter then there is a problem. He could have done this before she got married

2. Since when do you give one party gifts at a wedding is it not meant for both of them?

3. Maybe the daughter is one of those women who makes the man know she comes from money, they argue " get out of my house" she is unhappy " get out of my car!" So the man left. It's not just about the car or the house as it was 6 months after the wedding. It is about what the car represents.

Mofpearl:
Don't see anything wrong with it.

Why would he need hubby's permission to get me a car in the first place?

DOnlooker:

Be careful what you wish for. A father who just one hour after you and his daughter has been joined together as ONE, singles her out and gifts her a car in the full glare of the wedding guests is sending you some strong non-coded messages among which are;
1.) He doesn't see you as the head of the newly created family otherwise it should have been both of you together he will hand over the car keys.
2.) No matter the circumstances, in the event of any misunderstanding, you will always be the one at fault.
3.) He is trying to intimidate you already with money.
etc, etc.
I wouldn't want to have a FIL that will do that, not on the wedding day at least because it will leave a lasting impression on the guests that her father will continue to bankroll my marriage. A real man will understand.

yaki84:

imaimammi. Abadie?

Se nanga aflesh nte flesh fish

ImaIma1:


Your mind is not yet mature for marriage. You still have a loooong way to go

LePrezident:
How is this disrespectful? If I decide to gift my daughter, the husband has no business being peeved. So because she's married she's no longer my daughter? Is he for real?

innobarca:


And the woman that is driving a car while the husband is jumping a bus is MATURE for marriage?
After marriage, Husband and wife becomes one...Nobody wants the other to suffer if there is true love.

For the gift,A gift should be for husband and wife and some responsible father in-laws knows how to go about it,It doesn't matter where it is coming from,the most important thing is that the gift is for the NEW COUPLE.