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I wil advice u 2just be quiet about it,my gf too does it and i complained,but didnt hear and i told her it wld backfire,later she started receivg nuisance calls and told me and i said u caused it,if u over react, she wil feel like a superstar and a beautiful girl but face your biz,she wil submit after various deceit 4rm toasters if she moves wit dem,note dat your silence wil also make her feel like u hav somtin compensating u,dnt over depend on her and pray well.born again no be born again at times.so if she bleeps up,u wil get beta ladies.i wonder why girls play with fire in d name of friendship.it is lack of maturity and covetousness.'ojukokoro',

@poster
a woman that gives her number to some stranger toasting her has absolutely NO RESPECT for her man/relationship and if she truly loved you she would never do that.

the only reason i can think of is that she want to get whatever that fool is offering and check her options therefore you are definitely not what she is aiming for(because if you were, she wouldnt still be looking).

we all know how "some" 9ja ladies are materialistic so she might want to squeeze whatever that guy will be offering(sometimes at a dear cost) . if he is successful and wealthy then you lost your girl that instant.

ask your girl this simple question:
- what are you hoping to gain from giving your number to some stranger that wants to date/fukc you?
- are you willing to jeopardize our relationship because of some fools that you never met?
- can i give my number to any girl i see in the street that look good too?

as tough as it might be to accept it, she's right, its her life and she can take any nos that she pleases. Same goes for u poster. However its just disrepectful to do it in front of you. Let her be, don't act so insecure or make issues out of it, it belittles you. Instead know that she can be trusted or hv any number of reasons for her to hv taken the guy's no. Comfort yourself that u r her guy, the one she has chosen already. Shine ya eyes tho and feel free to take nos in her presence too. Might be an eye opener for her. Its cool as long as she can set boundaries. Moreover You had rather be with a lady who has the chance to cheat or leave you and doesn't as against one who stays true to you cos you close mark her. Remember, she is an adult and a lady who wants to cheat will cheat no matter how much u monitor her.

ps , forget abt the whole submissive thing, for now atleast, also learn to trust

To Question
By giving him her number indicates she needed a call from him. otherwise.

Simple, SHE A EFFING Ho!!!

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She doesnt respect you and is clearly looking at other men as an option to leaving you.

seeking opinion from nairalanders on such a delicate issue has been a dangerous move but i must give credit to the maturity expended by all. if you ask me, akinbola2 said it all

Based on my views, when a lady gives a dude her number. . .its like a go ahead sign to him to further his advances. . .almost like saying "lets see what happens" So. . .SHE has no respect for you. . .because if she does. . . she wouldn't be giving her number out to POTENTIAL dudes!

@Poster,

I think you've gotten the best of advices here from more matured minds.

I got a girl who does the same thing.

I guess one should not be bothered about such things. If she's mine, she'll be.

There's no need to kill yourself over one, when there are millions around.

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Dude, give a few correct chicks your number. . .

Trust is relativve, if differs from person to person, finding a true trustworthy person is like finding a needle in a haystack, but there are some out there.

One thing I don't want is you to NOT trust people, and end up missing someone special.  

Like my sis says (applies to me too) : Dont be sorry, Be Careful!  

Be grateful you found out before marrying her, or else she be  welcoming men into her home for "fun"

^^^Whatever happened to u

I find it hard to believe those words are actually your's. . . What a dramatic change

ure terrible lmao

@ Oligarch

It's really pathetic you had to waste two years with her. She's only deceiving herself giving you the ridiculous "it's in my nature" crap. If I should give my number to a dude that toasts me with or without a boyfriend, it just means I like the attention I'm getting and feel I'm still wanted by all and sundry. Thank God I don't need that. She giving out her number is just a go ahead sign, "I like what I'm hearing, continue" "Sweet talk me more".  That is how it works. Let no woman deceive you. In relationship one has to be considerate to the other's feelings. What the heck will a girl and her admirer be talking about on the phone after all formalities are gotten out of the way if not more toasting?

If you ask me you are better off without someone who can't be considerate to your feelings. I wish you good luck.

All these born again girls giving us good girls a bad name sef.

I took my time and i read every word everyone here has written and believe me it's worth d time , to be candid with you guys my present girl friend does the same thing too , she gives out her number to her toasters and most of them call her when i'm with her but i've never asked her to stop it but i guess i'll soon .

My opinion is that it's totally wrong for her to be giving out her number to her toaster's , but believe me instead of me to complain after i might have asked her to stop giving out her number and she refuses i'll go on and toast a lot of ladies and give them my number so as she is receiving calls from her toaster's and giggling i also will be receiving calls from other women and giggling too then she will know exactly what it feels like .

Well these days can a Man really find a Good woman out there , believe me it's Highly Impossible ,

I don't know why your fiancee does that, , it doesn't sound like she's your fiancee, certainly not one worth having or trusting. So, insulate yourself from the pain and heartbreak that should be coming out anytime soon, she's not serious with the relationship with you,dump her before
she dump you.

@poster i'll advice u go to give testimony for what God has done for u by provideing you a good Job, make sure she's in the service while giveing ur testimony, if she calls u later on to congratulate u about ur new job, have it in mind that she's already regreting and wish she could say, "I'm so sorry" :', pls do consider having her back. this is to let you have in mind that she has oloju kokoro as d yorubas will call it. bro let just watch and see if she wouldn't call, dis i did and d gul called becos she wan chop money. i pitty some guls. take care bro

i meant do not consider her back. pardon me,

very interesting post

@poster - sorry about the relationship, with new job+ new year = new opportunities.

Oligarch:


I'm still feeling disillusioned by the whole episode and the eventual break-up - especially because she could so easily forget my sacrifices, efforts, commitment and all the good; so easily calling my bluff and showing me such unconscionable disregard and ingratitude. Could it be 'ojukokoro' based on what some other man/men are offering her (now now)? Now that I am about to start a promising career? Could it be something else? Guess only God Knows. Now I don't know how I can ever trust any woman (especially the so-called born-again) or give my all in any future relationship. Perhaps 'love' is a mere game after all, and marriage? A dreadful prospect.

oh my, now dats one thing i fear most for u
please dont because of an ungrateful girl who does not know what she wants or where she is heading to loose faith in love and trust.
believe me i feel the pain u're goin through.
u're yet to meet that special some one and i just hope this situation will not cloud your judgement

This topic is interesting and I will like to be frank as possible. She is ur fiancee doesnt mean she can make friends, all she just av to do is define the kind of friends she is making with them
someone like me, i feel more comfortable ard my male friends than female friends, and I dont see my toasters as threats, I f they want my number , I will give it to them, the fact that ur gfrd has toasters means she is presentable, just sit her down and let her understand u dont really like the idea, every number she collects poses a threat to ur relationship, that doesnt mean u shudnt trust her, if she wants anything real to do with them, I dont think she will ever let u know abt it in d first place, pls I stand to be corrected but really relationship is all about trust
If she is urs, no matter the number of toasters, she will be urs

@afrobaby

Well said!! Too many small minded people!!

@afrobaby,i like your words,well said.

nope, hell no, why you wanna flirt around

.

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afrobaby:

This topic is interesting and I will like to be frank as possible. She is your fiancee doesnt mean she can make friends, all she just av to do is define the kind of friends she is making with them

unless you are 15yrs old, you have a pretty good idea about what these guys want from you. they dont want to be your "friend", they want to fukc you(excuse my french) or at least get to know you to date you.
either way, since you are in a relationship already, you shouldnt go that way.
my woman has thousands of friends but none of them are guys who tried to pick her up in the street as she has more class than that.

someone like me, i feel more comfortable ard my male friends than female friends, and I dont see my toasters as threats, I f they want my number , I will give it to them,

do you need to give your number to feel desirable? is it a low self esteem and the guys make you feel special?
what exactly do you seek from these friendship with strangers?
having male friends is not the problem or a threat, its the way they become your so called "friend" that is.
if you look at it realistically, these guys are just people who want to get down with you that you are putting on hold. . . . . . that in itself is a lack of respect for your relationship.
there is a big difference between "making friends" and giving your number to ANY man who is trying to chat you up in the street.
if they were just "friends" then why dont you take their numbers IN FRONT OF YOUR BOYFRIEND.

the fact that your gfrd has toasters means she is presentable,

are you insinuating that any presentable girl should take any man's number for the sake of it?
thats complete nonsense!!!!
if my woman takes ANY guy's number then she is CHEAP, HAS NO CLASS and is very lonely that she needs any clown out there to become her friend. either way we would have to sit and have a serious talk.
do you even know the meaning of the word FRIEND?

just sit her down and let her understand u dont really like the idea, every number she collects poses a threat to your relationship, that doesnt mean u shudnt trust her, if she wants anything real to do with them, I dont think she will ever let u know abt it in d first place,

come on, thats the oldest trick in the book, telling your bf about all the guys who want her and taking their number just for the sake of feeling desirable. any hoe out there can get numbers from guys, even the ugliest ones, its how you act that define the hoe from the ladies.
maybe some of these guys will end up as friend in the process but we all know that their aim is to get in your pants. so my question is:
- since they are your "friends", why dont you invite them to join you and your bf to go out  to dinner together(like friends do)?
- why dont you invite them to your house to chill (like friends do)?

these guys dont want to meet your bf and you dont want to introduce them therefore something is WRONG in this picture.

the simple thing to do is to ask these guys openly the day they come and "toast" you, what do you want from me and why did you decide to come and toast me?

pls I stand to be corrected but really relationship is all about trust
If she is urs, no matter the number of toasters, she will be urs

well let me correct you then, relationship are about TRUST and RESPECT along with HONESTY as well.
you are definitely lacking respect for your relationship if any tosser out there can be part of your life.
if a woman come and toast me, i will tell her that i am flattered but because i respect the relationship i have with my gf, i have no intention to get to know her in any way (since i know her intentions). taking her number would be an insult to what my girl and I have as a couple because it would mean that i am looking for something to fall back on the day we split up(or to cheat).

@Poster, My ex-gal does dt like a hobby. She givs her no 2 any guy dt comes her way at d slightest asking. D tin is, a woman's nature is benign wit pride nd self-esteem. Thus,u present urself so cheap wen u giv ur no out easily 2 a guy whom u jst met. In my thinkin,a guy askin 4 ur no is nt doin so 2 kip it stored on his fone. He hs som sinister interest in u,nd 4 d gal 2 giv him shws she wuld welcom his company nd dt she's open 2 him. I'm nt against dt idea at all,bt based on my view as a man,any gal dt givs me her no without much ado is cheap. And 1 bad tin my ex does,she evn makes xtracöol callin her so-calld male friends. It ws at dt point i knew she doesnt value d relatnshp. Dts very crazy!