Let me start by acknowledging this fact.
Family section on Nairaland, is the most matured section where you find quality opinions from experienced parents.
With that in mind, what I hope to accomplish is to get sound opinions from you guy. Thanks!

My boy came home, telling me a man was trying to play with his genital part, I was scared, but I never made it glaring to him. So I thanked him for confronting me to tell me this, then I further asked, who was the man?
Then he said, Dad, I am sorry I wouldn't tell you, I frowned at that, why wouldn't you tell me?
Then the mum came, called me in and said, respect the boy for telling you what happened, if he says he's not telling you the person, forget about it, so that he will find it easy to confide in u next time.
I was terribly shocked!
Nairalanders, at that point what will the father do? Let go?
Or knowing the man is not the fathers' business really? I'm just confused!!

There is more to that my brother investigate that matter very well

u should be proud but u can hire me and my guys to beat up d guy for u we are call beating squad

Just take the boy to somewhere nice. Treat him right and buy him stuff. This will make him open up.

pasqal09:
Just take the boy to somewhere nice. Treat him right and buy him stuff. This will make him open up.

Thanks, bro. The point actually is, the mother isn't seeing anything biggie in that..

Hopemoney:
There is more to that my brother investigate that matter very well

I see, but does it worth it? Don't want to take any stupid step?

But if it your daughter that someone tried to touch her private part, she wouldn't judge same way. I hope she didn't say it in d presence of the boy sha.

Anyway don't be too serious in asking him just ask him later jokingly or is he a grown up? How old is he? Or perhaps he was threatened.

Youe wife is perfectly correct; its one step at a time. If u jump, u might loose focus on the matter, knowing who the man is shld come later, preventing further occurance shld be ur proirity.

I really do feel you should ask the boy who it was, let him know you not willing to know so as to cause trouble but for his own safety, give him reason to confide in you

RadicallyBlunt:
But if it your daughter that someone tried to touch her private part, she wouldn't judge same way. I hope she didn't say it in d presence of the boy sha.

Anyway don't be too serious in asking him just ask him later jokingly or is he a grown up? How old is he? Or perhaps he was threatened.

Even if he were threatened that should have prompted him to tell me the person in question.
But the situation is leaving a thought in me that he's hiding something from me.

Tobiloba84:
I really do feel you should ask the boy who it was, let him know you not willing to know so as to cause trouble but for his own safety, give him reason to confide in you

I gotta try this, i'll.. thanks.

agohmamuda:
Youe wife is perfectly correct; its one step at a time. If u jump, u might loose focus on the matter, knowing who the man is shld come later, preventing further occurance shld be ur proirity.

How will I know all that?
I least I will have to ask where? how? and when? right?
That's how I feel I can cub subsequent occurrence!!

tempem:

How will I know all that?
I least I will have to ask where? how? and when? right?
That's how I feel I can cub subsequent occurrence!!

You should take it easy, one step at a time or he will clamp up.
If you go full force next time time it happens you won't hear piim

Call him and tell him that daddy is very sad and its because of him. When he asks why, Tell him that its because he does not trust you, and he's hiding things from you . Promise him you will not beat him or shout at him and you will buy his favorite toy or snack if he tells you who it is. Dont pressure him , just tempt him. You can even pretend like you want to cry. Then when he tells you, you must keep every promise you made to him. Before you make any move, call him and tell him what you want to do, why its important you do it and steps you will put in place to ensure that the person cannot molest him again.
Shortcut: Tell him the man is an agent of the devil. It solves alot of problems very fast but dont use this line very often o

Just calm down, and take it easy, try and ask another day. I sincerely do hope I am wrong if I suggest that your wife may know what is going on.

tempem:

Thanks, bro. The point actually is, the mother isn't seeing anything biggie in that..

1- Your wife doesn't know the gravity of the issue at hand.

2- She knows the person already and wants to handle it her own way before you kill someone.

Kids don't like to see their parents cry, work on his emotions. Be sad, get teary, don't eat _tell him you've been unhappy because he doesn't trust you enough to spill. You can take him to his favourite spot and promise his favourite stuff. Don't let it linger, 'cos we don't know what might happen the next time he is out.

Maybe the person has threatened him, hence his refusal to mention his name. This is a very serious issue, start narrowing down suspects, who are the men around him? Came home from where? School? A friend's house?

athaliya:
Call him and tell him that daddy is very sad and its because of him. When he asks why, Tell him that its because he does not trust you, and he's hiding things from you . Promise him you will not beat him or shout at him and you will buy his favorite toy or snack if he tells you who it is. Dont pressure him , just tempt him. You can even pretend like you want to cry. Then when he tells you, you must keep every promise you made to him. Before you make any move, call him and tell him what you want to do, why its important you do it and steps you will put in place to ensure that the person cannot molest him again.
Shortcut: Tell him the man is an agent of the devil. It solves alot of problems very fast but dont use this line very often o

So much words! So many Thanks given.

PaperLace:

1- Your wife doesn't know the gravity of the issue at hand.

2- She knows the person already and wants to handle it her own way before you kill someone.

Kids don't like to see their parents cry, work on his emotions. Be sad, get teary, don't eat _tell him you've been unhappy because he doesn't trust you enough to spill. You can take him to his favourite spot and promise his favourite stuff. Don't let it linger, 'cos we don't know what might happen the next time he is out.

Maybe the person has threatened him, hence his refusal to mention his name. This is a very serious issue, start narrowing down suspects, who are the men around him? Came home from where? School? A friend's house?

Like I said at the onset, I respects the family section!
Thanks, bro. I'll sieve those opinions and employ the very best.

TheArchangel:
You should take it easy, one step at a time or he will clamp up.
If you go full force next time time it happens you won't hear piim

I also thought of this.

This is the best time to be your child's best friend. Find a way to get the name out of him. However, pending the time he is ready to tell you, tell him to inform you if it happens again and allay his fears. Predators often threaten the child, it is best if the child knows that no such thing would happen regardless of the threats.

I prat you find the beast


[quote author=tempem post=5733886 Like I said at the onset, I respects the family section!
Thanks, bro. I'll sieve those opinions and employ the very best.[/quote]

Am scared already,

tempem:
Let me start by acknowledging this fact.
Family section on Nairaland, is the most matured section where you find quality opinions from experienced parents.
With that in mind, what I hope to accomplish is to get sound opinions from you guy. Thanks!

My boy came home, telling me a man was trying to play with his genital part, I was scared, but I never made it glaring to him. So I thanked him for confronting me to tell me this, then I further asked, who was the man?
Then he said, Dad, I am sorry I wouldn't tell you, I frowned at that, why wouldn't you tell me?
Then the mum came, called me in and said, respect the boy for telling you what happened, if he says he's not telling you the person, forget about it, so that he will find it easy to confide in u next time.
I was terribly shocked!


Nairalanders, at that point what will the father do? Let go?
Or knowing the man is not the fathers' business really? I'm just confused!!

@Bold,

I am equally shocked!

Like others said, work on the boy's emotions to get the person without telling your wife.

Watch your wife too... Her reaction might be because she doesn't know the gravity or she know the person and doesn't want to divulge.

I pray you have wisdom to tackle this.

You just have to build the trust your son has for you.

Let him understand he has done fantastically well by even letting you know someone did that to him.
Let him know you're there to protect him, and nobody can harm him, so he should always feel free to tell you things.
Let him know that daddy always makes things better.
But don't force or threaten him to reveal the culprit.
Cc: MiddleDimension

eyinjuege:
I pray you have wisdom to tackle this.

You just have to build the trust your son has for you.

Let him understand he has done fantastically well by even letting you know someone did that to him.
Let him know you're there to protect him, and nobody can harm him, so he should always feel free to tell you things.
Let him know that daddy always makes things better.
But don't force or threaten him to reveal the culprit.
Cc: MiddleDimension

So so happy. He just did..
But it wasnt really easy. I had to apply some opinions on this thread, check through some principles in the Bible and I did pray too..

bukatyne:


@Bold,

I am equally shocked!

Like others said, work on the boy's emotions to get the person without telling your wife.

Watch your wife too... Her reaction might be because she doesn't know the gravity or she know the person and doesn't want to divulge.

Thanks. He's told me.

paperlace, sterope, eyinjuege, agohmamuda thearchangel.. and others.. thanks a bunch.

He's spoken out.. and we both sorted it out with the two of us telling each other I love you!!
He prromised daddy never to hide things from him again..
I love you; He said I love you too.
Thanks guyz... never regretted coming over.

You did not mention the age of your boy.
However, I think you should find out who is the man.

Use every trick available.
Someone mentioned giving him a treat or stuff like that to gradually weaken his defences.

If I were you, I would tell him stories that boys lose their genitals when strangers play with their "thing."
That kidnappers do that to boys they plan to kidnap. Surely he wouldn't want that to happen to him.

Beats me though why he wouldn't tell you who.

Tempem, good to know he's told you.

You still have a lot on your hands though, teaching him about his private part and how nobody is allowed to touch him, and how he's not allowed to touch anybody's own too, whether male or female.
There are even some old threads on NL about this.
There are some videos too which are helpful too. With all these cartoon characters so children can relate.

tempem:

Thanks. He's told me.

Good, please protect him.

We don't need another broken child in the society.