MADAME KOI KOI 3 (A TRIP DOWN FGC IKIRUN LANE)

This piece is dedicated to Dr Shittu who was in charge of the sick bay, and to all hostel matrons.

Sir.
Even though you cured all our sicknesses with that single drug Paracetamol, we still love you much.

Even though you refused to allow students to make use of the sick bay in their attempts to 'stab' classes and other activities, we still love you.

Because you were there at all times, draped in lab coats a stethoscope hung on your neck (which you never seemed to use) and you always looked out and cared for our little frail frames, we thank you.
_________
So I continue from where we left off.

'They' had come.

'Awon iya osoronga eleye' had come like Ajileye films had taught me.

'They who hold the ikenga of the spirit world' had come like Pete Edoche's films taught me.

'They who give indoctrinate people into the billionaires club' had come like Kanayo O Kanayo's films taught me.

'They who could help someone kill all his brothers children' had come like Chiwetala Agwu's film taught me.

The most dreaded 'Madame Koi Koi' had come.

Slowly I raised my 'wrapper' (coverlet) over my head.

Slowly my lips began to move and I began to utter the only bible passage I knew.

"Oluwa ni olusho aguntan mi.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not...."
For that was the only passage most students remembered to recite during their trying times.

Whenever they were hiding behind the bush and a search party of seniors pass by, "oluwa ni olusho aguntan mi' came to their lips.
For they believed that the prayer could make the seniors blind and throw them into bickering mode.

Whenever Mr Idowu, the intro tech teacher asks a question in class, with a long cane in his left hand, "oluwa ni olusho aguntan mi" came to their lips.
For they believed that the prayer would make them invincible to the teacher who took special delight in administering his cane.

Whenever students sat at the slabs of the administration block and awaited their parents on visiting day, "oluwa ni olusho aguntan mi" came to their lips.
For they believed that the prayer would kill every demon that awaited their parents on the road and act as a turbo button to speed up the engine of the car.
As no student wanted to be subjected to the fear that their parents may not come on the visiting day.

_________

In the silence of the night, a sound rang out
Fast and scurrying steps that caused my heart to almost leap to my mouth.

While I firmly shut my eyes, my hands gently crossed over Rasak's sleeping airspace.
Gently prodding him to arouse him out of his deep slumber.

Alas!
He did not respond.
A little drool appeared at the side of his mouth and I wondered what he was dreaming about.

Perhaps he was dreaming that he was all alone in the school dinning hall.
Bowls of jollof rice and egg sitting lazily at his left and right hand side, while the scent caused his belly to growl in apparent hunger.
Having no one to restrict him as he prayed the foodies prayer ('some have food but cannot...')

Perhaps he was in the same room with 'she-who-must-not-be-named' in this epistle.
Inching closer with closed eyes and lips parted and expecting to be kissed in those ways he had witnessed in movie scenes.
Expecting to hold her firmly by the waists like Jack held Rose's on the Titanic ship in the film Titanic.

Perhaps he was dreaming that he was already an SS3 student.
A big grin splashed across his face as the younger brother of Snr Tayo lies down flat before him.
Twisting a rubber cane fashioned from a car tyre, in his hands and thanking God for making him the senior he had always prayed to be.

Yes.

The third dream would be the one.
Because I knew the depths which my good friend hated senior Tayo who was a thorn in his flesh.

Senior Tayo who conviniently took all his provisions while leaving him with only three cups of garri and fifteen cubes of sugar.
As if Rasak told the senior that he desired to contract the 'jedi-jedi' disease.
That terrible ailment that caused great discomfort to the students as they could neither sit well in class nor sh*t well in the latrines.

Senior Tayo who forced him to sleep on the spirogyra filled beds which were brought down from the decking of red house.

Aye. My friend Rasak greatly abhorred the tall and lanky senior Tayo with a 'semi rich boy swag' walk.


With a little vigour I shook him more but the poor lad did not shake.

Eeehh.
Would I be the only person to experience this ordeal?
Would I be the only meat in the soup of this madame koi koi.
Would I be the only one to suffer 'agbako' in the room filled with other students?

"Never" my mind said as I began to feign a loud snore.
That kind of snore that sounded like the revving of a Mr Ajayi's four year old Volvo car.

That kind of snore that sounded like the 'agbara-ojo (thunder sounds) that sends little children running into their mothers beds while covering their heads with the soft pillows.

That kind of snore that would normally elicit (bring forth) a slap from any senior that is awake.
For seniors hated juniors that tried to disturb them in the dead of the night when they read.

While I faked the snore, the room got colder and within two minutes, a sharp cry erupted from a student in the next room.

What happened?
Who did it happen to?
Find out in the next episode
#BASHORUN

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Thanks a bunch to everyone who has been faithfully following up. You are the best.
Tunmise Fayemi, it's time to pick up that pen once more.