PLS NOTE: THIS STORY DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME BUT I ONLY WANT TO GEI PEOPLE'S OPINION ON THIS




Dear Agatha,

I have been married for just one year and already my husband is complaining bitterly about my sexual performance.

I have tried to be the kind of woman he wants me to be but I am limited severely by the type of training I got as a young child. My mother presented intimacy as dirty and only done when a man and woman are making babies.

She told me never to allow my man use me as a intimacy tool; that it was ungodly for a man and woman to have intimacy when they are not thinking of making babies. She said men were selfish and animals who were always requesting for intimacy from women.

She told me never to UnCloth in the presence of my husband and that we should always do it when it is dark. My elder sister whose husband threw out of her matrimonial home has told me not to mind our mother if I don’t want to end up like her; her husband is now married to another woman. My mother says my sister’s husband is the son of the devil. She says any woman who enjoys intimacy is a love-peddler.

My husband respected me enough not to pressure me into having intimacy with him before our wedding night. A month after our wedding I still hadn’t allowed him near me until he forced himself on me one night.

Since then, it has been a tug of war getting me to sleep with him. I love my husband so much; I don’t want to lose him to another woman. I am forced to come to you to teach me what I should do to keep him. I am sure his decency and respect for me is what is keeping him from going after other women because not only is he extremely handsome, he has both the means and experience to get any woman he wants.

I am really desperate to do what I have to do. Please help me if you really want this marriage of mine to survive. You are the only hope I have as I can’t discuss this with any other person and don’t even have any idea where to begin from. I am 28 years old while my husband is 32.

Ann.

woye77:


My mother presented intimacy as dirty and only done when a man and woman are making babies.

She told me never to allow my man use me as a intimacy tool; that it was ungodly for a man and woman to have intimacy when they are not thinking of making babies. She said men were selfish and animals who were always requesting for intimacy from women.

She told me never to UnCloth in the presence of my husband and that we should always do it when it is dark.

What planet is this woman from? Planet of the apes? I'm quite sure this woman who calls herself a mother is one of those women who are still in support of female circumcision. I'll advise your friend to listen to her elder sister and stay away from her mother.
She's an enemy of progress. she can't be trusted. If not, why would a loving & caring mother give that kind of silly and meaningless advice to her daughter?
She has lived her life and probably it worked for her but it cannot be the same for you.
This is a new age. Things have changed.
A woman who denies her husband Sexx intentionally is putting her marriage at risk.
She's lucky to have a nice and patient husband.

sry but ur mum sld be shot wiv a bow n arrow.,,,,,,

what a daft woman @28

abi na man write this story?

Dear, sory.i understand what u r going tru. Your mum convinced u that sex is evil. She sucesfuly washed ur psyche. Probably to prevent u from premarital sex. Now that ure married it is legitimate. BE DETERMINED TO GIVE UR HUBY QUALITY SEX, IF NOT UR MARIAGE IS AT STAKE, Be determinf to find pleasure in it, PLEASE AND PLEASE. . . . .A PROBLEM IDENTIFIED IS HALF SOLVED!!!

I have neva seen a mother (African) who has openly said to her daughter that intimacy is a good thing.
If you watch a movies that has a intimacy scene with them,all they do is scream and ask you to change the channel.
Bt well ,they are alwaz beliving they are protecting you from pre-martial intimacy.

sad that a mother would directly be setting up her daughters marriage for failure. i just believe that mothers should know when not to cross the line with their "advices". why wouldnt a married woman UnCloth in her husbands presence? whats she hiding?gosh this kind of "advices" and stupid mentality makes me vomit.

instead of your mother to be advising you on how to build your marriage and home, she is there advising you on how to destroy it

@ woman in question: your elder sister should be your role model in this. coz she has gone through with the disastrous advice of your mom and you see where she ended up? back where she started. sex is not and shouldnt be only for the purpose of procreation. your husband and you are still too young to deny each other sex. no matter how "good" your husband may seem you cant deny the fact that one day he will surely have enough of you and your moms indoctrination and then it will HIT you. another failed marriage. another statistics.

I'm quite sure this woman who calls herself a mother is one of those women who are still in support of female circumcision

agree. she definitely fits the typical description of them. cos the whole idea of FC is usually to stop the woman from enjoying intimacy.

rita@NL:

I have neva seen a mother (African) who has openly said to her daughter that  intimacy is a good thing.
If you watch a movies that has a intimacy scene with them,all they do is scream and ask you to change the channel.
Bt well ,they are alwaz beliving they are protecting you from pre-martial intimacy.

its our culture. women arent allowed to express their sexuality. from early start our society and family encourage/force us to hide and suppress our sexuality. men are given the sexual freedom. and from that early start, many women have the mind set that [i]s[/i]ex isnt something to be enjoyed, just lie like a log of wood there and look up in the ceiling, it will be done soon. its only for children and for the men.  the few who try to express theirs, are usually met with been "labeled". glad many women are definitely being sexually liberated from the medieval sexual suppression of society.

interestingly enough those with the [i]s[/i]ex is dirty mindset ends up suffering from many sexually related problems in their marriage and
relationships.

woye77:

A month after our wedding I still hadn’t allowed him near me until he forced himself on me one night.
Since then, it has been a tug of war getting me to sleep with him.

Unbelievable!!!

it was not your fault to wrote this,the man caused it . The wedding should not have taken place at all

She needs counseling. As a matter of fact, that should have been done before marriage. This is a very deep rooted psychologial issue and it needs to be taken care of in order for her to become open to her husband. Basically to undo what her mother has bombarded her with over the years/

@ 28 years of age the woman is old enough to find out for herself how she can improve her intimacy life.


Nothing concerns her mother here.

tpia.:

@ 28 years of age the woman is old enough to find out for herself how she can improve her intimacy life.


Nothing concerns her mother here.

but you cant ignore the fact that many years of conditioning from her mom has greatly affected and impacted her views on [i]s[/i]ex. so her mother definitely has a big role to play here. and the fact that she was a virgin before she married also plays a role. if she wasnt a virgin and her mom told her all this, with early sexual experience she would have discovered the lies and probably not soaked in her moms bad advice.

she will probably need some form of therapy/help to help undo the damages of her moms conditioning

true, but if she can write a newspaper columnist about her problem, then she can also actively look for ways to solve this problem.

Read relevant books, etc.

The husband should also help her out.