.

Another because she is pregnant story?

Talk to her. Try to make her see reasons with you and if she refuses to change,then divorce her.

Apparently she is not ready to be a wife,or she has a lover somewhere.

The she "got pregnant" sob story and that's why i married her is stale,and no man should fall for that trap.

I know 3 very beautiful Nairalanders that are single mothers,infact one contested for Miss Nairaland one time. And if it was by beauty,whoever got them pregnant would have married them.

Nobody gets married again to those girls using pregnancy as a trap now. Not when Postinor2 is cheap.

Be guided guys.

40kobo77:
Another because she is pregnant story?

Talk to her. Try to make her see reasons with you and if she refuses to change,then divorce her.

Apparently she is not ready to be a wife,or she has a lover somewhere.

The she "got pregnant" sob story and that's why i married her is stale,and no man should fall for that trap.

I know 3 very beautiful Nairalanders that are single mothers,infact one contested for Miss Nairaland one time. And if it was by beauty,whoever got them pregnant would have married them.

Nobody gets married again to those girls using pregnancy as a trap now. Not when Postinor2 is cheap.

Be guided guys.

I think she is not just ready to be a wife. but as per she having a lover somewhere,I'm sure she doesn't. the reason being that we schooled in the same same. I did mechanical engineering and she did accounting. and we dated for 4years before she got pregnant. though, during courtship she is always after me everywhere I go because I use to be a celeb in school then and she go with me everywhere to scare every other girl she thinks I might be having something with.
now. I'm really afraid to divorce her because of my daughter. because I'm also a product of broken home and I know what I went through to get to where I am today. and I will never pray for someone I know to be a product of broken home because it is hell.
The worst part of it is that her parent insists we must do court wedding and I accept that.

And you know the kind of problem with getting divorced after being married legally.

Analog95:


I think she is not just ready to be a wife. but as per she having a lover somewhere,I'm sure she doesn't. the reason being that we schooled in the same same. I did mechanical engineering and she did accounting. and we dated for 4years before she got pregnant. though, during courtship she is always after me everywhere I go because I use to be a celeb in school then and she go with me everywhere to scare every other girl she thinks I might be having something with.
now. I'm really afraid to divorce her because of my daughter. because I'm also a product of broken home and I know what I went through to get to where I am today. and I will never pray for someone I know to be a product of broken home because it is hell.
The worst part of it is that her parent insists we must do court wedding and I accept that.

And you know the kind of problem with getting divorced after being married legally.

It is this fear of a broken home that she is capitalizing on to play mind games with you.

But you cannot continue like this. Something has to give.

Analog95:
.

I'm a young man in my late 20's. I got married recently, precisely on the 5th day of November,2016. not because I was really prepared for the wedding.

MISTAKE #1
Marry a girl without having a proper understanding of what it takes to be successfully married. You have NO respect for the institution of marriage.

but my girlfriend got pregnant

MISTAKE #2
Getting married for the wrong reasons.if you guys were NOT ready to be responsible parents, you should have had an abortion.

and she is a girl I really love with my whole heart

MISTAKE #3
You should have made 110% sure that she felt the same way about YOU before thinking of marrying this babe

and can't stand she bearing the pain of having a child out of wedlock. so I had to marry her once and for all

MISTAKE #4
So you married the babe out of PITY?! Even worse!!!

even though my mum never supported it. but since I'm financing the wedding myself. I just moved on with it..

MISTAKE #5
So you didn't listen to your mother, because you foolishly think that paying for the wedding made you a wise adult?!

precisely 3 weeks after the wedding. she gave birth to a baby girl which without DNA.it is obvious she is my daughter because the resemblance is striking

MISTAKE #6
I suggest you do a DNA test, because resemblance is what fooled many foolish fathers into thinking they were the dad, when they were NOT

but what gives me pain is that since we got married. she never stayed with me for a complete month. she will always have a reason to travel to her family members.

MISTAKE #7
Isn't it obvious that this gal is running away from you, for whatever reason... And has little or no love for you? You Married the WRONG babe, with No family/future plans on hand. Did she ever lived with you before the marriage? How long were you guys dating? Pls bro, GO DO A DNA TEST!!!!

now,she decided to learn how to sow wedding gown but she doesn't seem it fit to learn it in my house. she decided to travel to akure to stay with her parent and from her house to the place. meanwhile I'm in ogbomosho.

MISTAKE #8
Be A MAN and put your foot down and say NO!!! How can you even allow her to go? Is there no such gown making places near your house? If there is NOT, then let her sit at home until she finds something to learn close by. You are a whimp, and she is treating you the weakling that you are, while missing the best part of your child's life growin up.
Is she not married to you?! Why get married if she doesn't see fit to live with you. Haba grow a pair bro!

she should at least leave my daughter to me and go where ever she wants. But she won't

MISTAKE #9
The above shows us all that you don't really care about this stranger, and fully well know that this marriage was a damn mistake. GOOD!! So she wont stay home with her husband, won't leave your daughter and you just sit there and accept like a BIATCH?!

please I need advice on what to do because I have tried everything I can do but now I'm feed up.

There are only 2 options here... Tell this lady to come and be your wife (as a family) or divorce her.... If you stay married while continuing to accept this nonsense, then you will just end up a miserable man whose wife has NO respect for.
PS: I won't even try to ASSUME what she does on these trips away from home.

MrBrownJay1:


MISTAKE #1
Marry a girl without having a proper understanding of what it takes to be successfully married. You have NO respect for the institution of marriage.



MISTAKE #2
Getting married for the wrong reasons.if you guys were NOT ready to be responsible parents, you should have had an abortion.




MISTAKE #3
You should have made 110% sure that she felt the same way about YOU before thinking of marrying this babe



MISTAKE #4
So you married the babe out of PITY?! Even worse!!!



MISTAKE #5
So you didn't listen to your mother, because you foolishly think that paying for the wedding made you a wise adult?!



MISTAKE #6
I suggest you do a DNA test, because resemblance is what fooled many foolish fathers into thinking they were the dad, when they were NOT



MISTAKE #7
Isn't it obvious that this gal is running away from you, for whatever reason... And has little or no love for you? You Married the WRONG babe, with No family/future plans on hand. Did she ever lived with you before the marriage? How long were you guys dating? Pls bro, GO DO A DNA TEST!!!!



MISTAKE #8
Be A MAN and put your foot down and say NO!!! How can you even allow her to go? Is there no such gown making places near your house? If there is NOT, then let her sit at home until she finds something to learn close by. You are a whimp, and she is treating you the weakling that you are, while missing the best part of your child's life growin up.
Is she not married to you?! Why get married if she doesn't see fit to live with you. Haba grow a pair bro!



MISTAKE #9
The above shows us all that you don't really care about this stranger, and fully well know that this marriage was a damn mistake. GOOD!! So she wont stay home with her husband, won't leave your daughter and you just sit there and accept like a BIATCH?!



There are only 2 options here... Tell this lady to come and be your wife (as a family) or divorce her.... If you stay married while continuing to accept this nonsense, then you will just end up a miserable man whose wife has NO respect for.
PS: I won't even try to ASSUME what she does on these trips away from home.

Thank you so much sir. I got somethings from the above posts.really appreciate it bro.God bless you and your household.

Analog95:
Good evening to you all on nairaland. I'm in a very tough situation right now and I need positive advices from you all. no insults please.

I'm a young man in my late 20's. I got married recently, precisely on the 5th day of November,2016. not because I was really prepared for the wedding.

But my girlfriend got pregnant and she is a girl I really love with my whole heart and can't stand she bearing the pain of having a child out of wedlock.

so I had to marry her once and for all even though my mum never supported it. but since I'm financing the wedding myself. I just moved on with it..
precisely 3 weeks after the wedding. she gave birth to a baby girl which without DNA.it is obvious she is my daughter because the resemblance is striking.

but what gives me pain is that since we got married she never stayed with me for a complete month. she will always have a reason to travel to her family members.

now,she decided to learn how to sow wedding gown but she doesn't deem it fit to learn it in my house. she decided to travel to akure to stay with her parent and from her house to the place. meanwhile I'm in ogbomosho. she should at least leave my daughter to me and go where ever she wants.but she won't. please I need advice on what to do because I have tried everything I can do but now I'm feed up.

First, it appears as if you married her out of pity, even if you have the intention to marry her in the long run, you should have let her deliver of the baby before you tie the knot with her . But the deed is done already.

Second, you allowed her to travel ni, i want you as a man[husband] order her not to go anywhere without your permission and see if she will defy the order. If she defies the order then she needs some moral lessons.

pls talk to your wife ,she may not have any insincere motive.truth be told its not easy leaving your family especially close knit one for marriage (I'm using myself as an example).
my first Yr in marriage was mostly spent in my home, I missed it terribly.I didn't notice t was taking its toll on my hubby after all I do stock the freezer , the store kitchen and laundered our clothes. Yes I always went with my 1st son
(plenty nannies,cooks,helps etc).by the 2nd Yr I needed no one to advise me,I just stopped going;had to focus and build my home.Also hubby told me abt how empty the house used to be .
A lot of ladies do that so just talk to her. I'n sure you do help out at the home front ,it'll also encourage her to stay back.

Dude! You have stamp your authority sometimes. These girls of these days are too stubborn. Tell you don't want those frivolous travels.

Or she divorce and be free again. You to free again to search for the right one

if she won't change for the best

...

#50 condom could have prevented this from happening but it seems guys these days don't learn from other people's experience. If you are not ready for marriage please use a condom to prevent stories that touches. No parents will like it that after training their child in school, when it is time to reap the fruits of their labour,the girl will come home pregnant. That why the pressure is always too much on the girl to marry whether she likes it or not because the financial burden is too much and the parents can't bear it.
Seems you like the girl,just sit her down and talk to her.She might be missing her home because she left unexpectedly because of the pregnancy.

Tell her how you feel. She may just be young and adviced wrongly.

Let her see reason why both of you must plan towards the same goal and vision, and if I may ask hope you are trying you best interms of home keeping allowance. God will have his way.

Sit her down and let her see reaons. If she refused to change, speak to her parents, siblings etc

Sorry about your experience. I hope she changes for the better

Analog95:


I think she is not just ready to be a wife. but as per she having a lover somewhere,I'm sure she doesn't. the reason being that we schooled in the same same. I did mechanical engineering and she did accounting. and we dated for 4years before she got pregnant. though, during courtship she is always after me everywhere I go because I use to be a celeb in school then and she go with me everywhere to scare every other girl she thinks I might be having something with.
now. I'm really afraid to divorce her because of my daughter. because I'm also a product of broken home and I know what I went through to get to where I am today. and I will never pray for someone I know to be a product of broken home because it is hell.
The worst part of it is that her parent insists we must do court wedding and I accept that.

And you know the kind of problem with getting divorced after being married legally.

op your wife is missing home, the place she has being used to all her life its normal. please don't listen to what people are saying as I have being there, the house is quiet and lonely. She is going to get over it. Please give her sometime.

It is very important for married people to live together. I can't over state the importance.

However It does take a while to get used to the married life, especially for a woman. She usually has to leave everything she's used to in order to form a new life with you. Leaving her place of comfort and familiarity. It's hard. I'm speaking from experience.The home is one you're used to unlike her. This is the simple reason why she's acting that way.

my point is that you guys problem hasn't gotten to the point of divorce. Over what?

And how did DNA get into the conversation. Don't create problems for yourself unnecessarily.

Talk to her parents. I don't know why they agreed to let her stay there after you guys are officially married.

My parents would usually tell me to stop visiting too often when I first got married. Lol . I was going there all the time. This is a temporary problem that doesn't need to be escalated.

Sterope:
Sit her down and let her see reaons. If she refused to change, speak to her parents, siblings etc

Sorry about your experience. I hope she changes for the better

I have done that severe times but she sees me as if I nags too much. just recently I still complained to her that I don't like it, instead,she got annoyed saying it to my face that she regret getting married to me.

Stephanie22:
op your wife is missing home, the place she has being used to all her life its normal. please don't listen to what people are saying as I have being there, the house is quiet and lonely. She is going to get over it. Please give her sometime.

She is missing home,and I am missing my wife and daughter. but if per adventure I decide to cheat on her with another lady since she is not there when I needed her, she won't say to the world that she left her husband to live alone,she will only hype the fact that I got someone else pregnant on the midst of legal marriage. just imagine the twist of fate.

Analog95:


She is missing home,and I am missing my wife and daughter. but if per adventure I decide to cheat on her with another lady since she is not there when I needed her, she won't say to the world that she left her husband to live alone,she will only hype the fact that I got someone else pregnant on the midst of legal marriage. just imagine the twist of fate.

so OP WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO TELL YOU THAT THEY HAVEN'T?

different kinds of advice have been posted for you to choose from.
Report her to her parents abi you REALLY want to cheat before?

some ignorant people have advised you to go for a DNA no be so?. pikin resemble you yet they still tell you to take DNA. I swear SOME PEOPLE just go SCHOOL for NOTHING even person who no go BETTER PASS THEM.

it is going to be VERY VERY INSULTING for you to even conceive the idea in your mind not to talk of acting on it. especially if the woman has
been faithful.

you dated for FOUR YEARS ABI? n u still don't know her enough abi is she the chameleon type of woman even if she is, something would have given her away in the years you spent together.

4years n you're still like you got married because of the baby. nawa ooo, before nko?

maybe you would have waited for 7years before getting married to her or probably drop her along the line.

my sincere advice is for you to fight her by reporting her to her parents (they should understand u) or any other civil method to make her responsible .

BUT IF IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO START CHEATING YOU CAN GO AHEAD.

.

NihinlolaTenny:


so OP WHAT DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO TELL YOU THAT THEY HAVEN'T?

different kinds of advice have been posted for you to choose from.
Report her to her parents abi you REALLY want to cheat before?

some ignorant people have advised you to go for a DNA no be so?. pikin resemble you yet they still tell you to take DNA. I swear SOME PEOPLE just go SCHOOL for NOTHING even person who no go BETTER PASS THEM.

it is going to be VERY VERY INSULTING for you to even conceive the idea in your mind not to talk of acting on it. especially if the woman has
been faithful.

you dated for FOUR YEARS ABI? n u still don't know her enough abi is she the chameleon type of woman even if she is, something would have given her away in the years you spent together.

4years n you're still like you got married because of the baby. nawa ooo, before nko?

maybe you would have waited for 7years before getting married to her or probably drop her along the line.

my sincere advice is for you to fight her by reporting her to her parents (they should understand u) or any other civil method to make her responsible .

BUT IF IT IS THAT YOU WANT TO START CHEATING YOU CAN GO AHEAD.

I wasn't going to cheat on her anyway. because if I will,I would have done that during the days of courtship and not now. but shouldn't she consider the fact that if I meant to cheat on her,I won't be disturbing her to come back home because it would have been an open ground for me to do whatever I wanted without she knowing. I said it before. she is a girl I love so much but I'm missing the aspect where my daughter is growing up. all she do is tell me that she is already eating solid food, she is already trying to crawl,she is already trying to walk.but all this I'm missing. but for the cheat aspect,that is out of it. just saying if she eventually pushed me into it. body nobe firewood na.

Analog95:


I wasn't going to cheat on her anyway. because if I will,I would have done that during the days of courtship and not now. but shouldn't she consider the fact that if I meant to cheat on her,I won't be disturbing her to come back home because it would have been an open ground for me to do whatever I wanted without she knowing. I said it before. she is a girl I love so much but I'm missing the aspect where my daughter is growing up. all she do is tell me that she is already eating solid food, she is already trying to crawl,she is already trying to walk.but all this I'm missing. but for the cheat aspect,that is out of it. just saying if she eventually pushed me into it. body nobe firewood na.

cococandy:

kindy reply my mail..

the Op is just trying to create problem where there's none.after all you saw other girls but you dated her,poured your sperm into her and here disturbing uGo there tell your wife's parents you've cone to take them and that they should advice their daighter
In case you don't breakup ,better get used to your kids always going to their maternal home..

Marriage entails you supporting your spouse's dreams. Atimes, you need to sacrifice, and both have to compromise a lot of times.

Your wife is interested in learning how to make wedding gowns, isn't there anywhere she can learn that where you stay? If there's no good place to learn in Ogbomoso, why not make arrangements where you both can be exchanging visits till she finishes her program?

Why not visit each other every 2 weeks? You go to Akure once a month, and she also comes over to you once a month.
It may be extra expenses trying to travel back and forth, but as I said you both need to sacrifice and compromise.

However if she's not keen on exchanging visits and you're also not keen on being the one going to visit them every time, tell her to bring your child to her father's house, provided you can provide adequate care and arrangements for the child.
If she refuses, tell her parents that you want your child with you, and they should send your child home. Your own family also want to see your child. If that doesn't still work, inform your family members to talk to her own family.
It means you're going to escalate things, but get it sorted once and for all.
You've already made suggestions for things to work out foe everyone, and she's consistently refused.

How do you even compare Ogbomosho to Akure? Do you even reason at all?
Babe wants civilization and you are here talking Ogbomosho?
Entice your wife back to your home. Show her what she is missing when she leaves you. You know...all the goodies. it seems she has more advantage at her parents home... you know all the helps she is getting from her family to take care of her baby.

MrBrownJay1:


MISTAKE #1
Marry a girl without having a proper understanding of what it takes to be successfully married. You have NO respect for the institution of marriage.



MISTAKE #2
Getting married for the wrong reasons.if you guys were NOT ready to be responsible parents, you should have had an abortion.




MISTAKE #3
You should have made 110% sure that she felt the same way about YOU before thinking of marrying this babe



MISTAKE #4
So you married the babe out of PITY?! Even worse!!!



MISTAKE #5
So you didn't listen to your mother, because you foolishly think that paying for the wedding made you a wise adult?!



MISTAKE #6
I suggest you do a DNA test, because resemblance is what fooled many foolish fathers into thinking they were the dad, when they were NOT



MISTAKE #7
Isn't it obvious that this gal is running away from you, for whatever reason... And has little or no love for you? You Married the WRONG babe, with No family/future plans on hand. Did she ever lived with you before the marriage? How long were you guys dating? Pls bro, GO DO A DNA TEST!!!!



MISTAKE #8
Be A MAN and put your foot down and say NO!!! How can you even allow her to go? Is there no such gown making places near your house? If there is NOT, then let her sit at home until she finds something to learn close by. You are a whimp, and she is treating you the weakling that you are, while missing the best part of your child's life growin up.
Is she not married to you?! Why get married if she doesn't see fit to live with you. Haba grow a pair bro!



MISTAKE #9
The above shows us all that you don't really care about this stranger, and fully well know that this marriage was a damn mistake. GOOD!! So she wont stay home with her husband, won't leave your daughter and you just sit there and accept like a BIATCH?!



There are only 2 options here... Tell this lady to come and be your wife (as a family) or divorce her.... If you stay married while continuing to accept this nonsense, then you will just end up a miserable man whose wife has NO respect for.
PS: I won't even try to ASSUME what she does on these trips away from home.

o boy no ralk am ooo. Na heart attack be that oooo

Abiagirl777:
the Op is just trying to create problem where there's none.after all you saw other girls but you dated her,poured your sperm into her and here disturbing uGo there tell your wife's parents you've cone to take them and that they should advice their daighter
In case you don't breakup ,better get used to your kids always going to their maternal home..

make he pour the sperm inside ur toto before?

hello guys neva judge the lady family, ask the guy is he capable of taking care of the wife and is baby now and dose is parent as once buy tooth pick for the baby and the wife, I Tink is the wife parent that is responsible for the bills of the baby, wife and the sis guy himself. ( going to drop another soon)

along I know u are still a student, are u capable of taking good care of ur wife and baby, I don't Tink so

analog don't allow people to push u to what u going to regret in future