What Should A Woman Do If Her Husband Had A Child Outside Marriage

A man impregnated a girl he met on few occasions without realising she is a prostitute. The girl gave birth to the baby and the wife didn't know until the child was 3 months old. Meanwhile since the child was born she has been in the custody of the good samaritan that helped her when she was in labour. The mother refused to take responsibility of the child and has
since continued with her prostitution. What should the man's wife do?

stay or go.
Its the man that has to do something about it. Its his child.
It was not his wife that held him at gunpoint to have sex outside

Take in the baby. He is an innocent victim, and should not be blamed for his parents indiscretion

How about kicking him and his wondering pee pee to the curb! who cares if the woman was a prossie or not. the act is he shudnt be sticking it to anyone else but his wife.[color=#990000][/color]

The question should be if the woman would still stay married to the stupid idiot after cheating on her with a prstitute, not even once but on different occassions. Who knows how many other girls he's been screwing, there might even be other kids at the corner

But, if the lady decides to forgive the shameless goat(the good for nothing husband) then she SHOULD take in the child with love and care. Its not the baby's fault the man couldn't keep his thing to himself (or his wife alone)
The baby is innocent and should be treated as such, right??

mamaput:

stay or go.
Its the man that has to do something about it. Its his child.
It was not his wife that held him at gunpoint to have sex outside

for d fact that it was not the woman's fault is still affecting her so is better they put heads together and solve d problem.

okwosi:

for d fact that it was not the woman's fault is still affecting her so is better they put heads together and solve d problem.

its not as easy to take in that child and love it.
If i hate the child what then?
Feelings are something that cannot be helped.

the jerk is obviously sleeping around with prostitutes without protection since she got pregnant. he's endangering his wife and family. thats not cool at all. the baby is innocent and it will take a hell lotta woman to love it.

I'm shocked to see a number of respondents using "it". Abeg a child is either he or she. The 2 individuals who couldn't zip up should be refered to as "it".

If the woman can bear to laccept (asking her to love may be asking for too much) the child; I'd suggest taking the child in. If she does accept the innocent child now she could feel otherwise when she begins to deal with the effects (of her husband's irresponsible act) like STI, STD or the worst case scenarios.

If the man can bear to let go of his humble "sperm" donation; putting the child up for adoption is another option.

Whatever the decision, make sure the papers are well signed; the prostitute may turn a new leaf and demand for her position as mother and legal concubine (na Yoruba's talk say eni bi'mo fun ni ku ro l'ale eni - the one who has a child for you can no longer be regarded as a mistress).

a prostitute with a conscience.I'm surprised she kept the pregnancy and missed out on her regular pay.

it would be hard to accept the child as one of your own

personally I wouldn't. If a man cheated on me not once or twice and also put me at risk of STDs, it means he doesn't want me anymore and I would leave(and take him to the cleaners)what rubbish!

He can decide what to do with the child.

As human beings we all ve feelings which makes us human,at first i will be very upset(dats normal)and angry wit him for betraying my trust in him,But personally i will accept the child(i know it wont be easy cos its not my biological child)but am a mother too and i know bringing up a child out of the matrimonial home has it hazards.So i will accept the child as mine.

accept it as a destiny.There is nothing new on earth.All i believe is that there is nobody above mistake.

You are right girl we are all humans and we are prone to mistakes,afterall God forgives y cant we just 4give someone we claim to love

Memunah:

As human beings we all ve feelings which makes us human,at first i will be very upset(that is normal)and angry wit him for betraying my trust in him,But personally i will accept the child(i know it wont be easy because its not my biological child)but am a mother too and i know bringing up a child out of the matrimonial home has it hazards.So i will accept the child as mine.

really ? you will hug the child and give it a good night kiss?
You will say love you each time the child steps out of the door?

Nite Angel, please can you write me, I want to know that secret place of the most high.

My email :honestysmith@yahoo.co.uk am waiting please

Memunah:

You are right girl we are all humans and we are prone to mistakes,afterall God forgives y can't we just 4give someone we claim to love

Ofcourse we should forgive, but the question is if the person in question is repentant

we should definitely forgive.

but haba!cheat once!  twice,thrice!then baby,prostitute! !!
that's too many mistakes for me. (A[i] go waka before a kon commit murder an begin look for forgiveness myself.)[/i]

cuteass, i agree wit u on forgiveness which is d ultimate but the question is not who cheated or on what it was cheated on but why d cheating? the girl in question should ask why she was bin cheated on. maybe she wasn't 4comin. she shld check hrself. its enough insult dat it was a prostitute. anyway lets all pray dat our guys wldnt go dat low,so lets try to do it right. some men are Dogs u know.

As for me it will take time before i could accept this child as a member of my family.let come to think of it this so called prostitute has unfinished project with my husband.As a prostitute she will know the real father of this child,it may happen my husband is not the father put she want to put her child in safe hand so that she can continue with her sex biz.one day will come when she will want her child and dont be surprise if she say u are nt the father of my child so in that case the child can stay in my house .if he want the child he will have to hirer a nanny or take it to his mother( mother inlaw)to put her grand child.

for the useless man he will never have sex with me without condom if he can't take it.let him continue with his work outside then we will living in the house as two man

that is why he is my husband and the marriage vow is to love him in pains and in trouble.i will accept the baby as mine,but he will have to promise me that he will have nothing to do with the mother again!i will accept the bABY becos it could be me in that position.

What if the mother wants to see the child

Interesting posts, but since it is obvious the thread is for ladies in the house,
gotta keep my comments to myself.

Tunmininu, you sure sound like a married woman - are you?
Sure would be cool to hear the opinion of (other) married women in the house.

Though it may be painful but the woman should take the child as her own and leave everyother thing for God cos the child is innocent

Wow! Its bad enough that the man cheated wit a low-life b**ch, having a baby is just the height!

Bt, the baby has to hhave a home, gud, to ensure that he neva 4gets his act of indiscpline, i take the child in, as a pay back!!!

NO,i'm not a married woman!i am putting myself the the woman's shoes

i will advice the woman to take the child but not mixed him/her with her children.

cos that child can inherit part of her mothers behaviour and she should be prayerful cos that woman can come back to claim her husband.

Prostitutes Child.

Had it been the woman coming in witha kid with another man, I doubt we'd be seeing alot of "he should take the kid in" *rolls eyes*

stay or go.
Its the man that has to do something about it. Its his child.
It was not his wife that held him at gunpoint to have sex outside

I agree and people saying "take it in and love it", like mamaput said you can't force feelings and I personally know I wont be happy having such a child around, that's if some sorta spirit doesnt even make me divorce the disgusting man in the first place.
Better for the kid to be placed in a nice place for adoption then to have to deal with a "stepmother" that doesnt care for him/her.

tunmininu:

that is why he is my husband and the marriage vow is to love him in pains and in trouble.i will accept the baby as mine,but he will have to promise me that he will have nothing to do with the mother again!i will accept the bABY because it could be me in that position.

  See it is very easy to say but very difficult to put it in action, what of if you happen to be the legal wife & all you are producing is female & the prostitute CHILD is a MALE indirectly what is going to happen? I'm not in support of not accepting the child as others have said because the child is innocent of everything but it takes the grace of GOD {because many tribe cherish Male Child than Female}My only prayer is that God should give us favour in our marriages both the male & female because it happen to the two parties

feelgood:

Interesting posts, but since it is obvious the thread is for ladies in the house,
gotta keep my comments to myself.

Tunmininu, you sure sound like a married woman - are you?
Sure would be cool to hear the opinion of (other) married women in the house.

I am married and i would walk if this happened. for a man to do this to a woman he is married to, he is trying to tell her he does not want her anymore.

this is not just an affair.it was regular unprotected sex with a prostitute. I would like to hear what the men would expect their wives to do if they stooped low enough to commit such behaviour.

Well I may be able to give the child the bear necessities of life.
But not the love.

beckygirl:

i will advice the woman to take the child but not mixed him/her with her children.

because that child can inherit part of her mothers behaviour and she should be prayerful because that woman can come back to claim her husband.

Prostitutes Child.

I will not encourage my children to hate that child , its their brother or sister same blood.
Prostitutes are made not born.
I may never love that child but i willnot hate it.
I will not take care of it like something that is my own. But like something i am looking after for someone.
But who knows you may just see the baby and fall in love with it.

I forgot to add.
Nobody dear call that clild any name near me.

i am a mother, and every child, no matter where their origin, is my child and i will love them as such.

the child did not ask to be born.