Kaynee:


Madam its obvious Nancy was referring to the guy who's walking out of his marriage and seeking for another lady from south south or whatever location he put up there. She wasn't referring to the op and am sure the Op understood that. Anyway to the Op, I would just advice you to rest now for the sake of the baby, pray for yourself tell God to turn around things to your favor. Let's hope that when the baby comes, Dadee will step up his game. He might be overwhelmed by more sense of responsibility when the baby comes. Am crossing my finger for you on that.

She brought it to this thread because I quoted the op in another thread where he made that post. While I don't disagree with your advice for the op, I'm going to drag Nancy the white lady, by her blonde hair follicles. She's always running her mouth about African and black people. She tried to troll the op and it backfired. Every time she tries it, I'm going to light her up.

Madam sorry but this scenario is exactly what u get when u and yur folks foot the wedding yourselves. A lazy idle man is reborn.

Sorry but divorce is not the solution.

Kaynee:


Madam its obvious Nancy was referring to the guy who's walking out of his marriage and seeking for another lady from south south or whatever location he put up there. She wasn't referring to the op and am sure the Op understood that. Anyway to the Op, I would just advice you to rest now for the sake of the baby, pray for yourself tell God to turn around things to your favor. Let's hope that when the baby comes, Dadee will step up his game. He might be overwhelmed by more sense of responsibility when the baby comes. Am crossing my finger for you on that.

Thanks for defending me. Any sane person would know that I wasn't responding to the OP. I see the lady you responded to, made mention of another thread. I never saw the other thread and she must think so highly of herself if she thinks my response was because of whatever she wrote. I have no interest in looking for and reading the other thread. I have decided not to respond to her anymore because "you just can't fix stupid".

oh this is sad. something like this happened to a close relative of mine.
You can keep on advising and encouraging ur husband to get a better job, but get a source of income, u can get involved in something that doesn't require so much physical exertion to take care of yourself and your baby.

vivypretty:

I know it has a downside but earning smth doesn't mean u shud gv it to him or Carter for all his needs ....some men bring their A game when they feel their position as d head of a family is being threatened

some men dnt also av shame sleeping and waking up doing nothing and expecting d wife to kip feeding him

realtalk19:


some men dnt also av shame sleeping and waking up doing nothing and expecting d wife to kip feeding him

so what do u suggest, u said u been there

vivypretty:

so what do u suggest, u said u been there

i was only trying to back up ur suggestion.

just trying to explain dat some men wil stil not b moved despite ur aving a job.

i just try to make myself happy.

ur advice is ok.

nothing personal.

kcijc:
op. is ur hubby from imo state? coz dats most of imo guys attitude

I'm from Imo State, Nkwerre LGA to be precise. I'm past 34 and not married due to unstable financial situations.

I swear you are so dumb I feel like e-slapping you.

@OP since your parents are affluent, could you beg them for a loan to start something up for him or even fly him out?

selflessmaya:


if u think my reply to OP is rude, that's your prerogative. i also know ppl like u, overly sentimental, watches too much nollywood and is spoon-fed the idea of delayed gratification, think u know more than u actually know yet quick to shut down signs of too much intelligence with an invalid counter especially if u feel u can relate to the backlash. i'm not laughing last here cos my case has nothing to do with OP's carelessness and inability to use common sense or listen to instruction so we have nothing to compete about, our lives are totally different and mine is fantastic like u correctly observed and my date was nice since u mentioned that too. .
my first comment to OP was nice but blunt but i will not further coddle a woman who does not love herself to the point of dragging a newborn into a messed up life cos she's incompetent and dumb. you dont matter to me either, so we have that in common and if u think i'm one to come here and call ppl 'cow or goat' not my thing, i state my point and tell ppl the fuccking truth and if they're too dumb, i wont be nice telling it. and no, my wisdom is not infinite but yes, i am very smart and i know a lot and i wont condescend on a forum here to make ppl who are so hellbent on being self-destructive feel better. and however my comment makes OP feel is tiny compared to what her unfortunate choices will make her feel.
i'm not the "heya" kind of person like u, when the case is open and close, i call it and keep it moving. so pls take your sentiments elsewhere, you're trying to appeal to the wrong person. bye.



and i'm a huge advocate of divorce not to talk of in cases where the marriage is just unfortunate like this one and i dont care how many children are involved, when it's time to leave, it's time to leave. but OP had her window to leave with as little ties to this man and least complications to her life and chose to do different and right now, whether she stays or leaves, her life will never be the same or as easier as it would have been if she had listened to the initial advices that were given to her many times. and OP, the nerve of someone with your record throwing around the word "foolishness" lmao bye bye

[img]https://media./images/e3f12d425385527b9db44cdc20432a41/tenor.gif[/img]

I like you.

coolcatty:



Calm down and read what that guy wrote.

The anger and disgust from we sane people is the fact that this same op has complained times without that she is tired of the marriage.... She lacks the spirit of perseverance and is a confirmed nag.

The day a woman will tell me that she has fallen out of love with me because of my financial state is the day I will walk out of the marriage...... What the op is doing is not new... So many women do it without nagging..

I honestly pity her husband and wish I personally know him so I can advise him to take a long walk and call off this charade of a marriage off.

Rubbish

Baba, most of our women are ungrateful. She's putting that man under pressure. The man is definitely depressed. I'm sure she's denying him so many things, like sex, respect, even food. Op, if you walk out of that marriage, believe me, you're going to regret it. You're a nag, wicked and heartless woman, you suppose to support your husband not disrespecting him.

This is just the beginning. Many of dem slay queens will have a broken home, people marry for the wrong reasons. I'm sure your husband was giving you a good time when courting. I feel no pity for all these useless girls these days.
My advice for madam op, carry your load and go since you can fend for yourself and kid. Marriage is a partnership, when your partner is weak you step up. Afterall, men and women are now equal. Anyone can provide! I'm beginning to agree that marriage has outlived it's usefulness. What's marriage without trying to help our partners overcome their weaknesses? Instead we scheme and look for ways to punish them. By marrying anybody at all, you are automatically responsible for half of the persons faults, afterall you weren't forced and had the opportunity to do your research. Please, kindly divorce this man and go your way. Best wishes ahead.

needforanswers:
Lol, God forbid my child will never suffer.
Either give advice without involving my kid or stfu. Such nonsense.
Yes, I got pregnant knowing the kind of person I married because I wanted a kid. I wanted to have a child for a long time and I can comfortable care for myself and my child even if I leave him so getting pregnant doesn't translate to being stuck with him forever.
I don't know why people on this site think because you ask for advice that gives them the right to type any and every sort of rubbish to you.

because you've a child now, you want to dump him. You only think about yourself, it's obvious you don't love this man, thus you'll always frustrate his life no matter how hard he try to please you. Ma'am go and work on yourself. Why can't you support this man in anyway possible, have you given him money and he squander it? Denying him sex is act of wickedness, you'll reap what you sow. Nonsense.

OP please calm down and be patient.

grafixdon:


because you've a child now, you want to dump him. You only think about yourself, it's obvious you don't love this man, thus you'll always frustrate his life no matter how hard he try to please you. Ma'am go and work on yourself. Why can't you support this man in anyway possible, have you given him money and he squander it? Denying him sex is act of wickedness, you'll reap what you sow. Nonsense.

I love u (no homoo)

The op is a wordly person... Always thinking of what she will gain not how she will impact..... I pity the man... He will never progress with this nag by his side... He is so so doom and his star will shine the day the woman leaves him.....

Imagine denying your husband of seeeex because he doesn't have money.... Nothing I will not hear on this forum.

needforanswers:
I stopped finding him attractive and have been avoiding sexual encounters with him. I don't know if my being pregnant is the reason or its because I am put off by his laziness and inability to plan for the future which are two things he admitted by himself after we got married. And no I didn't know all of that before we got married because he told a number of lies about his financial status so I assumed he was quite put together and had his life in order. Its just recently he started saying things like 'black people are backwards because they don't plan for the future' and he doesn't know whether to point fingers because he himself doesn't plan for the future. He isn't even so young to know that his way of life is wrong. He is a mature man. When I bring up the issue of how he needs to work harder and save up for our unborn child he starts arguing that I worry too much and I need to learn to leave the future to take care of itself.

your husband is a phlegmatic.. you would have studied his character before marrying.. all what you have to do is to tell him about the dangers of procrastinating and not working hard..make him to see things different.

Brils:
your husband is a phlegmatic.. you would have studied his character before marrying.. all what you have to do is to tell him about the dangers of procrastinating and not working hard..make him to see things different.

Sure thing. I'll talk to him.

I blame the man. Yes, not because he's temporarily broke even, but because he got saddled with a relentless upstart that would sooner wish him dead than let up keeping with the joneses.
Chai, the thought of waking up next to such a partner makes me break out in a cold sweat!

@op, I can tell you that you are this man's problem. If you can sound this hateful online after just a few months being married, then I can imagine the fear and trepidation this man lives in. And you expect him to make any headway with such bad vibes? Well, I can assure you that sex with you is the last thing on his mind. He's fighting for his life here. Many men have died from less.