Austindumas1:

that's where you got it wrong, life plays us at different levels, our reactions to it differs, our psychological make ups are different, the comparison can only make sense to a certain level.
I know I've it hard with life, I equally know some people might have it harder, if I was selfish, I wouldn't be here any longer, I think I'm selfless, and my mum and sis had been my saving grace, cause each time I try to cross the line,I remember them, I remember all we've been through and instinctually I know they won't survive it if I'm gone, especially now, buh am I happy with myself? nope,my life is like a candle, burning to give them light,without it they are blanked too, don't always hastened to quick conclusion

I said you're selfish based on the info you gave originally

I have no relationship with anybody, I'm so lonely

...i know from your post that the quoted above isnt true.
May God help you!

Alexk2:
You look great...not exactly older than your age if you ask me. I'll love to be a friend if you dont mind..

okay thank u well here Is my contact,07064625761,we can chat on whatsapp

@ OP, I understand how you feel because I have being through it before. My advice is get close to God, the only person who can help you is the holy spirit.the truth is nobody can help you get out of this except you and God. Friends and family ll disappeare in time of trouble, even mock you, all you need now is to be strong.this time ll pass.the devil wants you to take your life cos he has seen your future.things like this happen to people who ll be great in life so you can have story to tell, also so you can help others who also go through this. Just want you to know that God loves you.take care.

Austindumas1:
the world may soon lose another soul, I know I'm not important anyway.
I've tried all my life to be stable for once, right from childhood I struggled, no family, no friend, I assured myself it will get better buh it doesn't, as I get older, it seem the truckload of depression multiplies, I look in to the future all I see is a dark Paradise, each night I pray and cry myself to sleep, what could be my crime?
why was I created? I'm told we all have purposes here, what's mine? I don't know.
I have no relationship with anybody, I'm so lonely, I've struggled so much, I think its time I get some peace,something I've never knew, I feel ashamed to tell people what I go through each day, I'm like a stranger here.
Waking up each day is no longer my wish
anymore, as I'm tired of living
Nothing seems to work for me again,
I just want to escape from this world and bury
my shame
Frustrated and hopeless

I just logged in only for you. From the time I started reading your post, I automatically knew you had chronic depression. Please try and get some medication for anxiety and depression they usually go together. Trust me not many people will understand when you say you feel alone. You could feel alone in a room full of laughter and joy, it's the nature of the beast. Think of yourself a little couse the burden you carry is a huge trigger. Get yourself well so you can take care of your family.

Am not sure how your health system works like but at this point you really need medication just to boost you up to gain your focus and strength. Speak to someone you trust and just let it out. It's easier to manage when you're on treatment. Skip buying something and save for Nuzak (it could be called something else there), hope you can find it where you are. Within a week or 2 you will slowly feel like yourself again. It's one of the more affordable pills I could think of now and doesn't have a lot of side effects.

Try and avoid depressing news or negative people as much as you can but DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT TAKING YOUR LIFE. It does get better overtime, just hold on.

Am praying that you be strong little brother, YOU CAN BEAT THIS!

I suspect scam.

You need to be positive even in face of adversity and negativity. Do not allow the situations and circumstances of this life to take away your life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The Bible say in the book of Ecc.3:1-8 that there is time for everything under the sun. What you are facing now is a phase of life which will soon pass away. You are in a time of sadness and depression now but if you can be persistent and endure a little more with faith, courage and positive mindset, then your time of joy is around the corner. Also Jesus said come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and i will give you rest. Come to Jesus today and be saved and He will see you through. It is well in the well, please do not commit suicide. Shallom.

Alexk2:

You have a browsing phone., data and can compose good english like the one up there and you qualify yourself as if you have nothing to thank God for...really? You need to visit an IDP camp or a specialist hospital.

I'll try to be real with you...you problem have a foundation in SELFISHNESS. Yes., i mean it., you're so selfish that you care-less about others and that makes you lie about no family and friends. Look., you better learn to care and show concern for others; life is not all about you only! The truth is real happiness in life can easily be found in making others smile through acts of kindness and appreciating the effort of others who are trying hard to help you...everybody have challenges; even dangote..yes., you heard me well...only those who are able to look beyond self enjoy a happy life.
You have all you need to pick your life up and be all you want to be if only you stop pitying yourself and get something meaningful doing.
This is my best advice for you!

thank you for saying this ...you just spoke to me

Austindumas1:
this bashing is really the reason I hate to speak up, I've seen people bashed when they complained, and they ended up committing suicide, anyway thanks for your time, I was wrong to make this post.
always remember we struggle differently, our reactions to pains also differs and we are different individuals.
thanks again

Relax bro. Is good to speak up and not keep things within you. Is good to know you keep living knowing fully well you are like a burning candle to your family.
Sometime ago I was also in problems and I had already given up but from a place i never thought of help came and today I can say I am better of than before. Not like everything is now rosy but is far better than before.

What I am saying is this,try and keep your trust in God and pray to him. Again make conscious effort to improve your life.things will never remain the same for you. A change is in sight for you. Keep holding on.

Austindumas1:

that's where you got it wrong, life plays us at different levels, our reactions to it differs, our psychological make ups are different, the comparison can only make sense to a certain level.
I know I've it hard with life, I equally know some people might have it harder, if I was selfish, I wouldn't be here any longer, I think I'm selfless, and my mum and sis had been my saving grace, cause each time I try to cross the line,I remember them, I remember all we've been through and instinctually I know they won't survive it if I'm gone, especially now, buh am I happy with myself? nope,my life is like a candle, burning to give them light,without it they are blanked too, don't always hastened to quick conclusion

Oga you know all these things and you still had the gut to write what u wrote up there. Please try and hold unto God he never far, he will suprise you soon. Help is on the way. don't die

Austindumas1:
the world may soon lose another soul, I know I'm not important anyway.
I've tried all my life to be stable for once, right from childhood I struggled, no family, no friend, I assured myself it will get better buh it doesn't, as I get older, it seem the truckload of depression multiplies, I look in to the future all I see is a dark Paradise, each night I pray and cry myself to sleep, what could be my crime?
why was I created? I'm told we all have purposes here, what's mine? I don't know.
I have no relationship with anybody, I'm so lonely, I've struggled so much, I think its time I get some peace,something I've never knew, I feel ashamed to tell people what I go through each day, I'm like a stranger here.
Waking up each day is no longer my wish
anymore, as I'm tired of living
Nothing seems to work for me again,
I just want to escape from this world and bury
my shame
Frustrated and hopeless

Do you have a job?

OP u can just post your troubles here at least people are listening.

peggycious:
@ OP, I understand how you feel because I have being through it before. My advice is get close to God, the only person who can help you is the holy spirit.the truth is nobody can help you get out of this except you and God. Friends and family ll disappeare in time of trouble, even mock you, all you need now is to be strong.this time ll pass.the devil wants you to take your life cos he has seen your future.things like this happen to people who ll be great in life so you can have story to tell, also so you can help others who also go through this. Just want you to know that God loves you.take care.

thanks

TheCabal:
OP u can just post your troubles here at least people are listening.

I already did

O.p you can send me message through my email if you ever need a friend to talk to. I will be listening.

Ginaz:
O.p you can send me message through my email if you ever need a friend to talk to. I will be listening.

good to know u can render help but u are shy

Ginaz:
O.p you can send me message through my email if you ever need a friend to talk to. I will be listening.

thank you, add me on whatsapp with my num 07064625761

Austindumas1:

well it's not a poem buh I write too, I do write poems and songs based on how I feel at a particular moment.
about this post, I've battled depression for a long time, I don't usually complain much about it until of recent, I held the whole pains inside, right now it's much to carry along, I've no strength anymore.
I never had a normal childhood, my parents broke up when I was just 2,I never had any memory of my father except him beating my mum, ultimately they divorced, my dad remarried, we used to be six in my family, few years later, like a movie, I lost my siblings in an accident, my mum suffered stroke afterwards, just on recovery she lost her job, I was barely 16,I had to get my family together, I struggled, I opt out of sch then, there was nothing like stability in our lives, nobody bothered to help, I'm a sicker too, I struggled through my health and family issues, I think they whole agony slipped me into depression, the fact that nobody cares, I mean I've rich relatives including my father who could had given a hand, buh everybody paid deaf ear, even several occasions we approached some all we got was snubs, well God had been faithful too, I'm done with my ND programme in polytechnic,it was tough, cause I was responding for everything there, my journey with depression hasn't been easy, if not for my mum I'd given up already, buh on second thought, she won't make it if I die, my sister too, buh I'll lie if I say I'm happy living, the pressure and pains are much.

Sorry kiddo
You HAVE been thru quite a lot.
And you also have sickle cell ??
Well im not surprised you feel this way. DEPRESSION is one of the non physical complications of the condition.
Just remember that if youre still alive and not dead from your SCD God has a better plan for your tommrow.
Last month my cousin got married he got SCD his had his depressive episodes hes in his mid 40s !
He will be a dad soon...
Just try to be strong.

lollarj:



Sorry kiddo
You HAVE been thru quite a lot.
And you also have sickle cell ??
Well im not surprised you feel this way. DEPRESSION is one of the non physical complications of the condition.
Just remember that if youre still alive and not dead from your SCD God has a better plan for your tommrow.
Last month my cousin got married he got SCD his had his depressive episodes hes in his mid 40s !
He will be a dad soon...
Just try to be strong.

thanks a lot, just that its hard, very tough, all my life I've been on medication, right now I feel like I'm a burden,words can't explain how I feel.
I feel so alone and scared.

Austindumas1:

thanks a lot, just that its hard, very tough, all my life I've been on medication, right now I feel like I'm a burden,words can't explain how I feel.
I feel so alone and scared.

Never dwell on your condition, it will only get you down. You look fit from your photo, what u need to work on is your mind.

olagift:
You need to be positive even in face of adversity and negativity. Do not allow the situations and circumstances of this life to take away your life. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The Bible say in the book of Ecc.3:1-8 that there is time for everything under the sun. What you are facing now is a phase of life which will soon pass away. You are in a time of sadness and depression now but if you can be persistent and endure a little more with faith, courage and positive mindset, then your time of joy is around the corner. Also Jesus said come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and i will give you rest. Come to Jesus today and be saved and He will see you through. It is well in the well, please do not commit suicide. Shallom.

op why worried when you can have ab udance of peace, happiness and friendship you desire. JESUS gives hope a
nd love to anyone that desire.He is a true friend at all times. Connect with him today and testify his goodness. John 15vs 13-15